The Movie Review Thread [Archive] - Page 8

Akzle

12th May 2016, 19:47

the worlds end

good on the whole. For what it is.
Funny, but hardly laugh a minute.
The last scene was irrelevant, not a good way to end a movie, that shits what people remember.

quote of the movie "fuck off ya big lamp"
6.5/10

bounty killer.

The first 5 minutes will tell you if it's yeah or nah for you. The remainder gets no less stupid.
But it's a watchable stupid.
Only ever cleavage, but it's nummy cleavage.

Fairly comparable to mad max 3, with less vehicular homicide and a fucking bootfull more blood packs (probably cgi, now, but lots of splat).
+ a lead hottie that doesnt look stupid weilding a firearm.
For what it is 9/10, as a movie, 7.

Jewtopia

0:35. Seems to be about my tolerance to pretend to give a fuck.
Supposed comedy, taking the piss out of the Jewish, but in a very Jewish way.
Which means that there were three giggles and exactly fuckall else for my half hour.
At a rate of 1 lol every 10 minutes, and exactly fuckall else, i decided against pursuing it. 1/10

R650R

15th May 2016, 22:27

Hateful 8, Tarantino classic. profuse use of the N word and the term crackerjack lol... 10/10 You kno its good when it doesn't feel as long as the three hours it is.

Hit and Run action/comedy. Some good jokes but let down by b grade actors.... watchable just

EJK

16th May 2016, 08:07

Glengarry Glen Ross.

Pushy salesmen version of Reservoir Dogs? I don't know. Don't understood the point of the movie much.

AllanB

16th May 2016, 19:04

i am legend

and where the fuck did the lions come from?
And fuel? power?. Muh.

Otherwise, a solid performance from bill and a script that mostly allows it. neat creature, weak enough ending that invites a sequel (127 weeks later style) probably best left at watch-once. 7.5/10

Yep - solid movie. And the lions came from the Zoo. There is always a zoo. Oddly the zoo enclosures always appear to be designed to open in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

I went to get a Blueray out on Saturday but discovered our local is closing down. Possibly due to that last Star Wars movie - it was so disappointing that people may have stopped hiring them........

Akzle

17th May 2016, 08:04

cuban fury

uninspired, throwaway chick flick i guess (imdb lists it as "romance sport comedy"). But enough man-lols for me to see it through it's mercifully short hour and a half.
christ knows why you'd cast a fat fuck for the role, his double had his bloody work cut out for him!
Wouldnt watch twice. Probably a date movie. 7/10

dr. No (i have now teh james bond box set, also was inspired to rewatch a'cos of austin powers. huzza.)
keeping in mind it's era, very well done, obviously before someone was employed to ensure continuity. Tyres squealing in a gravel car chase, mono dubbing, technicolor, and hell, sean looking young! What's not to like.
Fucking linear, and i doubt theres anyone who doesn't know/wouldnt guess the story, but as a snapshot of cinema, excellent. 8/10, bonus points cos it's old.

Akzle

17th May 2016, 08:14

Yep - solid movie. And the lions came from the Zoo. There is always a zoo. Oddly the zoo enclosures always appear to be designed to open in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

yeah so why werent the lions zombiefied
(african safari zombie movie idea copyright ax. Zombie giraffe for teh lulz.)

I went to get a Blueray out on Saturday but discovered our local is closing down. Possibly due to that last Star Wars movie - it was so disappointing that people may have stopped hiring them........

given that the franchise has been shit for, what, the last 4? decades. I really dont know what you were expecting to change.

HenryDorsetCase

17th May 2016, 08:25

i am legend

revisited this one. You really have to forget you've seen it before.

Mildly irrelevant opneing scene, infact, irrelevant and poorly executed cgi animals through. and where the fuck did the lions come from?
And fuel? power?. Muh.

Otherwise, a solid performace from bill and a script that mostly allows it. neat creature, weak enough ending that invites a sequel (127 weeks later style) probably best left at watch-once. 7.5/10

I AM LEGEND would have been a LOT better if they had stuck with the original ending. Its on the Blu Ray. Of course they focus group tested it and the punters (Americans) wanted a fucking Hollywood ending.

Here is the original last scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPSk30qzgFs

Akzle

17th May 2016, 18:49

don jon

pissed camera guy. does this fuck anyone else off as much as me?? which cunt started it? why do they keep doing it? everyone needs a boot in the crotch.

movie movie.... jesus only knows why or how i watched it to the bitter end (i'm blaming the porter).
i've already used the phrase "mercifully short" and this one is a true mercy (and shorter even, at 1:20) and thank fuck for that.
i hate the ambiguity of phrases like: "humorous, but not funny" but that pretty much tags it. this blend of genres doesn't.
guessing its supposed to be another date-flick, but i know no chick that would enjoy it.
and i cant be the only one to have no sympathy for anyone (character or no) with a noo joisey accent.

on the upside, linux.
also, good acting and aside from the drunk camera guy, well shot (not that there was much to fuck up)

all in: no.
4/10.

paycheck

trite, contrived, shit.
a straight-to-tv movie to give lonely people some excitement on new years day.
2.5/10, and that's all unfulfilled potential, cause the premise could have been done better. i almost hope they do a remake.

Kickaha

17th May 2016, 19:53

i am legend

revisited this one. You really have to forget you've seen it

I've been trying to

remake of a remake, version 2 the Omega man is better, I've yet to see the original "The Last Man on Earth

Akzle

18th May 2016, 08:58

I've been trying to

remake of a remake, version 2 the Omega man is better, I've yet to see the original "The Last Man on Earth

you have to be kidding..The last man on earth, Thats some old school vhs shit. Way more trad vampire (and "come out dave", "theres dave, get him" :lol:) and way too much soundtrack (though, par for the era)

havent seen omega man. Queued.
based on the same book were they?

No one lives

i struggle to use the word "thoughful" next to "slashfic"
.. but its not your average slashfic.
Grim bits, to be sure, but the film doesnt hinge on them (i mean, obviously, it does, but they're interspersed). Several hotties to oggle, well paced. No real surprises.
Positive, but nothing to really write home about 6.5/10

Akzle

18th May 2016, 09:03

I AM LEGEND would have been a LOT better if they had stuck with the original ending. Its on the Blu Ray. Of course they focus group tested it and the punters (Americans) wanted a fucking Hollywood ending.

Here is the original last scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPSk30qzgFs

mmmmmmmmmnope. No giraffe zombies there...
(also doesnt change how i feel about the film, and humanises the zombies too much)

mashman

18th May 2016, 09:38

mmmmmmmmmnope. No giraffe zombies there...
(also doesnt change how i feel about the film, and humanises the zombies too much)

WTF do you think they eat when the sun goes down? Tasty giraffe would be atop the menu shirley? Although, I'd cook the meat before eating it :eek:

Akzle

20th May 2016, 04:19

nothing left to fear.

The word for this movie is:
inconsiderate.

...every time you're just about to fall asleep, theres a loud noise to trick you into thinking something happens.
It doesn't.
Several scenes where it's out of genre, and the girls look great. The possessed sister does superlingly.
But mostly just crap.
3.5/10

Black Knight

20th May 2016, 12:01

Snowpiercer-Currently doing the rounds on Rialto-sort of Mad Maxish on a train.
Good lineup of actors,Tilda Swinton was great.Good story.9/10 for me.

Swoop

20th May 2016, 12:50

Well, this looks promising.

NOT a kids movie.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kyEEVUkHLRk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Akzle

20th May 2016, 19:45

open grave

no-one told the directors that "suspense" is not synonymous with "boring and drawn out"
fucking yawn fest. I cant put my finger on it right now, but it severely lacked what makes movies good. Y'know... Dialogue and script and editing and shit...
A different side to sharito, and he plays what he was given well, but fuuuuuuuuuuck, he wasnt given much.
Just, fucking poorly executed, it could have been done so much better.
4/10

AllanB

20th May 2016, 19:53

Akzle - do you not work? When do you get to watch all these movies? I hope you are paying for the service not doing those suspect downloads from the net.

Maha

20th May 2016, 20:02

Akzle - do you not work?

:killingme Wait WHAT! :brick:

Akzle

20th May 2016, 20:04

Akzle - do you not work? When do you get to watch all these movies? I hope you are paying for the service not doing those suspect downloads from the net.

you have to be kidding me, if i'd paid for half these <5s i would be going postal on the film crews.

Mostly illegal downloads/file sharing.

When do i get to? Whenever i feel like.
Do i not work? Yes. I also don't not work sometimes too.

AllanB

20th May 2016, 20:25

The mystery continues ..... some say he ...... ;)

Much to the disgust of my teenage children I have a issue with illegal downloads. I am against it. Ditto free music sharing.

It bothers me the activity will dilute the revenue of the movie/music companies to the point where they reduce their investment levels and just turn out crap after crap movie. Maybe it is happening already!

Then again I hear Daniel Craig has turned down 68 million or something to star as Bond in the next two movies. That's stupid money. To A. offer and B. turn down! But the act of turning it down implies his income from the preceding movies has set him up for life.

I want a job like that - and to be fair based on the just released average lifespan of a New Zealander (83 I think) I only have 39% of my life left so I'd be cheap to run.

HenryDorsetCase

20th May 2016, 20:30

Much to the disgust of my teenage children I have a issue with illegal downloads. I am against it. Ditto free music sharing.

It bothers me the activity will dilute the revenue of the movie/music companies to the point where they reduce their investment levels and just turn out crap after crap movie. .

I am kind of pleased the music industry has been gutted by "illegal" downloads. And I love music. But the music business? Awful.

I dont download music but mainly because I like THINGS. CD's. records. liner notes. expensive "collector" boxsets. Coloured vinyl. all that shit.

TV? download whatever I can.

I've thought about it a lot. Its because I have always paid for music. Scraping together my pocket moneys to buy records (or 7" singles) but TV has always just been ... there. Plus any industry that spawns a Paul Holmes, a Paul Henry, or a Batchelor, or any other unreality show deserves what it gets (760000 viewers apparently).

TV shows have never been better. TV networks have no clue.

Akzle

20th May 2016, 20:46

The mystery continues ..... some say he ...... ;)

Much to the disgust of my teenage children I have a issue with illegal downloads. I am against it. Ditto free music sharing.

my issue is not with actors, performers or content producers getting paid.
My issue is with jews. Sony especially, the amount of a 30 buck cd that went to the artist was dimunitive to say the least. While the CEOs were rolling in it.
Something like itunes (ignoring my anti-apple, anti-closed source proprietary, drm shit, just the distribution model) i could support - where the few bucks goes straight to the conent creators.
Also i have big issues with tens of millions of dollars in production costs when people are still dying of starvation, homeless, cancered and generally money-bullshittery.

AllanB

20th May 2016, 20:56

I've drunk too much tonight - I find myself agreeing with Akzle again. And we have previously agreed that Pacific Rim(job) is a crap movie.

FlangMasterJ

21st May 2016, 14:19

I just download torrents to my android phone then cast to my PS4 and watch on TV. I don't even have to move.

I watched The VVitch last night. It was pretty average. The ye old English dialogue was a little hard to follow but had a good amount of blood so not a total loss.

AllanB

21st May 2016, 17:40

I watched The VVitch last night. .

Isn't VVitch some fancy Honda cam arrangement ................

Akzle

21st May 2016, 17:48

Isn't VVitch some fancy Honda cam arrangement ................

no it's a veneral disease spread between homosexuals which causes an itch, a lot of noise and not a lot else, so they named it after honda's V-tec.
The Veneral Vtec itch.

Swoop

21st May 2016, 18:55

I am kind of pleased the music industry has been gutted by "illegal" downloads.
People fail to recognise that the issue isn't with "downloading".

The only issue that the "industry" has, is with the payment for viewing.
They honestly couldn't give a rat's arse if it wasn't for the NZ Roubles not appearing in their bank accounts.

WristTwister

21st May 2016, 19:09

This looks really good, Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling, in 1978 :lol:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxW4LZCYfvs

Akzle

22nd May 2016, 14:44

review - /rɪˈvjuː/ noun 1. a formal assessment of something with the intention
of instituting change if necessary.
2. a critical appraisal of a book, play, film, etc. published
in a newspaper or magazine.

Just sayin...

Akzle

22nd May 2016, 15:16

red dawn

i cant help but lol. This is the shit americunts do around the world every day, so we're supposed to sympathise with the protagonists now?

