Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Ooh Nuh! can it be true.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    8th October 2006 - 20:21
    Bike
    Purple Vespa 250
    Location
    2nd Star right of Centre
    Posts
    125

    Smile Ooh Nuh! can it be true.

    HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES FROM EMERGENCY ROOMS AROUND THE COUNTRY:

    FEMALE SOFA -----A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva. eeewwwww.....
    PRICKLY PAIR -----OUCH! In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had "... a rat in her privates..." which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn, I don't think). After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
    PING PONG ANYONE ? ----- A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The concrete then hardened, (no shit Sherlock!), causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy - we live sheltered lives!)
    BLIND DRUNK ----- A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea. (Oh my gosh!!!)
    OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH ! ----- A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.
    And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!! Friendship is like peeing your pants....... Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth

    A condom is to keep ones Pipe clean.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    15th April 2005 - 15:45
    Bike
    1989ZXR400,GSX1100 & PW50
    Location
    Wgtn
    Posts
    1,066
    "CRINGE"
    Is all I can say
    "The road to Hell is really grippy with loads of run off & some wicked lefthanders"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    27th December 2005 - 00:03
    Bike
    2003 Suzuki Bandit 1200CC
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    347
    Gross. I don't mind leading a boring life after all!! lol
    Actions speak louder than words or good intentions

    He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating

  4. #4
    Join Date
    25th May 2004 - 23:04
    Bike
    1963 Ford Thunderbird
    Location
    Horowhenua
    Posts
    1,869
    Yuck, I hate the thought of contact lenses in the first place, but trying to remove your cornea? Yeeouch!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    18th December 2004 - 08:09
    Bike
    Triumph Tiger
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,086
    owoowowowowowowowowowow
    Bugger that is gonna hurt

    "If you can't laugh at yourself, you're just not paying attention!"
    "There is no limit to dumb."

    "Resolve to live with all your might while you do live, and as you shall wish you had done ten thousand years hence."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    31st March 2003 - 13:09
    Bike
    CBR1000RR
    Location
    Koomeeeooo
    Posts
    5,559
    Blog Entries
    9
    Quote Originally Posted by Macktheknife View Post
    owoowowowowowowowowowow
    Bugger that is gonna hurt
    Especially if you tried to shag the guy up the bum after the concrete set...
    $2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details

  7. #7
    Join Date
    18th December 2004 - 08:09
    Bike
    Triumph Tiger
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,086
    Quote Originally Posted by ManDownUnder View Post
    Especially if you tried to shag the guy up the bum after the concrete set...
    Even worse if it was before it set!

    "If you can't laugh at yourself, you're just not paying attention!"
    "There is no limit to dumb."

    "Resolve to live with all your might while you do live, and as you shall wish you had done ten thousand years hence."

  8. #8
    Join Date
    2nd December 2006 - 23:09
    Bike
    have to keep it in my gun safe.
    Location
    out of visual contact
    Posts
    358
    bring on the morphine.........
    Never let your enemy see your emotions, for it is the one weapon they will value most.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    18th June 2006 - 22:00
    Bike
    Corona GSXR 600
    Location
    Tauranga
    Posts
    329
    The last one, good thinking stab her in the head????????

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •