The law and men's rights

[007XX]

That's a two-way street. One in which the other lane is MUCH more well-travelled.
It is a pity that people do this sort of shit to their kids, as well as each other. Kinda forces people to develop a distinct lack of trust in others, for years/ever.

Oh most definitely...This was now 6 or so years ago. My son is now living with myself and my new hubby and things couldn't be better. The ex gave up his hold on my son as he was in way over his head looking after him and everyone from school teachers and the likes kept on telling him my son should be with me...

Stepdad is absolutely fantastic and my son adores him
We keep the ex on a very short leash, and NEVER trust him on anything, but things are now more settled. It just takes time, especially as I didn't want to involve lawyers for my boy's sake.

[deanohit]

In theory, maybe. In practice, another load of BS!
Sheesh, my son has been fighting to get access one weekend in two, no matter what the court says, his ex still does exactly as she pleases, and has no qualms about using the kids as emotional blackmail!

Now thats just crap. The only one to benefit will be the mother, not the father an certainly not the kid.

[Grahameeboy]

In theory, maybe. In practice, another load of BS!
Sheesh, my son has been fighting to get access one weekend in two, no matter what the court says, his ex still does exactly as she pleases, and has no qualms about using the kids as emotional blackmail!

I had no problems despite my ex's unhappiness as well although she still uses Nats to get at me.

You are right, she can still ignore the Court Order, however, if she does that then she can loose some custody rights......like any Law I guess.

Is he not going for equal shared custody? Am happy to help.

[Grahameeboy]

My brother in law owned a house, then he met a chick, fell in love, she moved in bla bla, they decide to rent the first house out, and build a big new one, then they split.
They sell the new house and split the proceeds, and she takes half the value of the house HE ALREADY OWNED as well.
A couple of years go by, he moves to another city, and buys a house there, whilst retaining the very first house as a rental.
He and the chick recocile, and get married, and buy stuff togeather, including a few rentals here and there, then divorce this time for good, she takes everything, plus half of the value of the propertys INCLUDING HALF OF THE VALUE OF THE VERY FIRST HOUSE THAT SHE HAD ALREADY GOT HALF OF IN THE FIRST SPLIT, how fuct is that....



I pleased that when I split with my ex, we had nothing, we were that poor, i just packed up my ute and my bikes and walked away, she did likewise, It took years to sort the bills though

Things have changed since 2004.......he would probably have been able to argue the rental property was his if it was an investment.

[scumdog]

It took me over 6 months for me to be able to have my son stay with me for one night though...The bastard was using my baby boy as emotional drawcard.

Separation/divorces suck, full stop. I'm afraid I can't give any advice, but all the best to you.

The kid thing really pisses me off, I see heaps of it in my job.

All I can do is hope that the kids realises as they get older which parent was treating them as an emotional drawcard/tug-of-war rope etc and has nothing more to do with them.

[McJim]

Not something I condone but it certainly seems the law is trying to encourage murder. Should be fair and equitable - automatic 50/50 is a cop out.

My Mum left home when I was 12 - she left everything behind for the benefit of us kids.

Sometimes people can be more reasonable than the law.

[Lissa]

Every body circumstances are different.. esp when children are involved. The best way is putting the children first, their needs above mine and my ex. Making the rest of their lives the best they can be, and as happy as can be, and thats by being as reasonable as you can regarding property and money etc. Make sense?

[007XX]

Every body circumstances are different.. esp when children are involved. The best way is putting the children first, their needs above mine and my ex. Making the rest of their lives the best they can be, and as happy as can be, and thats by being as reasonable as you can regarding property and money etc. Make sense?

Makes perfect sense...it's the hardest, longest and bumpiest road but definitely the best in the long run for the child...

[ynot slow]

Like the joke.Why do they name hurricanes after women?
Because they make lots of noise as the come,and when it's over you might be lucky and have a car.