Anyway. Quick action flick, non-believable, no surprises. Lots of bullets.. Done well.
6.5/10

crawlspace

low budget? ozzie flick, not terribly thrilling and with some characters that felt more like apendicies that characters (they get killed off) and some fairly forced dialogue.
an original idea, well enough put together, another one i'd like to see a more refined blockbuster remake of.
Still good for 7/10

my awkward sexual adventure

rom-com. Thankfully more com than rom. Drags a bit. (pun intended), not for everyone.
6/10

Kickaha

22nd May 2016, 17:13

red dawn

i cant help but lol. This is the shit americunts do around the world every day, so we're supposed to sympathise with the protagonists now?

Anyway. Quick action flick, non-believable, no surprises. Lots of bullets.. Done well.
6.5/10

The original or the remake?

I haven't seen the remake but the original was a bit average

Akzle

22nd May 2016, 17:52

The original or the remake?

I haven't seen the remake but the original was a bit average

2012 so im picking remake.
This was a bit average too.

Edit. I see theres 1990 and 1984 versions as well...

R650R

28th May 2016, 22:06

An excellent foreign language film, In Order Of Disappearance.

Black comedy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0tMPcv3a3I

HenryDorsetCase

28th May 2016, 22:41

An excellent foreign language film, In Order Of Disappearance.

Black comedy.

Seconded. Some lovely camera shots too of blood on snow.

THE NICE GUYS.

Its OK. Gos gets the better lines. Rusty is good (but he looks fat and old). the daughter is excellent.

Bonus ta tas.

7.5/10

Akzle

30th May 2016, 18:09

ah, been a bit slack on me writeups.

Hunt for the vvilderpeople. (paid 20 bob at the pictures, even)
Just call me sam!

Laugh out loud. A gruff sam neill. Kinda half finished sub/side stories though. Knives way too short to be stabbing pigs with. The most inefficient possum plucking i've everr seen. Whoever fact/continuity checked it didn't deserve paying. And are our urban youth still talking like that?? Lingo hasnt changed in in mumblemumble years...
Some scenes bought back memories of reading the book. Majestical scenery and filmed well. but pretty linear even if you didnt know the story.
Lots of lol though, so 7.5+/10

gangster squad
pretty much your usual hollywood shootemup just 50s themed. Couple gruesome mob kills which didn't fit the thing.
Completely forgettable. 4/10

cant even think what else.

Akzle

31st May 2016, 14:04

R650R

3rd June 2016, 22:52

DeadPool is dead fkn cool. 10/10

Some great one liners

4th June 2016, 21:05

DeadPool is dead fkn cool. 10/10

Some great one liners

Agreed. Watched in Friday night. Lots of laughs and entertaining fight scenes.

5ive

5th June 2016, 00:50

+1 for DeadPool, raising the benchmark for comic book based adult movies.

May we have more similar, and stop the trend of dumbing them down just for family friendly ratings.

5ive

5th June 2016, 02:06

well, if all you homos can ignore the definition of "movie" AND "review"... today i will be ignoring "movie"

Generation Kill (series, no doubt available on teh internets)

had this foisted on me by a close friend and ally.
compelling is too strong a word, but something (bad weed and red beers) keeps me watching.
it's slow. it's boring. it's fucking pointless. it has running "jokes" that aren't fucking funny.

it kinda really is 'a day in the life of'/ reality tv. and as such, is crap.

fuck knows why they bothered making it. I assume it gets to some kind of point at the end but fucked if i'm going to find out.
and every episode is a fucking hour long.
3/10

Well, being the heterosexual that I am, I'll not ignore your 'review', and will in fact offer a slightly different opinion of the series. Wish I was gayer and could ignore it, but I can't :msn-wink:

I do think that if you would revisit it without the weed and beers, and some context which I'll provide, you may have a different experience of it. It's all subjective though, you may just not like Americans or war. All power to you, and everyone has different tastes of course.

For any one else wanting an alternative review of Generation Kill, well I'll leave this for you.

Here are the facts:

Generation Kill is a television series based on a book which was written by a writer for the 'Rolling Stone' magazine named Evan Wright. He was a normal civilian who actually went to Iraq at the start of the US invasion in 2003, where he pretty much joined the front line with the soldiers of the recon force who travelled in very lightly armoured Humvees, and were tasked with leading the assault, and who provided intel for the main fighting force behind them. These guys were totally alone, and not in any way able to fight the Iraq army. They just went forward and found the opposition, before waiting, or retreating depending on the strength facing them. They came under heavy fire, and were also dealing some damage themselves, or calling it in. Lot's of Iraqi soldiers and civilians died during this time in view or close proximity to them (by their hand or others).

My review:

The tv series takes the book and does the normal hollywood crap and makes it palatable to a common audience to make money, but unlike other US based films or television about American wars, Generation Kill is a little more sincere than what has come before.

The series isn't so much as "Fuck yeah! America!", it's actually more of a time capsule for popular culture, and social awareness for this period of time (2003), but obviously American based culture. It focuses on the people involved in the war, and actually displays a conscious about war and politics during this time period.

It's a gritty, true to life drama based around a normal person who gets involved in, and observes a war first hand, whilst becoming entrenched within a group of people he relies on to keep him alive, but also might kill him in the process.

It's slow and boring if you like American based war films like: Transformers or the Avengers, but if you want some story with your plot, which is based in reality, then this slow burning journey will introduce most of it's characters within a short time frame, but have you have to endure a gruelling 7 episodes of almost an hour each, with almost death around each corner for these people who some of you will actually grow to like.

War isn't fun or fast, this series is true to life. It borders on documentary at times, but speeds things up due to Production/broadcast pressure.

Great acting, authentic military gear, tactics, behaviour, pop-culture at the time, and some of the actors are the real soldiers who actually invaded Iraq, and if you have not seen this series, you may recognise some actors from further film and television work since.

9/10 - a modern day 'Band of Brothers' without the hype.

Akzle

5th June 2016, 07:43

War isn't fun or fast, this series is true to life. It borders on documentary at times, but speeds things up due to Production/broadcast pressure.

slow burning implies theres some spark or flame.

While i can generally agree with the above snip, on the whole, it's just fucking pointless.
I dont want to "endure" my entertainment.

HenryDorsetCase

5th June 2016, 10:45

+1 for DeadPool, raising the benchmark for comic book based adult movies.

May we have more similar, and stop the trend of dumbing them down just for family friendly ratings.

unlikely. Those big tentpole movies need a mass audience and you can't alienate a large chunk of the movie ticket buying public (boys 12 -18) with an R rating.

With DEADPOOL, they always knew it was going to be R rated. So bonus Morena Baccarin tits and off colour jokes. Plus they had no money and alooooong time to work on the script. Result: best comic book movie ever. Even better than DREDD.

DEADPOOL 2 has been greenlit you will be pleased to know.

Re-watched SOURCE CODE (Duncan Jones directs, Jake Gyllenhall, Michelle Monahan). Superb time travel sci fi thriller. Absolutely brilliant and 10/10.

HenryDorsetCase

5th June 2016, 10:47

Well, being the heterosexual that I am, I'll not ignore your 'review', and will in fact offer a slightly different opinion of the series. Wish I was gayer and could ignore it, but I can't :msn-wink:

I do think that if you would revisit it without the weed and beers, and some context which I'll provide, you may have a different experience of it. It's all subjective though, you may just not like Americans or war. All power to you, and everyone has different tastes of course.

For any one else wanting an alternative review of Generation Kill, well I'll leave this for you.

Here are the facts:

Generation Kill is a television series based on a book which was written by a writer for the 'Rolling Stone' magazine named Evan Wright. He was a normal civilian who actually went to Iraq at the start of the US invasion in 2003, where he pretty much joined the front line with the soldiers of the recon force who travelled in very lightly armoured Humvees, and were tasked with leading the assault, and who provided intel for the main fighting force behind them. These guys were totally alone, and not in any way able to fight the Iraq army. They just went forward and found the opposition, before waiting, or retreating depending on the strength facing them. They came under heavy fire, and were also dealing some damage themselves, or calling it in. Lot's of Iraqi soldiers and civilians died during this time in view or close proximity to them (by their hand or others).

My review:

The tv series takes the book and does the normal hollywood crap and makes it palatable to a common audience to make money, but unlike other US based films or television about American wars, Generation Kill is a little more sincere than what has come before.

The series isn't so much as "Fuck yeah! America!", it's actually more of a time capsule for popular culture, and social awareness for this period of time (2003), but obviously American based culture. It focuses on the people involved in the war, and actually displays a conscious about war and politics during this time period.

It's a gritty, true to life drama based around a normal person who gets involved in, and observes a war first hand, whilst becoming entrenched within a group of people he relies on to keep him alive, but also might kill him in the process.

It's slow and boring if you like American based war films like: Transformers or the Avengers, but if you want some story with your plot, which is based in reality, then this slow burning journey will introduce most of it's characters within a short time frame, but have you have to endure a gruelling 7 episodes of almost an hour each, with almost death around each corner for these people who some of you will actually grow to like.

War isn't fun or fast, this series is true to life. It borders on documentary at times, but speeds things up due to Production/broadcast pressure.

Great acting, authentic military gear, tactics, behaviour, pop-culture at the time, and some of the actors are the real soldiers who actually invaded Iraq, and if you have not seen this series, you may recognise some actors from further film and television work since.

9/10 - a modern day 'Band of Brothers' without the hype.

GENERATION KILL is brilliant. The book is excellent, and so is Nate's book.

Akzle is full of shit - his attention span has been ruined so he needs a crib sheet of who is who and what is what to understand whats going on.

OddDuck

5th June 2016, 16:39

+1 on the Generation Kill books. Particular reference to the interplay between the two stories, if you read them back to back - Captain Fick's literate account is very careful to skip over an awful lot of the stuff that Wright focuses on, but gives more technical detail of what happens and why. The TV series is a lot better once you've read them and know a bit more about the stuff going on.

Akzle

7th June 2016, 21:43

nope. GK is poos.

meanwhile
Prince of Persia

gylenhaaaaaaaal in something a bit different.

stuppid, jovial. not listed as a comedy but some funny anyway (in that lame dad-joke kinda way). family flick, i guess.
no great surprises, or great anything, actually.
but nifty with the time-shifty, camel jockeys doing jumpy stabby spinny shit, and horse drifting.

meh
6/10

Akzle

7th June 2016, 21:58

Halo (4 forward until dawn)
shit.
don't know how many minutes i made but it was sub 10.

blues blothers 2000
not the first time i've seen it. doesn't have the same sex as the first. but fairly worth it. 7.5/10

die another day
seen it before, but it was long enough ago /+ forgettable enough that it was new.

hallie's jubblies. that's about it.
formulaic bond.
7/10

the cannonball run 3
still haven't seen the second. first time i've seen this.
just as lulz at the first. 8/10

memphis belle
00:14:00
no.

HenryDorsetCase

7th June 2016, 22:19

EYE IN THE SKY

great cast, tight script, no winners, builds tension really well. One bit is a bit lame but you can kind of imagine the Poms doing the hand wringing.

I really liked it. Helen Mirren, Alan Rickman, Aaron Paul very good.

9/10

Crasherfromwayback

7th June 2016, 22:42

Seconded. Some lovely camera shots too of blood on snow.

Thirded. Have you cats seen Headhunters? Fucking great film.

<iframe width="854" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/z4bA3gbZxDM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Akzle

8th June 2016, 07:31

looper

brilliant. On the whole.
At times felt like a few different stories/styles/movies were mashed together.
The three different times were handled somewhat inelegantly.
But generally, pretty awesome. 9/10

Jin

8th June 2016, 07:44

Did a 3 evening session watching lord of the rings. Hard to believe it's over 12 years old now. Still amazing and glad i saw them in the big screen.

Akzle

9th June 2016, 18:55

branded

it's like... they chucked a whole lot of ideas into a blender with no lid, then scraped off everything that stuck to the floor and ceiling, spliced it together and ran with that.

it's missing the wall bits.

i couldn't help but picture my penis in the lead vag's face hole the whole time.

not that she wasn't up to the acting, that shit was superb
(the guy, too, probably moreso)
just that there was so much gap to be filled (pun intended), and she's incredibly attractive.

rather disjointed (as blender analogy) but some kind of coherent.s

pretty artful, on the whole, with a "society is stupid" theme to boot.

8/10

Akzle

10th June 2016, 09:57

cloud atlas

what, like, 5 movies in the blender...
I get the whole "history never repeats but often rhymes" and "souls persist through the ages" but at the end of it it still felt a bit nebulous.

Superlative acting from everyone involved, and on their own the five threads are brilliant in themselves,
but the "link" is fairly tenuous and disjointed, in that they don't progress together. In saying that, they twist through each other fairly seamlessly.

Oh, it's also 3 hours long and could do with an intermission or 2, but the pace is pretty driven and there's no lull that would allow it.
On the whole, thoroughly enjoyable. 9/10:corn:

AllanB

10th June 2016, 19:26

Looper - I agree -great movie.

