In the male mind (barring grave illness that prevents the former) the two concepts are inseparable.Originally Posted by Trudes
e mare libertas
In the male mind (barring grave illness that prevents the former) the two concepts are inseparable.
kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
- mikey
Cogito ergo zoom
Yet the article Trudes referred to specifically said men DON"T have affairs for sex??? They just need reassurance that they are great?
Night rider
It is both. How do you seperate them? Sex without love is meaningless, as is love without sex.
Time to ride
e mare libertas
Not strictly correct. What I saw the article as trying to say was that, as I posted just above, for men, the concepts are inseparable.
Edit: Snap! Jantar's got the idea.
kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
- mikey
One, two free, floor!
I sincerely hope you are joking... or trolling...Rape? Your wife? Errr what? That's like your bike refusing you a ride... 'does not compute'
$2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details
Po ta toes
You may be surprised. It's very easy to slip into a routine and be so busy with your own things such as work that you can be living with someone (your spouse or significant other) and go days even weeks without really talking to them (pass the salt doesn't count).
If you work different hours or have stuff going on that makes it hard to spend quality time together, it's easy to end up living in a lonely relationship where you don't communicate. Often you don't even realise how little you talk until something happens to 'wake' you up and make you realise it's happened.
Everyone likes to feel appreciated and loved. I don't believe in "mothering" my husband or being his slave, but it's nice to let him know that he's loved and that I care for him, it makes him more attentive in the long run and then we both win... apparently men like to win.
The instructions are simple...
Definitely for the ego stroke. No man has ever forgotten what to do with their dominant hand, if it was just the need for 'release'.
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Forum whore
Oggi Tester
And of course we shall make no allowances for any of the following:
* Having children, and all the mental, physical, hormonal changes that take place there, not to mention the demands placed on the woman with regard to child-rearing, breastfeeding, getting up in the middle of the night etc etc. I could fill a page here, but you get the idea.
* Stresses of work.
* Financial stresses, worry about not being able to pay the mortgage or put food on the table.
* Husband allowing himself to become fat and unattractive.
My point is (and I do have one), is that women don't just decide they don't want sex anymore. Sex drive isn't just a switch you can turn on and off at will - it is up to both parties to find a way to make it work.
Jantar, I think you are being too simplistic and one-eyed in your assertions.
"I's no' a bobike (motorbike) - i's a scooter!" - MsKABC's son, aged 2 years.
Cogito ergo zoom
jrandom, I think we agree. There is a lot of "advice" to women in that article about making men feel loved. But it is only at the end that the topic of frequency of sex is mentioned as a reason for men to feel unappreciated. That is why I felt that all the make him feel valued stuff was so fake.
I guess while I felt that the article wasn't very clear, I haven't been too clear in expressing my thoughts either!
e mare libertas
Nah bro, it really happens. Probably never happens in your social class, though, so I'm not surprised you've never heard of it as an actual crime. But you've seen Once Were Warriors, surely?
I doubt you'd ever be charged with such a crime unless there was evidence of physical abuse, of course. But if your wife is bruised and battered and a medical examination shows signs of forced entry... you're a rapist, sunshine, and you goin-a jail.
kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
- mikey
Just faidin away!
Trudes,There was a similar thread about adultery a while back, but this is about why men specifically, cheat.
So I was watching Oprah the other day (yeah, ok, I had half an hour to kill so watched the first half of it, anyway) and she was talking to this guy who's done some research on men and why they cheat on their wives. The top reasons were because they felt under-appreciated, lonely and like they 'aren't winning' etc. Anyway, I thought it was quite interesting and thought I'd share it with the bitches social group, but then thought, hmmm, wonder what other KBers think about it. I can completely understand and have been making more of an effort to make my husband's sandwiches and tell him he's a winner. So have a read, there are several pages. I thought it was quite interesting to find out that the majority of men who cheat don't do it just because they are horn bags!
Men cheat because there is "some one" to cheat with, "why does everyone blame the MAN"
Just watch the monkeys at the zoo, we are primates, it's what we do!
Keep your eye's on the ball (no pun intended) and head him off at the pass! (Ooh, another one)Cheers, John.
Po ta toes
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Cogito ergo zoom
Hey, Trudes, I wasn't getting at you. It's the article that I think is misleading. I admit in my post I find it hard to imagine that a routine develops that allows you to neglect your spouse to the degree described.You may be surprised. It's very easy to slip into a routine and be so busy with your own things such as work that you can be living with someone (your spouse or significant other) and go days even weeks without really talking to them (pass the salt doesn't count).
If you work different hours or have stuff going on that makes it hard to spend quality time together, it's easy to end up living in a lonely relationship where you don't communicate. Often you don't even realise how little you talk until something happens to 'wake' you up and make you realise it's happened.
Everyone likes to feel appreciated and loved. I don't believe in "mothering" my husband or being his slave, but it's nice to let him know that he's loved and that I care for him, it makes him more attentive in the long run and then we both win... apparently men like to win.
I'ma get medieval on your ass!
A tad blunt but essentially correct.
Don't underrate the biological drive - it is fundamental and powerful. Men have the ability to spread their genes among a group of women over a lifetime. The more children you can father the better the chance of your genetic heiritage surviving. Plus you block out other men.
Women have a different imperative. Bearing a child requires an investment of energy and emotion plus about 10 years of commitment to protecting that child. A pregnant woman/woman with a young child is vulnerable so she instinctively seeks the security of one man to protect and provide.
If a woman freely gave her favours to all men, her mate wouldn't know who's child he was protecting......and he'd leave. The main reason for him to stay is to protect his child and if he can't be sure of that........gone.
To understand this - Evolutionary Psychology - you have to remember that for most of our 1.5 million years, we lived in tribes and our animal instincts were primary.
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