My situation was similar to all the men here,married at 20,rented home from inlaws,bought a home(with deposit from inlaws/inheritance),she left and had to settle,I had no problems with splitting everything.
We agreed she keep house but pay me approx $20-30000,as her parents had put money towards house and our mortgage was $35000 at time.Her folks said piss off and off to lawyers we go,her with legal aid as she had kids,me as working couldn't get it.
I had idiot lawyer,in the end i was given ,stereo(mine anyway),fridge,bed,and dryer wohoo,half of car sale,I couldn't be bothered fighting the crap so at court hearing gave in,at least i can admire myself in morning when staring in the mirror.Also with kids involved there was noway i'd take 1 bed,1duchess etc.
Now i've bought my second home,first one was from a mate on rent to buy,sold it about 12mths later and now have present one and it's in my name only,managed to re furnish it and except for freezer everything is less than 3yrs old.Hard struggle but new wife and myself deserve it.I know it cost me about $100000 but i can keep my head up and know she wasn't screwed,I was.

[007XX]

The kid thing really pisses me off, I see heaps of it in my job.

All I can do is hope that the kids realises as they get older which parent was treating them as an emotional drawcard/tug-of-war rope etc and has nothing more to do with them.

Funnily enough, mine does, and no I'm not helping in that process. What i mean is I'm never putting my ex down in front of my son...even if he's a moron, I refuse to stoop to his level. And besides, give him enough and he hangs himself.
Already once now, my son has told him : " don't be a bully to my mum". Things have been better since...

[Mystery]

Sorry to hear of your troubles Kev. It really does seem that you have got a raw deal and I cant believe that if she can keep her separate property separate, why you cant at least be compensated for the value of the property you had prior to your relationship. It definitely doesnt seem fair! However, I dont think that this problem is limited to "men only" as I have heard horror stories of women ending up in the same situation. Either way, it sucks!! Fortunately not all women are like your ex.

[Edbear]

21 years before I found he was having an affair

Does that help?

[Mystery]

No, because he knew he had made a huge mistake.

[inlinefour]

Divorse,,Separtion. when u are left alone....its a nasty bussniss.just like to put this thread in here to tell u all the rights of men.......interesting subject.....MY Story.... ..ok. Got married to a thai lady about 8 yrs ago..we had a happy life for quite some time..then at xmas she up and fucks off..iam sitting here stratcting my head thinking WTF.. well off i go 2 c a lawyer. heres how it went.well my missus has fucked off .sorry Kev but she is up for 50%...hang on says me thats not fair....i had a $300 000 house when i met her..now we have bought a house in coro and its worth $700 000..well she is up for half...wot about the 3 houses she has in thailand.......well she bought them before she met u ..separate property.... they are hers.....FUCK this aiant fair.....the law is a fucken arse ....the law is the law..says mister lawyer....well shove it were the sun dont shine.so off i go..that lawyer is a dickhead...lets go see another lawyer....in the last 6 weeks i have seen 8 lawyers...and the sad story is just the same.50 50 down the line....it just doesnt seem right.....i wouldnt mind if my wife had of contributed to something here..but never has,,,,,had 6 trips back to Thailand.and i gave her a $1000 every time ..never worked ...fuck we are getting screwed..... to anyone in a simalar situation..please post here..iam not a legal person but have most of the answers,. to top that of the missus has put a caveat on the house...cant sell it.cant borrow money against it....wot to do.....any way everthing has turned out for the best.....Regards KEVTHEKIWI

Split with the ex wife, she got everything, I just gave up and did not really care what happened to all the property. Now I've split with the ex after becoming a paraplegic. Was a bit more proactive in trying to get something for myself so I did not have to start all over yet again. Fortunately the ex was quite resonable and we did not need any lawyers what so ever. Thats the way the cookie crumbles eh. Its all a great big shit sandwich and us males all have to take a bite...

[Edbear]

I am presently contemplating Divorce and the thing I cant come to terms with is that I will be taking everything that matters away from my husband.

...home to where there are people who love him, where he is always welcomed, cared for and where he can relax).

Obviously I don't know either of you personally nor the circumstances so am only speaking generally. I do know of a similar situation where she has forgiven him and continued the marriage... I also know it has been hell for her even so.

Sorry, but has he not taken everything that mattered away from you? You still have a home where you are welcomed, cared for and can relax?

I just have little sympathy for such a betrayal of trust and the fact that the offender would probably have continued to do it had he not been found out.

As I say, I don't know personally, so understand you must make your decisions yourself.