Epic Adventure Part 3: Brown Fury heads to the BIKOI

[Ixion]

But is the poar little abused two smoker good to go ? Where is it now anyway?

[Danae]

Like all good adventures, pretty much everything is planned the night before or not at all, and it was no different on the third instance of the Epic Adventure. This time, Brown Fury was headed towards Wellington for the National Bikoi at parliament. Motorbyclist and I decided to leave on the Sunday to ensure we actually got there in time - and considering the route we had planned I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't.

Saturday night found me and motorbyclist at our respective houses hurriedly finding backpackers near New Plymouth and packing our things. My laptop had a basic Auckland to Wellington via Raglan map planned out on Google, a couple of backpackers' websites and Kiwibiker opened by the time I crawled into bed at 2am.

I wake up early (8am) to the sound of my generic alarm tone, quickly pack the rest of my things and eagerly await motorbyclist's arrival via two stroke. He announces his 10am arrival by ring-a-ding-dinging by my garage and tooting Brown Fury's hilarious horn. I jump in my gear and fire up my mighty FXR (all 150cc of it) and we are off to Cycletreads to find a new chain.

After a few tales of Brown Fury's past adventures, the mechanic takes Brown Fury out back and replaces the chain. Not wanting to watch, we head outside and see someone arrive on a Ninja - PirateJafa no less! After poking fun at him a bit and half accepting his reasoning ("A pirate riding a ninja...isn't that the ultimate insult?") the mechanic finishes and we head off to buy spark plugs. The first Repco we come to doesn't have them, so we ride all the way over to Sylvia Park to get one. Jafa then heads off to Kaiaua for a blat and at around 12pm we finally get on SH1 and head south.

Stopping at the BP in the Bombays allows the rain to start so we top up the oil, have some coffee and hide from the rain. We eventually concede defeat and head out at 1pm, gradually getting colder and wetter. We head down SH22 to Raglan for a late lunch of delicious seafood chowder and a couple more coffees.

By 4pm we realised we were going to have to take a shortcut or two, and from memory there was a road that cut the corner to get to the main highway south. After follwing a caravan through Raglan (we could see a person standing in the rear trying to pack things while they crawled over speed bumps) we stopped at a Mobil map library to find our route. There were two ways immediately south to a place called Kawhia, and one was a dead end. With Brown Fury's keychain being a compass, what could possibly go wrong?!

[Danae]

We fight the wind south and blat down an awesome twisty road. Shortly we see a sign that reads "Gravel Road". A few meters later the road does just that. Confused, we stop and head back up the road thinking we missed a turnoff somewhere and come across a local on his farmbike. He assures us we are going the right way: "There's about a half an hour of gravel and a few detours." Motorbyclist and Brown Fury had handled plenty of dodgy gravel roads on the original Epic Adventure, but I still have my L plate and the most gravel I had ridden on was when I first bought my bike from a guy with a gravel driveway. But this mysterious back road cried adventure (and going back around would take too long) so off we went; slowly at first but I became more confident as we pressed on. The road twisted and turned down to a harbour where motorbyclist needed to pee. Whilst doing so in the middle of the beach the only car on the entire road wandered past. :slap: We passed the Otorohanga/Waikato boundary and really felt like we accomplished something. Several detour signs later and we finally reach sealed roads again. We pop out somewhere on SH31 and use Brown Fury's compass to (successfully) lead us to the nearest town, Oparau (which is essentially a gas station and a few houses). We wander in and ask to use a map; the friendly locals help us out and assure us that if we continue along SH31 it is a much nicer, straighter ride. They blatantly tell us NOT to follow the road that leads to Te Anga and on towards Waikawau. Now I'm fairly sure that adventuring on motorbikes does not involve the words "safe" or "straight roads", so we politely ignore the locals' advice and pootle off towards the Te Anga road.

There are times when not taking sound advice leads you to trouble...and there are times where you are better off for not listening at all. This was one of those times. The road through Te Anga was stunning to say the least. Since we were travelling slowly, we could both crane our necks around and drink in the scenery. The road wound around hills and through valleys; each turn brought amazing views of unique geological formations, hills stretching off into the distance, native forest and hardly another car in sight. The roads were damp but not much could bother us at that point.

