The Eukanuba Diet

[Clockwork]

I was buying a large bag of Eukanuba dog food at Pack 'n' Save and standing in a queue at the check-out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Eukanuba Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 22 kilos before I awoke in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that all you do is load your pockets with Eukanuba nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. And I told her that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that by now, practically everyone in the queue was enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in hospital in that condition because I'd been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow... why else would I buy dog food?

[portokiwi]

That was good made this rainy day

[skelstar]

Thats quick thinking. Theres a lot of merit in dead-pan humor I reckon.

Green for you.

[firefighter]

hahaha, i'll remember that one (I may steal it if needed! )

[megageoff76]

When I once went to the supermarket to buy my cat a stack of those whiskers single serve sachets, the checkout said "Wow, your cat must be really hungry.."

I said, Naa im just sick of two minute noodles.

[bully]

yer, great story, i was told by a guy, he went to a party wear you take a plate he sofend up some tux biscuits in milk i think, put some sugar on top, and put the plate down for all, they where all gone at the end of the night.

[Skyryder]

yer, great story, i was told by a guy, he went to a party wear you take a plate he sofend up some tux biscuits in milk i think, put some sugar on top, and put the plate down for all, they where all gone at the end of the night.

That one had me howling or should I say boweling


Skyyrder

[White trash]

When I once went to the supermarket to buy my cat a stack of those whiskers single serve sachets, the checkout said "Wow, your cat must be really hungry.."

I said, Naa im just sick of two minute noodles.

Yeah, but you're a funny cunt like that. Most of us lack the wit unfortunately.

[megageoff76]

Heh heh, ta mate.

Your not too bad yourself, if you take your mind back a few years to MacDonalds. I'll give you some sauce...