Lord of the Rings - I wonder if it was not made in NZ by Sir Peter if we would rate it so much as a nation? Me, I found it boring rubbish. Yeah yeah good effects, but if I am ever in need of a instant sleep, 5 minutes of these movies will send me off.

Akzle

10th June 2016, 19:36

Lord of the Rings - I wonder if it was not made in NZ by Sir Peter if we would rate it so much as a nation? Me, I found it boring rubbish. Yeah yeah good effects, but if I am ever in need of a instant sleep, 5 minutes of these movies will send me off.

short people walking up a hill for 9 hours, dilligaf.

i only saw one, and it was that long ago (probably when it was released) and the drudgery still echoes.
and I remember the dwarf thing smashing his axe, and then saying "with my axe" - in one piece.
so poorly done, to boot.
LOTR is shit.

mada

11th June 2016, 01:45

Looking forward to December when this finally comes out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FWtcorm7hA

Akzle

11th June 2016, 14:14

Red Tails

pretty much a (very) average yank war flick, just with a chocolate twist.
in saying that, darkie funnies are funnier than whitey funnies, but still, this shit aint that funny.
and like a twin jet couldn't close on a single prop, please. WAY overdone dog fights. which for a third of the movie, is inexcusable (the other third is a shitty love story, the other is black jibes and ass-patting airmen)

was there not a lot happening in 2012? every fucking movie is 2 hours long!
this one, reeeeeeallllyy not worth it unless you're prepared to set your banjo and brain aside, blaze a huge fucking cone and just mung it.

3/10, fucken jews wasting my time.

Akzle

11th June 2016, 17:03

A piquant movie you say? how about THE COOK THE THIEF HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER?

tits are good. better than good in fact

pi·quant (pē′kənt, -känt′, pē-känt′)
adj.
1. Pleasantly pungent or tart in taste; spicy.
2. Appealingly provocative; charming: a piquant wit; a piquant face.

those are not piquant tits.
and given how little of the movie they make up anyway...

that movie's pretty shit. 3/10

loses points for the annoying and irrelevant, but persistent singing kid, the ignorant monologue (which is basically the whole script), and... well, everything.

gets points for the imagery and costume.

Akzle

14th June 2016, 20:16

premium rush

well, despite being about fucking c*clists... lulz a plenty, styley with the overlays, starts strong but kinda fizzles in the middle (bike chase≠car chase) and gets to the point of overplaying the graphics, but picks up for an acceptable if silly finalé.

eeeep. 7.25/10

OddDuck

14th June 2016, 20:57

Ex Machina.

Odd wee film, four characters (and only three do any real talking), disturbing but very good.

Bright young man wins a contest: test an A.I. to see if it can pass as human. The testing is to take place at his employer's luxurious but remote house, in a climate of near total secrecy and security.

There's a maid, who doesn't seem to talk much. Apart from her it's just him and his very wealthy, slightly unsettling boss. And the A.I., of course.

Effects are flawless, the look of the machine - Ava - is perfect. So is the cinematography, score, lighting, the house itself is a stunning setpiece... the whole movie is a masterclass in moviemaking.

What you watch when you want to see something challenging. 8.5 / 10.

Akzle

14th June 2016, 21:17

Ex Machina.

Odd wee film, four characters (and only three do any real talking), disturbing as hell, but very good. What you watch when you want to see something challenging. 8.5 / 10.

interesting review. i give it 4/10.

...your review, that is.

OddDuck

17th June 2016, 21:30

The Wolfman.

Ohhhh boy. Del Toro, Hopkins, Weaving and the ever-charming Blunty probably don't mention this one much these days.

It's a werewolf flick. That's not a spoiler, they've put Wolfie right there on the cover, complete with oh-so-necessary huge full moon as backdrop. This is about as subtle as this movie gets, anywhere from start to finish.

Sledgehammer score? Check. Requisite chases through gloomy, foggy woodland? Check. Superstitious villagers forming lynch mobs with torches? Check. Yep, actual lynch mobs with torches.

Of course there's a mansion. Of course the family in it have a chequered history filled with tragedy and loss. Of course it's all set up as a classic Victorian adventurer's pad, complete with stuffed lions, elephant guns, and a Hindu manservant. In fact it'd be hard to find a werewolf / Victorian London cliche that doesn't turn up. They even mention the Ripper in passing, but by the time that happens I realised what was going on and I started getting into it.

It's shit. But it's hilarious shit. I started laughing myself silly about the scene that The Beast carves up a circle of would-be trappers and makes absolute mincemeat of the lot of them. Fuck, I haven't laughed this hard at a movie in years. Once the viewer realises that the ridiculous crap on screen is deliberate, it's fucking great. Perfect for a Friday night after a bad week at work, especially if you've had a bevvy or two.

No bewbs, sorry, although Blunty does a back-to-cam topless scene for about three seconds. Oo.

AllanB

17th June 2016, 22:14

Just watch Deadpool. Most excellent.

Very much enjoyed the references to previous movies - anyone notice the junk 'freighter' was the air ship that was bombed to shit in the Avengers movie? Clever references like this through the movie.

Great mixture of action, stunts, blood and killing, tits, humor and bikes. 10/10 I feel the need to actually purchase a Blueray for the collection.

EJK

17th June 2016, 22:38

Akzle

18th June 2016, 11:29

Hey Akzle I have a task for you.

Recommend me a really decent horror movie that's actually well made and that'll drive Chuck Norris under the bed shitting his pants.

Here are the requirements
1. Must be scary, not gory (like Conjuring 2, Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity. No blood and violence gut spewing type horror)
2. Actors are smart. I.e. Stupid bitch and dumb ass actors running towards the mysterious sound and gets themselves killed e.g. Scream series, Final Destination series, Wax house etc. No fucking idiot actors.
3. Must be actually well made, like "Oh, that film was actually pretty well made! Not bad..." type of feedback.

Go.

have a go on occulus. That was the last one i saw so fresh to mind.

Not reeeeaaally scary, but very well done.
If you want really scary, watch tv1 at 6pm.
Or parliament tv, with the knowledge that you and the rest of the country are supporting those infantile beneficiaries. THAT shit's scary.

Akzle

18th June 2016, 11:38

wristcutters a love story.

This is so fucking indie, and not a little bit emo, and i really want to dislike it, but it's gnawing away at my mind like a carnivorous earwig.

Im trying to come up with an original metaphor for slow burning... It's like... Watching battery acid burn through your hand. It tickles, it hurts a bit, but watching it seems like a better idea than washing it off.

Engaging cinema, great characters (except that mop that covers half the lead's face, that thing is heinous). Original, in execution if not plot, which in this age is surprising.

T&a:0, car chases:0, guns:0

Somehow, recommend. THIS may qualify for piquant.
Score.... 8/10. Gratuitous nudity and a fuck scene wouldn't have killed it.

AllanB

18th June 2016, 20:06

Hey Akzle I have a task for you.

Recommend me a really decent horror movie that's actually well made and that'll drive Chuck Norris under the bed shitting his pants.

Here are the requirements
1. Must be scary, not gory (like Conjuring 2, Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity. No blood and violence gut spewing type horror)
2. Actors are smart. I.e. Stupid bitch and dumb ass actors running towards the mysterious sound and gets themselves killed e.g. Scream series, Final Destination series, Wax house etc. No fucking idiot actors.
3. Must be actually well made, like "Oh, that film was actually pretty well made! Not bad..." type of feedback.

Go.

Try The Haunting in Connecticut. knowing it is based on a true story makes it creepier. First viewing gave me a couple of 'raise the hairs on your neck' experience. Not had that in a movie for a long time. Turn off the lights pump up the volume and enjoy.

FlangMasterJ

20th June 2016, 10:18

The Count of Monte Cristo

One of those movies that I always go back to. I was watching it thinking is this the guy from Superman but that'd make him 40+ then Henry Cavill turns up as Edmond's son halfway through. :facepalm:

A real feel good film.

8/10

Stirts

20th June 2016, 10:34

Deadpool by far the best movie I have seen in a while... the opening credits set the scene :killingme , but this scene alone was enough to make me wee

https://fsmedia.imgix.net/0d/33/d7/47/f3cd/41c7/a23e/eeb08eeac0af/mini-hand.gif?dpr=1&auto=format&q=75

Akzle

20th June 2016, 22:46

the unborn

perhaps a new record 06:30
neat images, but shit.

Akzle

20th June 2016, 22:47

dark skies

meh. fucken meh.
4/10

FlangMasterJ

21st June 2016, 00:02

Who caught the latest episode of Game of Thrones? That was the greatest hour of television I've seen.

10/10

Drew

21st June 2016, 07:33

Fucken shoot me, Christ it's bad.

AllanB

21st June 2016, 19:00

Fucken shoot me, Christ it's bad.

Yep - I read the plot lines, looked at the ahem 'stars' and wrote it off waiting for a KB review. You have sealed it for me.

The original was awesome. I may watch it again (lost count now!)

pritch

21st June 2016, 21:33

Who caught the latest episode of Game of Thrones? That was the greatest hour of television I've seen.

10/10

I'll second that.

pete376403

21st June 2016, 21:33

Who caught the latest episode of Game of Thrones? That was the greatest hour of television I've seen.

10/10

The battle scene was pretty intense - and the ending - wow.

WristTwister

21st June 2016, 21:50

The Conjuring 2 - a horror movie done right, I think it's better than the first.:jerry:

Finding Dory - pixar family movies are all good, Dory is no different and was better than I expected

Cell - based on a stephen king novel, stars Samuel L Jackson, but it's laughably awful.

HenryDorsetCase

22nd June 2016, 08:07

have a go on occulus. That was the last one i saw so fresh to mind.

Not reeeeaaally scary, but very well done.
If you want really scary, watch tv1 at 6pm.
Or parliament tv, with the knowledge that you and the rest of the country are supporting those infantile beneficiaries. That shit's scary.

cabin in the woods?

EJK

22nd June 2016, 08:31

The Conjuring 2 - a horror movie done right, I think it's better than the first.:jerry:

Agree, it was enjoyable to watch. Quite actually well made! Did make me jump scare a couple of times.

FlangMasterJ

22nd June 2016, 10:54

Watched Unbreakable again. An M. Night Shamalamadingdong film with Bruce Willis and Sam Jackson. It's a really good spin on a comic book/super hero story.

9/10

Akzle

22nd June 2016, 18:21

-edits- nevermindee, i see there's a new one.

cabin in the woods?

it sounds like shit. if it's the movie im remembering. and since you've recommended it, that means it probably is.

FlangMasterJ

22nd June 2016, 18:30

*the* cell?
with the hugest of asses?
it's brilliant.

Nah not the J Lo one.

Akzle

22nd June 2016, 18:58

the social network

poos. asides from not giving a fuck about the subject matter, that dweeb actor is fucking droll.

04:30

R650R

22nd June 2016, 21:18

Speed Sisters. This is well worth watching.

Nicely done doco of some eye candy gymkana? style drifting in the arab hood. Plenty of real life drama and tension including the Blondie getting shot in the arse with tear gas round!
Also an interesting insight to life under occupation as a sidebar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNC9FAtHkyU

mada

22nd June 2016, 21:29

Quite liked these Shakespeare adaptions

MacBeth 2015
Fassbender plays the role of power hungry psychopath and broken man perfectly, while Marion Cotillard as Lady Macbeth is equally compelling.

8/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqHhKuCQmoY

Coriolanus 2012

The soldier who is not corrupt and arguably not after power but just doesn't fit in.... and has a hissy when things dont go his way.
Ralph Fiennes directed and stars as Coriolanus with Gerard Butler as Aufidius.

8/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uauSpPHlSFY

Not Shakespeare

Beowulf and Grendel 2005
Bit of a shit version of the tale of Beowulf and Grendel but entertaining nonetheless. Fricken love the Vendel age armor and battle gear. A few crack up moments in it. Again stars our mate Gerard Butler. Still better than most the crap hitting movie theatres at moment.

7/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4yPHR8PqME

Virago

24th June 2016, 18:51

Independence Day Resurgence.

Went to the opening night of this last night. Pre-booked our tickets to beat the crushing hordes. Total number of people in the theatre - 30.

Action - non-stop. Special effects - pretty good. Plot / story line - crap. Characters - bland and non-engaging.

It could have been so much better, quite disappointing.

4/10.

AllanB

26th June 2016, 12:43

The Revenant

I watched this award winning movie last night.

Thoughts.

Yes, very well acted,
Yes, very well shot,
Yes the setting was beautiful - in a snow covered desolate way

Story - nothing new here people. Shades of Dances with Wolves and most Clint Eastwood revenge westerns.

