The Movie Review Thread [Archive] - Page 7

15th August 2015, 12:36

2 hours long BMW commercial starring Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg and a black guy.

Actually quite well made. Bonus points for having an awesome chase scene featuring the exact bike as I've got.

8.5/10
Did the black guy get shot? No sorry it wasn't filmed in USA.

The bike chase was good, the jump into the water hole was cool. The rest was average to below average compared to the other MI films. Needed more boobs too. If you were reborn as a spy it'll have to be James Bond since he gets all the gorgeous babes. Bonds girls would have to be some of the most beautiful creatures ever, too many to list.

Recorded MI Ghost Protocol the other day so must watch that soon. It was my pick of the series.

Akzle

28th August 2015, 17:05

yeah thanks pritch, but, err. kickass.to.

also, and i dont know how this movie has escaped my attention for 25 odd years, but Platoon. starring everyone who could have been in a movie in 1988. a tale of les vietnam *ahem* conflict. (not war, you understand, cos 'murca HOO RAH has never lost a war)

doesn't push an agenda. tells a story.
and fucken bill dafoe gets to do his favourite kneeling hands throw dramaticals.

well worth watching, and for something filmed in 1988 is very well done.

FlangMasterJ

28th August 2015, 17:27

A Brilliant Young Mind - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3149038/

Pretty much a British Good Will Hunting. I enjoyed it. Has the kid from The Boy in the Striped Pajamas who once again did a fantastic job.

8/10

FlangMasterJ

28th August 2015, 17:27

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDVtMYqUAyw

HenryDorsetCase

29th August 2015, 09:38

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDVtMYqUAyw

It doesnt matter how many times you watch it, or how much you want it to, IT WILL NEVER MAKE SENSE.

so so disappoint.

FlangMasterJ

29th August 2015, 11:46

It doesnt matter how many times you watch it, or how much you want it to, IT WILL NEVER MAKE SENSE.

so so disappoint.

It makes no sense to me posting it in this thread. Hahaha it was meant to go into the 'What are you listening to...' thread.

Tazz

29th August 2015, 12:08

The new Hitman movie ain't half bad for an action flick. Copious amounts of death, bullets and the usual baddies who are highly trained soldiers in everything but the ability to aim. Must have been sick that day.

Just watched Rendition last week too. Didn't have subtitles so I had no idea WTF was going on with that side of the story other than guess work, which kept it interesting :laugh:
The ending seemed a bit 'unfinished'. I like to think I don't need all the loose ends tied up to enjoy a movie, and a shit storm was implied right near the end, but it just felt a little 'incomplete' to me.
Other than that, great movie and interesting subject.

Akzle

29th August 2015, 12:13

Tazz

29th August 2015, 12:23

theres a new one? Saw one many whiles ago. Forgettable except for 4 way dual sword weilding fight.

This is just as forgettable, shallow story line, no swords and no stealth, but still, Hitman!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitman:_Agent_47

R650R

30th August 2015, 16:26

starring everyone who could have been in a movie in 1988. a tale of les vietnam *ahem* conflict. (not war, you understand, cos 'murca HOO RAH has never lost a war)

Your right in Vietnam never was a war, war was never declared. It was a CIA operation assisting and training rebels that kept on expanding, fuelled in part by the controversial Gulf of Tonkin incident...

Akzle

30th August 2015, 17:59

Watched this recently "Top Five" by Chris Rock. Pretty funny and slightly different. Its been slammed online as being homophobic just cause some of the white characters are bi or gay but its only a small aprt of the film and not a major in my view. Just activists trolling their views. Jerry Seinfeld does cameo appearance pity its not bit longer than losing his wallet to a stripper....

yup. loled. Heaps.
And far canal, could it have had any more famous-blacks-from-the-90s?

As to homophobia... Wtf?? It's like the people who bitch about the word nigger. Get a fucken hobby. That shit was hilarious.

I have absolutely no idea if the premise is supposed to be autobiographical or what. Its not exactly the kind of movie youd watch twice and borders on chick-flicky. However i dont want to kill myself, or anyone else after watching it. Except adam sandler. Fuck that jew. And as said, it's funny. So worth watching.

And dmx singing nat king cole.. Crackup. Probably quote of the movie "nigga shut the fuck up, im expressing myself"

R650R

30th August 2015, 23:09

. That shit was hilarious.

I have absolutely no idea if the premise is supposed to be autobiographical or what. Its not exactly the kind of movie youd watch twice and borders on chick-flicky. However i dont want to kill myself, or anyone else after watching it. Except adam sandler. Fuck that jew. And as said, it's funny. So worth watching.

You had to love the pimp/manager.... "I'm the MAN in Houston..." lol and him tag teaming the hoes in front of Chris in hotel room lol.
Yeah I think it was a bit Hunter Thompson style embellished autobiographical and a good poke at us whiteys at same time lol. Speaking of which I just seen to queer reviews slamming Fear and Loathing in LAs Vegas and also Rum Diary on iTunes, I'm going to buy Rum Diary even though I seen it at theatre just to write a good review!!!

Swoop

1st September 2015, 15:16

Sunshine Superman.

Part of the Indie film festival but now in (rare) independent cinemas.
Telling the story of Carl Boenish who was one of the fathers of BASE jumping. Extremely well documented visually since he was a cinematographer and with some of the most superb scenery sequences you are likely to find anywhere.
Pushing the boundaries of El Cap in Yosemite Nat Park, moving on to buildings and objects.

Thoroughly enjoyed it!

Akzle

9th September 2015, 21:56

kingsman

how has this NOT been mentioned??

fokken crackup shit oi. watch the fuck out of it if you know what's good for you.

Akzle

9th September 2015, 22:22

Just watched Rendition last week too. Didn't have subtitles so I had no idea WTF was going on with that side of the story other than guess work, which kept it interesting :laugh:

you dont speak arabic or french?

what a pussy.

HenryDorsetCase

9th September 2015, 22:54

kingsman

how has this NOT been mentioned??

fokken crackup shit oi. watch the fuck out of it if you know what's good for you.

I agree. I didnt go see it in the kinema because of reasons. Laziness I think. Predictable but enjoyable. I did like the suits. and shoes. and cars and gadgets.

mossy1200

10th September 2015, 20:59

kingsman

how has this NOT been mentioned??

fokken crackup shit oi. watch the fuck out of it if you know what's good for you.

Post 1483. Your a few pages late.

J.A.W.

10th September 2015, 21:14

Mandingo! Classic `70s grit.. see it, if you aint, elsen-wise - I'll tan yo-ask..

ledaero

11th September 2015, 13:19

Gyllenhaal is, as usual, impeccable. The film is shite. Miserable shite, at that.

I watched it, but felt miserable for doing so. Technically it was fine - great camera work, sound, lighting, makeup and wardrobe, even the script was fine, but it was still miserable shite.

I want to enjoy a film, not feel like I need a dose of lithium after watching one.

Akzle

11th September 2015, 17:44

Post 1483. Your a few pages late.

huh. Threadsearched and drew a blank. Too lazy to look. Did some cunt embed a jewtube?

Swoop

11th September 2015, 19:13

huh. Threadsearched and drew a blank. Too lazy to look. Did some cunt embed a jewtube?

Try this:
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/121109-The-Movie-Review-Thread?p=1130885702#post1130885702

Akzle

11th September 2015, 20:20

Try this:
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php/121109-The-Movie-Review-Thread?p=1130885702#post1130885702

i blame jews.

pete376403

11th September 2015, 23:15

John Wick - Keanu Reeves as an aggrieved hitman taking revenge on Russian mafia-type. High body count, no boobies at all, some car destruction.
Pretty OK

mashman

17th September 2015, 18:41

Pacific Rim 2 “Halted Indefinitely” (https://uk.movies.yahoo.com/post/129236752691/pacific-rim-2-halted-indefinitely)... bugga :crybaby:, the first movie was superb.

mossy1200

17th September 2015, 18:44

John Wick - Keanu Reeves as an aggrieved hitman taking revenge on Russian mafia-type. High body count, no boobies at all, some car destruction.
Pretty OK

Watched this also. I liked it 8/10

R650R

18th September 2015, 20:25

Yeah Kingsman mentioned way back, very good.

Aussie films are always good and this is awesome.
Pretty simple but great actors and film work. Kill me Three times

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eO3rYcSMCA

R650R

18th September 2015, 20:28

Into the Grizzly Maze

Pretty average although good watch, could have used billy Bob Thornton a bit more than they did....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7hIqnKsuQk

R650R

18th September 2015, 20:32

American Heist. Watched this after Tarantino praised it after his pretty actors rants in other films.
Feels pretty real and gritty, good watch, ends bit weirdly....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY_IOn0fsc0

pete376403

27th September 2015, 20:04

"we still kill the old way" a wee bit "harry brown-lite" but quite fun. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Still_Kill_the_Old_Way_(2014_film)

mashman

30th October 2015, 12:52

A trip to the back of the DVD closet et voila, Sneakers - 10/10. Still gotta be one of, if not, the best espionage movie ever.

R650R

30th October 2015, 16:26

'71 absolutely excellent thriller, fresh original and gritty. Very believeable.

Soldier gets cut off and ends up on the run in IRA territory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-BaKfl1Ms4

FlangMasterJ

31st October 2015, 16:27

Bone Tomahawk - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2494362/

I really enjoyed this. Kind of like a Western era The Hills Have Eyes. Some next level violence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZbwtHi-KSE

I also re-watched The Thing last night. That movie still holds up to this day. What was scary was how well the husky acted.

Akzle

2nd November 2015, 07:58

Mad Max: Fury Road

Intense! Just non-stop action for two hours. Explosions, wrecks, stabby bits, a dude shredding a flame throwing guitar and so on.

9/10

just watched. and yeah 8/10.

i felt stayed true to the original (s) in spirit, costume, vehiculars, characters.
pregnant women add nothing. neither does a minging ginga and some skinhead zombie unfulfilled romance. and if i put a bitch on rearguard and she lays down facing the wrong way, i'd fucken shoot her myself.

and why for fucksake are they wearing scanty white robe rags in the fuckin desert? never heard of skin cancer? sand in the vagina? not very fucking practical at any rate.

also not thrilled with the two stick flamethrower gat., i mean really, in a world supposedly short on fuel and you waste it just to be metal? that's the other thing. the soundtrack isn't heavy enough. i realise it's to suit mainstream, but fuck, death metal never hurt anyone, and orchestral shit? i realise it's a mainstay of cinema, and movies without "don't feel like movies" (how's that for conditioning, you sheeple) but this one could have happily done without it.

not a thinking movie, for sure. but a good one none the less, with a many, many cool vehicles.

managed to keep a pace that wasn't liek "yawn, another car going splodey" but wasn't liek "man, this needs more splodey cars"

also too much CGI, which is deffo not in the spirit of the originals. wreck shit you bitch ass producers.

watch? deffo.
watch twice..... not for a long while.

BSOD1000

2nd November 2015, 13:30

Do not watch Fantastic Four. IT IS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:

Akzle

2nd November 2015, 18:14

88 was not too bad, expected bit more after pretty good trailer though. Katharine Isabelle is a hottie though even if playing part of crazy killer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpSdhwGf578

yeeeeahhhh.

Rank it. The time dissonance creates a bit much repetition. The pissed camera guy thing still does nothing for me.
Very well played, well filmed, some gnarly lighting work. Neat characters.

Story is uninventive but the time shift gives it a bit of intrigue.

Id go 9/10.

-edits- also the no-fucks-given hottie.... mmmm the things i'd do to her...

bogan

3rd November 2015, 19:12

Rogue Nation, did nobody think of a plastic air cylinder?

Akzle

13th November 2015, 15:20

Aussie films are always good and this is awesome.
Pretty simple but great actors and film work. Kill me Three times

PSA:
most of the movie happens in the first 12 minutes, before the title.
you can safely skip the next hour without missing much, and slot back in to the closing scenes.

although nice that they cast a couple of hotties, could have done with more t&a.

film entirely lacks a genre. very fucking beige. weak attempts at humor fall flat on stupidity and beigery.

some gnarly gunshot wounds (3) but asides from that, it's lacking in.... everything.

5/10. wouldn't recommend.

