Wtf is it with women and their inability to...

[Banditbandit]

Oh the humanity mate,imagine my despair at not having to lux

Jeez .. I loathe feeling dirty .. two days without a wash max ...

eating pizza for days

Loathe the stuff

watching non stop sport

That would drive me insane ...

and not having to fart quietly.

Fuck ... I don't bother .. just fart ... don't even have a dog to blame it on ...

Mate, you're not giving her enough reason to put up with you ... Give her a full body screaming orgasm (hers, not yours) twice a week and she'll be as meek as a pupppy ...

[Banditbandit]

I tried asking my wife the answer to this dilema and now she wont talk to me either.

See .. right there .. men want answers, women want sympathy ...

[Chaos_Warrior]

My old man used to tell me " never trust any animal that bleeds for more than twleve weeks of the year,,,,,and LIVES !
He's no longer with us now, got wiped out while working on a highway by a 7 series BMW, and no my Mum was not driving.
Cheers.
Chaos.

[Maha]

Dont ever get into the situation where they can attack you as a group, you almost need a shark cage....

[Str8 Jacket]

Dont ever get into the situation where they can attack you as a group, you almost need a shark cage....

When is your funeral mate?

[BASS-TREBLE]

Her behaviour must be explainable in some way.

Anything in the past few days to make her unhappy?
Not enough time in the kitchen maybe?

[Maha]

Me way to quick for any cold blooded lurker...

[Fatt Max]

Yep, I've gone out on a Friday night, had a godo old roar up and come home still pissed on Sunday afternoon.

As you would imagine, herself is sitting there with a face like a slapped arse and of course her mother is there with a sour look only a bulldog licking piss off a thistle could copy.

Yep, silent treatment, humpity grumps and all that other bullshit

So, what do I say..??

Fucking easy really...

"well, I dont know why you two have the arsehole, I really dont. It cant have anything to do with me cos I aint been here, so, build a bridge......"

Try that, see how you go.....

[hellokitty]

Yep, I've gone out on a Friday night, had a godo old roar up and come home still pissed on Sunday afternoon.

As you would imagine, herself is sitting there with a face like a slapped arse and of course her mother is there with a sour look only a bulldog licking piss off a thistle could copy.

Yep, silent treatment, humpity grumps and all that other bullshit

So, what do I say..??

Fucking easy really...

"well, I dont know why you two have the arsehole, I really dont. It cant have anything to do with me cos I aint been here, so, build a bridge......"

Try that, see how you go.....

Yeah....... good luck with that

[Genie]

get over it and get the fuck on with itNoticed this for as long as ive been able to piss one off which fwiws a long time.For as long as i can remember ive put up with bad cooking/worse driving/lying when asked "does this make my arse look big"/the mother in law visits,the list is endless.Recently i took the liberty of riding past my intended destination and carried on another day or 2a week later still getting the verbal etc though will concede that i was allowed to move my belongings off the back of the ute and back into the house.Anyways anyone able to explain why there so fond of hanging onto things,possibly i picked the wrong week

communication may have helped when you went AWOL....as to all the other shit...if you don't like the heat in the kitchen...get out!

[Maha]

If the pants fit, wear em I say...

[Patrick]

Whilst she was trying on a new pair of jeans, my wife asked "does my arse look big in these?"
I said "Turn the mirror on its side and have a look yourself"...

That damn question....

Tell her her arse looks big in everything, what's new... That'll stop that one...

[Fatt Max]

If the pants fit, wear em I say...

If the pants fit, rip 'em off her and shag her arse off

All women like that.....the ones that dont are only pretending

Dont forget to cuddle, fart and wipe your knob on the curtains after

[Fatt Max]

That damn question....

Tell her her arse looks big in everything, what's new... That'll stop that one...

I always liked that birthday card some one once got me...

"All Sarah wanted to hear was Jim say 'I Love You', all Jim wanted to hear was his balls slapping off Sarah's arse.."

Or, the real classic (another birthday card)..

"Your arse will look so much bigger with my cock in it"

Farking funny shit

[LBD]

If the pants fit, wear em I say...

So on your wedding night you took of your pants and handed them to your new bride...."here, put these on"

When she was in the ill fitting wrong cut baggy trousers of yours you said "They don't fit do they...remember that, I wear the pants around here"

She then slips out for her knickers and hands them to you..."Here, put these on" she seductively says.

Except you cannot get the frillys up past your knees....and your sexy new bride looks at you..."And if you don't change your Effing attitude you will never get in MY nickers"

And so the balance of power is maintained....