Stereotype beer drinkers

**mark247** · 8th August 2008, 10:44

I randomly found this on the internet and though it was spot on. Worth the read. Add your own beer stereotypes if you please.

Beer and those who drink 'em
Jan 15, 2005
Author: Bruce Holloway

I was amused to read an email from a barman, who after years of research, drew a correlation between Kiwi stereotypes and their attraction to certain beer brands or styles.

Some of them are cruel _ but don't shoot me, I'm only the messenger here. For instance, if you are lacking even an ounce of personality or wear adidas clobber, chances are you drink Heineken.

And those of you who watch too much TV are apparently all Speight's drinkers. It gets worse.

Poncey gits with slutty girlfriends drink Corona (though sadly there is no hint on what the girlfriends consumed).

People who don't get out much ask for Waikato, but will always settle for Lion Red.

Cardigan-wearers drink Monteith's and middle-class urbanites go for Mac's Gold.

It's Tui or Export Gold for anyone at university, while tourists go for Speight's Old Dark.

The Corona observation was a truly inspired insight, but from my reading, many of the others appeal as marginal propositions at best. So, purely as an antidote to the community excesses of seasonal goodwill, I've compiled my own equally prejudiced list of beer demographics.

* Adolescents too young to get into pubs drink Ice beer. The saddest cases drink Black Ice.

* Used car salesmen drink Heineken.

* Sickness beneficiaries drink Ranfurly Draught.

* Techno-geeks, lawyers and politicians drink Steinlager.

* Rugby league and softball fans drink Lion Red, but would settle for Waikato.

* Gang members and bogans drink Waikato, but would settle for Lion Red.

* Anoraks and trainspotters drink Rheineck, with a touch of lemonade.

* People who go to the supermarket in bare feet drink DB Double Brown.

* Petrolheads with unnecessarily noisy 1300cc cars drink Foster's.

* Pipe smokers and men with greying beards drink Guinness.

* People trying really hard to impress drink Stella Artois.

* Less astute people trying really hard to impress drink Flame beer.

* Farmers, and people who don't know any better, drink DB Draught or Lion Brown.

* Tomboys drink Export Gold, usually straight from the bottle.

* People who don't like the taste of beer drink Monteith's Summer Ale.

* Women who are "up for it" drink Crown lager.

* Radio Pacific listeners drink anything, as long as it comes in a flagon.

* Bargain hunters drink Tuborg.

* Eden Park cricket fans drink Export Gold because they have no bloody choice.

* Journalists drink anything if it's free.

* Does anyone drink Mac's Gold?

Found at http://www.realbeer.co.nz/alefiles/b...02_28_4650.php

**eliot-ness** · 8th August 2008, 10:50

Tight bastards like me drink whatever's the cheapest at the supermarket. The upside is that when the kids and grandkids call in they've learned to bring their own and I can bludge a few of theirs.

**Dooly** · 8th August 2008, 11:00

Is the lite version of Corona, a Corolla?

**Big Dave** · 8th August 2008, 11:05

Bikers drink Bourbon. Double in a tall glass, thanks.

**Trudes** · 8th August 2008, 11:05

I like Speights, but will go a Crown Larger when in Aussie.

**MisterD** · 8th August 2008, 11:10

People who know what beer is supposed to taste like drink Brewjolais.

**avgas** · 8th August 2008, 11:15

Originally Posted by mark247

Poncey gits with slutty girlfriends drink Corona (though sadly there is no hint on what the girlfriends consumed).

* Does anyone drink Mac's Gold?

I can answer the Corona thing - Corona has the longest neck, so it reaches the deepest point (hence the slutty GF)........the rest of that story is far to over 18 for some here, and far to under 40 for the rest of you swingers.

I used to drink Mac's Gold - but then they sold out.

Now i drink my lovely Japanese Sapporo - brewed and shipped straight from Canada???