A well to do business man is sitting in the foyer of his hotel. He listens to the lone piano player and admires the beautiful melodies eminating from the ivories. In fact he so taken by the music that he approaches the musician and says, " I say old chap, your music is really beautiful, but I must say I don't recognise any of the tunes, do you write them yourself? What's this one called for example?" "Why thank you", says the pianist, "Yes I do indeed compose them myself. This one's called "You make me so horny, I'd love to come all over your tits" "Oh!", says the man, "How interesting. Well, look, I'm having a wee function at my country house next month...I'd love you to come and play some background music. Would you do that for me?" The pianist agrees and a month later turns up at the gentleman's grand residence. The guests start arriving and the host mingles. Suddenly he becomes aware that the background music is absolutely dreadful... it was offkey...dischordant... and generally un-melodic. He storms up to the piano and says, " What on earth are you doing?? This is nothing like the music I heard you playing before. It really is an embarrassment." "I know...I know " says the pianist, "I'm really sorry. It's my fault entirely. I usually play better if I go and have a wank. Can you point me in the direction of the bathroom? The music will be fine afterwards I can assure you" Aghast, but with no alternative the gentleman agrees. Ten minutes later the musician is back at the piano playing the most gentle soothing tunes. Suddenly, an old lady notices him and in shock she goes up to him and says, "Excuse me Sir, do you know your flies are undone and you have spunk all down your trousers!!!"
The pianist looks at her and replies " Do I know it Madam? .. I wrote it !"
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Seen before, not sure where but I love it.
Originally Posted by ninjac
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