The question is pointless and the attitude behind it arrogant.
The answer to the basic question is defined by physics, as Crazyhorse says, go slow enough and you will fall over......simple.
As to the attitude, the road is for everyone who is legally entitled to use it. Slow and fast are relative concepts and often situationally driven. Ride to your skills, ability,environment and how YOU feel on the day. Letting others define your riding style is like signing your own death certificate. I drive 70,000ks a year in the cage (and I don't do slow) and another 15,000ks on the bike and frequently meet the sort of people you describe. Tough. Get over it. If that is going to be the least of your frustrations in life then you are goping to lead a very, very charmed life. As others have said, indulge in a little roadcraft and, heaven forbid, even a bit of patience and the situation will improve. If like me you are short on time (and patience) go find another road. I hardly ever use state highways so don't generally get held up and still use about the same travelling time so don't generally arrive any quicker, just more relaxed. All it takes is a map and a little planning.
As for the " born again wanna-be oldies and chicks getting into riding, who think it’s a cool idea to ride a motorbike – but really have no idea how to ride?" group; they are as entiltled to their lifestyle choices as you are to yours and where is that mythical line where the transition from wannabe to true biker occurs? And who are you to define it (even if only by inference).
"Twilight's like soccer. They run around for two hours, nobody scores, and a billion fans insist you just don't understand"
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