At around 7:30pm we reach the coastal holiday town of Waikawau, tired but undoubtedly satisfied. The road to Awakino has a sign declaring it's open, and motorbyclist ws concerned if we went into Waikawau we'd be doing the road in the dark if the backpackers was closed. After some deliberation we go into the town to find the backpackers and it looks well and truly shut; the doors and windows are closed and the curtains are drawn. Just before we give up and start to leave, motorbyclist notices the TV is on in one of the rooms. Victory! We knock on the window until a elderly lady comes out and tells us that Awakino (and a pub) is only half an hour's ride away. We stand around debating while daylight slowly fades, and decide to take the road - seeing as Awakino is so close. Oh how misinformed we were.

[Danae]

The road starts off with gravel which we (thankfully) manage to get through before nightfall. I'm coming up to around 220km on my trip meter and my FXR usually gets 160km before hitting reserve. Daylight fades and we are travelling through near blackness, following only the reflections Brown Fury's headlight makes with the road markings. We almost run over several types of animals (including a couple of frogs, hedgehogs and a sheep) and the road is fairly twisty. During daylight this would have been an absolute pleasure to ride, but this wasn't daylight. We get a little lighting assistance from a local for a number of kilometres, but they turn of before we reach the end. My bike jutters and loses power; I switch to reserve as the trip meter reads 250km. And still we are not at the end.

Nearly 2 hours after leaving Waikawau we bump into SH3. It is now about 9:15pm and there isn't much hope that the pub is open. Nevertheless, we soldier on past the closed petrol station. A few minutes later we round a corner and are suddenly blinded by a beacon - the Tui sign from the pub! Brown Fury's headlight is drowned out by the light, the road markings disappear and we nearly run into a barrier turning into the pub carpark. The hours on the door state that it's open until 8pm on a sunday; Bugger! But hearing our dissapointment the owner of the establishment comes over and lets us in.

The bartender listens to our story so far and tells us with regret that all the rooms are booked out; apparently a bowlers' club filled the entire place up. Further disheartened at the news that the local motel rates are well over our budget and that the backpackers closed down, we sit down to eat our dinner (packet of chips) and wonder what we are going to do for sleeping arrangements.

The bartender clearly takes pity on us and calls his wife; they have a half-finished house we can stay at. Our luck turned from good to bad to good again!

The ride there is a wild sprint keeping up with a car along the open highway, but sure enough we get there safe and sound.

Once we get there we cover the bikes with a tarpoulin and hope the wind doesn't blow them over in the night. The loft isn't insulated so the wind noise increases tenfold, and a family of birds inside the ceiling made their presence known throughout the night, but we manage to get to sleep nonetheless.

[Danae]

1. Brown Fury receives a well-needed chain replacement at Cycletreads
2. The ninja gets a scrutinizing once-over by motorbyclist; "It's gunna blow up"
3. The second Repco. Parks are for wimps, Brown Fury goes half and half!
4. Ready to hit the road!
5. SH22. The views only got better
6. Raglan. Honestly there's not much there, but damn that was some good seafood chowder!

[Danae]

1. The start of the gravel road. Little did we know it would continue like this for 50km
2. The Otorohanga/Waikato boundary
3. Using the compass to tell us where to go...but the compass seems to only point towards Brown Fury
4. Night begins to descend...
5. The Pub of Hope!
6. Our blingin crib for the night

[Danae]

ATGATT!!

All the gear, all the time! You never know when danger will strike...in BEE form!

[Slyer]

Wait haven't I read all of this before?

[Ixion]

That was a different this. Same players , same script, same fail, different universe.

[The Pastor]

Yawn .

[motorbyclist]

That was a different this. Same players , same script, same fail, different universe.

Jafa has been replaced by Danae due to the fact he was too lazy to go to the BIKOI, let alone fix The Beast

[Ixion]

Oh dear. hell hath no fury like a jafa scorned. But he's bin and gone and bought a Kawasaki, goodbye to the Honda. Does that mean you've both gone back into the closet?

[motorbyclist]

We were woken up early on our second day by what sounded like a family of birds having some sort of bird party in the loft. We got up and had coffee by the window admiring the view until it started raining, aat which point we decided to gear up and leave. We were glad to see that the bikes survived the night outdoors, and after thanking our gracuous hosts and emptying the jerry can into the FXR we were off!

