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Thread: Attack of the Kiddie Cagers...

  1. #1
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    Attack of the Kiddie Cagers...

    It’s been a while since I’ve had any fun and games on the road, even got to thinking that the biker gremlins were picking on someone else....until today.....

    5.00pm, Remmers Road, minding my own business taking it a bit steady as the drizzle was...well..drizzling I suppose....

    Anyroad upwards, car pulls alongside me with 4 spotty faced teens in it. Big guy driving, little bottle blond girlie in the passenger seat and two real ‘Emo’ types in the back looking bored and against it man.

    Driver leans out the window and starts taking the piss, usual stuff relating to my belly, L plate, parentage etc. I just laugh and carry on riding, nodding my head and waving as you do.

    I turn into a quiet little side street I use to cut out the lights at Ladies Mile, stop at the junction and see in my mirrors that the car has followed me. It pulls up alongside and I see the passenger girlie pull out a water pistol, lean out the window and fire two squirts at me, one hits my lid, the other goes way over my head.

    “Oh ha f*****g ha” I say but the car cannot move because we are both now at a junction waiting for a large removal truck to get out of the way. I kick the stand, hop off, walk over to the car and grab the pistol off the little twat and begin to squirt merrily away at them and their emo friends in the back....

    ...and they all go absolutely fecking mental. Passenger girl is screaming her head off, the driver is giving it “stop dude, that’s real bad”, emo girl has gone apeshit and dropped her ciggie down the front of emo boy who leaps out of the car and tries to catch the offending toke before it drops into his shorts and burns his gonads, I’m in total shock and do a Bruce Willis Movie (Armageddon......Armegeddon Outta Here).

    Shove the pistol into the top of my boot and whip crack away down Ladies Mile finally pulling up just before the main drag at Ellerlise.

    Then it hit me....”Clucking Bell, what the frick was in that Pistol".

    I take it out, have a look, squirt the last tiny drop onto a bit of paper in case it was frikken acid or something, then I take a wiff.....and would you Adam n Eve it, the water pistol was in fact a Piss Pistol.....yes, the dirty little bastards has filled it with willy water and thought it would be fun to go squirting it at someone...trouble is, they all got their own back I suppose.

    I biff the pistol in a rubbish bin outside the Eagles league ground, it didnt arf stink. Reckon mumsy had packed them extra aspragus sammies before they went a cruising tonite.

    Got home, missus gave the lid a good rub with some anti piss chemical, gloves now in the wash and boots hosed down and out.

    The car is grey Toyota station wagon, plate starts with a DFE I think. If you should see them, don’t forget to stop and take the piss.

    Reckon I’ll drink some piss now....

  2. #2
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    You really are some sort of trouble magnet, Max. If I ever come to Dorkland I'd appreciate it if you didn't ride near me.

    But , excellent attack on the dickheads in the car, big ups for that!
    it's not a bad thing till you throw a KLR into the mix.
    those cheap ass bitches can do anything with ductape.
    (PostalDave on ADVrider)

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by pete376403 View Post
    You really are some sort of trouble magnet, Max.
    That he is. Wait till he tells you the one about his road rage incident with the aliens when their flying saucer crash landed, cut in front of him without indicating then stuck things up his bottom when he knocked on their window. It's a corka!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Finn View Post
    That he is. Wait till he tells you the one about his road rage incident with the aliens when their flying saucer crash landed, cut in front of him without indicating then stuck things up his bottom when he knocked on their window. It's a corka!
    Nah, that was the missus...paid them aliens $1,000 to abduct her and they told me to get stuffed, said they wanted to trade her in fro 2 smaller ones...

  5. #5
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    good story, good laugh......frikkin little shits are always gonna be little shits!


  6. #6
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    You is a good story teller man. There's a comedian out there just waiting for material like this!!

  7. #7
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    willy water..

    nice
    Quote Originally Posted by sil3nt View Post
    Fkn crack up. Most awkward interviewee ever i reckon haha.

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    Jebus that is funny! Good on ya! I hope you and Gremlin never, ever come into close proximity of each other. Would mean the end of the universe as we know it
    "I like to ride anyplace, anywhere, any time, any way!"

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    ...even got to thinking that the biker gremlins were picking on someone else....until today.....
    Gremlin hereby denies all involvement in any activities... again...

    Love the story tho, may teach the little shits a lesson that all kids should learn (do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
    Quote Originally Posted by Jane Omorogbe from UK MSN on the KTM990SM
    It's barking mad and if it doesn't turn you into a complete loon within half an hour of cocking a leg over the lofty 875mm seat height, I'll eat my Arai.

  10. #10
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    Did anyone else reading that piss themselves?
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by MSTRS View Post
    Did anyone else reading that piss themselves?
    Have to Karma ... Justice catches up eventually !!

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    Hey Maxx you're not taking the piss are you?
    Never too old to Rock n Roll.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    I've got miserly tourettes and I don't give a fuck.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by MIXONE View Post
    Hey Maxx you're not taking the piss are you?
    That would be preferable to operating a vehicle whilst pissed....
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post

    The car is grey Toyota station wagon, plate starts with a DFE I think. If you should see them, don’t forget to stop and take the piss.

    Reckon I’ll drink some piss now....


    Kudos to you for another eventful story coupled with hilarious puns.
    What you have in your heart will be revealed through what you have in your life.

    If things are going badly in our circumstances, the answer to what is happening to us outwardly is more often than not found in the mirror.


  15. #15
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    Lol crack up

    -Indy
    Hey, kids! Captain Hero here with Getting Laid Tip 213 - The Backrub Buddy!

    Find a chick who’s just been dumped and comfort her by massaging her shoulders, and soon, she’ll be massaging your prostate.


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