In fact Clints 1992 movie Unforgiven is my preference - it is a very good Western, revenge movie.

Still - it is a fine movie, Leonardo DiCaprio is a superb actor.

Jin

26th June 2016, 12:53

AllanB

26th June 2016, 13:29

I just rewatched Unforgiven a few weeks ago myself and it is work of art. The bar scene at the end is brilliant. Revenent was boring. A scary bear and pretty backdrops dont make a movie.

Agree - I kept thinking it must have been a quiet year at the movies in 2015.

The Hurtlocker.

I finally caught up with this award winner a week back. Another good movie. But possibly another quiet year? a good watch but I probably won;t be revisiting it.

R650R

30th June 2016, 22:17

Hunt for the Wilder people Awesome kiwi as flick 10/10

Well worth seeing at theatre, go see it.

mashman

2nd July 2016, 22:21

Independence Day: Resurgence. Change Resurgence to Bigger, and you pretty much get the idea.

6/10 for the pretty lights and boom stuff.

Drew

3rd July 2016, 06:09

Central Intelligence.

I laughed most of the way through. Nothing I'd see twice, but it was good to go see with the kids.

Akzle

5th July 2016, 19:41

winter of frozen dreams

i didn't realise this was IRL until after. doesn't really make a difference though, it's still pretty arse
3/10

the abandoned

better than you'd expect. or. better than i expected. some beaut shots. and for a low budget? film with no-name actors, delivers.
a shame they couldn't have cast a hotter lead. and naked.
bit ee intrigue with the story. refreshing.
doesn't rely on "boo" but does abuse shaky-camera which is supposed to be scary but is actually just fucken annoying.

worth a once. 7.75/10

the unborn

nooooope. < 10:00

you kill me

again, better than expected. it would help, that xman doesn't try to be an afri-stralian "kiwi" with thar makaw. i think i prefer him like this.
drama, i think they'd call it. idles along fair amiably. punctuated with a chuckle or two, but wholly uninventive.

7/10

after earth

why would they even try putting on accents. tweens movie i'd say. did someone mention uninventive? that's this stery line all over. neat environs and some* points for creature, but just fucking irrelevant all the way through.
5.5/10

*not fucken many

accepted

american comedy. so...: not actually that funny
...but well enough that i watched it through.
6/10

three amigos

so... mel brooks fucked a tranny up the arse and this is the camp shit s/he laid the next day. boo and hiss.
3/10

ali g in da house

revisited this (saw when released). a big bowl of meh. has sacha baren cowen done anything worth rememboring? (typo, or pun...)
4/10

FlangMasterJ

5th July 2016, 22:08

^ Stop torturing yourself.

husaberg

5th July 2016, 22:18

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-57088-isla-fisher-hot-wink-smile-gif-SXoW.gif

RGVforme

5th July 2016, 22:22

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-57088-isla-fisher-hot-wink-smile-gif-SXoW.gif

Over 20 years old not really your demographic is it Husapedo......:facepalm:

Akzle

6th July 2016, 03:04

^ Stop torturing yourself.

as a consenting adult... it's my choice innit

FlangMasterJ

6th July 2016, 13:20

Well if you are into self abuse Akzle check out Marauders (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3963816/)

Akzle

6th July 2016, 16:34

Hey Akzle I have a task for you.

have you seen the human centipede?

achtung: cannot be unseen. and more "twisted" and "ick" than horriffic.
although, that a human mind can come up with shit like that...

Akzle

6th July 2016, 16:40

Well if you are into self abuse Akzle check out Marauders (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3963816/)

bruce willisman! what could possibly go wrong?

Crasherfromwayback

7th July 2016, 16:37

I liked this more than I thought I would. 8/10.

<iframe width="854" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/saHzng8fxLs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

FlangMasterJ

7th July 2016, 17:24

^ Very good film. John Goodman is great in it.

Crasherfromwayback

7th July 2016, 17:29

^ Very good film. John Goodman is great in it.

Yeah he is, and I'm no fan.

Akzle

7th July 2016, 20:01

Akzle

7th July 2016, 20:14

Crasherfromwayback

8th July 2016, 11:48

cat run

a pretty grim comedy. not sure how to feel about it. well put togother, lots of funny bits, lots of shootey bits, some nasty bits. whores, tits.

the nasty kinda killed the levity for me. but the production was great. and tits.
7/10.

cat run

a pretty grim comedy. not sure how to feel about it. well put togother, lots of funny bits, lots of shootey bits, some nasty bits. whores, tits.

the nasty kinda killed the levity for me. but the production was great. and tits.
7/10.

So you've seen it twice then? At least you're consistent! :bleh:

EJK

8th July 2016, 11:51

have you seen the human centipede?

achtung: cannot be unseen. and more "twisted" and "ick" than horriffic.
although, that a human mind can come up with shit like that...

Haha.... Sadly yes... When is Part 3 coming out? Is it out yet?

Independence Day: Resurgence

Sequel to my childhood fav movie. Overall I enjoyed it very much. Had a lot of Pacific Rim feel to it tho.

7/10

Akzle

8th July 2016, 12:46

District 13 Ultimatum

this is the sequel to the one before it...
designed by senõr Besson, it's in frog and for some reason was overdubbed by strayans who don't always hit the mark.
that said, it's funny.
a bit mirrors edge, lots of parkour (neat), lots of kung faux, spinny kicky flippy shit. tidy hand to hand.
not entirely mindless action though no surprises.
tune out, spark up and enjoy
8/10

Akzle

8th July 2016, 12:53

Akzle

8th July 2016, 12:55

i am srsly!

what the fuck cunt.

Akzle

8th July 2016, 19:07

chernobyl diaries.

i watched it through. and now regret it. the kind of regret that is going to eat away at my soul for years. i'll be warning my grandkids about making the most of their precious time, and my eyes will glaze over as i remember this exact moment. they will get bored and go off to play and it wont be until dusk, or tea time, when me ol' gal will come wrap a blanket round me and shuffle me off the porch and out of my reverie...

filmed on a vhs handycam.
being set in russia is not the same as having atmosphere.
factual fuckups a plenty (sitting inside a car with the light on and looking out into the night, rly??)
they seem to achieve a lot of dying at night but somehow while away the days.

stupid. so fucking stupid.
2/10

Akzle

9th July 2016, 13:44

bait.

zomg!!!11011!

best movie ever and everyone should watch it a million times

...is what no-one will ever say about it, because it's SOOOOOOO shitty.

I started watching it once, and tuned out after 5mins because it was arse. then i went back and read the tag line:

A freak tsunami traps shoppers at a coastal Australian supermarket inside the building - along with 12-foot Great White Sharks.
and thought "fuck yes!, game on!"

but they completely failed to capitalise on the ridiculousity of the premise, instead taking itself srsly and making some shit-arse hour and a half of utter horseshit.

half the actors had talent, believable characters, good at their job types. the other half were shit.
and all of them were given the lamest script and shittest direction i believe i've ever had the misfortune to witness.
i would rather have kicked puppies than seen this. and i like puppies.

1/10

Akzle

9th July 2016, 13:52

waiting

forgotten i'd seen it, but scrolling through my meeewvies.

funny. do watch.
8/10

WristTwister

9th July 2016, 15:16

Stupid fun comedy, but it might not be to everyone's taste. I thought the plot was familiar (read: Isn't that the plot from Sione's Wedding?). Two bros are complete diks and need to get their act together if they want to attend another family function (a wedding!). So they find themselves some "respectable" female dates to make them seem more respectable. *shakes head* but they aren't respectable and yeah silliness results.:doobey:

Akzle

9th July 2016, 20:39

Hide

most of this movie happens in the last 20 minutes. unfortunately you have to endure the first hour, which is a lot like dreaming through treacle... a bit disjointed, you know it's going somewhere but cant find the "hurry the fuck up" button.

but at the end. good. not fucken good. just regular good.
superbly acted. neat scenes, camera's mounted on tripods!!!10011!, bit over-framed through the biff scenes but that's a "feature" of modern filmage.
have people just run out of bugdet or something? this two-actor film thing could be a genre of itself.

7.5/10

AllanB

9th July 2016, 21:23

Watched Fight Club again last night.

It was, is, and will continue to be a most excellent movie. 10/10

OddDuck

9th July 2016, 22:59

Tried watching Mortdecai. Not often you see names like Depp, Paltrow and McGregor signing on for a fuck-up of this scale... it's a world-class turkey, or at least the first seven minutes are. Tries very hard to be funny and engaging, utterly fails at both. Seven minutes is as far as I got.

Rewatched Sicario instead. Not really a small-screen or repeat watch movie but it's still awesome.

Akzle

18th July 2016, 09:44

butterfly on a wheel
weeeeeeell.
a highly strung hour and a half, makes for engaging, if not-actually *good* watching.
famouses (brosnan, maria bello, gertard butler)
a few forced bits, but generally well put together, some great filming.
7.5/10

Street Kings
didn't watch again but have seen. remember it as being good but will re-view for science.

Wasabi
it's frog. and i watched it overdubbed in english. would probably recommend subtitles instead.
hawt little azn, johnny reno. japponaise mafia.
predictable, throw-away entertainer.
for what it is 8/10.

Universal Soldier Day of reckoning
i must have completely missed the point of Universal Soldier, or this is fucking irrelevant.
a discombobulated series of john-cloud directed fight scenes, interspersed with splashy ultraviolence and a dose of epilepsy.
pretty much devoid of the cohesion required to call it a movie.
scott adkins does well as the lead. john-cloud is almost irrelevant, which is sad because he's the original unisol.
dolf-bigface McIQ-4 just jumped on because, well, what the fuck else can he do.
errrrp... 4/10. can't recomend

HenryDorsetCase

18th July 2016, 20:38

Has anyone seen new GHOSTBUSTERS?

Its got 73% at Rotten Tomatoes.

I love the original. They may get me on a cheap night. (thats what all the girls say)

STAR TREK BEYOND next week I think.

HenryDorsetCase

18th July 2016, 20:40

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA

I was BORN ready for this.

again. About once a year or so.

John Carpenter CLASSIC.

Kurt Russel is watchable in anything.

pete376403

18th July 2016, 21:16

Rewatched Sicario instead. Not really a small-screen or repeat watch movie but it's still awesome.

Sicario is good. Lead female character was annoying, but that's just part of the story.

Akzle

20th July 2016, 18:08

the backup plan

chicky flick, certainly one you wouldn't watch with the boys, or probably even by yourself. but it has funnies, and j-lo, so you wont regret watching it with your chick of choice.

6.5/10

towelhead

this really should be in a post of it's own. it's truly a stand-apart flick (one for crasher maybe...)
grown ups time, for sure. this isn't to be viewed lightly, even though it wasn't presented as especially dark, and sprinkled with comedic elements, it still treads some srs IRL ground.

i feel it manages to get the perspective right, which is rare: a child dealing with (mostly pretty shitty) adults while discovering sexuality. a story line that could have easily tripped a lesser cast/crew up, while these ones fair skipped along for two fucken hours.
it nearly lost me a couple of times, just got boring, but somehow does make you want to keep watching.

while so often it's really obvious that an adult has portrayed how they think a child sees, or should see, this movie was pretty much devoid of that, and full of the gaps in language and understanding...

the she-actor was 18 but manages to play a 13 year old really, really well.

well done. very well done.
9/10

street kings
mmmyeah. nah. not great.
not bad, by any stretch, specially for K-nu. and a pretty gnarly plot. just lacked any real wow.\

7.5/10

AllanB

20th July 2016, 19:55

Kurt Russel is watchable in anything.

Tango & Cash - revisited this recently - great chemistry with the lead pair and Jack Palance as the baddie - superb.

Grew up watching Kurt Russel. I watched Bone Homahawk a while back - a American Western with a interesting Indian twist. Good performance from a older grizzly looking Mr Russel. Slightly disturbing movie worth a look for a spin on the genre.

Akzle

20th July 2016, 20:12

striptease

!!!110111!!!!!

demi moore (hubbahubba)... as a stripper!

how have i NOT seen this??

as a movie.... actually not bad.
comedic, tits. win.

AllanB

20th July 2016, 20:55

striptease

!!!110111!!!!!

demi moore (hubbahubba)... as a stripper!

how have i NOT seen this??

as a movie.... actually not bad.
comedic, tits. win.

Oh common Akzle - other than some visual delights the movie was utter crap. Shit I was even embarrassed when Demi was doing her stripping acts, and slightly aroused. It is not great to be male? Even when watching something that you are cringing over you can still get a active twitch or two in the loins.

old slider

20th July 2016, 21:03

Oh common Akzle - other than some visual delights the movie was utter crap. Shit I was even embarrassed when Demi was doing her stripping acts, and slightly aroused. It is not great to be male? Even when watching something that you are cringing over you can still get a active twitch or two in the loins.

