Sex - or no sex?

[Goblin]

... if I'd gone to all the trouble of making him put a ring on my finger...

Yup...can see you're going to do well in the relationship game.

[Her_C4]

Geez as if anyone couldn't guess what my thoughts on this would be...I mean I am so clearly 'all about sex'.

As Fire eyes has said - I also would NOT willingly choose a sexless relationship and couldn't imgaine a well rounded partnership without that intimacy.

What if this were a different world and #1 was a virgin and veeeeeery naive (a stretch I know - but give it a go ) and you DIDN'T know before you married - how would you react?

I'd agree with what's been said so far.

I mean okay, I'm 17, not exactly looking at a serious relationship, but long term and thinking for the future - I know that I love closeness, and if it were a relationship that I wanted to last, I would want the intimacy of sex.

An affair could be an answer, but that would either not fulfil it for me out of the fact that I'd probably only do it for sex which just doesn't seem right to me (I think that I'd just feel bad afterwards, even if hypothesised husband encouraged it) or I would get far too attached to Mr Affair, and leave the first guy for him - which I would also not want to happen, because if I'd gone to all the trouble of making him put a ring on my finger I sure as hell wouldn't want to simply throw away what otherwise might be an amazing relationship.

17? sigh - you spring chicken you awesome answer - there is no really 'one size fits all' response I guess you are saying?

[Her_C4]

Yup...can see you're going to do well in the relationship game.

Ha ha ha - missed that one

What about you Goblin? What would your reaction be to the situation? Would you feel that general intimacy was enough?

[Mom]

I would expect that prior to making a lifetime commitment to him the subject of children/sex/beliefs/interests would have been discussed, and some common ground established and agreements made. Unlikely I would agree to a sexless marriage, therefore if I did not know I was marrying a bloke that had no interest in sex, he lied to me by ommission I would be very angry and the relationship would be over in a flash.

[fire eyes]

I would expect that prior to making a lifetime commitment to him the subject of children/sex/beliefs/interests would have been discussed, and some common ground established and agreements made. Unlikely I would agree to a sexless marriage, therefore if I did not know I was marrying a bloke that had no interest in sex, he lied to me by ommission I would be very angry and the relationship would be over in a flash.

well said Mom!

[Her_C4]

I would expect that prior to making a lifetime commitment to him the subject of children/sex/beliefs/interests would have been discussed, and some common ground established and agreements made. Unlikely I would agree to a sexless marriage, therefore if I did not know I was marrying a bloke that had no interest in sex, he lied to me by ommission I would be very angry and the relationship would be over in a flash.

Yes - the reality of course would be very much that the conversation would have been had, I guess I was using my overactive imagination in the 'what if' stakes

[Goblin]

Ha ha ha - missed that one

What about you Goblin? What would your reaction be to the situation? Would you feel that general intimacy was enough?

Well I would never be in that situation because I'm a 'Try before you buy' kinda person. If my partner was ever unable to....umm....perform, we wouldn't go without. There's a lot more to sex than just penetration.

[Livvy]

Yup...can see you're going to do well in the relationship game.

Awww, thank you.

17? sigh - you spring chicken you awesome answer - there is no really 'one size fits all' response I guess you are saying?

Basically. I guess there must be some people out there who'd take the marriage and say well, I love them, they're my best friend, okay, well, I'll either live without or get "permission" for an affair. If he's asexual, let's be honest, he probably won't care. But, in saying that;

I would expect that prior to making a lifetime commitment to him the subject of children/sex/beliefs/interests would have been discussed, and some common ground established and agreements made. Unlikely I would agree to a sexless marriage, therefore if I did not know I was marrying a bloke that had no interest in sex, he lied to me by ommission I would be very angry and the relationship would be over in a flash.

Mom states something I didn't even think of. Sure there's shotgun weddings occasionally but not so much these days, and if you've got two braincells to rub together I'd really hope people talk honestly about these things before getting married.

[Goblin]

Awww, thank you.

Mom states something I didn't even think of. Sure there's shotgun weddings occasionally but not so much these days, and if you've got two braincells to rub together I'd really hope people talk honestly about these things before getting married.

Awww you're welcome.

If it were a shotgun wedding you'd know there's been some sexual contact.

[Coyote]

ROCK THE CASBAH!!!

My 2 cents

[Livvy]

Awww you're welcome.

If it were a shotgun wedding you'd know there's been some sexual contact.

Too damn true.

[SixPackBack]

Geez as if anyone couldn't guess what my thoughts on this would be...I mean I am so clearly 'all about sex'.

As Fire eyes has said - I also would NOT willingly choose a sexless relationship and couldn't imgaine a well rounded partnership without that intimacy.

Skinny partnerships are so much more satisfying

[enigma51]

A man that doesn't want sex "with a women" is gay ......... Ask any straight man if he wants sex with another man the answer is simple no ask him if he wants sex with a women then the answer is yes
no maybe
no later
no wait till we married crap

I want it NOW

[kiwifruit]

I'm happy to wait for marriage

[rustycharm]

GOOD Grief! This is a situation off television not real life (Or is it? - is it real to you?) but it did get me thinking - I know what I would do in response to the situation, but then we are all different so I wondered how would other chicks would handle it

I thought Naki Rats response was spot on ... you posed the question in a real world sense albeit modelled on what was happening on S St... There was a superb post earlier on about .... 'No good coming out of Shortland St' ... nice