The Mount Messenger twisties that immediately followed were awesome. Since our top speed going up a hill was about 30km/hr the road lasted for a lot longer than it should have, the shoddy surface was not a concern and we got to enjoy the awesome scenery. At the peak of the road there was a lookout so we decided to have a look out - there was an access track going off into the bush so in the spirit of adventure we ring-a-ding-dinged off into it. Within 15m it reduced to mud, and another 15m had an epic washout that brown fury thought would be a good place to slip out at the front a bit while I was looking down what was almost a 100m fall. We decided to turn back and head on down the mountain.

The road straightened out and continued to meander through the valleys before reaching the flat plains to New Plymouth. The road stretched of forever and it wasn't until passing a tractor we stopped by a camping ground hoping to find some breakfast/lunch. The road took us all the way down to a well hidden and pretty densly packed holiday spot with few people around. We enjoyed some cellphone reception then headed back to the dairy situated by the camping ground office. A small kid there clearly though Brown Fury was the coolest sounding thing around, and the dairy owner kindly informed us that there was a vilalge with fuel and food just down the road, so we moved on. Brown fury popped a sick wheelie/jump on the double speedbumps on the way out.

We reached Waitara and soon realised that New Plymouth was just down the road, we gassed up, shared an up&go and on we rode. We passed the tractor again and the road continued to stretch on forever. After passing the token "Welcome to New Plymouth" sign, there were still around 14km until we reached the city proper. Incredibly we managed to find a BP (that even sold 98!) and the FXR ticked over 26,000ks. Navigating New Plymouth wasn't particularly hard, but it still took us fifteen minutes to find a Subway. We marvelled at the efficiency and common sense the employees displayed, as opposed to the absolute retardedness of the Subway workers back in Auckland. The only thing that spoiled it was a sign reading, "Due to circumstances beyond our control, we are unable to toast sandwiches."

A delicious (but un-toasted) meatball sub each later we are back on the road, but something lures us away from our intended course: what seems to be a large rock protuding out of the ground. Brown Fury seems to know the route and sure enough takes us straight to the base. Like all good bikers we are vigilant in the ATGATT mentality and decide to tackle the mountain in full gear and surely the rain will keep us cool. We feel reassured in our decision as we are assualted by several warning signs noting the dangers of the climb. The track is less of a track and more a series of stairs and large rocks you had to climb over. Suffice to say we got sick fo this walking thing even faster than when jafa and myself climbed up the east cape. A quarter of the way (if even that) we stop and the first thing we see as we look out over New Plymouth is a hill of similar altitude to where we were currently standing - with road access. The next thing we see is a marvelous view of cloud cover. Apparently on a clear day you can see Mt Taranaki; we could barely see the base of the first in the series of three mountains. A facepalm later we descend the track. From the base we look back up to see a couple of brave people climbing back down from the summit; the track was more a ladder than a track. Swearing to do it again another day, we jump back on the bikes. Time was a wastin'!

[motorbyclist]

We leave New Plymouth behind in a cloud of blue smoke and head onto SH45: The Surf highway. We figured it would be pretty awesome; the coast on our right, Mt Taranaki on our left... SH45, although it somehow curves around the mountain, would have to be one of the straightest roads I have ever ridden. It was so straight you forget when the last corner was, and the furthest thing you can see is the rain in the distance, falling on the same road directly in front of you. We couldn't even see the sea, let alone the mountain. at one point we caould almost see the middle peak but then that was quickly obscured. To make things worse we were assaulted by a headwind just about all the way west so our max speed was reduced further to 60-70km/hr, but as we turned to head east again the wind gave us a push to almost 90kph! At this speed we found we had to keep stopping to let Brown Fury cool off for lack of air flow and mroe importantly, let the rain get ahead of us again!

An eternity later we finally made it to Hawera. We stopped outside the first bike dealer and tried to get a hold of Paul (Paulmac). No luck, so into town we went, armed only with "turn left at the MacDondalds". Left quickly got boring and school traffic was abound so we headed for the large grey "control spire" in the centre of town. Consfused at the sight of what was apparently a water tower we txted Paul and went to the McDonalds for cake and coffee. We plonked down at the McCafe and met Paulmac who apparently works at the local Suzuki dealer. We couldn't hang around for very long, however, and after a quick chat about the BIKOI and Brown Fury we were soon back on SH3, headed towards Wanganui.

It was 4:30, and felt we may make actually it as far as Levin. The two hours travelling at night the previous day saved us quite a bit of travel time. Thanks to what must have been a gale force tailwind we were through Wanganui much sooner than expectedand heading towards Bulls. I was concerned that doing 90kph with my visor open didn't even feel like 40kph and Brown Fury was revving high to maintain speed, but the sign for Bulls came and went, and we didn't stop until Sason, vaugely remembering something about a pre-BIKOI meeting at a pub which we couldn't find.

