Funny bike stories

[Mrs Cowboyz]

how about pounding away on the kickstart of a cbr250 then after a while realised the key wasnt on!

[Interceptor]

A new (new to me) second-hand Honda VT250, only bike experience prior to this was a VERY brief ride in a paddock on a friend's dirt bike.

VT250 is delivered to my house as am so unsure of myself I don't even take it for a test ride.

I try starting it and it does not start due to a low battery, a friend suggests we try jump starting it while it goes down a hill.

So we push it to the road, he gives me a push, bike starts rolling quite well, gravity takes over and I..... just press the ignition button again..... surprisingly to me it still does not start. Hmmm... me thinks I was very new to the concept of putting it into second gear etc and actually doing a proper jump start - doh!

[rwh]

I may have related this one before, but never mind.

First day riding to work after getting my full and my 750. Start to ride down the drive, and the bike stalls. Never mind - I'll crash start it. Engage the clutch .. bike just stops, and falls over, but not as far as I'd expected - strange, but handy. Stand it up and carry on.

That evening, my flatmate asked me how my car got a big dent in it ...

Richard

[FROSTY:Me]

Latest --(as in happened just today) funny involves an LT80 quad.
My lad had removed a buggered starter motor and fitted a new one for me.the brake cables still disconnected after we had fitted new shoes, The top was still off the carby. I asked him if he'd made sure the starter worked--NOPE
best we make sure it turns over before we put plastics back on.
key on -hit the button and bang the bloody thing roared into life and fired out the gargre at full throttle--dragging me with it. Grab the brakes--noone home holey shit Across the yard it goes gathering momentum fast --BANG right into the most expensive car in stock.
Now ill be fucked if I know how a carby with no lid on it can fire into life --but I now know for sure--IT CAN
ohh and dragging across concrete on ya knees bloody hurts

[gijoe1313]

There but for the grace of God go I!

[Laxi]

Now I know this ones fabricated.....

He aint GOT any buddies

farrk ya bet me to it

[KrazyGixxerBoy]

Too many stories to mention them all...There was the time I was land splitting through peak hour traffic leading up to the Terrace Tunnel heading into Wellington....only to have the bike die just before the tunnel! Me, very embarrassed, push the bike to the side of the road and endure the laughing faces of the people I had just passed as they drove past me.

Or the time, years ago before the bypass went in when I was sitting at the lights heading north into the Terrace tunnel. Had a mate on the back...lights turned green and I gassed off....unfortunately I gave it a bit much and did a big wheel stand as I took off....looked in my rear vision mirror to see my mate standing in the middle of the road. Had to double back (which was quite a round trip) to find my disgusted mate sitting on the side of the road....Those were the days!

[jellywrestler]

any harley

[FROSTY:Me]

any harley

sorry mon I just don't see the funny side of that

[allycatz]

Was off for a walk with headphones and ipod blaring...son had left scooter right in front of front steps. Didnt notice or hear son had scooter idling on stand...dumb blonde here ....so I decides to move it...grab bars, kick off stand and scooter rides up front steps with me still attached and running beside it

[avgas]

Pulled into servo, drenching rain. Filled bike, realised wallet is in pocket of 'inside' pants.
Dimly thought it would be best to unzip the fly of the coveralls and reach it that way. Attendant gave me the strangest look.
I mean what do you say to a biker with his hand stuck wrist deep into the fly of his pants.

[quickbuck]

Pulled into servo, drenching rain. Filled bike, realised wallet is in pocket of 'inside' pants.
Dimly thought it would be best to unzip the fly of the coveralls and reach it that way. Attendant gave me the strangest look.
I mean what do you say to a biker with his hand stuck wrist deep into the fly of his pants.

Just don't say, "Two shakes and I will be right with you..."

Anyhow, my funny story:

Was sitting on the summit of Danseys pass on the way to the Brass Monkey.
Lead bike out of a group of.... 3. Missus on the back.

Stopped (98 GSX600) to assess the traction conditions before descending.
Missus decides we are going to be here for a few minutes so she puts here feet down too!
Well, Metzilers don't have traction on the ice/snow, so Fully laden GSX and two people end up on their sides.
We pick the bike up with a missing mirror/ In the mean time my mate Trev decides to lead the way.

Missus asks where should I walk to to get back on... Well I was tempted to say Iderburn Dam... But, resisted and said, "Where Trev is..... Just Crashed!
"
Yup, he managed to get his Ducati Paso all the way down the snow and ice to bin right where it turned to shingle again!
So I ride down to meet him to have a ceremonial throwing of the mirrors into the wilderness! All right for him, he can make another one at work!
(For those that don't know Paso mirrors are an all in one unit with the indicator and Ducati charge a fortnight's pay for them).

All the while Rob on his Blackbird negotiated the whole thing without a problem.

To top it off, I lost the other mirror coming up the West Coast, and clipping a marker post when I was in Mick Doohan mode.......
Made the trip back to Auckland interesting.....

Actually it was made more interesting because Trev Blew an oring in his clutch master cylinder at St Arnard, so had to ride all the way to Palmerston North without one!!!!! That is another tale entirely.

[quickbuck]

A quicker one:
Aussie Cousin came to stay on farm. I was 10 and had been riding for 4 years, she was 6, but bigger than me!

She asked dad if she could go for a ride on the CT90.
He said sure.
Started it up for her, and clicked it into gear. Explained quickly where the controls were....
Off she went. Straight beck into the garage and slammed it into the work bench. Missed the vice by a few inches.

Apparently all she wanted was a ride on the back.... Never ridden before (Or since as far as I know).

[peasea]

Off on Bonnie to pub for some beers. Throttle cable snaps on one carb, bugger. Pull inner cable out, mount bike with beer-carting pillion holding inner cable and inform pillion that co-operation is required.

I think that carb was held at full throttle for most of the trip home!

[Muppet]

F**k up No #2

I was changing the oil and filter on my cbx500f2. I over tightened the sump plug and split the sump. When the mechanic fixed my f**k up he noticed that I'd put two "o" rings on the filter instead of one ie: I'd put the new one on the old one which should have been discarded.