When is it too soon?

**jrandom** · 12th August 2008, 21:01

IMHO, what we really need before this discussion can progress properly is photographs of Lonely_wolf.

Preferably in a bikini.

On a bike.

Oh, and Lonely_wolf - stop being such a limpdick (figuratively speaking) about all this shit. Just get on with your life. Plenty of cocks and wallets out there; sounds like you just picked a bad pair to start with.

[YOUTUBE]iTW8oUV8Aq0[/YOUTUBE]

**Dave-** · 12th August 2008, 21:07

7 pages in 4 hours?

not bad.

date when you feel comfortable, fuck the ex, its his problem.

as for the ladder theory you do all realise its a joke right?

**Trudes** · 12th August 2008, 21:08

I was thinking more in this direction.....

**jrandom** · 12th August 2008, 21:09

Originally Posted by Dave-

as for the ladder theory you do all realise its a joke right?

Fuck off, it's deadly serious and 100% accurate.

**Lonely_wolf** · 12th August 2008, 21:28

Originally Posted by jrandom

IMHO, what we really need before this discussion can progress properly is photographs of Lonely_wolf.

Preferably in a bikini.

On a bike.

Oh, and Lonely_wolf - stop being such a limpdick (figuratively speaking) about all this shit. Just get on with your life. Plenty of cocks and wallets out there; sounds like you just picked a bad pair to start with.

Lol, you seem to have forgotten that there is already a guy that I have set my sights on.
Yes, you are tight about the last part, I seem to be good at choosing the bad ones

**chanceyy** · 12th August 2008, 21:42

Originally Posted by Lonely_wolf

there is already a guy that I have set my sights on.

and you wonder why he has backed off ??

**Sanx** · 13th August 2008, 00:26

Originally Posted by Dave-

fuck the ex

I think our little wolf may be trying to avoid that.

**candor** · 13th August 2008, 01:17

You have been in a domesticly violent relationship - the emotional side is often the most damaging and you seem unaware of how this might mean a need for recovery time or looking at your blind spots - like how you clicked with a bad egg. Who still seems to seek unwanted contact. Pulling back at 19 to see why you had a big V (victim) sign flashing on your forehead at 19 could save a lot of future mistakes.

Violence plus cyberstalking to manipulate the prey

- if the IP numbers track back to Mr X a Judge could well grant you a non molestation order to keep the obsessor away . Controlling plus violent equals serious risk not "flattery" or just nuisance value.

The saddest website to my knowledge was this one by a dom violence survivor made before she was horribly stalked to her death - it is not a remote scenario... someone has to make up the everyday headlines
http://www.angelfire.com/nj3/stoptheviolence/index.html

Homicides start out with unconscious bad choices of sexual partners. I'd suggest counselling with a qualified dom violence person or at least time out awhile. Maybe read Lundy Bancroft or check out some of the support sites for people ex abusive relationships - and if you do, keep the support anonymous and online only as predators use victim support sites as hunting grounds for "their type".

If the ex is reading here - there are places you can get help - with moving on / letting go, or if wanted with the abusive tendencies. The evidence they're there in you is strong based on the final physical violence that's alleged.
Not letting people decide their own view of events, trying to control their social life, trying to direct their thoughts repeatedly in one particular direction (as ?done on this thread while ignoring their expressed feelings) is uncool to max as well as behaviour unlikely to ever get you a satis relationship for you or a partner in future.

**Gremlin** · 13th August 2008, 04:53

alright, I read 60 posts, cbf reading the rest, I'll just chip in... if its been said... oh well, repeating things can help

1, you certainly sound mature for being 19
2, shooter's identity is in doubt, regardless, having known a friend who was in an abusive relationship, do not go back. Guys like those will tell you they will change, but normally, do not, or, not permanently. Perhaps things change for a month or two. You should never accept violence, make it a deal breaker.

Now, we all know that females are way more complex than males... so bear in mind this comes from a guy... I like honesty, and being truthful... why not just talk to the other guy you mentioned, if you are interested... saves a lot of effort and game playing, which the other side may not even have any clue of (this is personal experience... apparently I am completely blind to these fucken "signals").

Female side, things like, bounce back relationship and your emotional/mental state may be factors... Perhaps I generalise, but guys normally forget things quickly, move on. What you don't want is bring your bad experiences into a brand new relationship, and ruining it.

That said, everybody is unique, you know yourself best, just do what you think is right. Its your life, so live it your way.

**sinfull** · 13th August 2008, 08:53

Originally Posted by Dave-

as for the ladder theory you do all realise its a joke right?

Originally Posted by jrandom

Fuck off, it's deadly serious and 100% accurate.

Read the Ladder theory a few years back and like JR says, It's fockin dead on the button !
Seen it a dozen times with mates over the years and "so called" mates, who tried swinging from one ladder to the other, when my ex and i looked to be in trouble !
Fools are still lost to the abissssss !

**alanzs** · 13th August 2008, 11:41

Originally Posted by candor

You have been in a domesticly violent relationship - the emotional side is often the most damaging and you seem unaware of how this might mean a need for recovery time or looking at your blind spots - like how you clicked with a bad egg. Who still seems to seek unwanted contact. Pulling back at 19 to see why you had a big V (victim) sign flashing on your forehead at 19 could save a lot of future mistakes.

Violence plus cyberstalking to manipulate the prey

- if the IP numbers track back to Mr X a Judge could well grant you a non molestation order to keep the obsessor away . Controlling plus violent equals serious risk not "flattery" or just nuisance value.

The saddest website to my knowledge was this one by a dom violence survivor made before she was horribly stalked to her death - it is not a remote scenario... someone has to make up the everyday headlines
http://www.angelfire.com/nj3/stoptheviolence/index.html

Homicides start out with unconscious bad choices of sexual partners. I'd suggest counselling with a qualified dom violence person or at least time out awhile. Maybe read Lundy Bancroft or check out some of the support sites for people ex abusive relationships - and if you do, keep the support anonymous and online only as predators use victim support sites as hunting grounds for "their type".

If the ex is reading here - there are places you can get help - with moving on / letting go, or if wanted with the abusive tendencies. The evidence they're there in you is strong based on the final physical violence that's alleged.
Not letting people decide their own view of events, trying to control their social life, trying to direct their thoughts repeatedly in one particular direction (as ?done on this thread while ignoring their expressed feelings) is uncool to max as well as behaviour unlikely to ever get you a satis relationship for you or a partner in future.

EXCELLENT ADVICE - READ THIS AGAIN, AND AGAIN. DO SOMETHING TO FIX YOU, OR YOU WILL REPEAT THE SAME BEHAVIOUR OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

**jrandom** · 13th August 2008, 12:07

Originally Posted by candor

Homicides start out with unconscious bad choices of sexual partners.

+1.

I won't YELL my response like alanzs just did, but this is very, very true.

Far too many women are completely limp and naive about this stuff, and wander through life letting complete arseholes make use of them because they don't realise that things can and should be better than that.

Hopefully Lonely_wolf will wise up and grow up in short order (without turning into a crass, up-herself bitch, which seems to be what happens when women over-react and err in the other direction).