FlangMasterJ

14th November 2015, 10:14

Not a movie but the second season of Fargo is brilliant so far. The first season was more black comedy the second is far darker. I rate it highly.

HenryDorsetCase

14th November 2015, 10:23

just watched. and yeah 8/10.

i felt stayed true to the original (s) in spirit, costume, vehiculars, characters.
pregnant women add nothing. neither does a minging ginga and some skinhead zombie unfulfilled romance. and if i put a bitch on rearguard and she lays down facing the wrong way, i'd fucken shoot her myself.

and why for fucksake are they wearing scanty white robe rags in the fuckin desert? never heard of skin cancer? sand in the vagina? not very fucking practical at any rate.

also not thrilled with the two stick flamethrower gat., i mean really, in a world supposedly short on fuel and you waste it just to be metal? that's the other thing. the soundtrack isn't heavy enough. i realise it's to suit mainstream, but fuck, death metal never hurt anyone, and orchestral shit? i realise it's a mainstay of cinema, and movies without "don't feel like movies" (how's that for conditioning, you sheeple) but this one could have happily done without it.

not a thinking movie, for sure. but a good one none the less, with a many, many cool vehicles.

managed to keep a pace that wasn't liek "yawn, another car going splodey" but wasn't liek "man, this needs more splodey cars"

also too much CGI, which is deffo not in the spirit of the originals. wreck shit you bitch ass producers.

watch? deffo.
watch twice..... not for a long while.

I think looking to MAD MAX for sense and/or sensibility is a reach too far. And check out some of the "how it was made" and stuff on the bluray. Most of those stunts that you think were CGI were people putting themselves in harms way. Not to the extent of the guerilla style of the first one (particularly) where they had no money, no unions and no clue, but they didnt spend nine months out in the desert doing nothing. Oh, and Charlize and Tom hated each other. Which kind of comes across right...?

Akzle

22nd November 2015, 18:50

Yeah Kingsman mentioned way back, very good.

Aussie films are always good and this is awesome.
Pretty simple but great actors and film work. Kill me Three times

from the same autoire:
Red Dog.
worth a watch. bitta lulz. lotta straya, some dog, some cat, some caravans, no t&a, one motorbike explosion and a honda.

anyone who has/had a dog would get a few "awwwwww"s out of it. anyone who knows strayaland would get some "ahhhhhhhh"s out of it.

7.5/10

HenryDorsetCase

23rd November 2015, 07:09

SPECTRE

............is too long by 30 minutes.

But they spent a LOT of money and they want to show you what they did. My favourite part is the barrel rolling helicopter, which also apparently can loop. And the DB10... very tasty.

Dave Bautista was a bit hard done by I thought, though it was ambiguous so he might be the next film's Jaws.

Bascially I am giving it 6/10 because I just didnt buy the villain or the premise, gory makeup notwithstanding.

Lea Seydoux was as good as can be expected of a Bond girl. Monica Bellucci deserved a bigger part.

It was OK and worth seeing on the big screen.

Crasherfromwayback

27th November 2015, 14:41

Bone Tomahawk -

Cheers for that mate. The Mrs and I both loved it. Some great one liners in there too...

Akzle

7th December 2015, 08:40

John Wick - Keanu Reeves as an aggrieved hitman taking revenge on Russian mafia-type. High body count, no boobies at all, some car destruction.
Pretty OK

deffo not a thinker.

can't get past http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/familyguy/images/a/a7/Keaunu_Reeves.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/300?cb=20090805130237him being described as a wooden actor

it's almost like he wrote the role for himself, he loves strapping on guns and shooting lots. and whoever tailored that suit for him eeds to be shot. and his beard looks gay.

some well choreographed CQ fights.

far too much of the "shoot him in the head when he's on the ground"

movie could have been a half hour shorter without missing anything.

some good cinematography as well

7/10. worth a watch once.

R650R

7th December 2015, 21:37

Akzle

13th December 2015, 11:44

Sniper: Legacy

shit acting of a shit script. shit storyline. shit half-assed use of semi-snipey related words and phrases.

pissed camera guy filming. srsly hollywood &co. fucking stop it.

mercifully short at 1.5hr

maybe 3 neat shootey scenes.

4/10

couldn't recommend anyone to watch, wouldn't watch again.

mashman

13th December 2015, 19:56

SPECTRE - Good old James and his Bondness doing what he does best. It was a good enough movie, but it was missing something that I can't quite put my finger on... so 8/10 from me.

HenryDorsetCase

13th December 2015, 21:20

Akzle

17th December 2015, 19:45

revisited a few

austin powers 1-3.
Still funny. Not my genre. 8/10. Mike myers did very well as 3 characters, knowing which, makes it more awesome.

The cell
still pretty fuken good, 9/10

<some missing >

watched
the heist.
Despite gaping plot holes and very tenuous story lines, still worth a watch. Well played. 9/10

elysium
i didnt click to this being bloomkamp until the credits. The slums and robots and africans should have given it away. Pretty mindless watch but not shit. 7.5/10

world war z
very fucking oddly filmed. Faux-violence which had me scratching my head a few times. Didnt click that he'd chopped her hand off until several scenes later, ie. A neat take with hive-mentality zombies though which made for some cool "flowing zombie" scenes. A tentative 8.5/10.

Akzle

17th December 2015, 19:58

transsiberian

the sheila really carries this one. She's stunning through and through. Not to detract from the other performances.
even though i typically hate blondie mccuntface shitforbrains yank guy, even he couldnt ruin this one (in fact, did rather well considering my dislike of him, perhaps this kind of character suits him much better)
pretty weak wrap up but brilliant overall.
9/10

FlangMasterJ

17th December 2015, 20:39

EJK

17th December 2015, 21:14

Akzle

18th December 2015, 07:27

Talking about Kate Mara? Phwoooooar!

no the other one. Milly mortimer.

http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/images/reviews/1/1225550108_3.jpg

bogan

19th December 2015, 19:04

Absolutely Anything

8/10 Comedy, Simon Pegg and Kate Beckinsale (fuck she's doing alright for forty something). A refreshingly new take on the 'god powered' protagonist.

HenryDorsetCase

19th December 2015, 20:33

elysium
i didnt click to this being bloomkamp until the credits. The slums and robots and africans should have given it away. Pretty mindless watch but not shit. 7.5/10

world war z
very fucking oddly filmed. Faux-violence which had me scratching my head a few times. Didnt click that he'd chopped her hand off until several scenes later, ie. A neat take with hive-mentality zombies though which made for some cool "flowing zombie" scenes. A tentative 8.5/10.

I liked ELYSIUM even though I dont think we're supposed to. Sharlto Copley is off the hook in everything.

I havent seen WORLD WAR Z - I liked the book a lot but apparently it is completely different to the movie: they share only a name and a zombie apocalypse theme.

I get enough zombie action on the teev these days: The current zombie shows ranked in order of excellence are:

1. ASH VS EVIL DEAD (Seriously get it it has Bruce Campbell, Lucy Lawless and is made by the Raimis.......)
2. Z NATION (it is hilarious)
3. THE WALKING DEAD (I am persevering.... I spend a lot of time shouting at the teev for their bad tactical decisions and stupid plot contrivances - but they didnt kill Glenn which was nice)
4. FEAR THE WALKING DEAD: boring. watched one ep and flagged it.

pete376403

19th December 2015, 20:43

http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2015/10/18/18-star-wars-poster.w529.h529.jpg

J. J. Abraham don't disappoint.

What a ride! Enjoyed every bit of the film.

OK I'll just say this: That Michael Jackson nose tho... :mellow:

9.5/10

Agreed. Wife and I saw it this afternoon, was fun. Would probably get it on DVD when it comes out, even if just to add to the set.

bogan

19th December 2015, 20:46

I liked ELYSIUM even though I dont think we're supposed to. Sharlto Copley is off the hook in everything.

I havent seen WORLD WAR Z - I liked the book a lot but apparently it is completely different to the movie: they share only a name and a zombie apocalypse theme.

I get enough zombie action on the teev these days: The current zombie shows ranked in order of excellence are:

1. ASH VS EVIL DEAD (Seriously get it it has Bruce Campbell, Lucy Lawless and is made by the Raimis.......)
2. Z NATION (it is hilarious)
3. THE WALKING DEAD (I am persevering.... I spend a lot of time shouting at the teev for their bad tactical decisions and stupid plot contrivances - but they didnt kill Glenn which was nice)
4. FEAR THE WALKING DEAD: boring. watched one ep and flagged it.

Elysium was pretty good I thought too.

WWZ was pretty shit, not sure if it was I Am Legend shit but it can't be too far off.

Thanks for 1 and 2, will give them a hoon; tip for #3, we dropped it at season 5 as the story was just getting worse and worse as they played crap out just to fill in episodes.

FlangMasterJ

19th December 2015, 21:35

I get enough zombie action on the teev these days: The current zombie shows ranked in order of excellence are:

1. ASH VS EVIL DEAD (Seriously get it it has Bruce Campbell, Lucy Lawless and is made by the Raimis.......)

It only took a few episodes for Lucy Lawless to get her tits out too. Bless her.

Akzle

20th December 2015, 04:57

I liked ELYSIUM even though I dont think we're supposed to. Sharlto Copley is off the hook in everything..

ja boykie !

HenryDorsetCase

20th December 2015, 10:26

It only took a few episodes for Lucy Lawless to get her tits out too. Bless her.

She's doing well for 40+. Would.

pzkpfw

20th December 2015, 11:42

Agreed. Wife and I saw it this afternoon, was fun. Would probably get it on DVD when it comes out, even if just to add to the set.

Saw it last night.

7/10

Came out of it a bit disappointed. Too much like a re-hash of Episodes IV - VI. Much of the same everywhere, just "bigger".

Not a well-told story. I think someone said "the prequels disappointed most people, so make this like 'Star Wars'" - and then that was taken too literally.

Even the name "The Force Awakens" is annoying, after seeing it. That's basically what "New Hope" was. (Given the events after VI seem to mirror the events in III). As the sequel to "Return of the Jedi" it should have been called "They went away again".

Impressive to look at. Really liked the hulk of the Star Destroyer; seeing the debris of early battles makes it all a bit more "real". Also, the first 3D movie where I thought the 3D was good and added something. ("Avatar" in 3D did nothing for me (and made my Wife go vomit in the loos).)

mashman

21st December 2015, 22:55

Star Wars. Kinda got to agree with the, I've seen that before, crowd... and I thought the acting was much better in the original ;). Still, it sets the stage. 7/10.

Smifffy

29th December 2015, 21:14

mossy1200

31st December 2015, 14:56

Star Wars - 2nd viewing. Enjoyed it, enough of a nostalgic nod to the originals, none of the 2nd series' silliness, and plenty to be going on with. I like to think the gaping plot holes are set ups for Aha reveals in the subsequent eps.

9/10 would watch again

There was a lot of similarities to Return of the Jedi in the movie less the Ewoks.
I would wear a helmet also if I had his looks. Wait... I do wear a helmet.

Was a fun movie though. 8/10

R650R

5th January 2016, 20:38

no the other one. Milly mortimer.

oh yeah she was good, mentioned this flicke arlier too, very good film.

Ex Machina, 8/10 very good could have done more but holds interest.

Ted 2 the best original dorty joke humour I've heard in a while. Spilled my coffee LMFAO twice in first 30 mins.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3AVcCggRnU

mossy1200

5th January 2016, 22:01

Ted 2 the best original dorty joke humour I've heard in a while. Spilled my coffee LMFAO twice in first 30 mins.....

TED2
We watched it last night and it was funny enough to hold a smile.
8/10

Akzle

6th January 2016, 05:45

Ex Machina, 8/10 very good could have done more but holds interest.

Ted 2 the best original dorty joke humour I've heard in a while. Spilled my coffee LMFAO twice in first 30 mins.....

yup seen it. Good movie.

And watched ted2 yetterday aswell.
Dont recall the first, whether it just wasnt funny enough or what... But the second is crackup all the way, and the cameos. And the cashier sayin "white niggers" - fuck im a trend setter. Couple of overdone scenes but well worth a watch.

I'm offended though, by how much phones have invaded (life), i have no fucking interest in watching people use phones in movies, or even have them as props.

