Depression...

[madass]

I'd love to know how common it is - real depression I mean, not transient mood following normal life event - dog dies or parent passes away.

Any stats type info out there? Y'know - 1 in 20 get it or... whatever.

And recover/longer term prospects? What can be expected?

i know that 1 in 5 australians suffer from some kind of mental illness (depression being the most common)

[deanohit]

Yea, but thats because they're in aussie you see!

Seriously though, I think that stat would be pretty close to what it's like here in NZ.

[Kittyhawk]

Living life with depression is a fark arse bitch of a thing to have.

Almost like you are two people. On the good days life is easy, and nothing can drag you down you are going for your goals and taking on challenges with the greatest of ease... Seriously, I can not understand others who are depressed at the time when Im happy and on top of the world.

I question it "why are you down, whats caused it, move on and try something new whats the point in moping and feeling sorry for yourself HTFU kinda thing..." its not till Im in that screwed up headspace only then can I understand how blinding it really is.

Every single event in life happens for a reason, theres a cause and ending to everything. Good times and bad times pass...just feels like the bad lasts longer.

[DarkHeart]

Bugger,bugger,bugger. Just wrote a kinda lengthy reply post,but somehow the whole thing just went tits up and buggerd off totally. Carver,the idea of "sex action" relief is a bloody good one,just need the other half of the equation. Knowing my luck.............fat chance. Anyway. Bluebabe,i fully agree with you about the emotions and feelings thing. Yeah it would solve a few hassels/problems if i could just do that,but it not that simple. U are very lucky to have a guy like that. I have been in touch with my femminine/emotional side on more than one occasion,and have actually liked what it can achieve and feel like. However usually when i do that i get slammed f&*kin hard by the people around me. So i do what comes naturally and go back into my shell and hide behind my bloody big wall and facade that i put up. Serves a good purpose,but a friend of mine told me recently that in order for her to help me thru this i have to start pulling down my wall. Which i am trying to do. Not easy but i'm trying. Some of my closer friends know and have seen my softer side and like waht they see and hence don't judge me. (bonus) And a couple pof people i've met not so long ago saw straight thru the wall and facade and found some of the real me. Which scared the hell out of me. But guess it gotta be good in some way. Anyway enuf bable from me for now. Peace out people.

[slippery]

hi all. long time no post.

just wanted to say i been travelling and i seen much that reminds me why life is not so bad in nz. i truely believe its the best country. i just hope we can all move on as one country. i think my depression would lift immensely. pride in your country is a massive part of identity.

much love.

peace.

[Ocean1]

hi all. long time no post.

just wanted to say i been travelling and i seen much that reminds me why life is not so bad in nz. i truely believe its the best country. i just hope we can all move on as one country. i think my depression would lift immensely. pride in your country is a massive part of identity.

much love.

peace.

Me too. I also wonder how much influence the negative-focus press and the general poor social behaviour has on depression stat's.

This is old, but does it help explain a certain lack? : http://www.businessballs.com/maslow.htm

[Winston001]

Thanks Ocean, can't recall reading that before. Simple and to the point.

[DarkHeart]

Hi all,long time no post. Well i've finally read this entire thread. Man what an eye opener. Big ups to all those who have posted deep personal stuff for all to see. Most if not all of it has been beneficial to me personally in one form or another. I really appreciate Kitty putting me on to the thread. Has given me a lot of "tools" to help me on my way to sorting myself out. Anyway thanks again to all who have contributed,i'll pop on from time to time to drop a few lines of my life. Once i've got a better handle on things at least anyway.

[Kittyhawk]

How's everyone going, hope you all are enjoying the lovely riding weather, best is yet to come, might look at getting a small bike in the new year...that way I wont be doing over the speed limit.

