Nigel Latta parenting show TV1 tonight.

**Fatt Max** · 30th July 2009, 18:22

Originally Posted by T.G.W

I wonder if that's often the handicap, parents so busy reading books and watching super nanny that their own commensense is watered down?

Think you have got it there mate. It's really fashionable to be good at 'Parenting' rather than being good parents. All this media being thrown at mums and dads restrictes their ability to express themselves as individuals as well as the kids (whom, lets face it, are compressed to conform into such tight lines that they could end up becoming cartoon characters).

My parents laugh like fuck at all this carrying on, they brought up me and my bruvver with no books, focus groups or fucking Remuera Coffee mornings. They were skint for most of the time but we were always ok. My dad encouraged us to be good at sports and take a loss as well as a win. Me mum used to bollock us like fuck if we even thought about disagreeing with a teacher.

PC parenting, it can fuck off really...put the kids before someones ego.....

**The Stranger:Me** · 30th July 2009, 18:27

Originally Posted by Ms Piggy

Okay, some interesting comments. I'm particularly interested in the comment about parenting (or more specifically what Nigel Latta is saying) being common sense...I reckon for some parents it's not.

I'm sure there's loads of different reasons but who teaches parents how to be "good" parents? Anyway, that's off the topic but it''s something I often ponder.

Carry on.

I never read a parenting book. Do people really need to be taught this stuff?
The way I learnt to parent was to take my cues from my parents and what worked and didn't work there. That and treat kids with lots of love and the same respect as I would expect in return.

Not rocket science.

The truely sad thing is when you see a 5 or 6 year old who has a higher intellect than their parents. You just know there is going to be trouble, but what can you do?

**Ms Piggy** · 30th July 2009, 18:30

Originally Posted by The Stranger

I never read a parenting book. Do people really need to be taught this stuff?
The way I learnt to parent was to take my cues from my parents and what worked and didn't work there. That and treat kids with lots of love and the same respect as I would expect in return.

Not rocket science.

Yeah but what if you had parents that sucked and didn't give you love and respect?

I think all the myriad of books out there is information overload myself! But then I learn by doing not by reading.

**The Stranger:Me** · 30th July 2009, 18:34

Originally Posted by Ms Piggy

Yeah but what if you had parents that sucked and didn't give you love and respect?

I think all the myriad of books out there is information overload myself! But then I learn by doing not by reading.

Then you have a reallll good handle on what doesn't work. and know you need to be doing the opposite.

**Dave Lobster** · 30th July 2009, 18:34

Originally Posted by MisterD

Yeah, that keeps my little 'un quiet for ages pop-pop-popping...yes, I did understand what Usarka really meant.

That is what he meant, wasn't it???

Originally Posted by T.G.W

I wonder if that's often the handicap, parents so busy reading books and watching super nanny that their own commensense is watered down?

Most of the parents I see out and about don't look as if they could write their own name, let alone read a book about parenting.

**Ms Piggy** · 30th July 2009, 18:39

Originally Posted by The Stranger

Then you have a reallll good handle on what doesn't work. and know you need to be doing the opposite.

Hmmmmm, if only it always worked that way eh.

**The Stranger:Me** · 30th July 2009, 18:45

Originally Posted by Ms Piggy

Hmmmmm, if only it always worked that way eh.

I knew well enough what I wasn't going to do to my kids. Lessons from my childhood taught me those things.

**Ms Piggy** · 30th July 2009, 19:00

Originally Posted by The Stranger

I knew well enough what I wasn't going to do to my kids. Lessons from my childhood taught me those things.

That's awesome that it worked that way for you but I suspect because NZ has such a high rate of child abuse that not everyone learnt that same lesson.

**The Stranger:Me** · 30th July 2009, 19:14

Originally Posted by Ms Piggy

That's awesome that it worked that way for you but I suspect because NZ has such a high rate of child abuse that not everyone learnt that same lesson.

Not taking issue with you Ms Piggy. Obviously I have a different opinion, but I really don't get it. Perhaps I guess to understand I would need to be abused to comprehend how that would impact one's thinking.
To me getting a frequent hiding for having long hair when I was young ensured I kept my hair long.
I swore my kids could do what the hell they liked with their hair.
All but my daughter chose short hair. That is to me but one example of how a negative reinforcement of my youf made me change my tactics for my kids.
My kids have never been made to tidy their rooms - ever. When they were old enough to reason I simply pointed out the reasons for and against having a tidy room and they choose.

**peasea** · 30th July 2009, 19:15

Common sense, it'll never catch on.

**Dave Lobster** · 30th July 2009, 19:32

Originally Posted by peasea

Common sense, it'll never catch on.

Too much legislation around for that to happen.

**Ms Piggy** · 30th July 2009, 19:37

Originally Posted by The Stranger

Not taking issue with you Ms Piggy. Obviously I have a different opinion, but I really don't get it. Perhaps I guess to understand I would need to be abused to comprehend how that would impact one's thinking.

Yeah I think that's it actually.

I honestly don't get it either - why some people abuse their kids. But then awful things happen everyday. And then there's parents like you who have chosen to turn the table on some of the bad things happened to you as a kid. Nice work!

**Genestho** · 30th July 2009, 19:56

Originally Posted by peasea

Common sense, it'll never catch on.

A salute!
To an old friend commonsense, who left a long time ago!

**Winston001** · 31st July 2009, 10:43

Originally Posted by T.G.W

I wonder if that's often the handicap, parents so busy reading books and watching super nanny that their own commonsense is watered down?

Confession time - I'm one of those losers. We have a shelf-load of books by Christopher Green, Steve Biddulph, Penelope Leach, Celia Lashlie, Ian Grant etc. My wife and I went to parenting seminars whenever they available.

We joined a playgroup of other mothers resulting in strong friendships for my wife and an instant set of "brothers and sisters" for our children. These kids are still friends 10 years later, as are the parents.

And now I discover my 14yr old son is a delinquent.

Apparently he (and two mates) have been "yarding" which involves jumping over back fences at night to see how many properties you can get through. Once.

I'm going to search his room for heroin tonight.

How could I have gone so wrong.......