Funny bike stories

[FROSTY:Me]

It looks to me like this silly season is apon us. people getting agro.extra stress etc.
So how about some funny BIKE stories.
Like the time I was on a big ride and pulled into a gas station for gas. I just plumb forgot to put my foor down and the bike slowly toppled over sideways and lay there with me under it wondering what the heck had happened.

[KiwiGs]

So many to choose, there was the time I walked home after a few Fantas from the pub and decided to push the bike down the drive to so my drunken flatties wouldn’t touch it.
I stepped in a hole and the bike fell on me, pinning me face down under it.......

[R6_kid:Me]

My neutral light came on as I selected 5th gear at 185kmh at Pukekohe on Friday. It hasn't gone out since.

[StoneY]

Was at a RD350 Owners picnic back in like 86/87 or so

There were like 7 blue and white 350LC/D models there

Turns out there were only 3 different ignition barrels out of all 7, we had a ball 'accidentally' taking the wrong bikes to the shop down the road and back


What number plates?

[Fatt Max]

I forgot to take the steering lock off my bike once when parked outside a Cafe in Auckland's K Road.

Waved goodbye to the rather attractive waitress who I had been chatting to and swung the best U turn in history right into a lamp post. The waitress and entire occupants of a nearby bus thought that was a great laugh

[cowboyz]

Ha! This reminds me of a time when we were growing up.. mid teens.. and I was sitting out on the front porch of the house we grew up in with my 5 sisters (of which they got the looks, I got the brains) and this guy on a DR comes up the road.. has a bit of a look then turns round for an awesome wheelie up the road... which he fell off the back of.
The biggest problem with falling off the back of a bike is the distance the bike travels and you have to go retrieve it with 5 teenage girls (and me) cheering all the way.

Good times......

[ManDownUnder]

As a kid I learned to ride on a Peewee 50 in central Taranaki, the neighbours kid had one... AWESOME fun it were!

So there's the time his cousin got on the thing, and after a few instructions he realised he knew it all, so he employed the one control that'd caught his attention... the bit that made it go of course.

So he did... sadly... the bit that made it stop didn't grab his attantion quite so much although the fence at the far end of the paddock (which he rode straight into at full tit) certainly did.
==
... or there is the time we found this patch of fresh smooth soft dirt and practiced our "manoeuvering" in it. in from the left, the top, up and down made a hell of a mess but what a ball... we would have been there for an hour hacking it up...

... and then Mr Bray showed up - the groundskeeper... who'd spent quite a while laying grass seed, raking it over, watering it. Poor bastard. He knew my Dad too and when I got home I learned a valuable lesson in motorcycle communications 101.

Ride as fast as you like - you ain't going to beat the phone...

[martybabe]

Oh good lord, I have hundreds. A quicky....

On a long journey home in the dark and the rain, on the motorway from hell, I discovered that if I dropped my head to a certain spot, a lovely slipstream of air from the fairing would do a really good job of clearing my visor of rain drops and shit sos I could see where I was going.

The bride, whilst not new to pillioning, had never been riding in a monsoon before so according to her logic, the only explanation for this bizarre sequence of head dropping and lifting was that I was periodically falling asleep and the only solution to this frightening predicament, whilst hammering along in the dark and the rain, was to punch the living bejebus out of my kidneys till I pulled over.

It's amazing how hard women can punch when they think the designated driver's falling asleep eh.Bless her

[EgliHonda]

and after a few instructions he realised he knew it all, so he employed the one control that'd caught his attention... the bit that made it go of course. the bit that made it stop didn't grab his attantion quite so much although the fence at the far end of the paddock (which he rode straight into at full tit) certainly did....

Shit that's almost eggzacchary what happened on my first ride. Little Honda 50 mini bike, I was about 5. Rudimentary instructions, took off, realised I was just going faster and faster in circles, cousins yelling instructions every time I screamed past. Avoided the fence but ended up smashing into a plough, bunged my knee up pretty good and was sworn to silence so no-one got in trouble...