I cant remember anything much about the movie, well apart from the bits that stirred the loins, I always knew which bits of the movie were the culprit because the missus kept giving me sideways glances, even though we had been together for 22 years when it first screened.

Akzle

20th July 2016, 21:08

AllanB

20th July 2016, 21:42

find me a flick describable with "comedy and tits" that ranks higher...

You will love this - it is a blast!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEY4dYfRBqM

HenryDorsetCase

20th July 2016, 21:58

HenryDorsetCase

20th July 2016, 21:59

You will love this - it is a blast!

[

Agreed. Seen it. Liked it.

Akzle

20th July 2016, 22:12

(lesbian vampire killers)

i think i tried it. not amused.

Akzle

20th July 2016, 22:18

Agreed. Seen it. Liked it.
...which pretty much confirms it as shit

NEXT

Jin

20th July 2016, 23:50

Tokyo gore police. 8/10.

OddDuck

21st July 2016, 07:57

Not a movie, a very short (6 episodes) TV series.

The Night Manager.

Tom Hiddleston, Hugh Laurie, Elizabeth Debicki. It's an adaptation of a John le Carre novel, concerning an attempt to infiltrate the inner circle of top-flight illegal arms dealer. It's le Carre, so it's lean, tight, sophisticated, and clever as hell instead of relying on stunts and shootouts.

The production's gorgeous. Props, locations, costuming, cinematography are all top shelf. So is the acting. That isn't just the three main players, the support cast do their job throughout too. The direction is mostly invisible (as it should be) aside from over-using a technique of a character walking into focus in a frame.

Basically this is spy thriller and drama combined, at these things it's about as good as it gets. It isn't popcorn fun, laughs, bewbs, chases etc not really applicable.

It's damn good but it wouldn't be to everyone's taste. 8.5 / 10.

HenryDorsetCase

21st July 2016, 08:19

...which pretty much confirms it as shit

NEXT

Awwww, dude, I'm hurt.

mashman

21st July 2016, 09:13

Finding Dory. Pretty movie. Finding Nemo was much betterer though. Loses a point as it didn't inspire the kids either: 5.5/10

mada

21st July 2016, 17:28

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke5AKVtvkdc

The Black Mirror episodes, each one with a different plot and themes on growing reliance and connection with IT. My favourite is probably the Waldo, pretty much the equivalent of Donald Trump.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B12tr8APqsw

Akzle

21st July 2016, 20:03

survival of the dead

was trying to remember this the other night.

not quite comedy.
not quite zombie.

pretty much as awkward as a zombedy.

buuuuuuut. not entirely arse.
6.5/10

pete376403

21st July 2016, 21:55

Not a movie, a very short (6 episodes) TV series.

The Night Manager.

It's damn good but it wouldn't be to everyone's taste. 8.5 / 10.

Agree 100% It was bloody good. We need a companion thread about good TV (it happens from time to time)
Other good TV -" The Wire" - five seasons worth.
"Carnivale" - not completely understood by its makers, HBO, and killed off after two seasons.
"Firefly" and its follow up movie "Serenity"
"Deadwood" - again killed off early by HBO (so they could finance "Rome", which was not so great.

With TV you need either the box set or download, as the constant ad breaks on broadcast TV completely destroy continuity

Drew

22nd July 2016, 06:34

Agree 100% It was bloody good. We need a companion thread about good TV (it happens from time to time)
Other good TV -" The Wire" - five seasons worth.
"Carnivale" - not completely understood by its makers, HBO, and killed off after two seasons.
"Firefly" and its follow up movie "Serenity"
"Deadwood" - again killed off early by HBO (so they could finance "Rome", which was not so great.

With TV you need either the box set or download, as the constant ad breaks on broadcast TV completely destroy continuity
Deadwood was fantastic. It was too expensive to maintain though as I understand it.

Akzle

22nd July 2016, 14:08

the onion movie

anyone who follows the website will have a fair idea of the premise.
silly. not intelligent enough to be called satire, but some rofl funny bits.
5.5/10, pretty fucken average really but still better than:

sinister

00:27

a big ol' cliche sandwhich, with grainy ultraviolence. didn't seem to be going anywhere at half hour so turned it off.

FlangMasterJ

23rd July 2016, 11:56

Edge of Tomorrow (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1631867/)

Finally got round to seeing this. A the beginning I was thinking this looks like some cheesy sci-fi Ground Hog Day but it got really good really fast. Awesome premise, amazing CGI and the acting was brilliant.

8.5/10

Akzle

24th July 2016, 08:28

my oh my del toro gets around eh...

savages

i dont want to get wordy on it, that would be insulting to it.
wont be everyone's cuppa, (it's about drug dealers (and they-re not BLACK, oh noes sideshow boob!))

but is fucking great all over. only let down by a couple of cliches. neat soundtrack.
9.5/10

guardians of the galaxy

not my genre at all but still enjoyed.
not quite enough laughs to be had, fills the time with splosions and loud which gets a bit tedious, it really could have been 2 movies - i wouldn't have watched the second.

great makeups and characters. stupid plot inconsistancies ("we're evacuating the city" - starts dive bombing the city with people running and screaming - "they've evacuated the city but we can't hold out down here" - plane crashes, obviously-non-evacuated-bystanders gather around :facepalm:) fucksake.

still, for someone who actively dislikes this tooney marvel shit.
7/10

AllanB

24th July 2016, 09:47

Savages is very good. Based on the book of the same name by Don Winslow (a great author) - I reckon you'd like the book - it's written in a drug fueled manner jumping from one character to another at pace.

HenryDorsetCase

24th July 2016, 12:26

FlangMasterJ

24th July 2016, 14:28

Check out the new Wonder Woman, King Kong and Justice League trailers. Some great films of the way.

Virago

24th July 2016, 16:55

Star Trek Beyond

The third movie in the Star Trek reboot sees all the main actors return in their roles, and introduces some new ones.

Action packed from start to finish. Not quite edge-of-your-seat stuff, but engaging none the less. I enjoyed it.

The movie is dedicated to the memory of Leonard Nimoy (who died before movie production), and also Anton Yelchin (Chekov), who died in a bizarre car accident after filming was complete.

8.0 / 10

Virago

24th July 2016, 17:19

Boychoir (2014).

This movie was heavily promoted on TV before opening.

An orphaned boy (from the wrong side of town) is given the chance to improve himself at an exclusive singing school.

Along with my daughter I'm a choral music lover, and we went on the promise of a "choral music extravaganza". We were bitterly disappointed - even Handel's Messiah was completely butchered to suit the plot.

The plot itself was feeble, very cliched, stretching belief in places, and thoroughly predictable. Very very disappointing.

While the cast was promising (Dustin Hoffman, Kathy Bates, Debra Winger and Eddie Izzard), all except perhaps Kathy Bates seemed to struggle with the movie's shortcomings.

Give it a miss. 2/10.

Edit: I just looked it up - after initial release the distribution rights were bought by Hallmark Cards - who have since decided not to re-release it. Says it all really...

HenryDorsetCase

24th July 2016, 19:46

Akzle

25th July 2016, 22:47

sushi girl
esentially an hour and a half of four guys torturing another, interspersed with a story you already guessed.
nothing imaginative at all.
3.5/10

the purge
had to laugh at the producers stabs at the vacuous facile nature of townies/ "the higher ups"
...but that's. about. all.

They're all well over gunned. I mean really, a snubby M500 for monseur? and a huge ass walther( ?) that wifey can barely get her mitts around?
and really, how the fuck big is a house that noone else notices a 12ga going off inside??

Ax' top tips for locking yourself in your home when half a dozen kids are an your lawn:

As hilarious as chainsaw grips are on a shotgun, they're only real use is breaching, don't buy them for home defense.

Don't give your wife two handguns and tell her to "cover the other half of the house"

...especially if it's that fucking huge.

if you're hiding in the dark, don't shine a torch around.

if your slut daughter wants to have a tanty, knock her the fuck out and put her where you want her.

if your son is too stupid (and really, with a haircut like that...), knock him the fuck out too.

If you have the element of surprise: shoot first.

Instead of fucking around with the unwelcomes, see how many you can pick off with a silenced .22 before the rest notice.

When the rest do notice, shoot them too.

total movie length with akzle revisions: 20 minutes.
rating without akzle revisions 2/10

R650R

26th July 2016, 18:55

Batman vs Suporman.... utter shite, don't waste your money.

It has great special effects yes.... but no storyline at all, intrigue or suspense. I fell asleep on bed twice.
Another Hollywood trashcan movie where they plugs it with bigname actors to con you out of money.

OddDuck

26th July 2016, 22:57

The Purge: Anarchy.

I haven't seen the first one so can't compare.

The basic premise is pretty simple: for one night a year, all crime is legal. From 7pm to 7am, anything goes. It's America so of course there are guns everywhere.

The storyline follows three disparate groups of strangers who band together in order to survive the chaos. Violent thugs and feral gangs are running riot, but there's something else going on, something to do with big rigs and semi-trailers.... Anyway, it's not a good night to have something go completely wrong and end up on the streets.

It's a good enough movie for what it is: twelve hours, strangers in the night, and urban chaos just one step short of a war zone. It's fundamentally limited by its own premise so not much is possible in terms of character, development, or storytelling. Quite a few thrills along the way, some faintly silly plotlines, and more american crazy than you can shake a carbine at. Don't go in expecting any more than that and it's OK.

6.5 / 10.

Akzle

28th July 2016, 17:25

yes man

featuring rhys darby (half-woo) and jim carey (arrrrrr feck)

described as comedy - romance (in that order)

i watched it. wouldn't call it comedy, but it has funny bits. wouldn't call it romance, but it has jim carey fawning over Frenchie-dark-hair McLargeBsorSmallCs (whom i :heart: )

mumble mumble... 6.5/10 unremarkable but not utter shyt.

Jin

28th July 2016, 18:04

If you want a really good music pic with a kinda sorta similar premise, give WHIPLASH a try if you have not seen it. You will not be disappointed I guarantee it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2582802/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Agree whiplash was good i didn't think I would like it. Some very tense scenes made the movie.

pete376403

28th July 2016, 20:48

"A history of violence" -Viggo Mortensen (lord of the rings) takes out a couple of petty crims but upsets other people.

FlangMasterJ

28th July 2016, 21:30

"A history of violence" -Viggo Mortensen (lord of the rings) takes out a couple of petty crims but upsets other people.

Definitely an 8+/10

Crasherfromwayback

28th July 2016, 22:48

"A history of violence" -Viggo Mortensen (lord of the rings) takes out a couple of petty crims but upsets other people.

Seeing as you liked that, if you haven't seen it, make sure you watch *Eastern Promises*. Fucking brilliant film.

R650R

6th August 2016, 13:52

50 shades of Black... 0/10

The trailer makes this look funny as fuck, but the real film itself is utter shiter, guess im above the target demographic. Did not finish watching more than first part of movie....

Back to binge watching Full Thottle Saloon :)

OddDuck

6th August 2016, 23:57

Triple 9.

Lot of names: Woody Harrelson, Kate Winslet, Gal Gadot, Anthony Mackie, Casey Affleck, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Aaron Paul. Directed by John Hillcoat, who did The Road and a stunningly dark and violent Australian western, The Proposition.

Heists, cops, Russian mafia, gangs, drug raids, shootouts, gritty urban decay and mean streets for authenticity.

Should have been fucking great but somehow it just wasn't. That's not to say it isn't good. The story twists and turns the whole way through. The shootouts are about as good as anything I've seen in any movie, one standout scene is a police raid on a suspect in the middle of a housing project... and he turns out to be quite the drug cartel soldier.

The problem with this movie is that it takes on far too much. There are too many threads and too many characters. The result is a mess, frankly. It's got a plotline for a tight, single-season TV series, not a movie.

There's also no real action climax to the whole thing. It twists, it turns, it's got doublecross after doublecross and various player's plans going wrong, and it does these things brilliantly. But it all happens at the same pace throughout instead of building up. The result is a great start, okay middle, goes flat toward the end.

If you liked Heat then it's OK, 7 / 10. Otherwise avoid, this movie is not going to be remembered as anything special.

R650R

7th August 2016, 09:15

pete376403

7th August 2016, 11:09

Seeing as you liked that, if you haven't seen it, make sure you watch *Eastern Promises*. Fucking brilliant film.

Thanks - watched this last night. Sauna fight scene was pretty intense.

R650R

7th August 2016, 11:50

Seeing as you liked that, if you haven't seen it, make sure you watch *Eastern Promises*. Fucking brilliant film.

plus one 10/10, watched awhile ago. The bike the blondie rides is a rare classic too, Ural copy of some BMW....

