Limericks

[Laava]

There was a young man from Belgrave
who kept a dead whore in a cave
he said I admit
I'm a bit of a shit
but think of the money I save

[Laava]

There once was a man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two

Disappointment sets in
Need more lines for a win
In this case cocaine will do

[turtleman]

There once was a man from Exameter
Who had a prodigious diameter
But it wasn't the size
That brought forth the cries
'Twas his rythm, iambic pentameter.

[mashman]

A limerick should rhyme
Just pick the right line
Iambic pentameter as well
Can't rhyme it - oh hell
And meter is wrong this time

You may as well be writing in Greek
You mad KB limerical geek
My meter'll get worse
I'm a bit better with verse
Though your tutelage I'll happily seek

[Virago]

There was a young priest from Madrid,
Who cast loving eyes on a kid,
He said with great joy,
"I'll bugger that boy",
I didn't think he would - but he did.

[Hitcher]

There was a young vicar named Bings
Who talked about god and such things
But his secret desire
Was a boy in the choir
With a bottom like jelly on springs.

[allycatz]

My late Dads favourite....

There was a young man from Australia
Painted his bum like a dahlia
The size was right
The colour was bright
But the smell was a hell of a failure

[FJRider]

A young man that lived in a cave.
Dug up a dead whore from her grave.
He said I know it's not right.
But I've been at her all night.
And think of the money I've saved ...

[NOD]

There was a man from Peru
who did not know what to do
so he sat on the stairs
and counted his hairs
and he counted 72

[Daffyd]

There was a young lady from Japan
Who went for a ride in a tram.
The filthy conductor
Went and f***ed her
And now she's wheeling a pram.

[Stirts]

There was a fair maiden called Heather
Whose labia were fashioned in leather.
She made a strange noise,
Which attracted the boys,
By flapping the edges together.

[Laava]

There was a young man from Devizes
whose balls were of two different sizes
the one that was small
was no good at all
But the other won plenty of prizes

[mashman]

There was an old man named Mash
Ne'er allowed smoke any hash
The man said no
You can't have a blow
Drink if you want to get smashed

[tigertim20]

There once was a man named Ray
Who fashioned a c*nt out of clay
But the heat of his prick
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away



Here's to the girl named Louise
Who's pubic hair hung to her knees
the crabs came together,
and knitted a sweater
so in Winter her c*nt would not freeze!



There once was a vampire named Mabel
Whose periods were rather unstable.
One night at full moon,
She took out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.

[Maha]

nodrog was heard to have said
I like the shape of your head
If you bend over for me
Singing killing me softly
I'll make sure you come before bed.