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Thread: Drunk tries to find Jesus

  1. #1
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    17th January 2005 - 10:54
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    Drunk tries to find Jesus

    A drunk is stumbling through the woods when he happens upon a preacher baptising folk in the river. He ambles down to the water's edge then trips and falls down before the holy man.

    Almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, the preacher pipes up: "Lord have mercy on your drunken soul, brother - are you ready to find Jesus?" Out of his skull, the drunk agrees: "Yes, I am!" he replies. And with that, the preacher grabs him and dunks him under the water.

    Moments later, he drags the boozer back up: "Brother, have you found Jesus?" "No, preacher," stammers the drunk, "I have not!". Stunned by this, the preacher sends the drunk down again... this time leaving him there a little longer.

    Shortly he drags him back up again: "Rid your soul of the poison, brother - have you found Jesus?" Gasping for air, the drunk splutters a reply: "No, preacher - I have not!" At his wit's end, the preacher sends the drunk down one last time.

    A full minute later, he pulls him out: "For the love of God," shouts the preacher, "tell me you've found Jesus!" Coughing his lungs up, the drunk wipes his eyes and turns to the preacher: "You sure this is where he fell in?"
    I ride the dirt, I ride the tide
    I search the outside, search inside
    I know I'll always burn to be
    Remind me of what left this outlaw torn
    ~ The Outlaw Torn (Metallica: Load 1996)


  2. #2
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    25th May 2004 - 23:04
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    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  3. #3
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    13th March 2003 - 11:47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beemer View Post
    Rightly so Mrs Sniper.
    Cheers

    Merv

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by merv View Post
    Rightly so Mrs Sniper.
    I'm flattered, Merv - but I don't imagine Sniper will be!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  5. #5
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    7th November 2004 - 11:00
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    Hmmm, my legacy lives on, I havent typed repost in a while
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper View Post
    Hmmm, my legacy lives on, I havent typed repost in a while
    We've noticed - I've been getting all the shit lately!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beemer View Post
    We've noticed - I've been getting all the shit lately!
    Its part of a larger plan......
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper View Post
    Its part of a larger plan......
    Mean bastard!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  9. #9
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    13th March 2003 - 11:47
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    Oh so you two do have something going on! Its Ok I won't tell Andy.
    Cheers

    Merv

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by merv View Post
    Oh so you two do have something going on! Its Ok I won't tell Andy.
    You'll keep, Merv - but not for long in the deep freeze!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

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