And don't forget Siberian Education... Must get around to watching HOV...

FlangMasterJ

7th August 2016, 13:06

Thanks - watched this last night. Sauna fight scene was pretty intense.

What did you think of Viggo's cock?

I'm currently watching Netflix's Stranger Things (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4574334/). Awesome show, think X-Files/Twilight Zone and The Goonies combined.

pete376403

7th August 2016, 19:46

What did you think of Viggo's cock?

While I have no opinion of said cock, thought he was pretty brave having it uncovered considering all the knives flying around.

Akzle

8th August 2016, 16:35

six string samurai

negative
13:20

next day air

i dont get the point. it aint comedy. it aint action. it's just your average american ethnics going about their daily.

very meh. 4.9/10

the blackout

noooooope.

Akzle

10th August 2016, 18:16

"A history of violence" -Viggo Mortensen (lord of the rings) takes out a couple of petty crims but upsets other people.

wouldn't have watched this, but on (the collective)-your recommendation.

good. in general terms. well played by messrs, all.

and bless Ms. Bello for being sublimely attractive and equally nuddy.

not really my genre and a bit malingering, felt long for only an hour and a half.
no real shake ups in the plot. just felt like mildly-above-average teevee, i guess, nothing cinematically spectacular, just well acted.
and the children just felt like tack-ons: there only to facilitate plot points.

i'd like to rank it higher, but it's only 7/10 from me. and that's generous.

Jin

10th August 2016, 18:35

I watched those viggo movies after being mentioned on here. Awful. Both of them. Esp the russian one making me look at his bare ass.

Akzle

10th August 2016, 19:28

Esp the russian one making me look at his bare ass.

you are exactly reason why children shouldn't be breast fed until they're 14.
grow the fuck up.

this is going to be worth every infracto point gremlord will bestow upon me, knowing that it hurts you more than it hurts me: (look jin you can even see his PENIS 000111101010101!!!!!)

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=323806&stc=1&d=1470814046
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=323807&stc=1&d=1470814046

Jin

10th August 2016, 21:23

Well cock would be a step up for you from your goat. Doesnt mean the rest of us enjoying looking at naked men. Faggot.

FlangMasterJ

11th August 2016, 09:23

Faggot.

Now now this isn't 1986 anymore.

Saw Suicide Squad last night and it's.......shit. Margot Robbie was great as Harley but when the actors are given one of the worst scripts and story I've seen in ages you have to feel for them. 3/10

Crasherfromwayback

11th August 2016, 17:31

I watched those viggo movies after being mentioned on here. Awful. Both of them. Esp the russian one making me look at his bare ass.

Well cock would be a step up for you from your goat. Doesnt mean the rest of us enjoying looking at naked men. Faggot.

Did that stirring feeling you got in ya pants scare you?

Akzle

14th August 2016, 16:15

the philadelphia experiment
i watched it through. lord have mercy.

if you can suspend your science, AND your conspiracy you will get through it.
fuck knows what i was smoking, probably PCP.
thoroughly unremarkable and will never ever be rewatched. but still above average???
5.5/10

offender
while it wont win any awards for breaking now ground, and doesn't tax you at all, and is full of unattractive english folks weech tork loik thees yaeh? yuw deeg guv? vay ees straigh' stree' fuggs loik, eenit.

what allowed this movie to survive my reviewing was all in the execution. it was artfully cut, well filmed and pretty true to the vibe of the thing, yeah? actors act-ored and filmers film-ered and the result is a watchable hour n a half of ugly poms speaking poorly and hitting each other.

7.5/10

peeples
hurrah for black empowerment, dem niggaz allowed to make movies and shit yo!

but it's utter shit. even if i was lining up to get head from a smoking hot black chick with all dat ass, i still wouldn't watch it.

10:30

HenryDorsetCase

14th August 2016, 21:43

GIMME DANGER - Jim JArmush's documentary on The Stooges. If you like music, go see it. You're welcome. 10/10

SUBURRA - blimey. Italian Mafia film. Very good indeed 9/10

KRIGEN (A war) Danish soldiers in Afghanistan and some bad shit that went down. Danes dont do comedy. Very good 9/10

GREEN ROOM: Kinda CABIN IN THE WOODS-y in tone. Anton Yelchin is brilliant. Patrick Stewart as you have never seen or imagined him before. Brilliant. 9/10

They're my film festival highlights.

HenryDorsetCase

14th August 2016, 21:44

Did that stirring feeling you got in ya pants scare you?

At my age, its more surprise.....

mossy1200

14th August 2016, 22:17

Jason Bourne was fairly good.

Riot squad vehicle seemed to be made by Knight Industries 2000 though. It managed to destroy everything without getting hurt.

8/10

OddDuck

14th August 2016, 22:56

He Never Died.

Odd wee film, quite low key, clearly tight on budget. Henry Rollins anchors the whole thing rather well as the main character, a slightly dishevelled man named Jack.

Jack lives a very quiet life. Keeps to himself, doesn't like company. He sleeps a lot, goes to a diner regularly, walks the streets of an urban area somewhere in the United States, and for some odd reason he likes to pop in to his local church. Oh, and he meets an intern wearing scrubs semi-regularly and purchases well-wrapped parcels out of the intern's car boot. He's a man of very few words.

Everything is quiet - the way Jack likes it - until a young woman comes looking for him. Shortly after her, a couple of young men come knocking at Jack's door looking for the intern, and then it all goes to hell, for everybody...

It's billed as a comedy horror. It's light on the horror element, the comedy is infrequent, absolutely deadpan, and sometimes hilarious, but where this movie really works is as a depiction of just what it could mean to be immortal.

It avoids the usual mistakes found in indie films. There's no dead time, no long, moody shots with nobody talking. Scenes get straight to the point. Every shot is tight, with nothing in frame that isn't needed.

Unfortunately that very tight cinematography is the movie's greatest weakness. The locations just don't feel connected to each other. There's never a wider sense of the city itself, or of characters moving from one location to another.

There's also an awful lot of generic going on in this movie. Locations, bad guys, incidental characters... too many of them are cookie-cutter stampouts. The same goes for most of the dialogue, unfortunately. If the movie was a bit more specific, a bit more grounded, it'd make much more of an impact.

Very original take on the jaded immortal storyline, though.

Good but not great low-key alternative fare. Best for a night in when you want something that isn't mainstream studio stuff. 6.5 / 10.

Akzle

15th August 2016, 21:55

the slamin salmon.

a hard topic. for sure. doesn't even compare to 'waiting', bang for buck wise.
hard to get mileage out of a shitty premise. has many giggles, but unfortunately they felt the need to intersperse them through an hour of dross.
if you want absolutely nothing out of a flick, this will do.
squarely average. square.
5/10

Akzle

16th August 2016, 06:09

Drew

17th August 2016, 07:18

Snatch.

Watched it again last night. Fucking awesome film.

10/10

AllanB

17th August 2016, 18:47

Snatch.

Watched it again last night. Fucking awesome film.

10/10

You had me at Snatch .....

Hmmm watched it but don't remember much. Maybe worth a revisit.

Drew

17th August 2016, 21:11

You had me at Snatch .....

Hmmm watched it but don't remember much. Maybe worth a revisit.

D'ya like dags?

MrMarko

17th August 2016, 21:39

D'ya like dags?

throw in a fre dag wiv a c'ravn.

Akzle

18th August 2016, 04:01

primer
i will be watching this again. it's poorly filmed (follows 2-4 aspies who wear probably the only suits they own for the whole movie and they're often talking over one another - like, it was filmed by them too) but it's a good, if obfuscated, plot.
it was literally produced for $7000 (so i may have to forgive the lack of wardrobe)
is intriguing if nothing else. no special effects, no car chases, shootouts or nakked women.

an a first watching it's 6/10, and i'd recomend everyone to watch it at least once.

parker
Jason statham (w00t) and J-lo (bless her fine, fine box. srsly, i don't know how old she is but she is fit)

sounds good yeah?

for TWO HOURS.

not so much eh?

it is what it is and being statham, that's all it is. they've just padded it with a few spare families.

mmmmmeeeeehhhhhh 7.5/10

the apparition
spare me.
watched it.
3/10

boondock saints 2
I'm not sure if i was waaaaaaaaysted the first time i saw this, or whether i refused to watch it on principle (principle being that the first one is the best movie ever and i didn't want to ruin it)
but ruin it did not!
i don't think it has the finesse (and obviously not the originality) of the first, and they overplay the shootey bits (like, heaps more) and while it's obviously linked to the first, it could be a stand alone movie without you missing anything. Ginga McTits would be worth a nudge too.

nothing else really needs to be said. you wont regret watching it. if you do your probably an asshole. (not jin suitable, contains men, and women who aren't related to him)
9/10

R650R

18th August 2016, 16:46

Tucker and Dale vs Evil.... 10/10 funny as f#$^

Virago

21st August 2016, 19:01

Dad's Army

Finally got around to watching this. A reasonably good representation of the old sitcom, with the characters not too badly recreated. An acceptable if slightly predictable plot, which reflected the style of the original series. Catherine Zeta Jones added some nice colour.

6.5/10

pete376403

21st August 2016, 19:32

OddDuck

21st August 2016, 21:18

13 Hours

Amazingly restrained, for a Michael Bay film. Generally I can't stand his work but he goes with authenticity here and it works.

Benghazi, Libya. Quaddafi has fallen, various militias have got into his huge arsenals, and now it's one of the most dangerous places on earth. Almost all diplomatic missions have left, aside from one official envoy from the USA, and a (supposedly) covert CIA station which is attempting to monitor the illegal arms situation.

The movie is about the real-life attempt by several of the militias to kidnap the ambassador and then storm the CIA station. There are just eight men in their way, six ex-military private security contractors who are stationed there as glorified bodyguards, and the diplomat's less seasoned two-man protection detail.

There's a little bit (just a bit) of USA flag-waving. There's a bit of grown men getting teary and emotional and doing the brothers in arms bonding thing. It can be difficult sometimes to keep tabs on who's who, and what's happening where. It can also be difficult to hear what people are saying, which is a shame, because the dialogue's fucking great.

The action is handled very, very well... not least because Bay goes to great lengths to build up, and (one slightly Hollywood explosion aside) never gives in to excess. It might be extreme at times but it feels authentic.

The movie really works best in two areas: how everyone seems to know what's going on except the Americans (and how scary that gets), and what it's like to be on the blower for whatever help you can get... and nothing's coming.

8 / 10.

23rd August 2016, 17:52

13 Hours

Amazingly restrained, for a Michael Bay film. Generally I can't stand his work but he goes with authenticity here and it works.

....

The movie really works best in two areas: how everyone seems to know what's going on except the Americans (and how scary that gets), and what it's like to be on the blower for whatever help you can get... and nothing's coming.

8 / 10.

Second that recommendation. Really enjoyed this movie. Especially when at the end credits they showed the real people and what became of them. Just like in Lone Survivor. That adds creditworthiness to the movie.
Well done what the US Secretary of State (or Defence Secretary?) did to 're-enlist' the worse injured so he would get free Army medical care.

Shameful that after they asked for air support and were turned down. They then asked for a simple fly-by to scare off the attackers to buy them some time, but were again declined help.

Akzle

24th August 2016, 12:51

the hungover games

tee and hee. not often parodies are worth much (since what, scary movie?) but this one's good (for what it is)
liberal with the tits (the actress was 25, not 17... =) and i'm not entirely sure if they were her tits anyway.. a body double probably. shame.)
and i'm sure the credits are actually pornography.
takes the piss out of this era of cinema. not laugh a minute, and some incredibly stupid shit. but still. for what it is
8/10

13 assassins

yo dawg i heard u like swordfights.
if not better give this one a miss as fully half of the 3 hours is swordplay.

A psychopathic nip-king gets his ass handed to him by 13 sam'rai. well acted (particularly our psycho, but also the other 2 man-leads. in fact, no-one overplayed it.) quite faithful to peroid and wardrobe, great make ups. Not a whole lot of SFX but not needed.
Action comedy would be the genre, though not much of the latter, but enough to make it less srs.
8/10
not jin suitable, if you look closely you see a boy taking a piss.

Akzle

24th August 2016, 19:40

pompeii
save yourself the anguish and put mentos ina bottle of coke for entertainment.
I dint know how much they paid for that fucking volcano but it got a lot of screen time.
thoroughly holywood. thoroughly arse. and browning (a la sucker punch) didnt even get the goods out.
just.. trite rubbish
3/10
suitable for jin IQ. but also has bare man-ass, so no.

Akzle

31st August 2016, 14:52

Day Watch.

recommend. it's brilliant. 2hr epic rusky vampy drivey bikey headtrip.

do not recommend if on acid!