Seen also
gravity
taken3
the heat
the matrix
minions (watch)
hot shots 1&2 (watch)
reviews to follow

Akzle

6th January 2016, 05:49

TED2
We watched it last night and it was funny enough to hold a smile.
8/10

it's very college humor, which i suppose if you're old or a full time intellectual wont do much for ya.
I laughed, quite a bit. Also, having vagina in it (whatever her name is) as a lead helped.

Crasherfromwayback

9th January 2016, 11:34

Watched The Revenant the other night, really really good! Go see it.

Smifffy

17th January 2016, 20:31

Watched The Revenant the other night, really really good! Go see it.

Just saw it. Agree, well worth a viewing.

Crasherfromwayback

17th January 2016, 20:59

Just saw it. Agree, well worth a viewing.

The bear attack scene was well nasty eh.

Smifffy

18th January 2016, 17:46

The bear attack scene was well nasty eh.

It reminded me of my dog (GSD) taking out a rabbit. I thought the CGI wasn't quite right and sat there wondering how long it will be before we look back on it like we do the shark in Jaws now.

J.A.W.

18th January 2016, 18:09

It reminded me of my dog (GSD) taking out a rabbit. I thought the CGI wasn't quite right and sat there wondering how long it will be before we look back on it like we do the shark in Jaws now.

I met a chick who'd lived in Alaska, & had been attacked by a bear while riding a ride-on mower.

When i expressed doubt, she lifted up her hair in back, & showed me where she'd been partially scalped..
..& had furrows in her skull, from where the bear's canines had riven, but failed to penetrate..
..the bear had then departed, unsatisfied..

She habitually wore a .357 pistol after that..

Bears aint so tough, they're garbage pillaging dumpster divers.. watch 'The Ghost & the Darkness'..
& see how bad-arse African lions are - as real man-eater predators - by comparison..

Waihou Thumper

19th January 2016, 18:04

Elysium was a good yarn. Nice special effects and I thought it was good enough to capture my attention for the duration...
Annoying South African phrases though, most wouldn't even understand...:)
It was sort of like Terminator/Crysis 3 mixing gaming and movie...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIBtePb-dGY

BuzzardNZ

19th January 2016, 18:16

AllanB

19th January 2016, 18:22

Elysium I enjoyed. A good Si-Fi yarn even though you know the story. Mind you I find now after decades of movies I can predict most - every now and then a original arrives - INCEPTION was such a movie though even the dream part was a variation of the Matrix 'sleeping' sequence.

I've been off with a summer flu (WTF) this week - watched the last Jurassic Park movie with my 17 yr old daughter as her friends rave about it (one has watched it three times). Alas to me if was the same as the original, and the one following and ...... nothing new or fresh at all. I am unsure what all the hype was over - I suspect it was a long time between versions and old and new viewers had interest.

Akzle

19th January 2016, 19:04

INCH'ALLAH

drama. totally not my genre. tells a story and does it fairly well (hint: teh jews are cunts)
BUT STILL WITH THE PISSED CAMERA GUY EFFECT FOR NO GOOD FUCKING REASON. srsly. french canada fucks (and everyone else) STOP THAT SHIT.

has subtitles for those who dont speak french or arabic, so if you dont like reading movies... fuck off.

as entertainment... 3/10
a lot of this i view as handy-cam, day-in-the-life-of,
so holds nothing new or terribly thought provoking. for the average white nigger, you might be all like "aww, so that's why palestinians dont like jew cunts"

as a drama 9/10. it was dramatic.

as a movie... fuck i dont know. but it looses srs points for having the pissed-camera-guy thing.

watch it. probably.

Akzle

19th January 2016, 19:41

Seen also
gravity
taken3
the heat
the matrix
minions (watch)
hot shots 1&2 (watch)
reviews to follow

gravity:

sandra's bollocks. only one wet tee scene.

for a movie with only 2 actors (and i don't much care for the other guy either) it managed to fill the time. fuck knows what the story line was, which means it was shit.

a lot of spinny-camera work which added exactly fuckall.
*some* not-shit imagery, but so minimal and so widely dispersed it isn't worth mentioning beyond mentioning that it isn't worth mentioning.

your life will be no better for watching it. 4/10

taken 3:
if you've seen the first two. you've seen the first two.
this one puts a slight kink in who gets kidnapped but the story's much the same and the dialogue is just as contrived. bonus is that it has a black guy, and it's less "taken" than the first two.
infact, from when i've seen it, i've already forgotten it.

7/10. mindless time-filler.

the heat:
i'll only review this to say: don't fucking bother.
fat people are disgusting. fat women more so, and fat women that literally swear for the entirety of a far-too-long movie, they can fuck right off (it's the same fat bitch in SPY, which is also a shit movie)
also has sandra bollocks.

thoroughly not worth the time. can i give a 0/10? surely they must get SOMETHING for going to the effort of making a fucking movie.... but no. 0/10.

...okay. maybe 1/10 because it had some lulz. but not enough to make it worth enduring the full movie.

the matrix:
once upon a time i knew every fuckup in this movie. i can still pick most of them.
a shame it wasn't longer, really. and less shit. not that it IS shit. it just could have been less shit.
well ahead of it's time, to use a cliché.
worth a revisit, maybe every decade. it's a shame the special effects have become so mainstream they can seem blasé on rewatch.

two french words in a sentence, do i win anything?
8/10. because matrix is matrix.

minions.
i enjoyed. other adult companions did not. children did (twice) :facepalm:
that said, i still dont know what happens in the middle because i fell asleep/passed out drunk both times.
7.5/10 if you have to sit through a childrens movie, there's worse ones.

hot shots':
just watch them. they're funny as fuck. 9/10

shrek 3:
they're milking the franchise, but still some lulz. as above, there's shittier kids movies to suffer.

BTW: you're welcome kb. i do this for you, y'know.

Waihou Thumper

20th January 2016, 09:55

Doctor Foster is good! Very good...
Just watched all 5 epsidoes back to back last night...Man, what a cliffhanger. :)

Suffice to say there has been a second season commissioned by the BBC...I don't know how that will pan out but Gemma (Suranne Jones) is a babe for sure. :)

Waihou Thumper

20th January 2016, 10:04

The Affair Season One and Two...
This is a Showtime Drama/Mystery with Dominic West...
Very good and some pretty good smutty scenes too.....:woohoo:
Keeps you guessing throughout!

Jin

20th January 2016, 10:16

Watched spectre last night. Awful.

Waihou Thumper

20th January 2016, 10:33

Watched spectre last night. Awful.

Yep, I think the James Bond Franchise are now more about advertising Aston Martin, Taittinger, Omega, Tissot etc rather than a movie that is good viewing.
It is more a bout how we can best advertise these commercially attractive toys to the public...
I think also, 'James' is tired of these, think he has been quoted as saying something of the sort, 'I am over this....'

Isn't the daughter of Broccoli still involved with the franchise?

Akzle

20th January 2016, 10:41

The Lazarus Project

5/10
it doesn't have a soundtrack as such, more some drunk guy dragging a violin across a piano. for the whole movie.
pissed camera guy
lacks any real intrigue
well acted
poorly filmed, scripted, put together.

someone may enjoy it. but it wasn't me.

FlangMasterJ

21st January 2016, 13:28

The Gift http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4178092/

A young married couple's lives are thrown into a harrowing tailspin when an acquaintance from the husband's past brings mysterious gifts and a horrifying secret to light after more than 20 years.

Really enjoyed this. Directed by and stars the dude who was in Warrior with Tom Hardy. Also has Jason Bateman in it who doesn't get much recognition even though he is an awesome actor.

Great intensity and twists in this film.

8/10

Soaked in Bleach http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3253624/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Tom Grant, a private investigator once hired by Courtney Love, reveals his take on the death of Kurt Cobain.

I never really looked into Kurt Cobain's "suicide" but this film really opened my eyes. Courtney Love was a manipulative, scheming and evil bitch. I have no doubt foul play was involved and the evidence to support this is undeniable.

Following the release of this documentary there's talk of the case being reopened.

9/10

Slow West http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3205376/?ref_=nv_sr_1

A young Scottish man travels across America in pursuit of the woman he loves, attracting the attention of an outlaw who is willing to serve as a guide.

Not a bad flick. Great scenery and cinematography. Good chemistry between Fassbender and the young co-star.

6.5/10

Akzle

21st January 2016, 18:15

Bone Tomahawk - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2494362/

I really enjoyed this. Kind of like a Western era The Hills Have Eyes. Some next level violence.

i think this bit needs to be repeated

Some next level violence.

shit's fucken gruesome.

another one where i'm sure it's someone's genre but not mine. the first half sets the background for the second half and rather boringly. wiley west not-much-a-happenin 'murken shit kickers. the second half is a slow ass horror, dark folk eatin' white folk. the conclusion isn't.

too long by half, but wouldn't have been what it is if it wasn't. i doubt i'll watch it again. ever.
well acted, neat characters, just not much of a fucken movie.

if you're comfortable with gore, 6/10. if not, don't watch.

-edits-
i love the language.
this ties in with the characters and i suppose the script.

Jin

21st January 2016, 18:53

Yep, I think the James Bond Franchise are now more about advertising Aston Martin, Taittinger, Omega, Tissot etc rather than a movie that is good viewing.
It is more a bout how we can best advertise these commercially attractive toys to the public...
I think also, 'James' is tired of these, think he has been quoted as saying something of the sort, 'I am over this....'

Isn't the daughter of Broccoli still involved with the franchise?

Agree the Bond guy was looking tired and bored. But the main issue is the story was stupid and unbelievable. Even for a Bond film. Fill the movie with tried and true formulae, chase scene, revenge plots, nasty bad guy that just wont die, anti climatic outcome that was completely lame. Even Christoph Waltz who is a great actor was awful. I guess he did the best he could with the character given to him but the insipid lines were cringe worthy.

I guess the story had potential. But it was rushed and character development had the same level of finesse as you could expect in Azkle having a conversation with a jewish bmw riding lesbian.

Product placement was more blatant in Casino Royale which was a great movie. Anyway i think its time for a new Bond team. Actors, writers, directors etc coz the current lot have given up on doing anything interesting.

Akzle

21st January 2016, 19:21

the same level of finesse as you could expect in Azkle having a conversation with a jewish bmw riding lesbian.

i dont know what you think i have against lesbians or bmw riders.

...Or the Jewish.

And i am subtle as a motherfucker. Do you see? DO YOU SEE?

Waihou Thumper

21st January 2016, 19:26

character development had the same level of finesse as you could expect in Azkle having a conversation with a jewish bmw riding lesbian.

Insult! :pinch:
Our esteemed provider of subtle comments and I must say knowledgeable to boot!
Maybe he should be scripting.....No...Casting, yes casting roles for the next one! :woohoo:

Jin

21st January 2016, 19:36

i dont know what you think i have against lesbians or bmw riders.

...Or the Jewish.

And i am subtle as a motherfucker. Do you see? DO YOU SEE?
My bad. You are as subtle as a sledgehammer.

HenryDorsetCase

21st January 2016, 21:00

gravity:

sandra's bollocks. only one wet tee scene.

for a movie with only 2 actors (and i don't much care for the other guy either) it managed to fill the time. fuck knows what the story line was, which means it was shit.

a lot of spinny-camera work which added exactly fuckall.
*some* not-shit imagery, but so minimal and so widely dispersed it isn't worth mentioning beyond mentioning that it isn't worth mentioning.

your life will be no better for watching it. 4/10

taken 3:
if you've seen the first two. you've seen the first two.
this one puts a slight kink in who gets kidnapped but the story's much the same and the dialogue is just as contrived. bonus is that it has a black guy, and it's less "taken" than the first two.
infact, from when i've seen it, i've already forgotten it.

7/10. mindless time-filler.

the heat:
i'll only review this to say: don't fucking bother.
fat people are disgusting. fat women more so, and fat women that literally swear for the entirety of a far-too-long movie, they can fuck right off (it's the same fat bitch in SPY, which is also a shit movie)
also has sandra bollocks.

thoroughly not worth the time. can i give a 0/10? surely they must get SOMETHING for going to the effort of making a fucking movie.... but no. 0/10.

