Little lost lonely lad walks home from school looking at the cracks in the pavement, dreading the 15 minute trudge up the hill.
Big brothers mate screeches to a halt by my side on some big black gnarly British loud monster bike. Picture Lord flashheart from Blackadder here.... "Oi you, littlest Homo, jump up here ya limp dick, I'll make a man of ya, woof!"
"Ok mister" up on the back and off we go, a flurry of long blonde hair whipping my face, clutching on to the leather and chain demon rider, the burnt oil smell, the exhaust noise, the cold cold wind, people and houses just whiz by my eyes.
All of two minutes later atop the hill, " Enjoy that monkey minge boy? you know ya did! Now get the f#ck off me bike and get a life! Catch ya later rectum kid" Roars of in a cloud of smoke and ear shattering howl.
Now I ask ya, what chance did I have, I was about 6 or7, the most amazing thing that ever happened to this kid, hooked for life man.
P.s I left my satchel at the bottom of the hill so I had to walk it twice that day but what did I care, I had day dreams to create!![]()
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