Gender differences

[Bikernereid]

A recent situation occurred that has had me thinking about wether I am naturally stubborn/determined or wether it has something to do with gender stereotyping. Ever since I was young I was always told that girls can't do things (jump out of second story bedroom windows), that girls should do things ([play with dolls, dress like a girl) and shouldn't do things (climb trees etc).

I am glad to say that for the most part my father and to some extent my mother did not reinforce gender stereotyping but the rest of society seemed to want to place me in the nice little girly pigeonhole. Whenever anyone met our family and had heard about the child who was nuts about bikes they aurtomotically started talking to my very confused little brother who had no idea about bikes whatsoever. When my dad informed themk that they were in fact talking to the wrong child the look or shock used to crack dad n I up heaps!!

Being the little tomboy person that I was I of course did everything that was laddish and had nothing to do with all of that girly crap like dolls, make-up, and wearing dresses. I have always been a 'fighter' in the persistence sense of the word but I am now wondering wether I would be quite so fiesty and not able to walk away from challenges etc if I had be born a boy!

Just wondering if there are any old tomboys and or stubborn girly types on there who might be able to provide thier insight and experiences!

[Blackbird]

Hi Lily

Was your mother fairly feisty? Our daughter is like you and certainly isn't a "girly" stereotype. She also has a tongue that will cut concrete at 50 paces - doesn't take prisoners if someone richly deserves a sharp retort . She's the spitting image of her mother in this respect and wondered if your Mum was the same. Of course, daughter inherited her love of cars and bikes from me, although her Mum does drive a MX5 with Mazdaspeed trick bits.

Geoff

[jrandom]

... I am now wondering wether I would be quite so fiesty and not able to walk away from challenges etc if I had be born a boy!

In my experience, anyone who has to excuse themselves as 'feisty' tends, in reality, to be simply aggressive and unpleasant, and to lack the ability to empathise with and positively manage other people's emotions.

Men who have that particular issue end up in all sorts of trouble. Self-control is a key life skill and a general predictor of success.

I suspect that women can get away with being obnoxious a lot more because they tend to carry less real capability to cause hurt, whether it be in terms of physical confrontation or general socioeconomic influence.

And, hey, when it comes to bitchiness, tits and arse cover a multitude of sins, right?



Karma's a motherfucker, though.

[nadroj]

So how did the challenge go?

[NZsarge]

In my experience, anyone who has to excuse themselves as 'feisty' tends, in reality, to be simply aggressive and unpleasant, and to lack the ability to empathise with and positively manage other people's emotions.

Men who have that particular issue end up in all sorts of trouble. Self-control is a key life skill and a general predictor of success.

I suspect that women can get away with being obnoxious a lot more because they tend to carry less real capability to cause hurt, whether it be in terms of physical confrontation or general socioeconomic influence.

And, hey, when it comes to bitchiness, tits and arse cover a multitude of sins, right?



Karma's a motherfucker, though.

+1........You took the words right out of my mouth!.............

[jrandom]

So how did the challenge go?

The candy-arse poof didn't show up! All talk and no walk. Obviously the good old days of Empire-building stiff upper lips have been long forgotten.

[Bikernereid]

Anyone who knows me knows that I am 'fiesty' but will give the shirt off my back and do anything for a friend if they need my help. Maybe people have different connotations of what fiesty means in the UK it is not a negative word.

As for women being fiesty and thier capability to cause hurt, have you not heard that the pen is mightier than the sword. So many of the people that are screwed up the most by their partners, family etc are the way they are because of what has been said to them and not what has been done to them. Words inflicted in the right way can scar for years, bruises heal a lot quicker.

Many of the most sucessful people are what would be diagnosed as psychopaths so I do not think that self-control is necessarily a good predictor of sucess.

And as for socioeconomic hurt well women are slowly creeps up the socioecomomin ladder and those of us who do not want a family but a career, we are growing in number will have more disposable income than those men who have to support a family and kids. So can have more of an impact at a fiscal level.

In my experience, anyone who has to excuse themselves as 'feisty' tends, in reality, to be simply aggressive and unpleasant, and to lack the ability to empathise with and positively manage other people's emotions.

Men who have that particular issue end up in all sorts of trouble. Self-control is a key life skill and a general predictor of success.

I suspect that women can get away with being obnoxious a lot more because they tend to carry less real capability to cause hurt, whether it be in terms of physical confrontation or general socioeconomic influence.

And, hey, when it comes to bitchiness, tits and arse cover a multitude of sins, right?



Karma's a motherfucker, though.

[Bikernereid]

You text me and I said I would be there but it took slightly longer to get back to Auckland than expected. But at the end of the day if you want to call me names and have a go at my heritage you do so. I am not proud especially proud of what had been done by my countrymen before me and especially not in NZ!! And I have been called far worse names when at high school so neh worries there.

[Blackbird]

What?
Jenny?
Surely you jest, Sir!

I jest not Ian. Perfectly charming but woe betide anyone when they step way out of line. Watch her take on a shop owner or anyone else who is either rude or fails to deliver in any significant respect. Very feminine but not afraid of standing her ground when required. Exactly the way it should be!

[nadroj]

but it took slightly longer to get back to Auckland than expected.

Was it the Hodah or did you get owned?

[Bikernereid]

My mother is one of the most determined women I have ever met but I think I get my stubborness/fiestyness from my dad. Good on your daughter, it is still a very predominantly male world out there and the more determined, educated and foward-looking women out there the better.

I think that if you are fiesty and female you get the reputation for being difficult and pushy yet if you are a man with the same temperament you are a go-getter etc. I still think we are very much dictated by gender stereotyping and that until women start having more of an imput at the higher levels of society things will not change very quickly. I am not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination but I believe that we should be able to compete on a level playing field and whoever is best for the job etc gets it.

Hi Lily

Was your mother fairly feisty? Our daughter is like you and certainly isn't a "girly" stereotype. She also has a tongue that will cut concrete at 50 paces - doesn't take prisoners if someone richly deserves a sharp retort . She's the spitting image of her mother in this respect and wondered if your Mum was the same. Of course, daughter inherited her love of cars and bikes from me, although her Mum does drive a MX5 with Mazdaspeed trick bits.

Geoff

[Bikernereid]

Very tired rider, getting OWNED and stopping for lunch etc!!

Was it the Hodah or did you get owned?

[Blackbird]

Maybe people have different connotations of what fiesty means in the UK it is not a negative word.

adj. feist·i·er, feist·i·est . Full of spirit or pluck; frisky or spunky.

[jrandom]

... have you not heard that the pen is mightier than the sword.

Not really, no. I'm a simple bugger, so if I don't like someone I just thump them. Coming up with something cutting to say is pretty hard work.

Many of the most sucessful people are what would be diagnosed as psychopaths so I do not think that self-control is necessarily a good predictor of sucess.

Pig's arse. They're not really psychopaths. Real 'psychopaths', as per, say, DSM-IV and the like, are completely dysfunctional. Careful with your labels, Miss Aspiring Head-Shrinker. The rich cunts you're talking about are usually just clever guys who have gotten over their risk-averse instincts, and who love their families and donate their surplus wealth to charity.

... those of us who do not want a family but a career, we are growing in number will have more disposable income than those men who have to support a family and kids. So can have more of an impact at a fiscal level.

Tell me about it!

[jrandom]

... at the end of the day if you want to call me names and have a go at my heritage you do so.

Awww, diddums. HTFU!

I am not proud especially proud of what had been done by my countrymen before me and especially not in NZ!!

The only major thing your countrymen did wrong in NZ was fail to send over enough soldiers to wipe out the annoying brown bastards who got here first.