[RiderInBlack]

Been a tough few days/weeks but seem ta be snapping out of it. Just life shit that seem ta be piling up, triggering the old Black Dog ta nip at my heals. This, of cause, cause more shit ta stick cause my attitude was sucking. Thank goodness the weather has improved as this has let me get some work done. As a self-employed Farrier (horse shoer), I'm reliant on the weather. Good weather = better income. Bad weather = well ya can work it out. On top of this I've had my work van brake down (fixed now) = more loss on income. In amongest this I ended up having a cold (yep stressing will do that too ya), and have had ta shift house yet again. Well when it started ta rain last week, that was the last straw. I was barely holding it together by Wed/Thursday this week. No it was not good for those around me ether, especial my partner (sorry babe). Makes work harder too. Horses are masters of reading body language and are very affected by moods. No surprise they were fighting me as I tried hard not ta snap and lash-out. I'm not a violent person, but that doesn't mean I don't feel violent or don't have the odd violent thought. I have also been trying ta find a new job, due too my poor income and the fact that I am finding it hard to be "therapeutic" for the horse (a must as far as I am concerned if ya going ta do that job). Job seeking I have always found hard on my ego. I can find it really crashing. It was at the heart of what drove me to almost give up on life before I turned 30. Thankfully I seeked counseling back then and made it through. But yer having ta fight ta get even a laboring job and getting rejected really gets me down making it harder ta be positive enough to apply of the next one. Definitely a "Black Dog" trigger for me.
Anyway am getting there slowly now. Having ta face some of the damage it has does ta my relationship and my work now (dam hard when ya feeling a bit shaky). But least I feeling a bit more up beat and hardening back-up slowly. Looking forward ta having a ride Sunday ta meet good friends.

Sorry for the rabble, but just need ta get this shit off my chest. Thank with putting up with it.

[Winston001]

I'm glad you got that off your chest Riderinblack, it helps to know there are sympathetic people here who listen and know what you are saying. Going for a ride and seeing friends is very healthy.

Have you noticed that this thread hasn't been posted in for 3 weeks? I find that very interesting. Increased sunlight and warmer weather tends to lift depression and I'm hoping that people are feeling better about themselves and their lives.

There are still events which bring on the Black Dog no matter how sunny it is. I'm sure you will find another job and that will be great for your self esteem. Ironically, despite the good weather, Christmas itself is a time of great stress and it isn't unusual for depression to surface. All the happy happy noise and rush makes it seem as though everyone else is having a ball. They aren't.

[DarkHeart]

Hi all. Well yeah the last few weeks have sure been interesting. Had a few little "episodes" which hasn't helped my any at all. Were a few days there that i just simply didn't wanna get out of bed or function at all. But forced my sorry butt out of bed and off to work. And boy does work suck big time at the moment. With the lead up to xmas being our busiest period it made for some really bad times. With people gettin stressed and biting at others all day made it hard to stay focused on anything,which in turn bought back my lovely little black cloud. All i wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide under the shelves. Came so close bolting from the office and going home quite a few times. But oddly enough with the change in weather and some support form my friends things are slowly getting better. Anywho hope all is well with u all. Have a merry xmas and happy new year.

[Edbear]

Hi all. Well yeah the last few weeks have sure been interesting. Had a few little "episodes" which hasn't helped my any at all. Were a few days there that i just simply didn't wanna get out of bed or function at all. But forced my sorry butt out of bed and off to work. And boy does work suck big time at the moment. With the lead up to xmas being our busiest period it made for some really bad times. With people gettin stressed and biting at others all day made it hard to stay focused on anything,which in turn bought back my lovely little black cloud. All i wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide under the shelves. Came so close bolting from the office and going home quite a few times. But oddly enough with the change in weather and some support form my friends things are slowly getting better. Anywho hope all is well with u all. Have a merry xmas and happy new year.

Noticed your sig. Happiness can be found, but it comes from within. You can be happy to recieve something or find something nice, but real happiness isn't to be found but within your heart and mind. If you like yourself, and have self-esteem and self-confidence you will be happy.