9/10

Akzle

1st September 2016, 10:13

choke (2008)

we're on a roll with great movies.
com-rom, probably. grins pretty much all the way, with nudity and fucking and a story.
well filmed, acted, scripted.

9/10
not jin suitable as contains partial man-nudty and even SEX!

Akzle

1st September 2016, 21:59

The movie really works best in two areas: how everyone seems to know what's going on except the Americans (and how scary that gets), and what it's like to be on the blower for whatever help you can get... and nothing's coming.

8 / 10.

nope. just pretty typical american rhetoric, humanising soldiers and ignoring the reasons they're actually there.(while sipping budweisers and playing xbox) (with fps pov cams to make it look like xbox, to keep all the kids thinking shit's cool)
with stupid chain of command, poor comms. generally the shit america has been fucking up since nam.

and for fuck sake, if you're in a bathroom (with *dun dun* towels and water) guess what you can jamb up against the door to stop smoke getting in? (of course if smoke is down at floor level you're pretty well fucked)
and then fumbling, while *standing up* in a room on fire. and these niggers are supposed to be trained at not-dying?? did they miss fucking primary school?

as entertainment, meh. black hawk down with the background changed a bit. same gay fucking story, different actors, 20 years newer tech.

really, just propaganda bullshit. no matter how well acted (which was nothing notably above any decent film)

5.5/10

Akzle

1st September 2016, 22:11

and offensively long.

and does any cunt still stack tracers in their mags??

Akzle

6th September 2016, 12:57

Jason Bourne was fairly good.

Riot squad vehicle seemed to be made by Knight Industries 2000 though. It managed to destroy everything without getting hurt.

8/10

03:00
pissed camera guy makes that shit unwatchable.

Akzle

6th September 2016, 14:55

Bastille Day - Action set in Paris, Idris Elba (Luther, Stringer Bell in The Wire) versus gansters, cops, pickpockets, rioters, A bit of nudity, car chases, violence.
Not high art but not too bad either 7.5/10

did enjoy.

few irksomes: how the fuck do you get caught with >3 storeys of initiative?? doesn't matter how black the cunt is...

overdone CQs.

liked the sly ironing, "nevermind the gold, there's ten times more here [in the computer]" :laugh: stupid jew cunts.

and also at the inter-agency fighting, that the cops had the same attitudes as the masses (fuck the system), the manipulation of internets (and by extension sheeple), hastags and shit, the complete lack of empathy by the manipulators (true story bro, shit's IRL).

well acted, not too OTT, solid if not entirely original plot, well paced.
and kindof llides effortlessly between parlez français and english.
wholly, very well cut.
would recommend
also 8/10.

Akzle

6th September 2016, 17:17

He Never Died.

ar fuck. had a long ars review typed out then the fucking cunt binned.

not a bad flick. new-era vampiric. a shame they didn't make more use of the younger vagina.

pretty half-done.

will re-type if/when i cbf.

7/10

Akzle

7th September 2016, 21:45

I hope they serve beer in hell

now, for anyone not acquainted with tucker max, the whole thing will be pretty fucking redundant.
his are the stories that read well (are fucking hilarious), but the translation to film just takes the coconut off his lamingtonn leaving you with an overdry, slightly yellow sponge cake.
it's not for a lack of trying, rather that they're all "you had to be there" and if you've read his shit, nothing will come as a surprise.

wholly artless.
4/10

not jin suitable, contains man-bum

Akzle

9th September 2016, 17:48

commando

1985. hell yeah! all the worst of the 80s rolled into 90minutes of complete shit.
arnie at his 'roided out best, too much bullets, crap puns, almost no dialogue, a soundtrack from similar vintage porn, vehicle suspension like jelly. i hope and pray, that if there's intelligent life somewhere in the universe that this is their introduction to humanity.

I've seen many, maybe most, arnie flicks, and this one's just as great.
9/10.
(but as actual cinema, more like 3)

silent hill revelation (it says 3d on the box, but my screen aint 3d.)

starts off like any mediocre horror, a dream sequence with BOO!, which made me shit and almost turn it off.
but it's not long before you get to that other-place, the jumpy scenes taper off and you get into that great konami-head-trip (if they want to be remembered for DDR then they should all seppuku) and while it breaks no new ground, and the script is kinda only enough to facilitate getting through the environs, it's totally worth it.
has atmosphere, but (and i blame the sheila) doesn't feel greatly authentic. too much screamy shit.

doesn't really stack anything on the first, just shows off a half dozen years of advancement in computer graphics. but great creatures.

worth watching once. just for it's own sake.
8/10
-edit- i should mention that it kinda ticks all the boxes on SH cliches. no bad thing, but it goes on to use them in ways not necessarily intended by their creators - which is good.

Drew

9th September 2016, 17:59

Again...

Deadpool.

Fucken awesome.

awayatc

10th September 2016, 08:47

and offensively long.

and does any cunt still stack tracers in their mags??

fwiw....

one or second but last round a tracer always a good idea...

easy to lose count

nothing worse then unexpected empty mag....

Akzle

10th September 2016, 11:09

The Iceman
Loved this movie. Watch it. 8/10

I read the biography of this evil dude years ago and he was one disturbing mass murderer. I thought at the time, why the hell has this not been made into a movie? Well it turns out it was last year and I stumbled onto it at the Vid store last week. FBI reckoned he had killed over a 100 people. He admitted in jail they were way short.

It's one of those stories where a movie can't do it justice but Michael Shannon in the lead role did a good job of being one big scary monster. Interestingly small parts played by James Franco and Chris Evans. I'm guessing they've read the book and said, shit yeah I want to be a part of that story. Shame the movie left out some of the most dramatic moments in the book for me anyway. One being where he was paid to make someone suffer as they died, so he chained him naked in a cave with rats he had 'prepared' and time lapsed filmed it over a period of days it took for him to be eaten.

Not the greatest movie ever but worthwhile for the tense drama.

Enjoyed. dramatical. felt a bit discombobulated but i guess that's what you get compressing a lifetime into 01:45.
didn't play it up or down so was just gritty mobster shit, and was all the better for it. interesting to see schwimmer in a different kind of role, and everyone else does good acting.
8/10

Virago

11th September 2016, 20:56

Akzle

11th September 2016, 21:20

warm bodies

a zom rom. I think they wanted it to be com too, but it's just not fucken funny.
kudos for the originality but it was just lacking in everything else, I think the premise could have been handled heaps better.
maybe MAYBE if you had to watch it with female company.

8/10 for trying

but more like a 5.5, JUST scraping by.

OddDuck

13th September 2016, 08:17

Hitting The Apex.

Documentary following the six fastest riders in Moto GP over the last few years. Brad Pitt narrates. It's quite easy to make some Fight Club jokes in the first twenty minutes, but that doesn't detract from the movie.

Mark Neale (director) keeps his focus on the riders, on the sport, and on the rivalries. There's a lot of close-in, high speed footage of the bikes on track, letting anyone see just how extreme the riding can be. There's very little technical information on the bikes or the rules, but there really doesn't need to be. It's about the six and the world they live in.

It's fantastic. The version I saw didn't have subtitles, which would have helped - the fans and the rider's parents get a fair bit of screen time and say quite a bit - although Rossi's hometown priest and his mate need no translation : )

For those watching with a non-riding partner, one word of warning - there's a lot of coverage of crashes and aftermath. People who don't ride might get a distorted picture of the risks from that, if they're already at you about bikes equals death then it might be best to see it on the quiet.

The only thing I can compare it to is TT: Closer To The Edge. It's about that level of film making... slightly weaker in some areas, slightly stronger in others. Flip sides of the same coin might be a better description.

Stunning film. 9 / 10, easy.

Akzle

13th September 2016, 09:11

in.

It's fantastic. The version I saw didn't have subtitles, which would have helped - the fans and the rider's parents get a fair bit of screen time and say quite a bit - although Rossi's hometown priest and his mate need no translation : )

if you're watching on vlc (and you should be, because everything else since winamp3.0 is crap) you can a) get a subtitle downloader snap-in and b) download subtitles wIth a right click.

Swoop

15th September 2016, 14:47

Again...

Deadpool.

Fucken awesome.
+1.

In fact: +2. Watched it twice on the flights. Cheers Singapore Airways!

Akzle

16th September 2016, 10:15

the lone ranger

johnny derp typecast as his usual bumbling-barely-tolerable-probably-drunk self.

two and a half hours. very lacklustre. not shit, just nothing to write home about. train shootout at the end was almost worth it.

but srsly, that derp idiot kinda sucked any goodness that mighta been.

6.5/10

Akzle

16th September 2016, 14:57

Again...

Deadpool.

Fucken awesome.

meh. got around to this.
good. not great. some epic humors, some great cinematography, and a whole lotta arse in betwixt.

6/10

Swoop

16th September 2016, 20:08

Sully.

Better than expected. Good to see that Skylar White has managed to get a job with government benefits now.

8:10.

FlangMasterJ

25th September 2016, 11:26

Swiss Army Man (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt4034354/)

Very original film. Funny, dark and beautifully done. Awesome acting from Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe. 8/10

A little taste:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh8qNRp55rQ

R650R

25th September 2016, 15:40

How to Organise an Orgy in a Small Town... 10/10

This was funny as F&*K (sic), very clever and original humour and just the right amount of T&A.
Me and my lady were pissing ourselves watching this, highly recommended, just realised has the lover Katherine Isabelle in it too from 88.
Excellent actors all round too, played their parts very well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOQ-EJTJSV0

Akzle

2nd October 2016, 16:36

police academy (1 & 2 so far...)

timelessly funny as fuck, and for the era, a bit ahead of the pack.

8/10

george formby

2nd October 2016, 16:43

police academy (1 & 2 so far...)

timelessly funny as fuck, and for the era, a bit ahead of the pack.

8/10

Been pissing down at your place, too? I've been watching the Martian Chronicles and The Forbidden Planet. Suns out now but beer is in, so no going out to play.

Akzle

2nd October 2016, 17:07

Been pissing down at your place, too? I've been watching the Martian Chronicles and The Forbidden Planet. Suns out now but beer is in, so no going out to play.

the usual. passing thunderstorms.
actually today has been orright. been out rolling in the paddocks and me balls aint even wet. stopped checking my liquid-sunshine gauge after it flooded over.

hail last week. I was closer to your ways. but a close friend and ally affirmed kamo recieved marble-sized!

ahh. global warming.

george formby

2nd October 2016, 17:11

Liquid sunshine gauge? I like. I gave up hope of outdoorsy things when the cat went past the kitchen on my boogie board.

Akzle

2nd October 2016, 17:23

Liquid sunshine gauge? I like. I gave up hope of outdoorsy things when the cat went past the kitchen on my boogie board.

how many beers did you say you've had :shit:

george formby

2nd October 2016, 17:34

how many beers did you say you've had :shit:

I didn't! Funny thing is, the dog went past first, with a leash in her mouth, full pelt. Then the cat came past on the wake. Epic rain. LOL.:crazy:

mossy1200

2nd October 2016, 20:04

The Legend of Tarzan

7/10
Idd rate Margot Robbie 10/10 just for looks value.

Akzle

3rd October 2016, 06:45

gone baby gone.

drama eh. no great intrigue, very well delivered characters. plays on a few emotional triggers which I find cheap. very well delivered characters. unfortunately has pissed camera guy effect, but it's not constant, and it's few-beers, not outright fuck-drunk. has drugs and guns but doesn't make a big deal of it.
well cut, too.

8.5/10

FlangMasterJ

3rd October 2016, 09:20

Star Trek Beyond (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2660888/)

Loved it. Great balance of humour, action and suspense. The whole modern franchise is great. 8/10

Akzle

3rd October 2016, 19:56

sleeping beauty

no. on the whole.
felt a lot like a highschool art project - a shitty rebellious teenager pouting that they can film drugs and sex and what are you going to do about it?
poor audio mastering (and approximately 4 dialogue) leads to handy-cam vibe (which reinforces the highschool feel) i can't even imagine the fucken project description where this could be graded anything above D.
and fuck. pointless painfully slow-pans, fade to/from blacks. it's like they couldn't even afford a fucking macbook.

maybe a bit of spank material if you were fawning over browning, but again, just feels like nudity for the sake of it, and the rest of the hoes are even more unattractive, and the least ho-like hoes i've seen. i mean, bless em for hanging their tits out, but if i'd paid $600/hr to see em i'd be fucken pissed.

everyone looks and sounds bored. and there doesn't seem to be any focus or differentiation between main characters and background ones. or furniture and props, for that matter. it's all just fucking lacklustre and at this point i wouldn't care if they all caught fire.

i don't know what the fuck kind of modern photocopier doesn't have a 'collate' function... maybe it's just that the only other employee happens to be a woman too, and doesn't know how to print for shit.
and white strayan madame using a tea whisk? fucken wot?

and emily's bear hands mauling both decanter and balloon of brandy. and playing at pouring wine like a cunting sommelier! git tae fuck indeed!
although... what she can take in her mouth/throat without choking does give rise (pun intended) to some.... well.. penis.

almost binned it at 00:50. kinda wish i had.

