Fitted sheets

**Highlander** · 12th July 2009, 16:52

Originally Posted by doc

excuse my ignorance but WTF is a "Fitted sheet" ?

They are the sheets that have the elastic sown into them so they billow like a parachute when you try to fold them. Designed to "fit" over the matress to make it easier to make the bed.

Apparently they make good bike covers too.

**doc** · 12th July 2009, 17:11

Originally Posted by Highlander

They are the sheets that have the elastic sown into them so they billow like a parachute when you try to fold them. Designed to "fit" over the matress to make it easier to make the bed.

Apparently they make good bike covers too.

Originally Posted by Maha

Scott elastic roun dit!!.....so it fits. (a matress, no tucking)

oh kaaay, din'dt know that we were suppost to no stuff like thit.

Faaark Maha is a Metrosexual. mmmm never new that.

**FJRider** · 12th July 2009, 17:16

Originally Posted by smokiesam

Thats right beat me up. Do you think I'm going to get kisses and cuddles once I hear the dreaded garage door opening

Only till she figures how badly she wants to maim you ... keep vital body parts protected. Is your life insurance up to date ... ???

**jono035** · 12th July 2009, 17:20

Originally Posted by FJRider

Only till she figures how badly she wants to maim you ... keep vital body parts protected. Is your life insurance up to date ... ???

Everything went suspiciously quiet after steve_t posted asking if they were special sheets and if they had any spares....

My guess is they were special and there are no spares so he's made a run for the border.

Either that or hes already dead, it's even odds really...

**Little Miss Trouble** · 12th July 2009, 17:23

Originally Posted by steve_t

You just need to tell us that it's your only fitted sheet for your bed and that it's 1000 thread count egyptian cotton or something

Might I suggest all drama could all be averted by rushing out & buying a set of the above mentioned sheets before she arrives home?

Hell, it might even earn ya some brownie points

**Fatt Max** · 12th July 2009, 17:26

Originally Posted by Maha

One draw-back, is when your mates notice the stains.....

Feckin' right mate. I have to change my sheets with a sledge hammer most days...

...and this morning, I fell out of bed and cracked my pyjamas, embarrasing I can tell you.....

**MotoKuzzi** · 12th July 2009, 17:28

Any man who knows what a fitted sheet is should be regarded in the same light as Honda owners.

**Fatt Max** · 12th July 2009, 17:32

Hang on a minute though lads n lasses, lets think outside the square here....

If herself comes home, sees a fitted sheet over the bike, you may never know, she might get all juiced up and fancy a game of 'Hunt The Sausage' on the seat. The bike in question is well built for a touch of tandem rooting so it could be all go in the downstairs department....I mean, chicks love a well made bed for shagging in, so what's wrong with a well made bike.....

Take last weekend for example, I decorated the VL with a pair of my undies on the headlamp, my socks on the foot rests and a johnny on the exhaust, herself got in from the pub, took one look and got so happy-moisty that she just about slid off the sofa thinking about it...

Once you have had fat, you will NEVER look bak, eh...

So, do a monty python and look on the bright side, you may be in for some south-of-the-navel action on the strength of your new bike cover...

Right, where's my 15" black rubber cock, it's tea time....

**Virago** · 12th July 2009, 17:35

Fitted sheets are over-rated. A deftly done hospital corner is a sight to behold...

**monkeymcbean** · 12th July 2009, 17:37

I use sheets, for under the bike cover, not fitted thou, easier to through over and not have to fumble around in the dark making sure the fit bit is fitted over the bike. So what was the drama? Guess it would if you used ones that were in use for the original purpose...oh dear..i would say something like Richard Cranium

**klingon** · 12th July 2009, 17:43

Originally Posted by Miss.L

Might I suggest all drama could all be averted by rushing out & buying a set of the above mentioned sheets before she arrives home?

Hell, it might even earn ya some brownie points

Aha. THAT is the correct answer. The only one.

I wonder what happened at the end of this story?

By the way, fitted sheets are easy to fold once you know how. My ex-army Dad had a special folding method - although I think it may be a military secret. No, they didn't use fitted sheets in the army, but he applied his need for sharp creases to the fitted sheets and did them perfectly every time.

My mother, on the other hand, used to scrunch them up and shove them in the back of the cupboard hoping he wouldn't notice. He would find them and re-fold them with perfect creases. Folding fitted sheets is a very masculine art IMO.