Smacking - sometimes it's just hard not to do!

[Karl08]

The trouble is the "non smackers" take the moral high ground and point the finger at Parents who choose to smack

The "smackers" get defensive and assume all non smacked kids can behave.

Yet in the midst of all this, the people who abuse their kids just keep on doing it.

We could all tell stories about getting the strap/cane at school (i did- didn't work), yet kids are still suffering at the hands of people who have the parenting skills of a lemon.

So, imagine if all the people represented here decided to look around their streets and see if there is a family who could use "a new friend". Not to preach, or point the finger; but to simply model how to raise kids well. As we are all trying to do.

Feel free to mock, but I got to say that after almost 20 years working in this area I have realized that kiwis love to moan and gripe- yet very few want to be part of the solution. No courses, no social workers, just good kiwi blokes and blokettes.

[Dave Lobster]

So, imagine if all the people represented here decided to look around their streets and see if there is a family who could use "a new friend". Not to preach, or point the finger; but to simply model how to raise kids well. As we are all trying to do.

Unfortunately, all too often these days, people don't want 'help'. They see it as interference, and that other people should mind their own business.

The ones most in need of help are the ones least likely to know it.

[Karl08]

Sad, but true.

[mashman]

Sad, but true.

Even still, it doesn't take much just to say hi to your neighbour. I've known all of my neighbours, from old people (Willy and Betty, hip replacement age), to the really, and i mean really freaky woman next door (Anne)!!!!, to the guy who has a covered car in his yard (said hi plenty, just never really spoke), to the guy he watched me almost fall off the roof of the house whilst fluing it (i nearly shat my pants, top man Derek) then sorted my electricity and on... Not a constant "hi, come for dinner, we must be mates thing", just a mutual respect and interest for another human being... sometimes you become friends, sometimes you don't.

It pays to know your neighbours.

[scissorhands]

I have Japanese girls next door

[mashman]

I have Japanese girls next door

Then goddammit man go and meet the neighbours!

[EgliHonda]

Yes, say "nice chichi" and "show us your omanko" as an opening gambit...

Pleased to help...

[jimmy 2006]

problem is that there is no support for struggling parents. some people have it bloody tough.

for example

both parents are working..........struggling to pay the bills........can hardly afford to put food on the table........they get home buggered........tired......with nothing left in the tank to be able to control themselves.....little johhny smashes a window by accident or otherwise......parents loose control and smack johnny.

what i'm saying is that it there is a huge amount of stress on parents as it is and it is understandable that some can't cope and end up smacking their kids.

what i don't get are the parents that are hitting their kids whilst they are relaxed and in control. Somehow they seem to think it's ok?

[PrincessBandit]

......parents loose control and smack johnny.

what i'm saying is that it there is a huge amount of stress on parents as it is and it is understandable that some can't cope and end up smacking their kids.

what i don't get are the parents that are hitting their kids whilst they are relaxed and in control. Somehow they seem to think it's ok?

Thats the thing right there isn't it? Parents lose control and that's where child beating comes in. The whole reason behind being self controlled and level headed when giving a disciplinary "smack" on the bottom or legs is so your child doesn't end up having the living daylights beaten out of them.

I found that after using smacking while my children were very little (and Yes, I do have to admit it wasn't always in a state of calm - still didn't add up to beating my little ones however) as they got older it didn't need to be used any more. While they were young they quickly learnt that the short sharp sting of a hand on their chubbly behind or leg wasn't pleasant so if they thought their actions were likely to result in one they didn't commit planned offence. Even them theatening a prize tanty in the supermarket would be met with the knowledge a smack would ensue, and hence it only ever happened once.

You might not agree with the many of us here who admit we got hidings as kids and it didn't do us any harm, but you are entitled to your opinion just as we are.

As many have said there is a HUGE gulf between the short sharp smack followed by a loving cuddle and explanation, and a child being beaten.

[jimmy 2006]

i talk from a childhood of beatings, so struggle to differentiate a smack from a hiding with a ladel.

watching your siblings getting the shit beaten out of them is enough to either put people completely off the idea. or agree with it.

i for one are going to break the abuse cycle. and therefore do not hit my kids.

nothing beats lying down and throwing a tantrum next to your 2 your old who is also throwing a tantrum in the shops. they only ever try it once, they end up grabbing at you telling you to stop because they are so embarrased with everyone looking at them.

[neels]

I was sitting in a school prizegiving the other day where a mother had brought her little darling along. She had bought everything necessary to appease her little darling, bits of food in crinkly plastic bags, annoying noisy toys etc. When the child was bored of these and started running around bothering other people she sat staring straight ahead as if oblivious to the fact that her kid was annoying the crap out of everybody around her.

In fairness the kid probably didn't know any different, perhaps I should have given the mother a slap and told to sort their kid out?

[Pussy]

In fairness the kid probably didn't know any different, perhaps I should have given the mother a slap and told to sort their kid out?

Sounds fair to me....

[devnull]

i talk from a childhood of beatings, so struggle to differentiate a smack from a hiding with a ladel.

watching your siblings getting the shit beaten out of them is enough to either put people completely off the idea. or agree with it.

i for one are going to break the abuse cycle. and therefore do not hit my kids.

nothing beats lying down and throwing a tantrum next to your 2 your old who is also throwing a tantrum in the shops. they only ever try it once, they end up grabbing at you telling you to stop because they are so embarrased with everyone looking at them.

2 year olds don't get embarrassed by their parents - it's a game.

IF you ever have kids, try it. You obviously have never parented a toddler.

[The Pastor]

I often find, to shut kids up you have yo use your two best assets, understanding and reason.

Meet understanding, i'll show you reason later.

[StoneY]

nothing beats lying down and throwing a tantrum next to your 2 your old who is also throwing a tantrum in the shops. they only ever try it once, they end up grabbing at you telling you to stop because they are so embarrased with everyone looking at them.

Ive never met a 2 year old who knows what the word embarrased means let alone used it in conversation

I applaud the reason you claim to use this method, but relaying the popular TV ad like its your 'true story' damages the credibility

If this story was with a 4 or 5 year old.....I might have swallowed it