...okay. maybe 1/10 because it had some lulz. but not enough to make it worth enduring the full movie.

the matrix:
once upon a time i knew every fuckup in this movie. i can still pick most of them.
a shame it wasn't longer, really. and less shit. not that it IS shit. it just could have been less shit.
well ahead of it's time, to use a cliché.
worth a revisit, maybe every decade. it's a shame the special effects have become so mainstream they can seem blasé on rewatch.

two french words in a sentence, do i win anything?
8/10. because matrix is matrix.

minions.
i enjoyed. other adult companions did not. children did (twice) :facepalm:
that said, i still dont know what happens in the middle because i fell asleep/passed out drunk both times.
7.5/10 if you have to sit through a childrens movie, there's worse ones.

hot shots':
just watch them. they're funny as fuck. 9/10

shrek 3:
they're milking the franchise, but still some lulz. as above, there's shittier kids movies to suffer.

BTW: you're welcome kb. i do this for you, y'know.

I enjoyed GRAVITY quite a bit though some of the imagery was as subtle as, um, say, one of your reviews. I will pretty much watch Sandra Bullock in anything. By the way I have a spare copy of the DVD of DEMOLITION MAN if you want it. See where it all started for her. Lenina Huxley. Bonus if you can tell me what the three seashells are for. PM me your address. Or an address, I'll chuck it in an envelope for ya.

I thought the space effects in GRAVITY were well done especially some of the untethered flying stuff though of course THE MARTIAN sets the benchmark for that stuff now.

Also: you need to see THE MARTIAN. Thank me later. Its fashionable in some quarters to disparage Matt Damon but he is excellent if the script is good. And he is very good in this.

Akzle

22nd January 2016, 07:00

I enjoyed GRAVITY quite a bit though some of the imagery was as subtle as, um, say, one of your reviews. I will pretty much watch Sandra Bullock in anything. By the way I have a spare copy of the DVD of DEMOLITION MAN if you want it. See where it all started for her. Lenina Huxley. Bonus if you can tell me what the three seashells are for. PM me your address. Or an address, I'll chuck it in an envelope for ya.

thanks. But they've recently invented this thing called the internet, where you can get pretty much any shit for free.

I didnt like gravity, and you suggest martian.
Have i done something to annoy you? Do you just fucken hate me?

Jeeebus, even reading its tagline makes me want to shit. Knowing it has maaaaaat daaaaaamaaaaaan in it, fuck that.

and
I AM FUKEN SUBTLE, CUNT.

HenryDorsetCase

22nd January 2016, 07:13

thanks. But they've recently invented this thing called the internet, where you can get pretty much any shit for free.

I didnt like gravity, and you suggest martian.
Have i done something to annoy you? Do you just fucken hate me?

Jeeebus, even reading its tagline makes me want to shit. Knowing it has maaaaaat daaaaaamaaaaaan in it, fuck that.

and
I AM FUKEN SUBTLE, CUNT.

Indded, thou art known for thy subtlety a crss between Maciavelli and Pope Francis the 16th.

THEMARTIAN is excellent

What is this "internet" of which you speak?

FlangMasterJ

22nd January 2016, 07:25

Legend http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3569230/

The film tells the story of the identical twin gangsters Reggie and Ronnie Kray, two of the most notorious criminals in British history, and their organised crime empire in the East End of London during the 1960s.

Awesome film. Tom Hardy is incredible playing both of the notorious Kray twins. They've managed to have both Hardy characters interact nearly seamlessly. You forget that they're the same guy by the end. Like most British mob flicks the humour and blase violence is top notch.

If you want to see one hell of an acting performance check this film out.

8.5/10

Akzle

22nd January 2016, 07:51

What is this "internet" of which you speak?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dBAJB2jYkM

Akzle

22nd January 2016, 08:03

rawr.... Y u no embed???

FlangMasterJ

22nd January 2016, 08:06

rawr.... Y u no embed???

Mobile homie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFk2_5RkwlA&app=desktop

Smifffy

22nd January 2016, 20:24

The bear attack scene was well nasty eh.

Not sure if this counts as a spoiler or not, but anyway.....

It was kinda weird when he was trying to climb out of the hole afterwards. The rest of the theatre was on the edge of their seats and I was trying not to crack up laughing because all I could think of was Leo in the scene from wolf of wall street trying to make it to the car while fucked up on qualudes. :lol:

Akzle

23rd January 2016, 11:28

Watched The Revenant the other night, really really good! Go see it.

epic long ae.

beautifully filmed, stunning imagery. nothing quite like the click-foom of a muzzle loader.

epic epic survival, but gets to a point where it's like "what else could go wrong", pretty typical revenge story when it comes down to it. giants doing final battle shit.

leo has a poise which broke character a couple (only a couple) of times. some unnecessary scenes (sleeping in a horse..) couple of survivalist fuckups (shoot a grumpy bear...)

but long ae.

still. stunning.

9/10

J.A.W.

23rd January 2016, 16:58

epic long aye, beautifully filmed, stunning imagery. nothing quite like the click-foom of a muzzle loader.

Ol' timey frontiersman Davy Crockett made a livin' out of hunting big-as bears for their meat.. usin' a muzzle loadin' rifle, & a Bowie knife..

See below, if of interest..

www.historymatters.gmu.edu/d/5816

HenryDorsetCase

24th January 2016, 13:58

Do make sure you go see THE HATEFUL EIGHT. It is excellent. Bigger screen = better.

J.A.W.

24th January 2016, 14:11

Do make sure you go see THE HATEFUL EIGHT. It is excellent. Bigger screen = better.

Needed a decent editing, IMO - Q.T. gets carried away with too much talky-talky..

But.. it does give the resident KB haters something to try & emulate, they've been real pathetic here lately..

Akzle

26th January 2016, 16:56

yerr.
revisited ted, the first.
deffo wide of the mark. few lulz, and there's worse people to look at than big-eye pinko-jewess. but....... 5/10

JATZ

26th January 2016, 20:39

Do make sure you go see THE HATEFUL EIGHT. It is excellent. Bigger screen = better.

Just got back from it..... Meh :yawn: It was alright but I don't think I'd watch it again

Needed a decent editing, IMO - Q.T. gets carried away with too much talky-talky..

What JAW said..... to much yabberin, although there was some good lines. I kept expecting S.L.J. to give his speech about the lord reigning down his vengeance apon thee though:facepalm:
Shoulda been about 1/2 hour shorter

HenryDorsetCase

26th January 2016, 21:05

What JAW said..... to much yabberin, although there was some good lines. I kept expecting S.L.J. to give his speech about the lord reigning down his vengeance apon thee though:facepalm:
Shoulda been about 1/2 hour shorter

I particularly liked

[SPOILER]

when that dudes brains got sprayed all over Daisy. Sure it was shades of Marvin and "Who's on brains detail?"

but I laughed a lot.

The takehome speeches in this film are all about racism and the south and civil war. - in particular the Kurt Russell speech about wrapping yourself up in a rebel flag....

Meh, I really liked it and will likely go see it again.

One of my film-geek friends was raving about "so many references to THE THING" but I havent seen it recently enough to comment. But I own the DVD so will watch that in the near future.

got given a DVD of DJANGO UNCHAINED recently so will re-watch that too.

Akzle

27th January 2016, 05:09

One of my film-geek friends was raving about "so many references to THE THING" but I havent seen it recently enough to comment. But I own the DVD so will watch that in the near future.

watched that, too. The 2011 remake.

CGI makes it what it is. Which is pretty neat as far as creature goes.
Not half so subtle as the original, which i now have to rewatch.
Trashy-horror, still good for a 6.5/10 and that's all creature, since the script is shyte. unlikely to be watched twice.

mashman

27th January 2016, 08:28

What JAW said..... to much yabberin, although there was some good lines.

The yabberin is the only reason I really like his movies... but will likely wait until it hits the shelves in VHS format before seeing it.

Akzle

27th January 2016, 12:14

THE AMERICAN is good. Serious George is serious (think SYRIANA, MICHAEL CLAYTON, not O BROTHER, or THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS).

One or two genuinely unexpected plot twists, a very naked and very bust Italian starlet (what is it about Italian women???) and some genuine tension.

Very worthwhile.

mehhhhh.

the movie is genre-confused.
clooney-man handles his b-i though. and a suitably liberal amount of tits. lift it above average.
well played, filmed etc. a shame it was let down by a fucking pointless plot with goatse holes.
a large amount of irrelevant gunplay... putting together a rifle is no major. noither is checking your fucking bolt carrier, you would think an assassin could manage that, and would. before trying to kill the guy who made it for her. wimmen eh. 200yds is hardly a long shot, either.

a reluctant 6/10

Akzle

31st January 2016, 18:43

water for elephants
8/10
despite a decidedly non-period lead hairstyle, carnies, no t&a, the movie was surprisingly good.

john tucker must die
mehhhhh.
prep school chickflick. 5/10

sickboy
had great potential. if they ever make a sequel they better cast someone better than whiney-mc-bitchalot-cant-follow-very-basic-instruction. pissed camera guy, but that wasnt even the worst thing. which is saying something because I FUKEN HATE IT.
5.5/10 and only because it had (unfulfilled) potential.

were a couple more but i forgot.

unstuck

31st January 2016, 18:45

Cheap thrills, my new favorite movie.:headbang::headbang:
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/fPiw3GDDgcc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

pete376403

31st January 2016, 21:55

Tucker and Dale versus Evil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdNpFoWrBDQ

Clunge Bucket

31st January 2016, 21:57

6/10
Very cheesy, some good battle scenes
Would give the leading lady one
Save your money for Biker Lesbian Zombies On Acid IV

Crasherfromwayback

3rd February 2016, 22:31

Kajaki:Kilo Two Bravo.

Fucking great film. Fucking ouch ouch ouch and fucking ouch as fuck.

Akzle

4th February 2016, 07:16

Kajaki:Kilo Two Bravo.

Fucking great film. Fucking ouch ouch ouch and fucking ouch as fuck.

what is it that you *get* from gore flicks??
You should spend some time chasing ambos, get your fix of that shit soon enough.

Crasherfromwayback

4th February 2016, 07:55

what is it that you *get* from gore flicks??
You should spend some time chasing ambos, get your fix of that shit soon enough.

Nah. I actually find the *gore* side of it a bit off putting (haven't got a good stomach for it). But its a tension packed film that kept me on the edge of me seat!

Akzle

4th February 2016, 15:53

Zero Dark Thirty.

Skipped for about 20mins in. them gave up. Another "america justifying its abhorrent shit" holywood spin.
maybe it develops its characters, maybe it has some qualities of a good film but i'm not going to sit through two hours of horseshit propaganda to find out.

seriously. all the jews should kill themselves.

0/10

Waihou Thumper

4th February 2016, 19:04

Yes it is a series but Fuck me...it is good....:)
Clive Owen....Leave the rest to your taking a peak perhaps?
I also have found out if you can read sub titles and do not mind.....some of the best series, Thrillers especially are coming out of Denmark, Norway and Belgium etc....
Who want to watch TVNZ? Geez.....

Steven Soderburgh Director....and it is Cinemax!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iduGRAFvE9c

caspernz

4th February 2016, 19:14

The Hateful Eight.

Seen this a few days ago, look past the blood and guts and it becomes a lame story. Could have been told in 75 mins tops.

Akzle

4th February 2016, 19:33

the good shepherd

it's long. Jeeeeeesus is it long. doubly long because it's sofa king slow.
You'd have to be very interested in whatever the fuck it was about to endure the whole, i made it about 1.75 and gave up.
A shame, a'cause it has a stella cast, and they all play well.

5.5/10 if it was a)shorter and b) better paced it could be higher.

Akzle

13th March 2016, 11:23

Do make sure you go see THE HATEFUL EIGHT. It is excellent. Bigger screen = better.
:

The Hateful Eight.

Seen this a few days ago, look past the blood and guts and it becomes a lame story. Could have been told in 75 mins tops.

what a fucking waste of time

Cheap thrills, my new favorite movie.:headbang:
yes!
gnarly.

FlangMasterJ

13th March 2016, 12:29

I enjoyed The Hateful 8. The dialogue was awesome enough I didn't notice the length and the over top gore was the icing on the cake. It's Tarantino, what do you expect?