Since Hawera we had been seeing more and more bikes on the road, and when we were about to leave Sanson we bumped into two of the BRONZ blokes on a large scooter and an small car/scooter hybrid (DN01). Apparently people were staying in Palmerston North and we considered staying with the rest of the riders in the Bikoi but figured we needed a headstart. The two BRONZ riders wished us luck and we were on our way again.

[motorbyclist]

We had been through tight twisties, steep hills, gravel, potholes and roadworks, yet nothing was quite like the stretch to Levin. As soon as we made the right turn to wellington that terrific tailwind we had been enjoying was suddenly coming in from the side; speed immediately plummeted to 40kph as Brown Fury veered for the ditch and after that anything more than 50kph was borderline dangerous. Brown Fury couldn't keep left as in one gust we'd go from centreline to grass verge, and I had to basically ride towards the paddock ont he other side of the road to go stright. Everytime a truck passed us, we were sucked in beside, givena speed boost to over 70kph and dragged along behind before being dropped and left ot the mercy of the wind and then buffeted like crazy as they continued on. Trucks coming from the other way were even more fun, tearing us from our bikes with the initial air blast, leaving a dead zone for a moment and then leaving us back in the wind. We were passed by two bikers on a bright blue trike; they waved as they breezed by and overtook the car infront. A white Burgman passed us, tailgating a 4WD for cover from the wind and still travelling with an impressive lean.

After what seemed like the whole trip over again we finally made it to Levin. We stopped by the welcome sign, physically exhausted, and said to each other, "Holy. Shit." Welcome to Levin.We took a moment to recuperate then headed into town to find some fush and chups. It was only around 7:30pm and most of the takeaway stores were shut. A cold wind was still blowing, and we were aching for somewhere to just sit down and eat. Sitting outside the only open fush and chups shop we figured that we were close enough to Wellington that we may as well try to make it there; after all, we were guaranteed a place to sleep at Danae's mum's apartment and there would definitely be food in the captial.

Not two minutes out of Levin and an oncoming, grumpy looking cop sees Brown Fury's lack of headlight and slams on his brakes. He pulls a u-turn and the disco lights come on. I flick the lights on seeing as it was getting dark enough to justify anyway and check my speed before pulling over. The policeman sternly asks for licences and checks Brown Fury's rego/wof which proves amusing as there's quite a few on there and I've no idea which one it the latest one. "I hope you didn't turn your headlight on just because you saw me, but the law has changed!" I didn't even bother to explain that if I had the headlight on during the day the battery would drain and then there would be no usable headlight nor indicators during the night (the charging system isn't too flash). The cop then turns Danae the L plate rider and asks how fast a Learner is allowed to go. "70k, about as fast as we can go anyway". The cop is unimpressed, but leaves it at that. Out of curiosity I ask him If he pinged us, and how fast we were actually going, as both our speedos are hardly reliable; Brown Fury's needle was bouncing somewhere between 90 and 110, and the FXR (with 20% error) was reading about 80. The cop hesitates. "Uh...85k." We both hide our disbelief. The cop leaves and we empty the jerry can into the FXR (having just hit reserve) and head down SH1.

We stopped in Otaki for a coffee and caught up to the trike. Another biker or two came over for a chat; everyone it seemed was heading for parliament. At this point the sun was ready to set. We quickly filled up and prepared for the final leg.

SH1 along the coast was dodgy to say the least. Some idiot had put cheesecutters down the median line and concrete on our left, and now it was dark we were relying on our pathetic lights completely drowned out by the glare of oncomnig vehicles. Traffic queing behind us was mounting so when we hit roadworks the stop-go men let us through and we soon reach the end of the coastal section. After that is a bit of a 50kph section and then back onto open highway - no, roadworks ahead. Riding at night, hard left in the emergency/Brown Fury lane, traffic was pretty unrelenting, and despite indicating I had to make a dangerous swerve back into careless traffic to avoid a pile of gravel left in the lane. a few hundred metres later the lane has a small jump for a driveway and then narrows. At this point I decide the cagers clearly don't appreciate my keeping left enough and pull back into the middle of the lane; they're all going to slow down for impending roadworks anyway.