A man who knows his place

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

He writes:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who
cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto
the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is
window and gave the woman the finger.

" Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in
traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass
every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as
dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females
have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female
that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has
seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so!!

[placidfemme]

An oldie but a goodie

[Maha]

Yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh !!!!....fantastic, a man who knows the odds and aint willing to bet....

[PuppetMaster]

Five Rules to having a happy married life

· It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

· It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

· It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

· It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

· It's very, very important that these four women never meet one another.

[Jantar]

Five Rules to having a happy married life

· It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

· It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

· It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

· It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

· It's very, very important that these four women never meet one another.

So far only woman #1 and woman #4 have met.

[Kornholio]

Jesus, PMS is a killer on its own let alone combine it with other things dangerous.....

[shafty]

What colour is your pickup, BMW?

[Blackbird]

Sent to me by an American friend:

THE MAN WHO KNOWS HIS MATHS

He writes:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut
right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder
to avoid hitting her

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window
and gave the woman the finger. " Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to
myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work,

That's 96 miles each day,

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper,

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway,

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles,

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars,

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars,

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or
unrewarding,

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide©

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons
and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has
a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so.

[Beemer]

And that doesn't even take into account the plain old psychos!

[xwhatsit]

Lol that's good. I won't be a spoilsport and point out the obvious problems with the maths in that post, though

[Storm]

Nice Joys of commuting eh

[Mental Trousers]

And that doesn't even take into account the plain old psychos!

About 98% then??

[McDuck]

Being americans, 99%

[Donor]

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, And here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day..
Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I ride past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so...

[Number One]

Bahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that's right mother fucka!!! GiveME the finger will ya?