How to stop telemarketing phone calls?

**FJRider** · 7th April 2009, 14:42

Originally Posted by LBD

I don't get tele marketing calls....

PM me your number... I'll see its added to all data bases... for your convenience...

**slofox** · 7th April 2009, 15:17

I love to meddle with the telemarketers' heads...most of them seem to have a set script they try to adhere to. So I take every opportunity to derail their thought processes. Like asking for minutae of detail about what they are doing, where they are calling from, etc.

I had one today at work. From London (she said). So I asked what time it was there and what she was doing working at 1.00am in the morning?...."WHAT???" was her reply...

I also use the "cut to the chase" approach. Get them out of their set verbal routine and straight to the nitty gritty. In today's case it was "Just what is it your company does?" She said it was international banking etc. I then asked "What do you want from me? Tell me exactly what it is you hope to get from me and what I will get from you" She mumbled about investments in stocks...to which I replied "Sorry love, there's a recession on - haven't you heard? - and the bank owns my arse - I have no money to invest." She hung up straight away...

**BiK3RChiK** · 7th April 2009, 15:28

Beware of the scammers too... Oh, you've won a holiday, but all you have to do is give us your credit card details... blah, blah, blah :yeah, right!: tui anyone?

**Cajun** · 7th April 2009, 15:29

Originally Posted by BiK3RChiK

Beware of the scammers too... Oh, you've won a holiday, but all you have to do is give us your credit card details... blah, blah, blah :yeah, right!: tui anyone?

father in law fell in to that one, fucken idiot.

**Patch** · 7th April 2009, 15:44

probably blames that stupid son-in-law of his

**Beemer** · 7th April 2009, 17:32

Just put the phone down and walk away. After rabbiting on for ages without any response they usually get the message and hang up!

**skidMark** · 7th April 2009, 17:36

Originally Posted by malfunconz

yeh wait a minute ..... go back to repairing ya harley ....tehehe

That takes alot longer than a minute.

Unlike finn and sex.

**The Pastor** · 7th April 2009, 18:15

You HAVE to say "please remove my number from the generator." if you do not they wont. and you'll get called again.

**Molly** · 7th April 2009, 20:05

She just rang again... Sounds like the woman from the local dairy. Will pop round in the morning and tell her to cut it out or I'll nick all her crunchies.

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Thanks for all the replies though. Will do as you all suggest :-)

**BiK3RChiK** · 7th April 2009, 20:23

hang up on them

**Madmax** · 8th April 2009, 10:56

Tormenting Telmarketers: A Game You Can Play at Home!
Everyone has gotten a call from a Telemarketer. The new Scourge of the Telephone System. Previously when the phone rang, you always wondered if it was someone you knew, or another schmuck with something to sell. Well, the time has come to turn the tables. We need to take control of our own phones. We need to take the ``market'' out of Telemarketing.
Premise:
Telemarketers take the brute force approach to making sales. If you talk to a whole bunch of people, someone will buy what you are selling.

Counter-Tactic:
Waste as much of their time as you can. For each minute that you waste means several potential customers that will not be reached. Make Telemarketing unprofitable. Hanging up only increases the changes for them to make a sale. Don't let this happen!

Hints:
Most of the preliminary stuff is done by someone making minimum wage, and reads a script. Let them finish. It's easy points, and you were watching Star Trek and weren't using your phone anyway. It's easy to keep them interested using ``attentive grunting'', similar to when your mother calls.

Scoring:

Basic Point System:
For each minute spent on the phone 10 pts.
Getting transfered to someone who makes
more than minimum wage 15 pts
For each minute spent on the phone with
person making more than minimum wage 25 pts

Bonus Points:
Getting them to repeat part of the "script" 5 pts/each
Getting answers to stupid questions 15 pts/each
Changing the subject 50 pts/each
Making the sales person angry 175 pts
Making the sales person use profanity 750 pts
Get their boss on the phone, and tell them
the salesman used profanity 1500 pts
Getting their 1-800- number 10 pts
Posting their 1-800- number to alt.sex as
a free "Phone Sex" line 50 pts
Checking the number a week later and it is
busy or disconnected 5000 pts

Example:

