Smacking kids?

[James Deuce]

I'm with shafty.

it pays to think about poll questions a bit.

Wallop is too strong a word for a surprise tap with an open hand on a bottom that has turned off its reason centre.

Having said that, it is impossible to even raise your voice to a child in public without attracting a significant number of glares and the occasional intervention.

In my parent's day enough whacks with a strap to draw blood, or a cane for that matter, or maybe even a knife thrown at you was acceptable. In my day and open handed slap and some deafening shouting was the go.

Nowadays if you aren't wheedling and begging with your three year old you're a bad parent.

Kids aren't little adults. Their brains are missing bits, things that haven't joined up, and they haven't experienced enough physical and emotional pain to know that it is bad to dip your hand in the jar of Marmite you just heated in the microwave for 30 mins. I'd rather intervene and provide a scary memory than watch a child deglove a finger in a vat of superheated Marmite thanks. Wheedling doesn't teach right from wrong, any more than example does. teaching by example works from about 6 up IMO. Under that it's your job as a parent to scare kids out of being too stupid to stay alive.

[Motu]

Human rights,consumer rights,workers rights,womans rights,animal rights,the list goes on - but the last rights ever to be addressed will be childrens rights.

[James Deuce]

No one has any rights. Rights are an illusion to divert you from the serfdom that is your lot.

[boomer]

what a load of pc bollox

[Motoracer]

Alright alright, but back in thoes days there were people who thought gay people should be burnt alive, black people are only good for being slaves, the earth is flat not round etc etc.

Obviously I am exasurating but the times you guys are talking about "back in the days", are times when people weren't very open about a lot of things. Not a lot was discussed. Maybe it was discussed to your partner or someone very close but there was no open discussion in public. About issues such as kids and sex education.

Am I drifting a bit off topic here? No, I don't think so. The above are just examples of mine, in order to convay my opinion on how far we have come as society. All this in the time frame of 1 or 2 generations.

I know quite a few of you are upstanding members of society and very fine people in general. However, you can achive the same result or even better with alternate methods that have far better reasoning behind them than using brute force (Yes I am talking directly about smacking kids here).

Deano said it, watch the programs like them "Nanny" ones and you'll see the proof. I know smacking and the good old fashioned meathod of disiplin is easier and may seem more effective on the surface. However IMHO, you as an adult have the capacity to be better than that. You can use your experience and cunning ways of being a mature adult to mould your child's growing up process to help them become as good as they can be.

I am not a parent however so all this is my theory and opinion.

[98tls]

Human rights,consumer rights,workers rights,womans rights,animal rights,the list goes on - but the last rights ever to be addressed will be childrens rights.

theres still hope motu............"then over the hill came with chickens with guns "

[Macktheknife]

I got heaps of smacks as a kid, it never did me any harm and I don't believe that it would do any other kid any harm to recieve the same. In fact my observation is that some kids need that kind of communication to understand limits, there is no mistake about it. I do not condone or support the 'beating of children' under any circumstances but the no smacking idea is one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard.
And I think you mean 'chickens in choppers' (cows with guns song)

[0arbreaka]

In my opinion its a bunch of PC bullshit, I personally think that parents should have a right to smack their children as a form of punishment but only within reason, by saying this I mean just a propper smack, no punches, weapons etc etc.

[eviltwin]

Discipline and violence are not the same thing, the government can go fuck themselves... who the hell are they to tell me how to raise my kids.

A community cop once said to me, if you love your kids heaps, discipline them heaps.

Fundamentally the problem with violence in the family is nothing to do with discipline or smacking, it's to do with the total lack of love in that environment. Those so called parents who abuse their kids don't love their kids...they don't give a flying fuck about them! And I for one don't appreciate being put in the same basket as them by our yoghurt smoking government policy makers!

I smacked my kids because I wanted them to know instantly, in the moment...that whatever they did wrong was unexceptable behaviour by me, by the person that loved them the most...the person that cared about them the most.

For every action there is a reaction...simple!

My kids have never felt unloved, even if they did get the occasional kick up the arse!

A positive relationship combined with firm guidelines moulded my kids into caring, honest, respectful and happy young adults.

You can ask them if you don't believe me, I've got them tied up in the basement.[GVIDEO][/GVIDEO]

[James Deuce]

Alright alright, but back in thoes days there were people who thought gay people should be burnt alive, black people are only good for being slaves, the earth is flat not round etc etc.

Obviously I am exasurating but the times you guys are talking about "back in the days", are times when people weren't very open about a lot of things. Not a lot was discussed. Maybe it was discussed to your partner or someone very close but there was no open discussion in public. About issues such as kids and sex education.

Am I drifting a bit off topic here? No, I don't think so. The above are just examples of mine, in order to convay my opinion on how far we have come as society. All this in the time frame of 1 or 2 generations.