Sadly still ride much the same today...

[Bender]

New girl moved into neighbourhood so grabbed the bike to go and do something that might catch her attention. Ended up riding into the metre-deep ditch outside her place and when bike stopped suddenly at a driveway crossing your hero went over the bars, bending his right knee backwards severely.

Crutches and buses for transport several weeks.

Then... cruising up to the local pictures, which they used to run in the community centre. I was on my T350 Suzi - I cruised up and lazily extended my right foot to hold me up as the bike started to gently lean to the right. One of my party tricks that I thought looked cool. About then I found that the kickstart lever was up the inside of my jeans.

I decided that being cool was not a good look for me. I could not re-arrange the natural order of the universe.

[gijoe1313]

Riding up north to Kaitaia and sometimes beyond, at night ... have come across these few tidbits of hilarity and puzzlement.

A box of kaimoana strewn liberally across the middle of the road, crayfish, crabs and other such crusteceans skittling across the road. I wish I had brought a backpack so my whanau would have been well chuffed with the feed!

A naked man jogging down the road wearing only ladies suspenders, the black thigh high lacy ones with the garters!

An empty car with the drivers door open moving slowly down the road ... with no driver. I pulled ahead a distance, got off my bike, and hopped into the car and drove it over to the side of the road. No idea where the occupant(s) were, didn't hang around to find out either! Could hear banjoes playing in the hills ...

And then, there was this one time at band camp ...

[StoneY]

Oh yeah my mate just told me (we just had coffee) to write up my big wheelie, in front of all the kids at Aoetea College, late Nov 1984 (on restricted license)

Theres a long, gentle straight wide uphill beside the school, leads to the engineering block, and the coal chutes for the boiler

Lunchtime, my GF and her mates hanging out on the 'smokers' bank, I slow down at bottom of hill, select 3rd on my XR200RE, and hoist the front wheel

Slip her into fourth, cross it up, victory sign with the left,200m mono, to cheers, claps, girly admiration woooohhooooo! Mission accompished...I thought

Till I put wheel down, click into false neutral.....and promptly fall off coz bike didnt accellerate as expected, just fell over sideways, me and all and add insult, bent the bars, broke the clutch lever gah!

Sigh.....
Girls! Always there fault!

[huff3r]

Oh yeah my mate just told me (we just had coffee) to write up my big wheelie, in front of all the kids at Aoetea College, late Nov 1984 (on restricted license)

Theres a long, gentle straight wide uphill beside the school, leads to the engineering block, and the coal chutes for the boiler

Lunchtime, my GF and her mates hanging out on the 'smokers' bank, I slow down at bottom of hill, select 3rd on my XR200RE, and hoist the front wheel

Slip her into fourth, cross it up, victory sign with the left,200m mono, to cheers, claps, girly admiration woooohhooooo! Mission accompished...I thought

Till I put wheel down, click into false neutral.....and promptly fall off coz bike didnt accellerate as expected, just fell over sideways, me and all and add insult, bent the bars, broke the clutch lever gah!

Sigh.....
Girls! Always there fault!

Oh dear. Nothings changed. That hill is still the "smokers" bank.
But now no-one takes bikes to school, since boy-racer cars are the craze these days

[MSTRS:Me]

Then... cruising up to the local pictures, which they used to run in the community centre. I was on my T350 Suzi - I cruised up and lazily extended my right foot to hold me up as the bike started to gently lean to the right. One of my party tricks that I thought looked cool. About then I found that the kickstart lever was up the inside of my jeans.

Been there - done that. On the big brother - T500. Luckily the pants were cheap, and I managed to rip them clear, before bike and I enjoyed a wee liedown.
Left side kick lever on the T series...

[Insanity_rules]

One time, my buddies were waiting in my driveway for me to come out for a ride so I hopped on my trusty VF400F, rode past the carport, hit my bar end on a carport pole and the bike deposited betwen my feet. Flash!