One for the girls

[_Shrek_]

The why's of men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they pulgged into a genius)

2. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE 1 EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

3. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)

4. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at coctail parties)

5. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

6. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILT SEAT DOWN?
(don't know... it never happened)

7. WHY DON'T MEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

[Mrs Busa Pete]

The bling came from Mrs Busa Pete.

[sosman]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous.................Slept with all your mates
Athletic......................................No t*ts
Average looking...............Has a face like an a*se
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Feminist.........................................F at
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former sl*t
Fun..........................................Annoy ing
Gentle..........................................Du ll
New-Age............................Body hair problems
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate..............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.......................................Depress ive
Professional....................................B* tch
Romantic.......................................Fri gid
Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
Large lady.................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
Widow.........................................Murd erer



WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

[_Shrek_]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

sosman this was not a thread to women with, it was for them to have a at us & for those of us who can handle laughing at ourselves

[rat biker 08]

LOL very good