I know quite a few of you are upstanding members of society and very fine people in general. However, you can achive the same result or even better with alternate methods that have far better reasoning behind them than using brute force (Yes I am talking directly about smacking kids here).

Deano said it, watch the programs like them "Nanny" ones and you'll see the proof. I know smacking and the good old fashioned meathod of disiplin is easier and may seem more effective on the surface. However IMHO, you as an adult have the capacity to be better than that. You can use your experience and cunning ways of being a mature adult to mould your child's growing up process to help them become as good as they can be.

I am not a parent however so all this is my theory and opinion.

So just like Sue Bradford you're taking an admission of child smacking as a method of discipline as being the only method that a particular parent uses because they're obviously too stupid to use any other method.

You don;t have kids and your memories of being one are distorted beyond belief, by time, developmental changes in your brain and social interaction skills and expectations.

I can achieve more with three minutes time out for a three year old than I can with a tap, I said tap too, not a bashing with a cut down barrel stave or a jug cord, or a cinder block, a tap. A tap that you wouldn't feel through the back of your bike jacket. But the punishment needs to fit the crime, needs to be of consequence or it is pointless. Most of all it needs to fit the personality of the child and its developmental stage. A three year old is devastated by being removed from a social situation. They're wired to interact at a furious rate to learn the rules.

But a 6 year old will get a book off the shelf and read (once they have calmed down), again depending on the personality.

But sometimes that tap is EXACTLY what is need to break a cycle of behaviour that is spiralling out of control. Diversion doesn't work because it doesn't address the problem. You need to know what you did wrong so you can learn not to do it again. Under 5 children have no reason. The Dawn of reason is around four years old and it is limited by the child's experience.

What am I trying to say? That you and Sue Bradford and Helen Clark and every other fucker who thinks he can do it better than me can just shut the hell up.

It's none of your business, unless I invite you to help me raise my kids.

You've pigeon holed me me into a violent child basher. I'm fucking not.

I read child development books, parenting books, books specifically about raising boys, but most of all I look at people who raise successful children who are confident and engaging and ask questions and advice from those parents. Plus I'm not perfect. I get sick, my kids get sick, I get tired, I get emotional, and every other bloody human experience. Parents aren't machines who can be expected to replicate behaviours to a "T" every time, to get it right every time. But as long as the methodology is consistent, the child is addressed and respected as a person and included in the parent/child relationship, you will get great results.

[yungatart]

I got smacked by my parents, it probably explains a lot about me
My children got smacked too - all 6 of them. It was not the only discipline/punishment meted out in our house, nor was it used on a regular basis. Some of my kids got smacked more than others, because their personality type responded better to a tap on the backside or legs better than other measures in some circumstances.
I don't believe that a smack should make me into a criminal and I fail to see how making smacking illegal is actually going to do anything about the appalling rates of child abuse in NZ. Murder is illegal too, but it still happens.
BTW, if hXc steps out of line, I'm not averse to giving him a smack either, better do it quick, before he gets too much bigger than me.....

[Squeak the Rat]

The law is designed with the intention that the police don't enforce it for minor cases.

How fucked up is that?

[Finn]

Quote from Cyfswatch...

"Anonymous writes:

I have just viewed the interview on TV with Sue Bradford and her Bill to ban smacking.

She looked mentally ill and sounded delusional - her equating a rugby tackle with assault was an indication of just how unwell this woman really is.

Such a cognitive distortion is evidence of historical psychological trauma, most likely related to either sexual abuse or rape.

Sue sees no difference between a parent smacking their children, and the awful assaults that have been perpetuated on children that are now dead.

Since Sue cannot tell the difference, I would like the opportunity to drive my fist straight into her face as hard as I can, hopefully breaking her nose or jaw in the process. As she is lying on the ground, blood and mucous pouring profusely from her nose and mouth, I would then give her a light smack on her substantial arse, and ask her "Now Sue, is the difference a little more clearer to you?".

If ever someone needed a beating, it is this sociopathic witch.

She is projecting her own allergy to correction or any form of discipline onto the families of New Zealand, so that our kids can end up as sick as she is.

Bradford is a worthy candidate for NZ's first political assassination - I only wish I had the resources to do it."

We need to hear more voices like Mr Anonymous. You cannot change human behavior with laws. When will they ever learn this?

[spookytooth]

I was a little shit.So were my kids but behaved around around mum and dad .Why because we didnt want a sore ass.

[FROSTY:Me]

big problem is--those with the highest opinion of anti smacking--either arent parents yet--or have forgotten what its like to be a parent
Also MSS bradford is under the delusion that children are mini adults
-Does that mean I can send BB out to work now??