Saw 10 Cloverfield Lane last night. Really good film. I went into it knowing very little about it and it was very enjoyable. 8/10

R650R

13th March 2016, 17:03

Legends. Action/drama interpretation of the Kray brothers.

Excellent flick 10/10, great actors and story, gets bit sad halfway through though....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yI3v6KfR9Mw

R650R

13th March 2016, 17:19

Also highly recommended and emtnion above, Kajaki two zero, Everest quite good.
Knock Knock with Keanu Reeves was utterlky crap story, barely watchable, bearable by the inclusion of two female hotties. Don't waste your money.
Into the Grizzly Maze was ok but could have done more with it....
The Martian ok, didn't watch all the way to end, distracted by a woman and long night lol
She's funny That Way was alright

Siberian Education. Excellent tale of two different paths through life, and keeping your dignity....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCuG9D3_7xY

Akzle

13th March 2016, 18:05

FlangMasterJ

13th March 2016, 22:08

dialogue? Nope. Just lots of talking.

You were probably hearing and not listening.

EJK

13th March 2016, 22:27

Saw 10 Cloverfield Lane last night. Really good film. I went into it knowing very little about it and it was very enjoyable. 8/10

Everybody knew very little before went and watched. The producers intentionally released a vague trailer and kept mouth shut about the story, making the audience quizzical (all or nothing marketing if you ask me). Then when people went to watch it... BAM!

Highly enjoyed it. A well executed mind-stirring thriller. Kept me on the edge of the seat throughout the film, didn't know what to expect minute by minute.

9/10

Akzle

14th March 2016, 18:24

Get a pen and paper handy!

If you enjoy listening to yuppies yelling and screaming for an hour and a half: give yourself 10 points (if not, you start with 0)

-now- for each of the following things you also enjoy, SUBTRACT one point

- a plot
- intelligent characters developed rationally
- thoughtful and well executed cinematography
- respectable lighting
- well choreographed cq fight scenes
- zombies being shot, car chases, explosions
- not having to have earmuffs on standby for when female characters come on screen
- T & A
- visual effects
- not hearing the words "lets split up" in this 'genre'
- relevant soundtracks that aren't from stock archives
- your dignity

now, if you somehow ended up with a non-zero and non-negative number, I can direct you to the movie "Underground (2011)"

I score it 2/10, which is one point for each minute of this movie that's worth watching. truly more than it deserves.

The Raid 1:
accept that it's a kung-fu and we'll all get along fine. It's brutal without being gratuitous. 7/10

EJK

14th March 2016, 19:07

Get a pen and paper handy!

If you enjoy listening to yuppies yelling and screaming for an hour and a half: give yourself 10 points (if not, you start with 0)

-now- for each of the following things you also enjoy, SUBTRACT one point

- a plot
- intelligent characters developed rationally
- thoughtful and well executed cinematography
- respectable lighting
- well choreographed cq fight scenes
- zombies being shot, car chases, explosions
- not having to have earmuffs on standby for when female characters come on screen
- T & A
- visual effects
- not hearing the words "lets split up" in this 'genre'
- relevant soundtracks that aren't from stock archives
- your dignity

now, if you somehow ended up with a non-zero and non-negative number, I can direct you to the movie "Underworld"

I score it 2/10, which is one point for each minute of this movie that's worth watching. truly more than it deserves.

The Raid 1:
accept that it's a kung-fu and we'll all get along fine. It's brutal without being gratuitous. 7/10

Underworld? All I enjoyed watching was Kate Bekinsale's sex scene.

Akzle

14th March 2016, 19:25

Underworld? All I enjoyed watching was Kate Bekinsale's sex scene.

:doh:
*underground

HenryDorsetCase

14th March 2016, 19:44

GRIMSBY

We went out to see HAIL CAESAR and they had yanked it for some Bollywood thing. Since we were there we went to this which was the next film starting.

I have seen and enjoyed BORAT, DA ALI G MOVIE, and THE DICTATOR.

This is more of the same. It will appeal to the inner 11 year old boy in all of us. a LOT of fart and bum and pooze and weez and dick jokes. A

Poor old Mark Strong, a trooper throughout. I loathe that Rebbbbel Wilson but played true to type (a fat slag) in this.

Isla Fisher (Mrs Borat) cor Missus. Would.

For what it was: 8/10 (could have used some boobies) As an actual movie: 3/10

HenryDorsetCase

14th March 2016, 19:45

Underworld? All I enjoyed watching was Kate Bekinsale's sex scene.

and Bill Nighy is watchable in pretty much anything. Even that thing with the thing about the thing. something christmas ageing rocker.

EJK

24th March 2016, 22:25

Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice

DC Universe's answer to Marvel Studio. 4 points for Zack Snyder, 4 points for Hans, and 1 point for Batman.

9/10

But seriously, music alone is worth it.

sil3nt

25th March 2016, 00:34

Zach Snyder 3/10
Batfleck 9/10
SuperCavill 9/10
Wonder Gadot 10/10
Lex Lutherberg 1/10

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 6.5/10

Enjoyable but frustrating. Unfortunately they have given Snyder a few more of these to ruin.

mashman

25th March 2016, 08:04

Deadpool. Enough funny, action, tatties etc... for an 8.5/10....... but it loses a few for the crap bad guys and extra good guys. 6/10.

OddDuck

25th March 2016, 19:48

Not a movie - Danish TV series, The Protectors.

High-level police bodyguards tasked with protecting VIPs, dealing with counter-terrorism and stalking as well. Plays as extreme but believable throughout. Superstar writing and acting plus good to excellent production values mean that this one's worth looking for. Subtitles of course.

Akzle

27th March 2016, 14:19

Pacific rim.

Should have been called pacific rim job, cos it sucks ass.

contrived characters, plot, dialogue. irrelevant scenes by the bucket. lots of yelling australians.

mech warrior meets transformers meets gojira.

still never comprehend why you would make robots the same shape as humans. with the same weak points as humans. nor why an alien species would have the same anatomical weaknesses.

and fuck. why there'd be a million cunts on base doing SFA. engineering just isnt that big an job.

and HIGHLY over used welding/grinding sparks. srsly. that must be the cheapest, most irrelevant fucking effect ever.

3/10. i want to shit on the producers' lawns.

AllanB

27th March 2016, 15:23

Shit - that is twice this year already I have agreed with Akzle.

Either

a. I'm in trouble mentally

b. he is mellowing

HenryDorsetCase

27th March 2016, 19:59

bogan

27th March 2016, 20:51

Fuck you Gaylord. PACIFIC RIM is awesome. 9.7/10

Fucking aye. As is Deadpool.

Akzle

27th March 2016, 21:05

Fuck you Gaylord. PACIFIC RIM is awesome. 9.7/10

your taste in movies: isnt.

Akzle

27th March 2016, 21:09

Shit - that is twice this year already I have agreed with Akzle.

Either

a. I'm in trouble mentally

b. he is mellowing

well, my last post involved ass to mouth, exactly 0 positive remarks, a pretty typical dose of expletives, and ended with me threatening to shit on someone's lawn ive never met.

Shall i book you an appointment?

Kickaha

27th March 2016, 21:59

Fuck you Gaylord. PACIFIC RIM is awesome. 9.7/10
It was fucking rubbish, your taste in movies is shit

Jin

27th March 2016, 23:12

Fucking aye. As is Deadpool.
x1000000 pacific rim and deadpool were great movies

sugilite

28th March 2016, 00:09

+1 for Pacific Rim and Deadpool :yes:

Akzle

28th March 2016, 06:50

handbags!

:girlfight:

Crasherfromwayback

28th March 2016, 10:02

*Metro Manila*

Great film 8/10

<iframe width="854" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Qfk3zA_vUeI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Akzle

28th March 2016, 14:24

The new Hitman movie ain't half bad for an action flick. Copious amounts of death, bullets and the usual baddies who are highly trained soldiers in everything but the ability to aim. Must have been sick that day.

Actually, I rank it. probably better than the first, but since the first was forgettable and subsequently forgotten, dunno.

some tenuous plot devices/threads. and I cant think of even one building that has discotheque lighting tied into their emergency system, but some neat imagery throughout, well choreographed CQ fights, and .44 pistols with seemingly epic mag capacity.

for a guy with no emotion, there's a few sighs and exasperated looks, also some (inefficient and thus redundant) wit which adds to the likability, not the believability of the character

accept it as a no brainer and it's worth 7.5/10

*edit, also some terrible suits on te bad guys. and a running advert for audi. but meh.

AllanB

28th March 2016, 16:24

*Metro Manila*

Great film 8/10

Looks interesting - is it in English - I don't do subtitles unless it's Swedish porn ......

Crasherfromwayback

28th March 2016, 16:35

Looks interesting - is it in English - I don't do subtitles unless it's Swedish porn ......

Bit of Engrish and subtitles. Some of the very best films I've seen are subtitled.

AllanB

28th March 2016, 18:55

Bit of Engrish and subtitles. Some of the very best films I've seen are subtitled.

So I hear - but I buy a book to read (99% better than a film version).

Pacific Rim. Can't work out the popularity of this tale - it is so riddled with obvious errors that even the bang bang parts can't save it.

I will fess up to finally watching the very last of the Twilight movies late this afternoon. Now to add context (to avoid gayism) my daughter was a huge fan of the books when they came out and when the movies started I went with her - the last two in the series of five I missed as she had grown up to the age where she'd rather go with her friends (sigh). We watch number 4 a month or so back (that was the lamest one) she was at work today so I watched alone (my 13 year old son told me I was turning gay watching that shit....) .

Good to knock the series off finally. Slow movie - they actually tried to add story to it! the fight was good but too short. Lots of slow-mo lovely looks filling way to much time. Meh, at least I've seen it.

PS - it has a better story line than Pacific Rim ...... at least more realistic - history at least backs up the story of vampires and werewolves.

Swoop

29th March 2016, 13:52

- I don't do subtitles unless it's Swedish porn ......
?

Why do you need subtitles in porn?
They aren't discussing any form of decent "storyline" or plot.

HenryDorsetCase

29th March 2016, 19:25

handbags!

:girlfight:

LOLOL. Was PACIFIC RIM not realistic enough? What's not to love about it? Great big monsters smashing great big robot-things. Plus a way better and more cohesive story told for way less money than GODZILLA which was on at the same time (which, Bryan Cranston notwithstanding, was fucking tedious and way too long.). No, you're flat wrong about PACIFIC RIM. Bet you didnt like HELLBOY either. "TODAY, WE ARE CANCELLING THE APOCALYPSE" I was very pleased to read recently that PACIFIC RIM 2 is back on track though it doesnt have Guillermo attached. They can have my next $18 for a ticket as well.

DEADPOOL is the best superhero film ever. Because it subverts the genre. Honestly, who can take that shit serially? superpowers? fate of the earth? large men in skintight, er, tights, with undies on the outside? Its just silly. Which is why DEADPOOL works so well. It takes most of the tropes of superhero film and subverts them. Plus Morena Baccarin sex scenes. Plus breaking the fourth wall. Plus they had no money so had to have actual witty banter. I have zero motivation to ever see another Superman or Batman film or tedious fucking X men film, but this I loved.

Gaylord.

HenryDorsetCase

29th March 2016, 19:28

PS - it has a better story line than Pacific Rim ...... at least more realistic - history at least backs up the story of vampires and werewolves.

Oh puh-leaze.

Meh, to each his own.

Also, I'm with Crasher. Some of the best films ever are subtitled.

I re-watched BULLITT at the weekend. Fucking Steve McQueen was cool. Coolest goddamn motherfucker on the silver screen to steal a line from the Drive By Truckers.

nerrrd

29th March 2016, 19:45

Yeah, beings with superhuman, nay god-like powers who hold the fate of mankind in their hands, nobody ever takes THAT seriously ;).

Deadpool was a nice change of pace, though. Pacific Rim was certainly bad (especially the Ozzie accents) but in a good, B-grade-on-steroids way.

bogan

29th March 2016, 19:47

LOLOL. Was PACIFIC RIM not realistic enough? What's not to love about it? Great big monsters smashing great big robot-things. Plus a way better and more cohesive story told for way less money than GODZILLA which was on at the same time (which, Bryan Cranston notwithstanding, was fucking tedious and way too long.). No, you're flat wrong about PACIFIC RIM. Bet you didnt like HELLBOY either. "TODAY, WE ARE CANCELLING THE APOCALYPSE" I was very pleased to read recently that PACIFIC RIM 2 is back on track though it doesnt have Guillermo attached. They can have my next $18 for a ticket as well.

