Imaginative punishments for students who can't leave your bike alone

[Forest]

Teach somewhere not in South Auckland.


However I'm not sure if that would fully fix the problem.

In my experience, entitled little shits are more commonly found in the 'better' suburbs.

[oldrider]

Don't have one of them, personally. Probably just sounds like i do.

You do so too and some girls have got more than one!

[Edbear]

Well, I'm glad I work at a primary school and not a college. I'm a bit like you and like to keep an eye on mine as well. couple of times I've gone shopping and left it parked in town....not relaxing shopping.

I do like the electric shock up the butt idea and the gooey seat

I like the way you think...

[Toaster]

Don't have one of them, personally. Probably just sounds like i do.

Big ones.

Electrocution. Nothing says "get off my bike" like 50000 volts in the testicles.

[Toaster]

When I had my first sporty I came out of a shop to see a child, icecream in hand, rubbing his dirty mits all over my lovely chrome.

I politely suggested to his mother that she should stop him doing it, and she told me not very politely that he was just exploring and I could fuck off.

About that time he explored the red-hot header pipe.

He dropped his icecream, and somehow that was my fault too.

Without ever wishing misery on a child, I sincerely believe in Karma.

I can't stand parents like that. If that was my kids I would have apologised immediately and offered to clean off the marks. I am sure most riders would do the same.

The sad thing is that parents like her merely raise a generation to follow that knows no better than her poor lack of respect for others. Our children that walk in our footsteps likely follow our actions.

[tigertim20]

C'mon folks, let's hear 'em.

This afternoon my son (who works in IT at the school I teach at) informed me that while I was at staff PD he chased off a group of junior students - four boys - who were taking turns at climbing onto my bike and bouncing up and down on it. Thankfully the steering lock was on so they wouldn't have been able to move it far...

When I got back to the music department, getting changed to come home, I see out the office door....a primary school kid (boy) who approached my bike, looked furtively around, then proceeded to clamber onto it. hahaha, I opened the office door and yelled "get off my bike". To his credit he did, but as I continued to watch him meander down toward the admin end of the carpark the little shit turned around and yells back at me "wotchu still look at me for eh??"

Grrrr. I would so love to hot wire the bike to electrocute anyone who manages to swing a leg over the seat, uninvited. A few volts of electricity through the ball sack might put them off helping themselves to someone elses machine.

earlier this year, I was subject to a home invasion, in which i had to physically fight off some cunt who broke into my home and attacked me as I lay in bed with my partner. fortunately, I had the skills to quickly get and maintain the upper hand, and dragged him by the throat down the hallway and lob him skull first into a solid gate post outside the front door.
I live in an area frequented by students, and have problems with them coming up my driveway, regardless of a gate. police do not seem to give a fuck.
after the aforementioned invasion, my attitude to any cunt on my property without my permission, (due to the police's reluctance to do anything about drunken or meddlesome students) is to respond with violence and aggression.

Not long ago I found four assholes up my driveway with their cocks out, about to piss all over my bike.
they ran when they saw my head poke out from behind a curtain, so I chased them up the road, caught one and broke his leg.

Another youg man thought throwing bottles at my bike was a fun idea (again, bike on my property). He now speaks a little differently due to losing nearlly half the teeth on the left side of his face.

You can do anything to stop ANOTHER fuckwit screwing with your baby, but you can make damn sure the same one is far too terrified to come near it again.
Its a fuking awful thing to not feel safe in your own home, and I will never feel truly safe, or get a full night's sleep in his house, which is why my response is so extreme. Fortunately, we will be moving very shortly upon the completion of our lease period.

My advice is, Dont live near student institutions, and dont park your bike where it isnt protected either by line of sight or something else. There are way to many people out there who will happily tip a bike over for a laugh and not give a second thought to what theyve just done.
A very sad reflection on our society really.

[ellipsis]

....procure a hoody type thing and a groucho marx, glasses /moustache ensemble ...wait til it happens....beat the shit out of them with a stick....run away and stache the disguise...repeat when necessary....


....hit their parents with a stick....disguised...of course...

[PrincessBandit]

earlier this year, I was subject to a home invasion, .......................
Not long ago I found four assholes up my driveway with their cocks out, about to piss all over my bike.
..................... He now speaks a little differently due to losing nearlly half the teeth on the left side of his face.

