Great comeback

[Stirts]

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her arse and said, "You know if you firmed this up you could get rid of your girdle."

The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the tit and said,"You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."

She rolled over and grabbed him by the cock and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the window cleaner, and your brother."

[CookMySock]

She rolled over and grabbed him by the cock and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the window cleaner, and your brother."

Damn, and he didn't even get to watch?

Steve

[NDORFN]

How did I know you'd be the first to reply to this one DB? You know, there are sites like Horny Matches, and Adult Friend Finder for dudes like you.

[CookMySock]

How did I know you'd be the first to reply to this one DB? You know, there are sites like Horny Matches, and Adult Friend Finder for dudes like you.

Bah, they are a waste of time bro. All too conservative.

Steve

[Stirts]

A Martian couple landed on the earth. The emerged from their spacecraft and went up to a farmhouse. They knocked on the door. When the farmer and his wife answered, they announced that they were from Mars and wanted to come in to chat. The farm couple extended their hospitality and they all seemed to hit it off well. After a while, the farmer said "Do you two swing?"

The martian replied, "yes", and so they swapped mates and adjourned for appropriate activity.

After the martian man had climbed on, he said to the earth woman, "Is my dick long enough?"

She replied, "Well, now that you mention it, I would like it a little longer."

He said "no problem" and proceded to twist his left ear and, like magic, his dick got longer. "How's that now?"

"One notch more" said the woman.

Her request was promptly complied with via another twist of the left ear. His next question was "Would you like it a little thicker?"

She replied "yes" and he twisted his right ear once. The woman said "That's perfect!" and they proceeded to bang away.

The next morning the earth couple were comparing experiences and the husband said "how was it for you?" The wife replied, "Super! How about you?"

The husband responded, "It was pretty good, but she damn near twisted my ears off!"

[EJK]

Hahaha that's very good Stirts.

[CookMySock]

LOL thats great!

Steve

[ManDownUnder]

I just googled housewife and gardiner... I think the hubby could watch if he wanted to... WOWSER!!!!!

[allycatz]

Wife getting undressed one evening asks hubby for breast implants. "Just rub toilet paper all over them," he says. "toilet paper won't make them bigger" says the wife. "why not" says hubby. "worked for ya arse"

[CookMySock]

oooooh thats low, though..

Steve

[Stirts]

I just googled housewife and gardiner... I think the hubby could watch if he wanted to... WOWSER!!!!!

You are such a dirty bitch!

WOWSER?!?

[Stirts]

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "and aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new.

[ManDownUnder]

You are such a dirty bitch!

No - but she sure is!!!!!!! And he's not shy either.

[crazyhorse]

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "and aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new.

These are very clever....

[vifferman]

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new.

That's why I lahk to do eet: it seems and feels like we're newly in love.