DEADPOOL is the best superhero film ever. Because it subverts the genre. Honestly, who can take that shit serially? superpowers? fate of the earth? large men in skintight, er, tights, with undies on the outside? Its just silly. Which is why DEADPOOL works so well. It takes most of the tropes of superhero film and subverts them. Plus Morena Baccarin sex scenes. Plus breaking the fourth wall. Plus they had no money so had to have actual witty banter. I have zero motivation to ever see another Superman or Batman film or tedious fucking X men film, but this I loved.

Gaylord.

The news of Pacific Rim 2 makes me firm.

And think of Sucker Punch for some reason, 8/10 for normal, 9/10 for the better ending.

Puffin' Billy

29th March 2016, 19:49

Fucking Steve McQueen was cool. Coolest goddamn motherfucker on the silver screen

Yes. Yes he was

AllanB

29th March 2016, 20:56

I re-watched BULLITT at the weekend. Fucking Steve McQueen was cool. Coolest goddamn motherfucker on the silver screen to steal a line from the Drive By Truckers.

Yeah got that on DVD - I'm pretty sure that's the movie the one car loses 12 or so hubcaps in once chase ....... must watch again with the sound up for the V8 rumble.

Pacific Rim 2 .................

Must try Deadpool by the sounds.

Enjoyed Sucker Punch.

Own the Hellboy movies - way more realistic than Pacific Rim ..........

Jin

29th March 2016, 20:58

LOLOL. Was PACIFIC RIM not realistic enough? What's not to love about it? Great big monsters smashing great big robot-things. Plus a way better and more cohesive story told for way less money than GODZILLA which was on at the same time (which, Bryan Cranston notwithstanding, was fucking tedious and way too long.). No, you're flat wrong about PACIFIC RIM. Bet you didnt like HELLBOY either. "TODAY, WE ARE CANCELLING THE APOCALYPSE" I was very pleased to read recently that PACIFIC RIM 2 is back on track though it doesnt have Guillermo attached. They can have my next $18 for a ticket as well.

DEADPOOL is the best superhero film ever. Because it subverts the genre. Honestly, who can take that shit serially? superpowers? fate of the earth? large men in skintight, er, tights, with undies on the outside? Its just silly. Which is why DEADPOOL works so well. It takes most of the tropes of superhero film and subverts them. Plus Morena Baccarin sex scenes. Plus breaking the fourth wall. Plus they had no money so had to have actual witty banter. I have zero motivation to ever see another Superman or Batman film or tedious fucking X men film, but this I loved.

Gaylord.
Word. Starship troopers is another good example of a movie that doesnt take itself seriously but kicks ass in what its meant to be. A fun low brow movie dont think too much just sit back and enjoy.

AllanB

29th March 2016, 20:59

HenryDorsetCase

29th March 2016, 21:03

The news of Pacific Rim 2 makes me firm.

And think of Sucker Punch for some reason, 8/10 for normal, 9/10 for the better ending.

Shit yeah, SUCKER PUNCH was great. It got a lot of backlash about blahdeblahdeblah feminazi rahderah but since the chicks won it big time in the end I failed to see the point. plus misogyny and like that.

Splosions!

HenryDorsetCase

29th March 2016, 21:10

Re-watched the first Borne movie over Easter. Got the rest lined up to revisit as well. I must have watched these half a dozen times and still pick-up new bits each watch.

Good news is Matt Damon is presently making number 5 (he was not technically in number 4).

I liked Renner in BOURNE 4

I think the first one was very good indeed. That combination of the likeable everyman star, and a great action director in Paul Greengrass made for a superior product. I love that fight scene in the apartment with the magazine and the toaster and the gas. I also like Clive Owen a lot as an actor (CHILDREN OF MEN, CROUPIER) and I thought his role "look at what they make us give" was very good.

Gonna bust out my Blu Ray of PACIFIC RIM. Fuck alla y'all haters!

bogan

29th March 2016, 21:14

I liked Renner in BOURNE 4

I think the first one was very good indeed. That combination of the likeable everyman star, and a great action director in Paul Greengrass made for a superior product. I love that fight scene in the apartment with the magazine and the toaster and the gas. I also like Clive Owen a lot as an actor (CHILDREN OF MEN, CROUPIER) and I thought his role "look at what they make us give" was very good.

Gonna bust out my Blu Ray of PACIFIC RIM. Fuck alla y'all haters!

He was Inside Man too right? That was a great movie also, not so good for re-watches though.

Speaking of; queuing up Pacific Rim, and Sucker Punch, right after Broken Arrow :punk: fuck yeh

AllanB

29th March 2016, 22:02

Yes to Starship Troopers (1) bloody laugh and some clever comments on society in there. Plus some boobs and a hot redhead.

Broken Arrow - great movie - both leads on fire and a lovable female romantic interest.

I've actually watched Rim twice. First once it was released on DVD as I had to see what the hype was about (must have been a shit year at the office) -second time just to see if I was having a bad day the first time I watched it ..........

Alien 5. Excited and worried ............

mashman

29th March 2016, 22:47

FlangMasterJ

30th March 2016, 08:33

Batman v Superman 6.5/10. Great effects as you would expect and plenty of promise with large parts of the story line, but the end result felt cobbled together... that and too many long pause for thought scenes.

Yep the ending was a little rushed. Affleck delivered as Batman. Has Bale beat in my opinion.

I enjoyed it. 7.5

Akzle

30th March 2016, 18:32

Sicario

!!!!!!00001010101!!!!

9-9.5/10

I dont like the lead vagina (it's nothing personal, just....), which bugged the hell out of me the duration, she did however have me yelling advice at the screen so...

thoroughly engaging, brilliantly acted. epic POV camera work.

...she obviously achieved the directors intention, given how artfully executed it was, on the whole.

is going to be rewatched, and very few movies get that.

I'd say this would be up crasher's alley.

American Sniper

ho hum.
as a movie... 6.5/10
the propaganda lets it down.
i realise it's all "true story bro" but the wife and kids half-story thread distracts from hoo-raa shootey.
cant really recommend it for anything. but it isnt as shit as i expected.
although, the ignarant cunt that eats with his left hand at an arab man's table...

Akzle

1st April 2016, 11:42

RIPD

not my genre.
well enough put together.
you cant create slang.
for me 4/10. would be higher if you liked that crap.

The Mortal Instruments, City of Bones.

again. not my genre. watched half and gave up.
fucking trite. forced plot elements. far too fucking long.
feels like something for teenage wannabe goths to masturbate to, and not much more.
4/10, mainly for creature. and even i would jack it for the lead vag.

Fury

takes fucking long to tell the story eh. that said, doesn't feel overlong. well performed, decent story, effects, characters, filming, plot. just pretty average overall. still good for 7.5/10.
again, higher if you're into it.

John Dies at the End

8.5/10, not because it was great overall, just for lots of good parts, ideas, lines etc. well acted, filmed.

OddDuck

1st April 2016, 11:56

+1 on Sicario.

Tense as hell, amazing movie. I am an Emily Blunt fan so didn't mind her at all, thought she did stellar work in the role, as did Brolin and del Toro (esp del Toro - talk about a masterclass performance!!)

pete376403

2nd April 2016, 21:13

Hunt for the Wilder People
Wife and I saw this tonight. Really liked it. Where it was filmed looks magnificent (Ureweras?) Lots of "in" jokes (eg Toyota pickup named Crumpy) Sam Neill is good but he could probably do this in his sleep.. There's a Terminator pig that looks pretty fearsome.

Will probably go again.

0 boobs but movie doesn't need them

R650R

2nd April 2016, 21:55

AllanB

2nd April 2016, 22:11

Cold in July was very good.

Crasherfromwayback

2nd April 2016, 22:17

Cold in July was very good.

Indeed. Very good film.

Akzle

3rd April 2016, 06:03

I thought Sicario was shite.... but then id been waiting to see it for so long and the promos built it up too much.

yea. See. I dont do that.

.occasioanally ill watch a trailer after i watch a movie, but rarely.

OddDuck

3rd April 2016, 08:24

I thought Sicario was shite.... but then id been waiting to see it for so long and the promos built it up too much.

Doesn't compare to say Rampart or End of Watch etc......

While looking for something earlier remembered id seen Cold in July, pretty good plot twists and suspense...

I tried watching Rampart a while ago but just couldn't get into it. I think it's a very good movie but simply not to my taste. I went into Sicario completely open (had absolutely no idea what I was going to watch), maybe that's why it worked so well for me.

Smifffy

3rd April 2016, 21:02

Batman V Superman or V/v

Was either that with a mate or sit in a 8 x 10 room looking at the walls. Still not convinced I made the right choice.

Lois Lane and the other chick (no spoiler) were alright - nice umm shoes

Special effects overdone and too bright to actually see what was supposed to be happening

Affleck did a good batman, although to be fair Batman is all about looking brooding, beefy and badass these days and not much else.

HenryDorsetCase

3rd April 2016, 21:25

Akzle

8th April 2016, 17:07

and they're all good...(...er than shyt)

stretch
crackup. well executed. 8/10. recommend

pain&gain
zomg IRL!
truth IS stranger than fiction. knowing this was a true story aforehand made watching it all the more poignant. nothing except that cunt's nose lets it down.
and the rock as a reformed christian jailbird - too much!!
8/10

kid cannabis
zomg m0ar IRL!!
6.5/10. i'm no stranger to the story. not this one in particular, but THE story. but mildly interesting, lulz, and liberal with the tits.

lets be cops
soundtrack. funnies. 8/10

get him the the greek
next to all the other movies, this one has to rank better. so 8.5/10, which is a bit closer to "excellent movie" than this deserves. (but is easier than down ranking the other meeeeeewveeeees) still, shameless famouses, rather funny. worth it.

spring summer autumn winter and spring
muuuuuuuuh. i'd like to like it. but i really dont. well filmed (as though it's older than it is, but subtly), acted, scripted, set etc. the massa is hilarious, but thoroughly predictable.
6/10, it was better than shit, but not for me.

knights of badassdom
doesn't takes itself seriously (really, how could it) tits doesn't get her tits out which disappoints.
some humor, well put together. i don't regret watching it but not going to again.

i feel the need to use the word piquant in a sentence, so one of you cunts needs to recommend me a fucking piquant movie.

HenryDorsetCase

8th April 2016, 20:01

HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE. I liked this and didnt really expect to. People loved Taika's last effort (WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS) and I thought it was lazy and stupid and not really a script - just a series of skits. It did have some funny funny bits though. Anyway, went into this not expecting much. And it was great. Decent story, as another poster has said lots of throws to classic NZ Cinema of Unease (GOODBYE PORK PIE, SMASH PALACE etc). Sam Neill can do this shit in his sleep. the kid that played Ricky Baker was great.

Very worthwhile. Go see it, keep a kiwi or two in a job. Have an icecream and stuff.

8/10

HenryDorsetCase

8th April 2016, 20:04

kid cannabis
zomg m0ar IRL!!
6.5/10. i'm no stranger to the story. not this one in particular, but THE story. but mildly interesting, lulz, and liberal with the tits.

get him the the greek
next to all the other movies, this one has to rank better. so 8.5/10, which is a bit closer to "excellent movie" than this deserves. (but is easier than down ranking the other meeeeeewveeeees) still, shameless famouses, rather funny. worth it.

i feel the need to use the word piquant in a sentence, so one of you cunts needs to recommend me a fucking piquant movie.

Put down the joint and back away from the keyboard. GET HIM TO THE GREEK is close to being an excellent movie in the same way as I am to being an excellent dancer. Or motorbike rider.

A piquant movie you say? how about THE COOK THE THIEF HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER? CAT PEOPLE?

tits are good. better than good in fact

Akzle

8th April 2016, 20:32

Put down the joint and back away from the keyboard. GET HIM TO THE GREEK is close to being an excellent movie in the same way as I am to being an excellent dancer. Or motorbike rider.

