The youth of today VS the grumpybums of yesterday...

[Number One]

Now, Ok...who gives a toss about my Boohoo-poor-little-me story? Well actually my son does.
I have noticed that I will resort to sounding like my own parents in times of stress, and in today's society, who doesn't?

Parenthood is by far the most challenging thing that I have ever been given to do. If anything, the attitude of my parents has given me (I believe) a clearer perspective of what I do not want to do...and allows me to temper the impatient reactions and needs to reject my own offspring in favour of other daily tasks which just cry out for em to do them on a daily basis. In the long run, they are not important, he is.

mmmhmmm - always a juggling act and your kids ain't the ball ya wanna drop! Thankful for the awareness and intelligence to use and apply my individual approach...not that I get it right all the time but at least I try

[Blue Velvet]

not that I get it right all the time

I think you and C do an oarsome job. HP is a very cool kid.

at least this is alot better than talking about grass not growing, or how your cat might be a bi-sexual?

I realised when I got to work that I'd put my knickers on inside out.

[007XX]

Oh crikey.

Ive had alot of discussions with people who have kids about what it is like to bring them up in todays society. It is different being a child today than it was when I was a little one. Today children are given 'stuff' its easy to walk into a $2 shop or the warehouse and buy them whatever they like, young kids are given cellphones and tvs. In my day, we had one tiny little shop in town that sold toys and they were expensive, we went there just to look at stuff. Infact I had to wait until I was 21 before I got my first barbie doll... (sad, but true). Kids get used to getting stuff, parents buy them stuff because they want them to have what they didnt have as children. We want our children to be happy, but we have to give the emotional tools to make themselves happy, and you cant find happiness in 'stuff'. This can lead to children being spoilt, and selfish I think.

God... I love my children but I am not one of those 'coffee morning mums'. I couldnt stand going to these little groups where mothers would try to out dress each others child in the latest pumpkin patch clothing. These mums parade their children around... making them look like little adults.

Children get bored easily, they need to entertained with video games or tv or the latest transformer. I spent hours outside on my own (3 way older brothers who refused to play with me) making mud pies ... now a days parents wouldnt want their children to muck up the lawn. I encourage my children to get dirty, infact if it rains tonight (which I hope it does) I am going to make them run outside in it. I am not saying all parents are like this, but I think some children are turning into takers... they have no idea that that 'stuff' that they are given should be earned, not just handed to them.

The thing is though: don't you think it is up to the parent to say that no matter the environment, they are going to raise their children with the right values, no matter what?

Saying that today's society is at fault is a cope out...Sure my son had his time asking for toys all the time, sure he was drooling at the mouth when out in Shopping Malls and asked for the toys, but did I give in? No...The fact is, we've never had a big garden to play in, nor enough money (when it was just him and I) to buy expensive toys. And honnestly, I often felt like the worst mother on Earth for having to tell him I couldn't affort that toy or whatever, but now, I can see he appreciates things for their true valor and he is only 10.

Now, a lot of people observing me and my son say i am a tough mother. And yes, I'll admit that I am. But I always try to be fair. My son does have toys, but from and early age (about 7 from memory), he started doing jobs around the house to earn any toys (apart for birthday and Xmas of course).
A week ago, I told him that if he was to save enough for one day on the mountain snowboarding (his new passion), I'd buy him the second day. Now, he is bugging me every five minutes for a job...

And he plays on our Xbox only maybe once a month if that, because he loves spending time with 007XY (stepdad) on Halo...that's their father/son time and that's cool, but they also fish, fly kites and ride bikes together.

Education nowadays is what we consciously make it, even though the outside factors are maybe less favorable than they might have been in the past.

Anyway, my 0.02 cents...I'll go back into my cave now

[Pwalo]

You guys (non-gender specific) take life far too seriously. People complain about the youth of today, just like the parents of the people of today complained about the youth of their day, just like the grandparents.........

Must be a bugger to feel that old.

[sugilite:Me]

Well, the whole lay of the land has changed for children since, erm our day!

I've got four kids, and for the first time in 7 years, one of them has a male teacher at the primary/intermediate level. No male teachers is a bigger problem than many may think, esp with so many single parent families about now, no male role models n that.

Advertising - todays kids are absolutely bombarded with what they need to be cool and "in" with the cool crowd. They are also sexualising the advertising and porn clips, opps I mean music video clips. I don't believe kids are getting a childhood these days with all this shit in their faces. 12 is the new 17 etc, etc. I took my kids out the rat race for a rural lifestyle and schools that don't have bloody 'P' dealers at the gates. And yes, my kids really are having a real childhood. My step daughter tells me my oldest son is the most innocent 16 year old she has seen, and she says it like it is a bad thing and secretly plots behind my back to corrupt him, but she is to late, he has a mind of his own and makes his own choices, drugs and alcohol do not get a look in, he is to busy doing other cool things of his choosing. He is a primo role model for his younger brother both academically and morally. My two girls were spitfires (mini mums lol) and my own Mother was forever at me to "reign" them in. I didn't and the eldest is such a delight and what a sense of humour! she is a really good girl and the other one is also slowly coming out of the spitfire stage

It's hard bringing up kids to be balanced, you have to give then enough freedom to make their own mistakes/minds up about things while still protecting their safety. It's a minefield out there, but it's not impossible to come out of it with balanced loving children

[Number One]

You guys (non-gender specific) take life far too seriously. People complain about the youth of today, just like the parents of the people of today complained about the youth of their day, just like the grandparents.........

Actually dude if you read the actual posts the issue we are discussing isn't about 'the kids' it's about adult attitudes towards the kids as a byproduct of their own upbringings.

