A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend,
> decided to
>
> take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded
> to have the
>
> time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
>
>
>
> He found himself on an island with no other people, no
> supplies,
>
> nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four
> months, he is
>
> lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he
> has ever
>
> seen rows up to the shore.
>
>
>
> In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How
> did you get
>
> here?' She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of
> the island. I
>
> landed here when my cruise ship sank.'
>
>
>
> 'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to
> have a row boat wash up
>
> with you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the
> woman. 'I made the boat out
>
> of raw material I found on the island. The oars were
> whittled from gum
>
> tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and
> the sides and
>
> stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.'
>
>
>
> 'But, where did you get the tools?'
>
>
>
> 'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman.
> 'On the south side of
>
> the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is
> exposed. I found
>
> if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it
> melted
>
> intoductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools
> to make
>
> the hardware..'
>
>
>
> The guy is stunned.
>
>
>
> 'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a
> few minutes of rowing,
>
> she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to
> shore, he
>
> nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading
> to an
>
> exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
>
>
>
> While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven
> hemp rope,
>
> the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk
> into the house,
>
> she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it
> home. Sit down,
>
> please.
>
> Would you like a drink?'
>
>
>
> 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed.
>
> 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.'
> 'It's not coconut
>
> juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would
> you like a
>
> Pina Colada?'
>
>
>
> Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts,
> and they sit
>
> down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their
> stories,
>
> the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into
> something more
>
> comfortable.
>
> Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor
> in the
>
> bathroom cabinet.'
>
>
>
> No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the
> bathroom. There,
>
> in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone.
> Two shells
>
> honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end
> inside a
>
> swivel mechanism.
>
>
>
> 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What
> next?'
>
>
>
> When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines,
>
> strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of
> gardenias. She
>
> beckons for him to sit down next to her.
>
>
>
> 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering
> closer to him, 'We've
>
> been out here for many months. You've been lonely.
>
> There's something I'm sure you really feel like
> doing right now,
>
> something you've been longing for?' She stares into
> his eyes ..
>
>
>
> He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his
> eyes.....
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
> .
>
>
>
> 'F*****g hell, don't tell me you've got Sky
> Sports?'
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Originally Posted by Marmoot
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