A piquant movie you say? how about THE COOK THE THIEF HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER? CAT PEOPLE?

tits are good. better than good in fact

from someone that enjoyed pacific rimjob, sandra bollocks and maaaaaaatt daaaaaaaamon, you're opinion is worth precisely 0/10.

F5 Dave

9th April 2016, 08:10

He does make a good point about tits.

F5 Dave

9th April 2016, 08:13

Akzle

9th April 2016, 08:56

He does make a good point about tits.

tits make their own good points, he just, uhh, pointed it out.

F5 Dave

9th April 2016, 13:17

No, , I'm struggling, but I have to give Axhell some green rep for making me larf.

Akzle

9th April 2016, 15:54

don't worry maaaate. the tip's always the hardest part.

the interview
predictably, shit. gets one bonus point for the lulz which brings it up to squarely average. 5/10.
american humor isn't.

the internship
have i mentioned that blondie mc cuntface should be fed to rabid squirrels? he should. t+10 min had me hitting stop. 1/10.

AllanB

9th April 2016, 22:39

Just watched Ex Machina.

I'm giving it a 9/10 - excellent take on the AI machine awareness theme. Excellent effects. Robot chick got a high semi rating on my scale. Plus a selection of boobs. And tasteful full nudity.

Will watch again. Bound to have been lots of stuff I missed.

F5 Dave

10th April 2016, 07:04

Good point, forgot I have that, must watch it

Crasherfromwayback

10th April 2016, 13:56

george formby

10th April 2016, 15:47

THE COOK THE THIEF HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER?
tits are good. better than good in fact

That's one of my fav off the wall movies and bless Helen's tits and all who rain on them.

OddDuck

10th April 2016, 20:25

Deadpool.

Yeah, OK. Not great, not crap, just OK really.

Problems: tries waaaaay too hard. The whole movie seems to have been based on that fucking great opening chase sequence and scene. Then after that they kind of ran out of ideas, supporting characters, plot, jokes, etc etc. Shame really, if they'd had Deadpool taking the piss out of the more serious X-Men the whole way through it could have actually been quite good.

Akzle

13th April 2016, 11:14

There's three, but i can only remember two.

Carrie. the new one.
A fairly faithful remake of the original, slyly modernised.
the original movie that is. i havent read the book.
Well played all round. (as was the original.) the lead does an excellent harried and haunted, and is gorgeous to boot. (as was the original)
and lots of nubile school girls. though the thighs have gotten longer and skinnier in the last few decades - no bad thing!
as a story 6/10. as a film 7/10. as a remake 10/10.

Into the wild

Another IRL, but doesnt focus on what the news did, i guess.
i went in fully prepared, wanting even, to not like it. ("stupid townie emo school boy fucks off and dies of stupidity")
imagine my surprise.
long, but rather compelling. glossed over some bits but not to the detriment of the main story.
gave the IRL lead more background, a better portrayal. a mindset not dis-similar to my own.
jumps through snapshots, which i guess is all any of us will be remembered by.
a good watch. 8+/10.

13th April 2016, 13:30

Surprised I enjoyed it, more than expected after reading poor reviews. Ben Afleck made a better job of playing the bat than I expected. Normally I can't stand anything with him in it after he ruined Daredevil.

Irritating prat of an actor playing Lex Luxor - as always it seems. The dream sequences became annoying too.

One glaring mistake though- Wonder woman must have an awesome rack. Not a bad looking chick they used, but to play Wonder woman, the actress needs to be exceptionally beautiful with voluptuous tits that defy gravity. Linda Carter set the benchmark!

Dadpole

13th April 2016, 16:11

Into the wild

"stupid townie emo school boy fucks off and dies of stupidity" 8+/10.

Best film review I have ever read. :clap:

FlangMasterJ

14th April 2016, 10:47

Another IRL, but doesnt focus on what the news did....

IRL = In real life?

mashman

14th April 2016, 13:15

Allegiant 8/10. The best one of the three so far.

Akzle

14th April 2016, 14:06

IRL = In real life?

correct .

Crasherfromwayback

14th April 2016, 15:22

Saw this the other night and thought it was quite ok.

<iframe width="854" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0-mp77SZ_0M" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

R650R

18th April 2016, 20:40

Allegiant 8/10. The best one of the three so far.

Is it way better than the second one. I felt insurgent was a let down and padded a bit compared to the awesomeness of divergent.

R650R

18th April 2016, 20:44

and they're all good...(...er than shyt)

stretch
crackup. well executed. 8/10. recommend

i feel the need to use the word piquant in a sentence, so one of you cunts needs to recommend me a fucking piquant movie.

Watched stretch last night, was ok and some cool bits but could have been a bit more epic somewhere.....

Not sure of mentioned here already but showed some guys at work the trailer for Kill me three times.
Great aussie black comedy.

AllanB

18th April 2016, 20:54

HenryDorsetCase

18th April 2016, 21:03

I think they've greenlit RIDDICK 3 with Mark Vincent attached. So you have that to look forward to, which is nice.

CRIMSON PEAK. Tom Hiddlestone, Mia Wasikovska (sp?) and Jessica Chastaine. Guillermo Del Toro does bodice ripping (actual, in one point) gothic-y horror. I dont really do horror but had a good time with this. No boobs but some gruesome gore bits, had a good time.

on TV we are watching DETECTORISTS.

mashman

19th April 2016, 10:44

Watched Pitch Black again (4-5-6 times?)

Still epic.

Opening crash landing on full high def, decent soundbar wound up high.

Good shit.

Even Vin Diesel performs - part suits his acting, ah. skills.

Second movie is a visual treat but relies on it's graphics, whereas the first movie is basic in design but works extremely well in application.

If you like a bit of Si-Fi visit either.

+1... they seemed to get progressively worse, although I'd rank the second one up there pretty close with Pitch Black. That 3rd one was, well, it had tits in it and that was the highlight.

mashman

19th April 2016, 10:48

Is it way better than the second one. I felt insurgent was a let down and padded a bit compared to the awesomeness of divergent.

Yeah, the second one had a decent storyline but too many subplots that often never went anywhere.

mashman

20th April 2016, 14:38

Kungfu Panda 3 - 6/10. Disappointing, but doubt they coulda done any more with the story line... which kinda tags in with middle daughter wondering why they bothered to make it in the first place.

Akzle

20th April 2016, 15:53

I remember.

Moonwalker. with Mickey J.

i dont know if the cunt was on acid, but that's about the only way to watch this pederast shit. dancing claymation rabbit was cool. the rest: meh.
2/10

The maze runner

presumably targeted at short people, due to the lack of swears. neat concept, poor execution. about 2 neat images. not worth it.
4/10

FlangMasterJ

21st April 2016, 16:00

The Invitation (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2400463/) - Not great and not bad just different. Best not to read the plot or synopsis and just put it on. 7/10

Dirty Grandpa (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1860213/?ref_=nv_sr_1) - Pretty crass with a few laughs here and there. Efron and De Niro are pretty good together. Another cookie cutter Yank comedy. 6/10

Ditto on the Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick. The second one I really enjoy and can watch again and again.

AllanB

21st April 2016, 19:40

Ditto on the Pitch Black and The Chronicles of Riddick. The second one I really enjoy and can watch again and again.

Yes, quite the visual treat - something new each time. Must have cost a shit load to make.

sil3nt

21st April 2016, 23:32

Jungle Book - 10/10

One of the best movies I have ever seen. The best CGI I have ever seen.

AllanB

22nd April 2016, 21:07

Which reminds me The Life of Pi was most excellent. Stunning visuals. Excellent story line. Great acting. Worth several watches on full high deff large screen tv.

AllanB

22nd April 2016, 21:09

As a side note. I don't go to the theater anymore. Started in 2010/11 as a Christchurch earthquake thing then morphed into a disappointment at the screen and sound quality of the 'big screen'.

Rather watch at home on my decent TV and sound system.

OddDuck

23rd April 2016, 22:37

Hunt for the Wilderpeople.

Actually pretty good... not perfect, but 8/10, mostly plays it about right. Some seriously Kiwi humour going on, there's some stuff in it that you would never see anywhere else. Rima te Wiata's character Bella and her reaction to the wild pig is going to stay with me for quite some time :laugh:

Is missus and kids friendly, loads of local talent, good for a family night out.

AllanB

23rd April 2016, 23:32

Just watched the latest Star Wars movie. 5/10 absolute tops. Won't watch again.

Fucking remake of movie one really.

Disappointing.

No boobs either - I really should take another point off.

OddDuck

24th April 2016, 09:54

Just watched the latest Star Wars movie. 5/10 absolute tops. Won't watch again.

Fucking remake of movie one really.

Disappointing.

No boobs either - I really should take another point off.

Good call. Reye is fucking awesome but almost all of the rest was opportunity squandered. Frankly I reckon 5/10 is generous for this turkey. It's like a masterclass in mistakes. Epic, colossal, complete clusterfuck mistakes.

HenryDorsetCase

24th April 2016, 11:18

Just watched the latest Star Wars movie. 5/10 absolute tops. Won't watch again.

Fucking remake of movie one really.

Disappointing.

No boobs either - I really should take another point off.

I will never watch another. You wouldnt want to see Daisy Ridley topless. She is flat as an ironing board. She can deadlift over 80kg though.

http://thenerdybird.com/watch-daisy-ridley-deadlift-176-pounds/

AllanB

24th April 2016, 18:46

I will never watch another. You wouldnt want to see Daisy Ridley topless. She is flat as an ironing board. She can deadlift over 80kg though.

http://thenerdybird.com/watch-daisy-ridley-deadlift-176-pounds/

The more I think about it maybe a 4/10 is a truer rating. Gutted really as I read and heard all the hype but that turns out to be just sentimental rose tinted glasses reviews because of the original cast members appearing. And they all look rather ........ weathered. Guess all that money can't stop time.

I did like the red flying motorcycle thing the girl fatted around on early in the piece. But HTF did she become such a skilled flyer of starships when she lives in hicksville and is struggling to even feed herself?

impressive deadlift though.

Now I'm worried about the Avatar sequel.

Pro-me-thinks-a-miss was a interesting stand along movie. Not what I was expecting. Watched it several times as very visual. I think it is mainly lacking a main cast who is either loveable or someone you are rooting for during the movie. I just didn't care who they killed off.

Swoop

24th April 2016, 19:46

I had been intending to view The Railwayman, but TV screening provided the excuse ahead of time.

Exceptional. Characters played in that "British" manner of the 50' - 60's, but developed as the whole story enlarged.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2058107/

Jin

25th April 2016, 08:37

I thought the black guy was more interesting than the girl. Either way the movie was shit.

Jungle book saw few days ago with the little one. Loved it will probably watch again.

R650R

27th April 2016, 16:24

Watched the Dressmaker on weekend to keep the other half happy.
Kate Winslet is stunning as always and great acting by her and others. Good Aussie drama/black comedy.
Highly recommend.

Akzle

29th April 2016, 18:05

Outpost
rarely does a movie so seamlessly blend sheer brilliance
...and C grade shyte.

and it's not as though it does it only once, it's back and fo'ard for the duration.
some nifty IRL military maneuvers, (contrasted with utterly moronic shit) superling one liners (script was pretty good throughout), and (spoiler) [R RATED] NAZZI ZOMBIES [/R RATED]

absolutely worth watching. at least once.
8/10 (somehow!)

I want candy

not sure what genre this is. comedy i guess. some of it better than others. could have done with more tits but gave a few chuckles. lots of white people. in fact, only white people. british setting but yank-esque toilet humor.

ahhhhhh..........6.5/10

which puts me in mind of:
girl next door

this has stuck in my mind for days. the slutette... nomnomnom. the movie as a whole, i'd have to rewatch to give an accurate, but the fact that i remembered it says something. provisional 7.5/10

may payne
the parts ef this movie worth watching are confined to the last 20 minutes.
...make that 10.
i saw it long ago, and that's pretty much all i remembered from it.
big-eye commie jewess does such a terrible job it almost makes me not want to put my penis in. (almost. i still would) the script is bollocks, the plot beige the only thing worth awarding points are the CGI. and the tatooist. 4/10. sub par.

