Would you shag someone else's partner?

[Tank]

Classic example, person A has no capacity for sex for whatever reason, medication supressing libido, mental illness, physical disfunction, and the lack of sex is causing hell to the marriage for person B (person A's significant other)

So - does person B break up with person A in order to actually seek out a happy future, or do they honor their committment to person A and make the relationship all it can be, all the while fulfilling their physical needs elsewhere. In which case the only way to maintain the integrity of the relationship is to keep any extramarital gene swapping a secret.

Person A find out and goes troppo. Speaks to person C and gives their side of the story. Person C could quite reasonably arrive at an understanding person A was wronged, despite the fact Person B was actually attempting to do something to preserve what's left of the relationship.

Couldnt person B just have a good ol wank?

[jrandom]

That is not the same thing as saying I'd happily tap somebody's girlfriend should the opportunity arise.

No, you'd only do it in certain circumstances. That's already established. You seem to be getting prematurely defensive - nobody, myself included, has actually attacked your position yet!

The fact that you are happy to throw absolutes around in the way that you do suggest that you are not enough at ease with yourself to consider the subject with an open mind...

Kindly leave the ad hominem stuff out... it does tend to indicate that you've run out of good points to make, y'know.



Nothing wrong with absolutes when they're clearly defined. One could generalise this poll even further, into a simple question of whether, having full knowledge of the situation, we would feel comfortable facilitating dishonest behaviour by others.

It's a clear and simple definition.

Abandon thy weasel words, sir, and either show precisely how the definition fails to capture certain potential circumstances, or STFU.

Asserting that something is invalid due to insufficient subtlety does not make it so. You must give proof by example.

[jrandom]

Classic example, person A has no capacity for sex for whatever reason, medication supressing libido, mental illness, physical disfunction, and the lack of sex is causing hell to the marriage for person B (person A's significant other)

An excellent example, and a good litmus test as to the nature of one's ethics - does one value an idealised standard of honesty above the pragmatism of the prostate?

Personally, I'd doubt that Person B would be able to maintain their emotional bond with Person A while engaged in what started as a purely physical relationship with Person C, with the most likely outcome being an eventual split.

It's easy to throw the concepts around in discussion, but the implementation thereof is oft bedeviled by unexpected consequences.

[Tank]

You seem to be getting prematurely defensive -

In a thread about shagging could you please refrain from using the "P" word,

[ManDownUnder]

Personally, I'd doubt that Person B would be able to maintain their emotional bond with Person A while engaged in what started as a purely physical relationship with Person C, with the most likely outcome being an eventual split.

The classic scenario is that the emotional bond between A and B is probably not sustainable well before the decision is made to involve a 3rd party. I fogot the word for it but there's a certain amount of frustration that needs to build up (like a "cognitive inertia") in order for the frustrated party to overcome those moral hurdles the first time.

As with all moral challenges, the 2nd incidence of the same thing is much more easily engaged in because it's not as novel, there's relatively little "incremental guilt" and it's familiar territory.

Like steal food to fee the family. It would pang the conscience, but the first time would be the worst, and for those brought up on a strict moral code the level of hunger would need to be higher to trigger that first incident than for anyone growing up under more fluid guidlenes regarding the spontaneous acquisition of property

[ManDownUnder]

In a thread about shagging could you please refrain from using the "P" word,

You're right - it did come out a bit soon

*BOOM TISH!*

[Mikkel]

No, you'd only do it in certain circumstances. That's already established. You seem to be getting prematurely defensive - nobody, myself included, has actually attacked your position yet!

Of course not, you're still hoping that I shall spill the beans make myself an easy target... are you not?

However, considering the discussion so far I think I shall hold those cards close to my chest for a while longer. I'm afraid you'd be terribly disappointed anyway - which way is hard to say though.

Nothing wrong with absolutes when they're clearly defined. One could generalise this poll even further, into a simple question of whether, having full knowledge of the situation, we would feel comfortable facilitating dishonest behaviour by others.

It's a clear and simple definition.

It's getting a bit clearer what you mean - if you look below there are still a few things that need clarification IMHO:

Let's say you're personally unattached, suffering from chronic blue balls (or the feminine equivalent) and a married (or otherwise 'officially committed') person of the appropriate gender whom you find attractive offers you a go.

Do you:

A. Happily proceed with getting your rocks off, reasoning that you can offload moral responsibility onto the 'taken' individual - after all, you owe nothing to their cheated-upon partner, and whatever shit goes down in that relationship is none of your concern, or

B. Refuse in horror on the basis that you do not wish to be any sort of accomplice in such dastardly carryings-on, even if nobody whom you made a promise to is getting screwed over?

My objection is that there are plenty of other options than A. and B. I fail to see how I need to provide proof that it is indeed so.
Furthermore, you are clearly passing moral judgment upon the person being queried, the options are worded in a way that is intended to induce a feeling of right and wrong. You have an agenda here I believe.

Besides - the question in the thread topic is 'Would you shag someone else's partner?' which is not the same as if 'we would feel comfortable facilitating dishonest behaviour by others'.

Abandon thy weasel words, sir,... or STFU.

Asserting that something is invalid ... does not make it so. You must give proof ...

Ditto. But substitute invalid for wrong...

[nodrog:Me]

fuck as usual a simple question is being over analised, lets make it simpler -

the hot MILF from nextdoor comes over and wants you to pound her senseless, you know she is married. do you oblige?

tick a fucken box.

[CookMySock]

Couldnt person B just have a good ol wank?

LMAO!!!!

edit:

DB

[kiwifruit]

Gordie is onto it

Now, bring on the "Would you bin someone else's bike" thread / poll

[ManDownUnder]

My objection is that there are plenty of other options than A. and B. I fail to see how I need to provide proof that it is indeed so.

Genuine question - can you provide a couple of examples? I'm curious to see which directions you are thinking.

[Mikkel]

Couldnt person B just have a good ol wank?

B could possibly do that.

What if A wanted B to have something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A loved B on a level higher than selfishness)
What if A wanted to watch B having something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A does not fit the social norm)

[ManDownUnder]

fuck as usual a simple question is being over analised, lets make it simpler -

the hot MILF from nextdoor comes over and wants you to pound her senseless, you know she is married. do you oblige?

tick a fucken box.

LOL.... no. Assuming I was personally in a position to do so, that would not happen until I understood WHY she wanted it, and determined the implications/fallout of it happening and going wrong.

[nodrog:Me]

Now, bring on the "Would you bin someone else's bike" thread / poll

only if person "A" was stable in the emotional status, and person "B" was in tune with the lunar solaris aurora, and blah, blah, blah.

it also depends on if peanut butter was involed?

and does the position of the breakfast ceral count?

[jrandom]

What if A wanted B to have something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A loved B on a level higher than selfishness)
What if A wanted to watch B having something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A does not fit the social norm)

Those examples have nothing to do with this thread and its poll.

'tain't 'cheating' if the 'other party' gives consent. Duh! Consent means it's all on, baby!