This I have learned

[tigertim20]

thought maybe there should be a thread for the funny/dumb/stupid shit we have done and learned from on bikes. thought it could be a good laugh so I'll start.

On a multi day ride, avoid, at all costs, foods like curry for dinner. Especially on the night before a 3 day ride. Oh, it tastes great at the time doesnt it? but then the next day after you poo, you get curry bum, that stingy ringy sphincter that burns, and gets worse as you spend ten hours a day sweating on it,and it feels like its going to tear. Only on the third day will the discomfort begin to subside.


Your turn!!

[nzspokes]

thought maybe there should be a thread for the funny/dumb/stupid shit we have done and learned from on bikes. thought it could be a good laugh so I'll start.

On a multi day ride, avoid, at all costs, foods like curry for dinner. Especially on the night before a 3 day ride. Oh, it tastes great at the time doesnt it? but then the next day after you poo, you get curry bum, that stingy ringy sphincter that burns, and gets worse as you spend ten hours a day sweating on it,and it feels like its going to tear. Only on the third day will the discomfort begin to subside.


Your turn!!

You have hemroids.

You may want to see a doctor about that.

[FJRider]

The forecast says .... heavy rain can be expected ... but you think ... nah ... I was doing a similar ride the same time LAST year ...

[Oakie]

If you happen to ride with an unattached sheepskin on your seat, do not lift your arse off the seat to fart.

We did a bit of a long trip a while ago, each on our own bikes. Having a thin seat on the old CB400 I cut up a sheepskin and rode with it on the seat and just tucked in at the back of the seat to improve the comfort. Worked well enough. Just coming back into Christchurch and I felt the need to pass a few cubic metres of flatus (that, to the uneducated is 'a big fart'). Anyway, I half stood on the footpegs and let rip. Trouble was that the wind (possibly mine) lifted the sheepskin which then slid down the side of the seat and into the chain which caused it's prompt shredding and did a pretty good job of stopping the rear wheel rotating. A pretty exciting few seconds of frantic bike control ensued before coming to a stop. Then had to extract the remnants of shrek from the chain and do a major chain adjustment at the side of the road.

Bit of a laugh really but it is sobering to think that I could have been killed because of a fart. Those who know me however would say that probably would have been appropriate.

[\m/]

Did you crap in your leathers?

[tigertim20]

If you happen to ride with an unattached sheepskin on your seat, do not lift your arse off the seat to fart.

We did a bit of a long trip a while ago, each on our own bikes. Having a thin seat on the old CB400 I cut up a sheepskin and rode with it on the seat and just tucked in at the back or the seat to improve the comfort. Worked well enough. Just coming back into Christchurch and I felt the need to pass a few cubic metres of flatus (that, to the uneducated is 'a big fart'). Anyway, I half stood on the footpegs and let rip. Trouble was that the wind (possibly mine) lifted the sheepskin which then slid down the side of the seat and into the chain which caused it's prompt shredding and did a pretty good job of stopping the rear wheel rotating. A pretty exciting few seconds of frantic bike control ensued before coming to a stop. Then had to extract the remnants of shrek from the chain and do a major chain adjustment at the side of the road.

Bit of a laugh really but it is sobering to think that I could have been killed because of a fart. Those who know me however would say that probably would have been appropriate.

Mte, thats fuckin awesome!! Im cracking up!!

[YellowDog]

On a multi day ride, avoid, at all costs, foods like curry for dinner. Especially on the night before a 3 day ride.....

Toilet paper in the fridge usually saves the day

I'm guilty of the NOT being prepared for heavy rain thing..........

[Taz]

If in doubt - power out. It may not save you but will make it spectacular for anyone watching.

[tigertim20]

Toilet paper in the fridge usually saves the day

I'm guilty of the NOT being prepared for heavy rain thing..........

I dunno if youre fucking with me, but Im gonna try that . . .

[hayd3n]

gravel is not you friend on a road bike
Expect the unexpected
the devils staircase, is just that
high kms just means its been loved more than the low km ones :thumb: :thumb:

[mrchips]

If you happen to ride with an unattached sheepskin on your seat, do not lift your arse off the seat to fart.

We did a bit of a long trip a while ago, each on our own bikes. Having a thin seat on the old CB400 I cut up a sheepskin and rode with it on the seat and just tucked in at the back of the seat to improve the comfort. Worked well enough. Just coming back into Christchurch and I felt the need to pass a few cubic metres of flatus (that, to the uneducated is 'a big fart'). Anyway, I half stood on the footpegs and let rip. Trouble was that the wind (possibly mine) lifted the sheepskin which then slid down the side of the seat and into the chain which caused it's prompt shredding and did a pretty good job of stopping the rear wheel rotating. A pretty exciting few seconds of frantic bike control ensued before coming to a stop. Then had to extract the remnants of shrek from the chain and do a major chain adjustment at the side of the road.

Bit of a laugh really but it is sobering to think that I could have been killed because of a fart. Those who know me however would say that probably would have been appropriate.

ha, ha...... shit that's epic !

[toycollector10]

On a group ride be prepared to be undertaken by one of your mates. Keep checking your rear vision mirrors....Such a bad thing to do.

[ac3_snow]

I learnt to double check all bolts, especially the important ones attached to brakes and stuff. Had one caliper come off half way through the Albany/Riverhead road, all good though, fortunately I had two so rode home carefully with the loose one tied to the bars.

[ducatilover]

Pulled number plate dragging wheelies with no rear brake.

Guess what happened?
Learned a wee bit from that one (number plate was too close to the ground...)

[Gremlin]

Avoid doing off-road stuff you don't know by yourself with a heavily laden bike. She's a right bitch to pick up, and there's no-one around to help (and unless you want to walk a long way, you HAVE to pick it up).