[Trudes]

I'm a little confused about what this is all about, but as a woman who has no interest in being a 'parent' myself, I think I have a pretty good insight into kids, parents and family dynamics after 10 years of nannying and helping to raise countless children, and I always find it amusing when I get asked a child related question by parents, only to have it dismissed because "what would you know, you're not a parent", when the answer doesn't match what they've been doing! I have not given birth, so that somehow makes my views on child raising less valid.. hmmmmm.
Anyway.... I don't really have a point, except that Lissa's right, "you can't buy your children's love and they won't respect you for being a push over either" (words straight out of the mouth of the 10 year old I care for).

[Blue Velvet]

You guys take life far too seriously...complain...old

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Meh. You won't even ride Makara Road FFS.

[Number One]

I'm a little confused about what this is all about, but as a woman who has no interest in being a 'parent' myself, I think I have a pretty good insight into kids, parents and family dynamics after 10 years of nannying and helping to raise countless children, and I always find it amusing when I get asked a child related question by parents, only to have it dismissed because "what would you know, you're not a parent", when the answer doesn't match what they've been doing! I have not given birth, so that somehow makes my views on child raising less valid.. hmmmmm.
Anyway.... I don't really have a point, except that Lissa's right, "you can't buy your children's love and they won't respect you for being a push over either" (words straight out of the mouth of the 10 year old I care for).

Ha haa...I've met some of those parents I would think 10 years experience would count for quite a bit actually, but then I'm not a 'complete' twat. The discussion is a musing on why you might be dis-interested or otherwise in having kids...do you think it has anything to do with the adult attitudes in your life as a kid...if you have kids do you find yourself reacting in ways that you know are just learned...etc etc AND anything else that gets in there too. I am also kinda interested in thoughts around whether in general people are less tolerant of kids and what the result of this might be down the track....what kind of people and parents are we all having a hand in creating? Keeping in mind that life is not a vacuum and we do all in small ways impact on others.

[Coyote]

Nyah nyah, I'm 18 now, I'm not a kid anymore, you can't complain about me

They are moving to start teaching empathy and compassion in the school curriculum.

Really? Must say it's been long overdue. Instead they've been teaching economics, which is like anti-empathy/compassion.

As having just grown up with the latest batch of adults, I do not have high hopes for this world.

[Number One]

Nyah nyah, I'm 18 now, I'm not a kid anymore, you can't complain about me .

Yes, yes we can...you are still a teenager! Ha ha...just kidding - unless you do something naughty and then I'll mean it

Really? Must say it's been long overdue. Instead they've been teaching economics, which is like anti-empathy/compassion.

As having just grown up with the latest batch of adults, I do not have high hopes for this world.

So do you think that us old bastard adults have had any affect on your batch? And by old bastard adults I don't just mean parents....what about old bastard adults in general and their attitude towards pre-adults.

[Pwalo]

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Meh. You won't even ride Makara Road FFS.

I did. I hated it. I used to love it when I was a young whipper snapper. Actually it's a bit like this thread.

And most of my sons' friends are pretty decent sorts. And I still don't understand why people seem to need to worry sooooo much about the youth of today. They were bad enough in my day.

[Coyote]

So do you think that us old bastard adults have had any affect on your batch? And by old bastard adults I don't just mean parents....what about old bastard adults in general and their attitude towards pre-adults.

In recent times the trend has turned away from 'you've done something bad so you will be punished' to 'my child is far to precious to be punished, how dare you punish them!'.

Adults nowadays want to be their child's best friend rather than their disciplinarian because they remember how much they hated their parents for 'being so mean'.

Now we have a bunch of adults that think the world owes them, with no morals. Their goals in life are for the idiots; cultivate and live off the dole and for the people who did well in school; go to business school and learn how to become a CEO, kissing arse and trampling those in their way.

Very generalised of course. But since the world is full of sheep, being general tends to cover the vast majority.

[Trudes]

Fooo bro, that's a lot to think about!!
I constantly get hassled about when our kids are going to be born by family members, but was definitely raised in a authoritative household, respect your elders was the biggest thing, was also raised in the country and so always had things to do outside and chores.
I guess two things that have influenced my not wanting kids is that my mum left when I was 12 and I spent two years being "mum" and housewife in the house, so I almost feel like I've done that shit and also the nanny jobs stop any maternal urges. Also my hubby doesn't want kids, and I ain't having kids with someone who doesn't want them.
I think people are not as hard on their kids these days and think people and society are more tolerant of children and their needs, however the spoiled kid thing is definitely a major issue these days and I attribute a lot of this to parents being afraid to say no to their kids in-case they no longer like them any more (???, good god, my mum said no constantly, can't say I liked it, but I got over it and love and respect her more than if I'd been given everything!), and due to guilt, especially working parents (esp mums), give the kids whatever they want because they feel guilty about not being with them all the time, so toys and shit is a substitute for time and attention.
I'm sure my upbringing has a lot to do with my views on kids and parenting, and often hear my mum's voice coming out of my mouth when I am talking to the critters I look after, however, I do think I am more tolerant of them (maybe because I am being paid to be), and I also don't yell and smack like my parents did (again, maybe because I'm not allowed to).
Does that answer your question?? Buggered if I know, I still believe parents should have to do classes and be given a license to have kids!

[Number One]

I did. I hated it. I used to love it when I was a young whipper snapper. Actually it's a bit like this thread.

And most of my sons' friends are pretty decent sorts. And I still don't understand why people seem to need to worry sooooo much about the youth of today. They were bad enough in my day.

Maybe I'm being too subtle. Not worrying about the kids. This is about the adults and their attitudes towards kids and how those seem to have been shaped and whether adults are leaving room for kids to be kids so they can develop and mature fully in the face of a technology riddled, time poor, media soaked, image conscious society, full of disinterested, intolerant and at times abrasive kiljoy adults.