Maybe I should stop offering advice on this site.
Clearly one reader took my "Own Your Bit Of The Road" dissertation to heart.
There I was, on Saturday, in my cage, driving from Ngongataha to the Ohau Channel for the purposes of wresting fine-fat fish from the waters, when I hoved up behind a Mack logging truck...loaded. He was doing 70Ks....unusual, but it happens.
I waited till we came to a spot I knew had a good straight, pulled out to have a decko before doing the business. Was about to snap into third and plant the boot when I saw, directly ahead of the Mack, (and when I say directly, I mean like within ten feet) and nearly on the centre-line, was a dude on the obligatory 250 Scorpion, L-plate clear, High-vis-clad, bent over like he was doing The Isle of Man, doing 70K's.....with forty tonnes of Mack truck up his arse.
He stopped at Okere Falls, Cafe. I pulled in near him and watched this 20-something, chinless wonder remove his gloves, then helmet. He then stretched as a man will do when all is well with the world and pleasure is coursing through his veins.
'Scuse me mate. I was following the Mack truck which was following you....like within inches. Did that worry you? Him being so close, and all?'
Believe it or believe it not he replied, 'What Mack truck?'
I frowned then said, 'I've followed you....well I followed the Mack truck following you, for the last 13 Ks. Didn't you see it?'
He frowned then said, 'Nar mate. I don't look in me mirrors. I own my bit of road and so all I have to worry about is what's in front, not what's behind.'
'Really? And where did you get that idea?'
'Some bloke on KB said we motor-bikers have got to own our bit of road or get trashed.'
'KB?'
'Yeah. It's a site or motor-bikers like me. You heard of it?'
'Um. No. Tell me, have you been riding long?'
'Aw yeah. I've had this bike for nearly three months....and I'm a really good rider. You should try riding a bike, mate. They's really great!'
I felt my anger rising, my right fist ball, and my middle finger-knuckle project. Just one strike between the eyes and this complete moron would be taken from the gene-pool.
But, of course, such direct action, despite the probable value of it, is contrary to civilised behaviour.
I just walked away, wondering.
But you. You tit. You know who you are because you are on this site.
I swear, if ever I see you again, doing what you were doing, so utterly stupidly misinterpreting the concept of 'owning' your bit of road, I swear I'll.....Well shit, I'll think of something.
It's mind-numbingly stupid shit like this which gives all of us bikers a bad name.
But worse. I'm directly responsible for putting this idiot's life in clear danger having suggested he needs to 'own' his bit of road.
You see? We get back to the modern concept that everything has to be spelled out otherwise it ain't my fault.
And so, for all the other total fucking morons who need the advice, the advice is, "Own your bit of road BUT KEEP UP TO THE PREVAILING SPEED OR PULL OVER AND GIVE WAY!"
If nothing else this whole issue points up the stupidity of limiting learners to 70Ks, and/or giving learner-licences to those with an IQ measurable in single digits.
Jesus H Christ!
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