Mental health or just sick?

[James Deuce]

Nah, dont. Its exactly the small minded replies that highlights some of the issues surrounding people with these *sort* of problems. It also highlights how peoples lies or even their problems can affect sooo many people without even realising it!

One of the things that has become clear during my time on KB is that when the chips are really down, no one gives a shit. In fact if it isn't fixable with a hug or a beer, most people run screaming in the other direction.

Thankfully, there are always special people who rise above it, but they are so few and far between that one wonders how they stay sane in amongst the "general populace" who only piss on people once the fire has gone out so that the uric acid in their wee will really make the poor burned bastard on the ground writhe in even more agony.

Another general aphorism: If you don't want to be kicked when you are down, don't tell people who don't give a fuck, even if they appear concerned. Your pain is just tasty gossip.

[ManDownUnder]

two sides to every (EVERY) story and until I know her side of it I'll reserve judgement.

[jrandom]

One of the things that has become clear during my time on KB is that when the chips are really down, no one gives a shit.

Big difference between the circumstances of life causing a person hardship, and a person making other people's lives difficult due to being fucked in the head, dude. Don't equate the two.

Now, when it comes to the insane women this thread was started about, I hope as much as any of you that she gets the medical attention she needs.

Which would come at about $80 an hour for therapy, and several hundred a month in PHARMAC psych-med subsidies.

And good luck, for that matter, to the very-well-paid degree-laden professionals who get to administer that treatment.

You and I, though? Best thing we can do is smile sweetly and run a mile.

Note the 'smile sweetly' part, by the way. I don't advocate being horrid to anyone with 'issues'.

Neither, however, do I advocate gilding the turd of their dysfunctionality.

[jrandom]

two sides to every (EVERY) story and until I know her side of it I'll reserve judgement.

She said she was pregnant.

She wasn't, and knew it.

Where's the 'side'?

[Number One]

If you don't want to be kicked when you are down, don't tell people who don't give a fuck, even if they appear concerned. Your pain is just tasty gossip.

The real difficulty lies in recognising these people before you spill your beans.

Sometimes too those that do give a shit and are genuinely concerned can not do much except to be there and buy a beer or give a hug...there are times when I could do with that beer and that hug and I can't and won't assume that all who I might open up to enough for them to learn something painful about me are going to find it tasty gossip and if they do - fuck em, they don't really count anyway.

[Deano]

Fuck it. This thread was not started in order to pass judgement on the woman concerned.

It is a shocking story that affected a lot of people in one way or another. Whether she actually has mental health issues or made up the story in a self serving way, who knows.

But, (and I'm not saying that this is the case in this instance) but where does the line get drawn between taking responsibility for your actions and blaming your actions on your state of mind at the time ?

Do you think if I was having a bad day, and possibly suffering from anxiety or depression, is it ok for me to smash someone in the head who pisses me off ?
Do you think if many of us went to a shrink we would end up being diagnosed with some bloody disorder or another ? Shrinks seem pretty quick to put a label on things these days.

Who is to say to what degree my mental health was at the time ? It is still not justified to smack someone is it ? I know people who have used mental health as an excuse for their actions.

To some degree I believe it is another example of this 'faultless society'. I'm not to blame because...blah blah.

Call me heartless or not understanding. I don't care. I know people with mental health issues and do not treat them any differently. Rant over.

[ManDownUnder]

She said she was pregnant.

She wasn't, and knew it.

Where's the 'side'?

"why did she do it - what was her intended payoff"? <=== Right there.

[Usarka]

Chicks!

Whaddya gonna do?

Can't live with 'em.

Cant live with em, and cant throw them out of a helicopter.


......well....not unless you want a life long prison sentence........

[Number One]

Crikey!

Men!!! Can't live with em, can't shoot em

[Kittyhawk]

Well I went to the moon and back

wont make judgement otherwise id be judging on someone elses judgement that aint me.

[scumdog]

I agree.
. What irks me is people who ask for advice and then don't take it and then are on your doorstep in 2 months time telling you all about their latest drama that sounds very much like the last one. :

So true - it sounds like a lot of my 'clients', very frustrating and very sad.

[Donor]

Ah, TradeMe message boards, a plethora of urban legends and tales of bloated woe...

Had to stop posting there, neither of my kids were ADD ADHD KFC WINZ or ACC enough...

...or was it because I used lots of sweary words? I dunno, one of those things...

[imdying]

I would say that this poor woman is in desperate need of help.
She needs understanding, not contempt.

As you well know, I'll rip on anyone... race, where they live, what they ride, colour of their hair... you name it, I'll take the mick out of it, but +1 on that.

[Stickchick]

I have personally been involved in such a circumstance, the fact that this person looked pregnant etc to find out that there was no baby was a shock to all that knew her.

Why she did it, no one knows. But her mind basically told her body that she was carrying a baby and then the body reacted just so. when she was in labour, she took herself to the hospital and her partner only found out 4 hours later that she was there. Docs told us that "phantom pregnancy" happen more often than people know about. Especially in someone that has a mental illness. She is a manic depressive and has been since the age of 13 after being abused. She then hooks up with a drop kick of a guy, she find him cheating on her and next thing you know she is pregnant. Whether she lost it before and just kept the facade up we still don't know. She, shortly after finding out she was so called pregnant, got together with a fantastic guy that worshipped the ground she walked on. Maybe she was wanting the family life she never had?

However, to this day her family and myself do not mention that there was no baby, she even had a name and keeps saying that Kayla was a stillborn. She is now back in therapy due to unrelated issues but hopefully this will make her a little bit better. The family and myself have always been there for her and watched her on the days we thought that she was suicidal...there has been a few. Unfortunately I'm no longer in Wellington to look out for her but we talk regularly and sounds like the therapy is working.

The point of my post though, is that this is quite common, for reasons as to hang on to someone, get them to change their mind about relationships, or just to have something in their lives that they never had (close knit family full of love). For whatever reason, friends and family should be there to support them no matter what. No matter what shocking behaviour is portrayed by such person, there is always good reason (well to them) behind it.

[Ms Piggy]

Then again, some people thrive on drama and cannot be helped. What irks me is people who ask for advice and then don't take it and then are on your doorstep in 2 months time telling you all about their latest drama that sounds very much like the last one.

So true - it sounds like a lot of my 'clients', very frustrating and very sad.

Ditto.

My theory (so far) is that most people's actions, be it positive or negative, are based on an attempt to meet a need. Simple example: I am hungry, I'll buy food. Another persons hunger may lead to them stealing food/robbing a bank/mugging someone.

I realise of course there are always millions of complicating factors that come into play. Life and behaviour isn't quite this simple or black and white (shades of grey a lot of the time).

But my theory has helped me to understand why the world can be pretty fucked up at times and why people are 'economical with the truth' (I like that phrase!), usually it's to get a need met.