Road rage, retards, funny faces, and tinted windows.

**madbikeboy** · 14th October 2008, 12:45

Dennis Leary, poet, humanitarian, and comedian once wrote a song called "I'm an Asshole" - there's this part that described me on the drive into work this morning:

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, While handicapped people, Make handicapped faces

I'm an asshole, (he's an asshole, what an asshole), I'm an asshole, (he's a real f**king asshole)

Okay, so this does have a point, and I'll get to that point, and when I do, I want that sound track running through your minds - hum it if it helps.

So, for the second time in as many weeks, I needed to drive the cage. Driving is a poor description, what I did was sit. In neat rows. Raging inside my car each time a bike roared past. Swearing. Not the bike, but me. I was swearing like a truck driver, or a sailor, or that kid with Tourettes that you went to school with. I mean, little things were setting me off - the fact that the traffic wasn't moving, the lame assed teenager who was so drug addled that me getting out of the car and inviting him into the gap before my car didn't make him understand, the fact that when Leighton borrowed my car, he didn't return the detach face for the radio and my iPod is out of juice, and the fact that I couldn't wheelstand or just squeeze through that gap.

So, being hysterically bored and borderline suicidal, I resorted to pulling funny faces at the people in the cars beside me. I have dark and borderline illegal tinted windows, so, that seemed like a really good idea.

Now, cue the music, "Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces, While handicapped people, Make handicapped faces".

The point is, that it would have been better, if, in my haste to make the world better by pulling faces at all the beautiful people stuck in traffic with me; if I had of just remembered to roll the window up first...

**MIXONE** · 14th October 2008, 12:49

Thanks for that.I needed a laugh.

**Trumpess** · 14th October 2008, 13:01

never a dull moment

**Okey Dokey** · 14th October 2008, 13:31

Ha ha ha- too funny!

**madbikeboy** · 14th October 2008, 16:29

This level of stupidity is a gift, really, I couldn't do it on natural talent alone. It's amazing I ever got laid given my ability for this sort of shit...

**Mom** · 14th October 2008, 16:39

Originally Posted by madbikeboy

This level of stupidity is a gift, really, I couldn't do it on natural talent alone. It's amazing I ever got laid given my ability for this sort of shit...

No mate you are not alone in your special talent I can assure you of that

I have a couple of beauties I have done in recent times that are noteworthy in the cringe/amusement factor. Both in Wellington as it happens, something in the water down there I guess.

First was Easter weekend, we were down for the Rock2Wgtn concerts. The kendogs very kindly hosted a BBQ Sunday afternoon so we could meet a few of the Welly crowd. We got the train up to their stop. Trudes txt me (we had never met) telling me she was wearing a blue t-shirt, I knew she was blonde so easy as, look for a blonde with a blue t-shirt

Get off the train, spot the target, walk up and give her a big hug! Then this funny feeling, umm she is not responding as I expect. Look around for Maha, he is off to one side pissing himself, I had just hugged a random stranger

Second was just last month, we came to Welly for a family funeral. We arranged to meet Number One at the cafe at the Wellington Library, got there a bit early so decided to go in for a looksee. There was a music section, so we went there. As we went to leave we had to go through an electronic security exit with a bar affair stopping you doing a runner. I walked up to it, nothing happened. I stepped away and approached again, it stayed closed. Finally I turn to the chick at the desk along side and ask how to get out. She informs me I need to "push" the barrier

There are others but I tell you, you are not alone

**madbikeboy** · 14th October 2008, 16:53

Originally Posted by Mom

Look around for Maha, he is off to one side pissing himself, I had just hugged a random stranger

I just pissed myself laughing. Nice one Mom.

**MIXONE** · 14th October 2008, 16:53

Originally Posted by madbikeboy

This level of stupidity is a gift, really, I couldn't do it on natural talent alone. It's amazing I ever got laid given my ability for this sort of shit...

Laid!You've been laid?
This thread is useless without pics!!!