....................
My advice is, Dont live near student institutions, and dont park your bike where it isnt protected either by line of sight or something else. There are way to many people out there who will happily tip a bike over for a laugh and not give a second thought to what theyve just done.
A very sad reflection on our society really.

That's awful tt20, and makes my gripes sound completely inconsequential by comparison. Sorry to hear that you've had that experience and moving is the way you will be dealing with it.
But you and others are right: sad comment on society. The thing is that the boys who climbed on my bike, bouncing up and down on it, obviously were oblivious to the potential for damage or probably even the prospect of owning up to any they cause. In their mind nothing got broken so what's the problem? In your case the events are considerably more serious, whereas for me I'm even tempted to go along with the copout of "oh well, at least nothing got broken" because it's easier.

I now take a camera to school with me because I'm sick and tired of being lied to by students who close ranks over information which a teacher has every right to ask for. In my book any vandals, thieves and "interferers of property" are fair game to my camera lens now!

[Okey Dokey]

PB I know ya probably don't want a real solution but in my opinion you need to talk to the principle so it can be spelled out to them at the next assembily. That school will not tollerate disrespect or the possibility of the little darlings getting hurt.
I would also as suggested before put a big "KEEP OFF" sighn on the bike for the eejuts from the primary school.
(This is all based on you being at that R college still)
Incidently I can arrange for a buzz to go around the place that someones going to get susspended for it ( Via #1 son)

I was thinking along similar lines. I hope the camera idea will work for you

[oldrider]

That's awful tt20, and makes my gripes sound completely inconsequential by comparison. Sorry to hear that you've had that experience and moving is the way you will be dealing with it.
But you and others are right: sad comment on society. The thing is that the boys who climbed on my bike, bouncing up and down on it, obviously were oblivious to the potential for damage or probably even the prospect of owning up to any they cause. In their mind nothing got broken so what's the problem? In your case the events are considerably more serious, whereas for me I'm even tempted to go along with the copout of "oh well, at least nothing got broken" because it's easier.

I now take a camera to school with me because I'm sick and tired of being lied to by students who close ranks over information which a teacher has every right to ask for. In my book any vandals, thieves and "interferers of property" are fair game to my camera lens now!

It's all part of the "attitude" towards bikes being "toys" rather than a "legitimate form of transport"!

This attitude is fostered by all in sundry in positions of "authority", who should know better! (AA, Police, politicians, media etc)

[Katman]

This attitude is fostered by all in sundry in positions of "authority", who should know better! (AA, Police, politicians, media etc)

Unfortunately, it's also reinforced by the way that many motorcyclists view their motorcycles.

[avgas]

contact adhesive on the grips.......
or black paint.

[PrincessBandit]

In hindsight, I wish I'd been a little easier on the primary school kid and used it as an opportunity to "play nice" e.g. "hi there, would you like to sit on my bike? sure, I'll give you a hand. cool. Hop off now and remember you mustn't sit on anyone's motorbike unless they're there and give you permission". blah blah blah.
Might or might not work, but unfortunately for him he was the last straw in a long line of things that had pissed me off that day so he got the rocket instead.

[tigertim20]

In hindsight, I wish I'd been a little easier on the primary school kid and used it as an opportunity to "play nice" e.g. "hi there, would you like to sit on my bike? sure, I'll give you a hand. cool. Hop off now and remember you mustn't sit on anyone's motorbike unless they're there and give you permission". blah blah blah.
Might or might not work, but unfortunately for him he was the last straw in a long line of things that had pissed me off that day so he got the rocket instead.

see, I dont mind at all if somebody asks. once or twice, Ive seen a young child with mum or dad eyeballin my bike at the supermarket or something, and theyre telling the kid 'its ok to look, but dont touch'. In cases like that, Im more than happy to offer the chance to sit on it, and point at what things do what, it really makes a kids day!!.
But I get upset with people who think theyve a right to rub the greasy grubby little mitts on my pride and joy!!

[sunhuntin]

guy i know in the states has an alarm on his bike that chirps at regular intervals if anyone comes within a certain distance. the chirps get more frequent the longer the intruder stays, eventually becoming a full out alarm. it goes to full alarm if it gets touched in anyway. its also on a remote, so you can make it chirp if needed.

other than that, i dont have any suitable suggestions other than whats already been suggested.