Sitting here of a sunny Saturday afternoon, sipping my beverage of choice, it strikes me that I almost never find professional bar staff, and certainly never private individuals, who know how to assemble it properly.
So, for posterity, I shall record the relevant information here. Take heed, y'all.
The Gin
Bombay Sapphire. There are other brands of 'gin', to be sure, but they all taste like something a Coronation Street actor pissed against a fence at 3am. Just get the Bombay and be done with it.
The Ice
Yes, you need ice. Gin, unlike peasant drinks such as vodka, does not live in the freezer. Bombay's delicate herbacious flavour cannot survive being reduced to ten below zero - a brief splash over ice cubes is appropriate, superconductor-level refrigeration is not.
The Tonic
If any brand other than Schweppes offers palatable tonic water, I have yet to hear of it. Production of a pussified version of the drink which originated in heathen climes as a means of protecting civilised folk against the ravages of malaria should indeed be entrusted only to the licencing of that bastion of Western civilisation, the Coca-Cola Company.
I, for one, welcome our new quinine-infused corporate overlords.
The Process
G&Ts are best served in tumblers, fatter than the tapering-down ones you normally find in bars. In fact, if you can find tumblers which taper toward the top, all the better.
Fill the glass one-third of the way up with ice cubes.
Cover those ice cubes with Bombay Sapphire, and then pour in a touch more.
You should now be looking at a glass which is about 45% full.
G&Ts are not rum and colas; a G&T is a strong drink, and the purpose of the gin is to soften and change the flavour of the tonic water, and vice versa. A 50-50 mix is not unheard of, although I aim for about 40% gin to 60% tonic.
Fill the glass to the brim with your tonic water, and consume immediately.
Citrus twists
Lemons and limes are for squeezing over salads, not adulterating perfectly good gin with. Leave the fruit in the fruit-bowl, and your taste buds will thank you for not overcomplicating matters.
Food matches
What the fuck you on about, motherfucker? G&Ts don't go with food.
A G&T is the perfect apéritif, stimulating the appetite, cleansing the palate with its astringency, and loosening restraint with its hefty ethanol payload.
Get those G&Ts down your guests' throats before more substantial nourishment is even hinted at, and any social occasion will be a measurably greater success.
And, why, yes... I do believe I will have another one now.
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Originally Posted by jrandom
Rugby - A Hooligans Game played by Gentlemen. 
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