Me: Yes?
Them: Hi, I'm with Fly-By-Night Carpet Cleaning
and we're in your area [...] [start clock->]
Them: [...] would like to know it you are interested?
Me: Sure...
Them: Well, we are currently offering [...]
Them: [...] depending on the size of the rooms.
Me: Well, how much for the whole house?
Them: Let me transfer you to [15 bonus pts!]
Them: Sir?
Me: Yes?
Them: How large is your house? [25 pts/min!]
Me: Oh, about 2,000 sqft.
Them: [...] Well, that would be about $xxx
Me: It won't hurt the floor, will it? [stupid ?]
Them: Oh, no! We use a [...this usually takes some time!...]
and is completely safe.
Me: Even with my pets? [stupid ?]
Them: Oh, yes. The chemicals we use [...]
Me: Do you have to pre-treat, since I have pets?
Them: Yes, and we do that with [...] [repeat!]
Me: But the original offer was for $39.95, does that
include treating for pets?
Them: [...]
Me: Well, it is kindof dirty. The guys were over for
the game. Did you see the Cowboys vs. the Rams?
[subject change]
Them: Yes.
Me: What a game! That last touchdown pass! Wasn't that
a great play?
Them: Well, back to your house...
Me: Oh yes, what about moving the furniture?
Them: [...]
Me: Do you clean furniture, too? Those guys spilled some
beer. Have you smelled old beer on furniture before?
But what a game, eh?! I couldn't believe that they
couldn't move the ball in the second quarter...
[...] [subject change]
Them: Ahem... Would you like us to come out? [angry???]
Me: Well, when could you come out?
Them: How about next week?
Me: Hmmm... Morning or afternoon?
Them: Either would be fine.
Me: Do you have anything the week after?
Them: Sure, can I put you down for Tuesday?

[Okay, let's try for those last big bonus points:]

Me: Well, I don't think it matters, since I have all
hardwood floors here!
Them: Dammit!

**Madmax** · 8th April 2009, 11:01

Some additional ``games'' one can play with telemarketers:

If you recognize they are telemarketers before you have spoken, pretend you are an answering machine with a message along these lines. ``Thank you for calling CMTCC, Citizens for Making Telemarketing a Capital Crime. We now have the support of about 25% of the legislature. Soon we will be able to execute those worthless, money grubbing dregs, making the earth a better place to live. Please send your tax deductible contribution to...''

See how many times you can put them on hold. First make sure you get the name of the person you are talking to, because sooner or later they will hang up. Then if they call you again, you can express your righteous indignation at being hung up on, and let them know you were going to buy/contribute, but given the rudeness of ... you have decided not to. They key to this one is make the time they have to hold fairly short. After 30 seconds or so tell them you have to turn down the stove and put them on hold for 45 secs. On returning, ask them to start their pitch again. Every time you return have them restart their pitch. Some good excuses for putting them on hold for a short while: the kids are fighting, the pet needs to go in/out, the baby is into ?, someone is at the door, you have a call on another line, ...

If you have an answering machine, turn it on so they can here you are recording the call. Make sure you get the person's name, and the company's name and address. Then inform them something like this. ``Under state law I am hereby notifying you that you (you as an individual and the company) are prohibited from calling this number (xxx-xxxx) to solicit ever again. If you or the company calls again, you personally and the company will be liable for penalties up to $10,000. Is this clear?'' Just something to hopefully make them nervous. (Actually Virginia came pretty close to passing a law like this. Unfortunately, the telemarketing lobby bribed our legislature into killing the bill. Maybe next year...)

After they have gone through their entire sales pitch, tell them how interested you are. But first, you want to talk to them about ... Then launch into a pitch for them to contribute to some charity that sounds quasi-legit but is really just for your personal benefit. If they do not contribute, then hang up in righteous indignation that they are such uncaring human beings. If they will, give then a address to send the contribution to, thank them, and hang up before they have a chance to change the subject back to what they called you about.

After they have given their entire sales pitch, say you are interested but first you need the telemarketer's personnel home phone number. When they ask why tell them that they have your personel home number so before you complete the deal, you want to be on even ground with them and you need their number. If they don't give it to you, yup, you guessed it, hangup in righteous indignation. If they do, say you will call back to order/contribute. Then do so at some reasonable hour, in case they have given you a phony number. But if it is a correct number, post it on the net. Not so anyone would harrass this person,

but so all of us would have the opportunity to contact this person about whatever it is that is being telemarketed. And since so many of us are night owls, we will be calling at a time convenient to us, like 4 am.

**Maki** · 8th April 2009, 11:27

I canceled my Amex credit card a while ago. The next day I got a call from them offering me an Amex gold card free for life. I told them to get stuffed and explained a few of the reasons why I don't like Amex. I don't recall any marketing calls since that happened.

If you have the time or inclination you can play the following little game with telemarketers. One of their tactics is to get you to respond with the word "yes" to something. Have a chat and try your best to avoid using that word. It can be amusing.

**Beemer** · 8th April 2009, 14:24

I just added my name, number and address to the do not call/mail links so hopefully that will stop the ones who ring just as you are preparing dinner or settling down to watch something on tv!

I must get a call a month from bloody Slingshot, despite telling them each time I am not interested.