There are two basic types of people, positive and negative. While it is easier for positives to be happy, a negative can also, if they work at it and have good support. My wife is a negative, and had a bad childhood which left her with very low self-esteem, well okay, no self-esteem. But she is beginning to find herself and appreciate that she is worth something, worth loving and that she is allowed to be happy.

You are allowed to laugh, to find love, to be somebody to someone and if you don't know what to do, it's not a reflection of intelligence, simply a lack of learning and that can be rectified. Humility isn't weakness, it can only be due to inner strength, as is mildness.

Never be afraid to ask for professional help. NZ does have one of the best Mental Health systems in the world, and it's not weakness to talk to a professional about how you feel. You can very quickly establish whether they know what they are talking about and whether you can gain anything from them.

Cheers,

[RiderInBlack]

That's one thing that bugs me:
"Have I always been more serious, or are others better at covering-up their downs".
I work at being happy. Some days are easier than others. But yet I have friends that seem "unsinkably" up-bet. Some of them down right cocky and overly full of their own self importance. They seem ta get work/partners etc easier. What I would do just ta have a touch of that (although I forgo manic levels). Yes I am aware that how I feel about myself (IE: ego/ level of self worth) does have a major effect on not only how you feel about what's happening around/to you, but also effects the opportunities ya get in life (think shit, get shit. think opportunity, get opportunities), but some days it is so dam hard ta be up-bet. More frustrating is that I know how important it is. At the end of the day I'm still lucky that I don't have the type of depression that is totally mind chemistry caused. I fell for ya Dudes and Dudettes that have ta deal with that. No mine is a mind-set that triggers the feeling and causes the chemistry ta change. Ta "snap out of it" I need ta work at changing my mind set. It a life long thing. For months and even years I think I've got it sussed, but then it only needs a few things not going the way I would like and if I'm not careful I'll get sucked back in the old bad mind-set rut.
Well I'll keep working on it. Ya Dudes and Dudettes hang in there, OK. Things do get better if ya let them

[Edbear]

[QUOTE=RiderInBlack;1341754...But yet I have friends that seem "unsinkably" up-bet. Some of them down right cocky and overly full of their own self importance. They seem ta get work/partners etc easier. What I would do just ta have a touch of that ...

Ta "snap out of it" I need ta work at changing my mind set. It a life long thing. For months and even years I think I've got it sussed, but then it only needs a few things not going the way I would like and if I'm not careful I'll get sucked back in the old bad mind-set rut...[/QUOTE]


You will only reinforce your "mind-set" by comparing yourself negatively with others. While it seems they are up-beat and more successful than you, appearances can be decieving.

If you can be knocked down by a "few things not going your way", it is more than a mind-set. I could be thrown into despair by a word, or a look and feel everything was hopeless. I had to recognise it as a symptom of depression, not reality and wait it out, knowing that it would pass, (difficult at times!).

I am a naturally positive person, able to see the silver lining, able to read between the lines of other's speech and make allowances for them, not taking their words to heart, yet I suffered clinical depression. It was a shock to me that I could be depressed!

Don't try to "work at being happy", rather look at yourself realistically. Evaluate your qualities and abilities honestly. You are good at many things, and no doubt have family and friends who appreciate you. Yet you probably minimize or dismiss the positive things they say and make excuses as to why they are wrong. Life isn't a box of roses and we suffer many trials and setbacks. It can become easy to focus on what's gone/going wrong and forget to appreciate what went right.

I made a rule, not to think when I was tired, as everything seemed worse, then. "Sleep on it" became the rule, and I can't emphasise enough the need for adequate rest. Sleep deprivation is a recognised form of torture as it drives the victim mad. If you torture yourself in the same way, expect the same result... Your mind and body needs sleep to heal, recover and sort itself out. While you are asleep your subconscious mind is "tidying up" and sorting out your thoughts. It can't do this if it is over tired and not being given the chance.