Ask Grandpa...

[Edbear]

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Yes...

If the the data returned from the LHC proves the existence of the Higgs Boson particle, does that mean that God doesn't exist?

No, the term "God Particle" is a misnomer and the likely outcome is that man will have gone further than ever before in finding the smallest particle.

The Universe is a very ordered structure and science is at a loss to explain its origins. They hope that if they find the "God Particle" it may help to learn more about how it began. To date they can only trace it back to about a few moments after it began. The "Big Bang" was a very controlled event and the Universe's expansion was definitely not an uncontrolled explosion.

[Subike]

Well, what is the dirt made of Grandpa?

Dirt is made from the shit of earth worms,
These ingenious little underground wrigglers consume their own body weight in degraded material every day.
By passing this "rubbish" through their digestive system, they remove all sorts of things from it.
The "cleaned" minerals, etc, are the ejected out, the substance is called vermicaste. Which is pure clean dirt.
Over time other faces are added via birds, insects, animals, which increase the nutrients in the dirt.
Our own human skin contributes a vast amount of "dust" on a daily basis as we shed our skin on a daily basis.
So "dirt" is worm shit!

[Edbear]

At a movie theater which armrest is yours?

The one closest to you that the person beside you lets you use.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
When you go to Heaven, do you wear the clothes you were buried in forever?

The series would have ended far too soon and everyone wanted to see more of the girls in their bikinis...

Sorry, you don't go to Heaven unless specifically invited by God. Heaven is a Bible teaching so you must go to the Bible to find out about who goes there or not. According to the Bible, people whether good or bad, simply die and rot in the ground, awaiting the resurrection that Jesus Christ promised for both the good and the bad.

The upside is that you don't go to Hell and burn forever if you've been a bad boy, (or girl), either.

[curly]

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

[slofox]

Dear Granpa,

How could I get to bonk Elina Garanca? (This one here...)

[Edbear]

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

The British singing voice is generally a beautiful thing to hear. It is unique in the world. Very few of the tribal accents come through in song unless in a movie such as Fiddler on the Roof.

[Edbear]

Dear Granpa,

How could I get to bonk Elina Garanca? (This one here...)

You can't...

[Edbear]

You can't...

Although she is accomplished and beautiful she is not unique and would not make my list of top ten Opera singers.

[Edbear]

Grandpa has to take a break now, Grandma requires his attention. He will return later.

[slofox]

You can't...

Damn.

Although she is accomplished and beautiful she is not unique and would not make my list of top ten Opera singers.

She is in my top ten list - I do like the mezzo voice.

[Subike]

Grandpa,

what can go up a chimney down
but not down a chimney up?

[Bikemad]

well its pretty safe to assume i won't be getting an invite anytime soon so............
assuming you get to heaven.............1...will you be taking a change of undies? and 2...boxers or briefs?

[FJRider]

Grandpa has to take a break now, Grandma requires his attention. He will return later.

Are Whip's ... and funny stockings involved ... ???

[curly]

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

[ellipsis]

...how long will you be, Grandpa...