Biker botch jobs, whats your best one?

**tigertim20** · 14th May 2012, 20:17

Kiwis are known for their ingenuity, but theres a fine line between kiwi No.8 wire she'll be right type ingenuity, and a lazy arse botch up.
what silly things have you done with bikes?

My best/worst two are

Bikes failed a wof on swingarm bearings because of play in them. pulled them out, wrapped insulation tape tightly around them, and hammered them back in. Bike passed its wof the next morning, and I could get to the rally I wanted to do.
Surprisingly, it actually worked ok for the 450km I travelled before the parts arrived and I could fix it properly!.

My other one was when I was even younger, and my dads mate tole me how to save money on brake pads for my DR.
So I took his advice, I took a car brake pad, and cut it in half with a hacksaw. then I measured up the holes for the pins and drilled the holes to mount them, then I used the hacksaw to cut down the thickness of the brake pad material so it would fit in the caliper.
This actually worked quite well.

So, what silly, stupid, dumb, clever botchups have you done?

Im betting them on here who have decades of riding experience have got some goodies?

**scracha** · 14th May 2012, 20:22

Originally Posted by tigertim20

Kiwis are known for their ingenuity, but theres a fine line between kiwi No.8 wire she'll be right type ingenuity, and a lazy arse botch up.

Really....I thought they were the same thing?

**xXGIBBOXx** · 14th May 2012, 20:30

Hardcore the car to bike brakes is gold . This thread should be fun

**speights_bud** · 14th May 2012, 20:34

Stuffed a sponge between the frame and the gear shift shaft to catch the oil leaking out and onto the rear wheel, worked well enough just had to keep changing the sponge, then got around to changing the seal.

Used a small stick instead of a bolt and some Insulation tape to hold a brake fluid-less rear brake caliper on a Dr400 just to do a days trail riding.

The old Ninja tanks used to leak through the tube that runs down the inside so i threaded some clear non fuel safe plastic hose down it so the water could still go down when it rained without filling up the tank & consequently the fuel leaking out when it got over 1/2 full. Worked for the 40,000k's i owned it. Also Filled exhaust holes with bog and painted black every time i needed a warrant for 3 years, which i guess is pretty common practice.

Rode from Waikanae to Newlands with one handle bar to skunks place coz the handle bar just sheared of mid corner one day, had to pretend it was still attached (clutch side) while riding next to a cop on the motorway...

**nathanwhite** · 14th May 2012, 20:39

Mostly electrical related from me..

Soldered up some bling lighting to a circuit board and went on my merry way. Coupla months later I couldn't work out why they suddenly stopped working. Dad had one look and said, "see that discolouring on the copper tracks? means youv shorted it." Insulating tape went on pretty quick after that.

Wired up said LED's in series, cutting cables to length also. Got about 3/4 way through before realizing they were supposed to be in parallel.

Spent ~2 hours making and remaking connections for a relay that was being tripped by the tail light. For some reason only the relay was working and not the light even though it tested fine. Got fed up and called dad to get a nice "ya idiot, PARALLEL not series!"

Good ol' Dad.

I think the one that takes the cake though with me and bike 'lectrical systems was making up an auxilliary battery connector, hooking it up to the battery, measuring it out to proper length, then cutting the wire still connected to the battery

while the owner was watching too......
She was ok though, got a bit of a laugh at my expense too...

**Spazman727** · 14th May 2012, 20:46

Just a pretty minor one. Head light failed on my CB250, was gonna cost bout 30 bucks and a week or so shipping to get a new one (no idea why nobody had one) so I just put a bit of solder onto the contact and it was all good. Still is.

**Voltaire** · 14th May 2012, 20:54

Picked up my Commando last year from Blenheim....charging system died going thru Martinborough. Got two big jim lantern batteries wired in series and that got me to National Park....two more got me to Auckland. For want of a wiring diagram and a meter I could have fixed it...

nothing compared to this French dude who's car broke down and he made it into a motorcycle...
http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=773613

**pete376403** · 14th May 2012, 20:54

Had a low speed drop on a trailie, and the brake lever punched a hole through the clutch housing.

found a short piece of willow twig and hammered (ie a rock) it into the hole. Didn't leak at all and got me home. Filled the hole with araldite (took the stick out first) and painted it black. Job done.

**gatch** · 14th May 2012, 20:59

In the process of removing parts off my bike, heavily under the influence of rum and hearty banter, I took a hand saw to the license plate holder. When aluminium started coming out I stopped and checked. I was starting to cut through the ignition module.. Cable tied it out of the way, resumed cutting and rum drinking.

**Headbanger** · 14th May 2012, 21:00

Drove ten hours north for a three day dirt bike holiday, took months of planning.,

Unloaded the dirt bikes.

Rode south down the beach for an hour.

Decided to do some wanker shit, wheelies, big drifts, being a clown around other people.

Threw the chain, smashed a hole in the motor.

Used a piece of drift wood whittled down to bung the hole along with some gunk and melted plastic.

I had re-invented the total loss oil system.

Used every drop of oil the group had keeping her running for the three days.

No oil left for the ride back to where we left the wagon, No worries, rode her hard all the way.

locked solid about 200m from out trailer.

Damage was so extensive the bike was written off.

Sorry dad, Just put it on the list.

**tigertim20** · 14th May 2012, 21:05

hahaha! some doozies in here! c'mon lads, dont be afraid to share your stupidity!

Originally Posted by Voltaire

Picked up my Commando last year from Blenheim....charging system died going thru Martinborough. Got two big jim lantern batteries wired in series and that got me to National Park....two more got me to Auckland. For want of a wiring diagram and a meter I could have fixed it...

nothing compared to this French dude who's car broke down and he made it into a motorcycle...
http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=773613

Not many commandos around - did you by chance, buy that commando of a middle aged chap in Blenheim by the name of Rex or something like that?
could be the guys I used to work with, a funny story about the history of that bike . . .

**bogan** · 14th May 2012, 21:14

Originally Posted by speights_bud

Also Filled exhaust holes with bog and painted black every time i needed a warrant for 3 years, which i guess is pretty common practice.

yeh, pretty standard that

I had some hydralocking in one fork due to a damaged cartridge or some shit (never bothered to take it apart), draining the fork oil was an easy fix!

Dirtbike guard cracked 90% the way through, cordless drill and about 20 zip ties to stitch it up good as new

Shitter bike with no reg/rect, and no battery, tape an almost buggered automotive battery to the pillion seat, got about an hour between charges

Blew an engine in my KR1, just stuck a big starter motor and a few batteries in there instead

**Headbanger** · 14th May 2012, 21:17

Originally Posted by Headbanger

Damage was so extensive the bike was written off.

Sorry dad, Just put it on the list.

Makes me laugh, I was 14, I'm now 37.

Me old boy still hasn't got over it.

I'm not allowed anywhere near his bikes.

**Headbanger** · 14th May 2012, 21:21

I topped up and bled my front brakes between races.

Next race saw my front brakes lock up and I was catapulted over the bars, Yeah I was hurt, yeah it was in front of the crowd, Yeah I got straight back on the bike and immediately crashed again in front of everyone.

I won a trophy that weekend.

Everyone else must have sucked pretty bad.