How not to vote this election

[Indiana_Jones]

-Indy

[riffer]

Well done there young fella.

The facial hair's coming along nicely too.

[Indiana_Jones]

Well done there young fella.

The facial hair's coming along nicely too.

The chops are friendly lol

-Indy

[Maha]

My vote goes too..........Lieutenant Pigeon.....

Mouldy Old Dough goes off!!!!!

[Coyote]

Brill'

Must spread rep.

Edit: Lookin' good too. Facial hair is awesome.

[oldrider]

I hope you are right too Indie! John.

[Indiana_Jones]

I hope you are right too Indie! John.

Me too lol

-Indy

[DMNTD:Me]

LMFTO!!!!!!!!!! The funniest post I've seen on this site for some time.

[Bass]

Did a search for this
Hope it's not a repost

John's Egg Business

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butches bell hadn't rung at all. When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.

To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Austin County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Vote carefully this year, the bells are not always audible.

[portokiwi]

Still dont know who to vote for....

[Freakshow]

So you are one of those weirdos who ticks backwards!!!

[slofox]

Still dont know who to vote for....

Don't vote for any of them - it only encourages them....yeah yeah, not original, I know....

[slofox]

Did a search for this
Hope it's not a repost

John's Egg Business

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butches bell hadn't rung at all. When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.

To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Austin County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Vote carefully this year, the bells are not always audible.

That, Bass, is one of the best little stories I have ever heard!!!! Green to you.