Akzle

30th April 2016, 09:43

Bullet (2014)
this guy will always and only ever be, Machete.
didn't bother to finish watching it so i assume the last hour or so was as shit as the first 20 minutes.
3/10

Bad Ass
kinda hobo with a shotgun meets kickass, without the redeeming feature of nicky cage. mindless and pointless, but not terrible. 6.5/10

Akzle

2nd May 2016, 20:38

can we start a sub thread? Sequels that are greater than or equal to the original.
For a start ted2 and horribl bosses 2. Relative, like, ted 2 was genuinely not shyt,
horribl bosses was only relatively less shyt.

Outpost dark sun is so far, (t+35m) shit.
Sad face. There was deffo potential.

HenryDorsetCase

2nd May 2016, 21:41

mindless and pointless, but not terrible.

thats a great review. I really like it.

I find myself agreeing with you about SICARIO. Not that I will be referring to anyone, least of all Emily Blunt, as "lead vagina".

I didnt really buy her as a member (or leader) of a SWAT team and she spent a lot of the film going "WTF?" pointlessly.

She can do action: see EDGE OF TOMORROW.

Josh Brolin is excellent, some decent gunfights n stuff and Benicio Del Toro being a badass. It was only OK, call it 6/10

Akzle

2nd May 2016, 21:52

It was only OK, call it 6/10

this is why we cant have nice things.

(though, upon it's allegedly deserved rewatch, it wasnt that good. Maybe the weed was just lesser, maybe it was the whores. Maybe, god forbid, i overestimated it.)

Akzle

3rd May 2016, 08:11

and edge of tomorow was pretty poo.
Tam cruise meets mechwarrior meets groundhog day, and thats. About. It.
Might try watching it again. I was pretty chopped. But i doubt.

6bullets

john cloud (+motobike!) 's answer to "taken."
+ other solid leads. Some overdone shootey, some daft baddy, but thats par for the course.
Scenes in which make it darker, without the whole being m0ar srs, which is at odds. Still, good flick. 7-8/10

Jin

4th May 2016, 18:19

Just rewatched kill bill. Still awesome. Love tarantino.

HenryDorsetCase

4th May 2016, 21:04

Indeed.

I am a fan of his oeuvre also.

Watched MARSHLAND last night. Spanish. Very like TRUE DETECTIVE but Spanish. Two outsider cops go to a rural village to investigate the disappearance of two teenaged girls. Everyone has something to hide. Most people have a motive. Many would kill to protect their secrets. Enjoyed it. You dont get the character development that you do over 10 hours of TV (and the actors were good but not McConaghey and HArrelson with a good script, great direction and fantastic sets/locations good) but still good. 8/10.

Those of you who dont "do" subtitles are missing some of the best films there are.

Oh yeah: DEADPOOL is officially my favourite superhero film.

AllanB

4th May 2016, 21:08

HenryDorsetCase

4th May 2016, 22:05

Fucking subtitles. Only applicable in Porn. Huge is huge in any language - and clear by her expression .......

Still gutted over my recent FartWars experience. Scared to drop another $6 on a clinker movie .......... rehashing old favorites.

going to the movies is a $50 exercise: tickets, drinks, cheese board. Then fuckwits all about you commence to the chomping and the farting and the texting and the talking. Yeah, you made a good call flagging the cinema. HAving said that Alices and Academy Gold (get your senior citizen freak on) and the new Alices at the tannery will be good. I will not attend a film at Hoyts Riccarton - I drive past it to go to Hoyts Northlands or Reading if I must go to one of those places.

AllanB

4th May 2016, 22:39

Another issue with the movies is the quality is lacking.

I've come to expect full hi-def and decent surround sound. Plus a fridge very close ........

Must be getting old.

Would not mind starting up my own slightly rural movie theater. The conditions are mine - I'll show what I want but I'll also have a bar and couches to lounge about in. Meh i might even reintroduce half time so you can pee or discuss the movie to date without missing anything or pissing anyone off.

Farting however will be a outside affair

Akzle

5th May 2016, 14:56

killshot

better than expected for a movie that got 0 publicity. solid performances and delivery, even if a thoroughly predictable story.
8/10

-edits-
i see thats because it hasn't been released here. but was released in israel before all others... aliens!

iron sky
nope.
2/10, fucked if i know why that even.

Jack reacher
even thougd i know the story (read it) it almost felt like i'd seen the film. not a cruise fan. but a non-shit (timewaster) flick. 6.5/10

steve-o (several)
the somewhat tragic story of a young ADD american boy on his quest for relevancy. FPP of a well spent youth, copious with drugs, booze and tits.
quote of the flick: "PCP saved my life" or "i never really wanted to work, and i want to be remembered forever"
some neat skating, some gnarly "stunts", some stupid and disgusting shit, a lot of yawn.
not for everyone but 6/10.

Akzle

5th May 2016, 15:28

ninja

srsly white people. stop it.

2/10

oh, and any movie that i rank lower than 5 i probably didn't watch to the end. so they may have spectacular orgies. i'll never know. perhaps i need to start a new rating system for shitters... like how many minutes before i turn it off. i think i shall.

Swoop

5th May 2016, 16:25

Meh i might even reintroduce half time...
Damn right! Bring back Intermission.

(however, it does allow the spastics to reload their food supplies - so another bout of plastic fucking wrappers being rustled about for 15mins...)

but was released in israel before all others...
Fucken jews!

Awesome!

Akzle

5th May 2016, 16:38

Damn right! Bring back Intermission.

(however, it does allow the spastics to reload their food supplies - so another bout of plastic fucking wrappers being rustled about for 15mins...)

your lucky you were never in a cinema with me while tangy fruits were a thing.

how we got slingshots in every week i still dont know.

Akzle

5th May 2016, 18:15

reboot.

If you know little about computers, and can overlook gnome running on a mac with a bash terminal running dos and executing c? Code on an iphone....
It's pretty good.
Short at 40min, +hottie, change-the-world-fight-clubby, social commentary.
For all, rather incomplete, but not without talent. For all of four actors and two shooting locations, id love to see what the makers do with a feature length.
Going.................7:5/10
if i was more ignoranter and less ocd, maybe 8.

Akzle

7th May 2016, 08:00

12 rounds 2, reloaded.

Fast paced from the outset. Tapers off in the middle trimester for an unsurprising finale.

Thoroughly predictable, some contrived script elements, pretty fucken stupid, but well performed, plenty haction.
6/10

Akzle

7th May 2016, 08:07

300 (the se/prequel)

00:35/1:42

watched a couple of thoroughly average fight scenes but mostly i was texting my mate barry giving him shit about his new cat, and posting whatever reviews i posted the other day, so more likely 00:15

a shame, because the first was aiight.

Akzle

8th May 2016, 07:49

killing season

damn son, this thing turns the tables more than a lazy susan at a fondue party - that is to say, to the point where it's a bit fucken silly.
There's something endearing about russian accents speaking english and J Revolting delivers, cunt must have an excellent plastic surgeon too because he does not look old.

Couplee gruesome bits, but mostly just your usual fisticuffs and poor shooting, plus stick bows! And i love a fucking stick bow.
Stunning scenery, no real surprises in the plot, the aforesaid table turns drag it out, changes the introduction-development-conflict-resolution pattern of things, but as said, feels a bit stupid.
All in... 8/10, would probably watch again.

Akzle

9th May 2016, 08:39

30 minutes or less.

I really should have written this up after watching it, because i've forgotten most of it.
Non-srs, but also non-jovial. Well played, id say, (except that) the lead only ever seems to act one role across the flicks ive seen him in. I suppose i need to get used to a new generation of actors.
Not funny enough to class as comedy but not without certain humor.
A quickie at 1:20 but really wouldn't survive being longer.
7/10

30 days of night

i dont want to bless this film with more words than it deserves (which is one: shit) but i also have a lot of pent up emotion, and black coffee.

Save yourself the bother of watching the film by youtubbing "trencher scene" - it's the only one worth a damn.
Which rips my blouse, because it started off beautifully set, dramatically placed, and with gorgeous people and amazing characters. And then.....

Vampires.
And that's really when i should have switched off, but in my folly i persisted (fortunately, because the trencher scene was t+>1h)

not the regular kind, either. A talky screetchy mob kind. In suits.

You'd think no one in alaska had seen a vampie movie, being, it takes them the next 40+ minutes to work out how to kill them (while the irrelevant population are killed, in some neatly filmed birds eye view scenes)

this, as outpost, treads that line between artful excellence, and cringeworthy irrelevant dumb shit.

It pains me to rank this above average, but the characters, hottie, and filming manage to shine through, and thats what all the points are for, because the rest is shit.
8/10 for the art only. 3.5/10 as a movie.

EJK

9th May 2016, 08:43

Captain America: Civil War

Fun. Just enjoyable. Will I watch it again? I don't know.

7.5/10

Follow up on watching Captain America, I went and watched Ant Man..

By far my favorite Marvel Studio film/ character. Brilliantly hilarious.

9/10

Crasherfromwayback

9th May 2016, 09:21

killing season

.

Get yourself *Kill List*

Blackbird

9th May 2016, 10:25

Went to see "Eye in the Sky" on Friday night starring Helen Mirren and the late Alan Rickman. Didn't know what to expect - simply went along as they are both great actors. Despite it being about a drone surveillance against terrorists and how it develops, it's not an action movie. However, the interplay between the characters and the politics of the situation made it one of the best movies I'd seen in years. Rickman's portrayal of a UK General was incredible.

Akzle

9th May 2016, 11:51

I went and watched Ant Man..

By far my favorite Marvel Studio film/ character. Brilliantly hilarious.

9/10

that shit's insufferable.:pinch::2guns:

EJK

9th May 2016, 11:55

that shit's insufferable.:pinch::2guns:

It was fecking awesome!

http://orig05.deviantart.net/8a31/f/2015/171/7/1/thomas_going_at_yellow_jacket_by_mewmewspike-d8y4tvw.png

Choo choo motherfuckers!

Maha

9th May 2016, 12:11

It was fecking awesome!

Choo choo motherfuckers!

Axkzel has auditioned for the C grade NZ movie Ramboy 'First Mud'... turns out it is an all male cast filmed in the bush not a sheep in sight.

Akzle

9th May 2016, 19:41

i am legend

revisited this one. You really have to forget you've seen it before.

Mildly irrelevant opneing scene, infact, irrelevant and poorly executed cgi animals through. and where the fuck did the lions come from?
And fuel? power?. Muh.

Otherwise, a solid performace from bill and a script that mostly allows it. neat creature, weak enough ending that invites a sequel (127 weeks later style) probably best left at watch-once. 7.5/10

hellbenders

odd clash of genres, funny bits but not delivered as though they're expecting lulz.
Had potential if they'd let either genre loose but was just weird, really.
5/10

Dadpole

9th May 2016, 23:21

i am legend

You really need to read the book. The film is loosely related crap in comparison.

Akzle

10th May 2016, 20:51

You really need to read the book. The film is loosely related crap in comparison.

giz a turn on yours.

Akzle

10th May 2016, 21:03

oculus.

Stunning. Spine tingly spook flick.
Beautifully cuts time.
All three gingas played their tits off.
The men, just as well.
Dad was a brilliant heeeeeeerrrees johnny. The lads were really just supporting roles, but well done.
Ghosties a bit ~muh, but i cant think a better way they could have been done.
Soundtrack was a let down - orchestral and atmospheric, very classic, but a bit dissapointing.
Apparently the budget was 5mil?? Not a lot by comparison and for what it delivers.... Whoar!

We're 9/10

Akzle

11th May 2016, 12:52

stan helsing

i would say parody, but that implies some kind of witty knockoff, this is just a knockoff.
No redeeming features. Waste of time. 2/10

the curious case of benjamin button

a plot! A plot! My kingdom for a plot!
You would think, at 3 hours long, someone might have snuck some plot in. I hung in to the end to find that they did not.
A disjointed irrelevant biographic

Story. And nothing more than a story (and one i would probably read quicker than it took to watch,) where's the MOVIE, ffs.

Well performed, to be sure, some excellent scenes, to be sure.
The age-backwards premise got fucked up. (starts and ends as a baby... Wtf)
i really, cant see why anyone would watch it.
No fucks given about any of it, and i resent my time being so abused.

3 blowies and bumsex, if your significant other suggests you watch it.
To rate? 4/10. less than average.