2.5/10

not jin suitable. contains naked old men.

OddDuck

5th October 2016, 21:02

The Magnificent 7.

Ohh boy why didn't I listen to the reviews... what a waste of an evening. 2 hours 20 minutes of Hollywood getting it wrong.

Not completely, mind. It looks pretty. Great star power. Unfortunately (once again) they've cut characterisation and storyline back to the bone in order to throw in quick action thrills. Lots of quick action thrills. Like, an hour or so's worth of them in the final battle.

Obvious technical errors - smokeless powder, in 1865? Hand cranked Gatling gun capable of grouping inside a meter, at a half mile distance? Sets that frankly look like sets rather than lived in towns? One handed revolver shots on horseback that hit targets forty meters away? Total lack of livestock and crops, in a farming town? Forgettably psychopathic villain? - anyway, this isn't where the film is screwed. Even the one line cardboard characterisations are forgiveable.

The film's big fuckup is the main characters lack of fear or awareness. Everyone in the first 7 (way back with Yul Brynner) was clearly aware that they walked a very fine line between today's living legend and tomorrow's forgotten dead. They were tough men living a hard life and they knew the score. It showed. It doesn't show here. Denzel does his thing, Chris Pratt shows a nice turn as a cocksure gunslinger, but that's about it.

95 million to shoot, apparently. What a waste of what could have been.

4 / 10. Save your time and go get 3:10 To Yuma (yes, the remake with Bale and Crowe), hell even the first twenty minutes of Cowboys And Aliens were better.

mashman

5th October 2016, 21:14

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, 5/10: Take too long to get going and kinda fizzles out in a predictable way. It got 1 point for Eva Green, mmmmmmm.

mossy1200

5th October 2016, 21:25

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, 5/10: Take too long to get going and kinda fizzles out in a predictable way. It got 1 point for Eva Green, mmmmmmm.

Eva is at the top of my hall pass list.

OddDuck

5th October 2016, 21:30

Eva Green mmmmm good

mashman

6th October 2016, 14:49

Eva is at the top of my hall pass list.

Eva Green mmmmm good

The makeup she wears in the move accentuates her eye size. Kinda creepy in ways, yet kinda works in others :laugh:

Akzle

6th October 2016, 17:00

scary movie quadrilogy

16 years on... still funny. 1 & 2 were good, 3 was orright, 4 was pretty crap. maybe it's just that i'd binged on it. but meh.

1: 9/10
2: 9/10
3: 7.5/10
4: 5/10

would recommend the first two to anyone who chuckles at low brow shit. but they're actually also produced quite well.

Crasherfromwayback

6th October 2016, 22:41

Watched *The Girl On The Train* tonight.

Better than RT scored it. 7/10. Worth the money.

mossy1200

6th October 2016, 22:46

Watched *The Girl On The Train* tonight.

Better than RT scored it. 7/10. Worth the money.

Emily Blunt yum

Crasherfromwayback

6th October 2016, 23:00

Emily Blunt yum

*Minta*.....

Black Knight

7th October 2016, 12:59

The book was crap.

mossy1200

7th October 2016, 14:33

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, 5/10: Take too long to get going and kinda fizzles out in a predictable way. It got 1 point for Eva Green, mmmmmmm.

I liked the movie. 8/10
Bloody school holidays.

Akzle

7th October 2016, 18:32

Jason Bourne was fairly good.

Riot squad vehicle seemed to be made by Knight Industries 2000 though. It managed to destroy everything without getting hurt.

8/10

well. i figured if i was drunk enough, and wove my head in a direction opposite to the crack-added camera operator, it would be better.

it wasn't.

can someone tell me WHY THE FUCK they do it???

anyway. adds nothing to the series. does that flag waving "your making the country safe from TERRORISMISTS!!!!101011!!" which gets right up my nose.
has lots of shit on screens (PC, phone) which your supposed to read not only through your own drunk fog, but through a camera held by some cunt with fucking parkinsons, having a seizure.
every scene was over done.

so on the whole: shit.

shit/10.

go fuck yourself america.
and may that camera operator be mauled by bears.
then rolled in chilli flakes and salt.
before being bum raped and hung by the testicles till death.

Akzle

7th October 2016, 19:10

wanderlust

crack me up.

my hippy disposition probaby helps a lot.

quote of the movie
"so what do you do when it rains?"
"drink the nourishment that god is feeding me through her cloud tits"

wont be for everyone. probably classed as comedy chick flick. has janniston.

mmmmmm
8/10 which is high since it's not a genre i'd normaly tolerate.

Akzle

9th October 2016, 15:41

syrup

semi? chick-flick...

it tries. it has to be given that. and the good bits are very good.
and it has such great potential... they just pad it with shit. the lulls in the lulz sap too much momentum out of it. it's like they needed to tick the "depth to character - range of emotions" boxes to get it screened.... they really didn't.
almost feels like they fleshed out a short, the same imapct (the good bits) could have been sold in an hour. tops. which is ironic given the topic of the film.

i DO like a not-happily-ever-after though. but this just seemed to fizzle. as though they thought they could tack a sequel onto it.

I'd watch the sequel, but i'd have fucking high expectations. and if it didn't deliver, that would kill the first one too.

mixed. 7.5/10 but i feel it should be lower, as cinema. but would still recommend to be seen.

kindee took a page somewhere between branded and fightclub.

R650R

11th October 2016, 19:14

Life on the Line. 7/10 A b grade action movie made watchable by A list actors and soem cool special effects. Although Sharon Stones character seems pointless and adds nothing to the film...
Dangerous job though, about 50 linemen a year lose their lives in USA....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgLo5Cag1S4

http://fallenlinemen.org/about/

Akzle

17th October 2016, 16:12

austenland

not even if you were going to get your dick sucked.

well. i mean obviously... if it was literally, watch this and get your dick sucked, you would,
but, i mean... you'd question yourself afterwards.

somebody oughta tell americunts that ignorance is not comedy. if it were, ocean would be a fucken riot.

2/10 and i don't know what either of them are for

district 13

the one before the sequel.
parkour, guns, gangstas, and hilarious overdubbed engrash.

mindless, and not especially great. but for a lazy arvo with a lazy half-o..... 7/10

Hemi Makutu

17th October 2016, 18:31

well. i figured if i was drunk enough, and wove my head in a direction opposite to the crack-added camera operator, it would be better.

it wasn't.

can someone tell me WHY THE FUCK they do it???

anyway. adds nothing to the series. does that flag waving "your making the country safe from TERRORISMISTS!!!!101011!!" which gets right up my nose.
has lots of shit on screens (PC, phone) which your supposed to read not only through your own drunk fog, but through a camera held by some cunt with fucking parkinsons, having a seizure.
every scene was over done.

so on the whole: shit.

shit/10.

go fuck yourself america.
and may that camera operator be mauled by bears.
then rolled in chilli flakes and salt.
before being bum raped and hung by the testicles till death.

100% Agreed, having to pop a Dramamine to watch an action movie is sickening in itself.. his 'speedwork' is shit..

& they don't have to do it.. I watched an ep of the good ol' nasty `70's western TV show Kung Fu
recently, where the director s-l-o-w-e-d the torrid beat down sequences, so it looked real cool..

Implausible shit these days they try get away with - by speeding it up...

FlangMasterJ

17th October 2016, 22:43

Captain Fantastic

Another great film that I hadn't heard of. Don't read the synopsis just enjoy.

Stars Viggo Mortensen and yes Akzle he gets his dick out. You'll love it.

8.5/10

Akzle

18th October 2016, 15:50

fire with fire

poorly executed really. some great shit in there, but stitched together with floss. pretty fucking tenuous. a rather chemo looking brucewillisman, who isn't doing shootey brucewillisman stuff.
meh.
5/10

boy
finally got around to this. (rewatched wilderpeople, like taika's style)
probably to go down in the leagues of once were warriors and the broken hearted, as in: good story, well put out, well played, a snapshot of maoridom, kiwiana, etc, but not outstanding or terribly inspired.

it's seperate from them, obviously, in it's hilarity, and while the themes aren't any lighter, the portrayal is.

hilariously i went to primmer with not a few of the characters. uncannily similar.

everyone except the deteminedly ignorant/racist (oscar,bob et al) will get something positive out of it. (they will get to cluck, tut, and chortle. and disparage darkies)

8/10

freddie got fingered

tom green's pathetic attempt at comedy/relevancy.
i kept thinking, "it has to get better". it didn't. and now i hope he is killed by wasps.
17:20

Akzle

20th October 2016, 17:03

revisited a few

american history x

oft touted as one of those "must see"s. really can't recall what all the fucking fuss was about. snorton plays it well, if predictably and rather flat.

the story.. no great bones cos i've seen it? or cos it's just meh?

6.5/10

blade runner

oh how the future looked from the early '80s.

rather protracted, and probably more notable for being ahead of the game cinematically, than anything else. a young harrison, i try to think if i've seen him in anything even remotely similar... not that he's ever been anything to write about.
was this perhaps THE original sci-fi?

fails to grab me. for what it was 8/10.
today...6/10

Hemi Makutu

20th October 2016, 17:32

Akzle

20th October 2016, 17:41

As a sci-fi, check out Serenity.. its well under rated.. & the Skipper's squeeze is such a hottie, too..

Starship Troopers does the Donald Trump military schoolboy - fantasy future real well, too..

english. you fucken strayan shitsack.

titles should be titular, and the text body bodular and ne'er the twain shall meet.

Hemi Makutu

20th October 2016, 17:59

english. you fucken strayan shitsack.

titles should be titular, and the text body bodular and ne'er the twain shall meet.

Titties, esp' well-formed, are always popular, even for formality-Nazis...

http://blog.tepapa.govt.nz/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/roast-titi.jpg

Akzle

22nd October 2016, 13:01

attack the block

probably aimed at the demograph it features. that is: bri'ish urban yoof yaaea?

neat aliems. rather predictable plot.

wont be watching again, but 7/10 for what it is.

21 jump street

a few chuckles, but hardly going to be called funny. again, i doubt i'm the target audience. again, wont watch again.
pretty fucken mediocre. 6/10

Crasherfromwayback

23rd October 2016, 09:59

Yep, enjoyed it. 6.5/10.

Akzle

24th October 2016, 10:25

Eddie the Eagle.

Comedy-Drama, very loosely based on the life of eccentric British ski-jumper, Eddie Edwards. Note that I said loosely - think of it as Cool Runnings on skis.

A little predicable in places, but still enough suspense and laughs to keep you engaged. Taron Egerton did an outstanding job portraying Eddie, reasonably well supported by Hugh Jackman as the reluctant (and drunkard) coach.

7/10.

seen it.
enjoyed it for different reasons. whoever thought a retarded pudgy white guy is movie material deserves a tune-up.
"quaint" would be putting it nicely. "trite" is more accurate. and watching someone that can obviously jump throw their landings was just gay.

although jackman mind-fucking bo derrick was well worth a laugh. and big big ups to the costumers and prop guys. cardigans, rapist glasses, and retro skis. brilliant.

also 7/10.

fast times at ridgemont high
i'm going to have to revisit all the old-school-school movies, because they're still funny as shit.

this was possibly the dawn of several acting careers (whittaker, who i have not seen anything inspired from; and reinhold, who is quite good in his typecast way)

with no SFX, and no big action to hide behind it has to make do with a script, and epic characters, and as said, hilarity.
9/10

Akzle

24th October 2016, 14:33

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Zcq-TjbZPoM/UVjixuA9_OI/AAAAAAAANPo/MvRRXYrZO1Y/s1600/7Psychopaths.jpg

8/10

yarr. dunno.
i wouldn't call the violence gratuitous, but certainly graphic, kinda used as punctuation: it's there just cos. it doesn't really add anything, just breaks up the blurb.

the humors get a bit droll, the ironical metafictation and all
and the thing's a nudge under two hours, which leans it toward insufferable,
but somehow, the story (no great hurrah) and the characters (all pretty well acted by famouses) keep you there.
and it is brilliant watching several people quite detached from "reality" interacting with each other, though instead of playing that up and making it epic they flesh it out with shit.

a dabblin of tits but could have done with more vagoo. and kinda just blurbles off into irrelevance.
5/10