Biker botch jobs, whats your best one?

**avgas** · 15th May 2012, 11:24

Current bike (87 FZR4) has flush mount indicators cable tied onto the fairing frame (fairing obviously is non existent), both tires are filled with foam as the bead is cracked all the way around, mud guard under the seat is taped up as it pretty much doesn't exist (and the CDI is missing some plastic also).
1 bolt is missing from frame near swingarm mount (3/4 is ok though).
Grips are silicone on permanently
Attacked the exhaust mount with a hacksaw to get the new exhaust to fit. This is exhaust is shoved full of goldilocks to tone her down.
Battery leads have been pulled around as the battery only fits the wrong way.

Probably heaps more I can't remember - will tidy her all up one day. Or put mud tyres on her and go somewhere silly.

**ducatilover** · 15th May 2012, 11:34

Originally Posted by unstuck

And of course we have all welded kick levers and gear levers on stripped splines right.

So you're the wanker who had my GN before me?

I've re-wound some stators myself, one of which was during a beer consuming day, so I wound one or two poles backwards. Bogan fixed it

**unstuck** · 15th May 2012, 11:50

Originally Posted by ducatilover

So you're the wanker who had my GN before me?

Wash your bloody mouth out.

I have never owned a GN, although my ex girlfriend did have one, It is still probably in the Okura estuary.

Bitch.

**SMOKEU** · 15th May 2012, 12:11

Originally Posted by unstuck

It is still probably in the Okura estuary.

Bitch.

How'd she manage that?!

**unstuck** · 15th May 2012, 12:18

Originally Posted by SMOKEU

How'd she manage that?!

SHE didn't. Bitch.

**awa355** · 15th May 2012, 12:25

Originally Posted by Voltaire

Picked up my Commando last year from Blenheim....charging system died going thru Martinborough. Got two big jim lantern batteries wired in series and that got me to National Park....two more got me to Auckland. For want of a wiring diagram and a meter I could have fixed it...

nothing compared to this French dude who's car broke down and he made it into a motorcycle...
http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=773613

If you open this link, then scroll down to post #9 there is quite a neat vid clip involving CV2's. , One giving birth.

**F5 Dave** · 15th May 2012, 13:05

I was at a Lemming Rally many moons ago, it was held around Palicer in a nasty bay in the middle of winter. Two ways in, but even the Granny route had stone steps to negotiate down (before the stream crossing). Anyways some bloke brought in his K100 Beemer, which at the time was a dreadful German roadbike, but not that old & expensive compared to any bikes we owned let alone the shitters we brought to this rally. So he smacks a hole in the cases & its bleeding.

A plan is hatched & off he goes with mates & they return with some metal filler, spare oil & what have you. . . . To find someone had already repaired it, with Araldite I think. How cool is that? Self repairing bike! Resume drinking. Repair stayed for some years.

But it wasn't as brutal as the XS11 sidecar the boys brought one year which burnt the clutch. took plates out & drilled them for bolts to lock it up. No clutch action, but got them out.

I have nothing on those guys.

**Voltaire** · 15th May 2012, 13:20

Originally Posted by SMOKEU

Just ask anyone who has seen my TS185 - the whole thing has been Maoried up!

Has it gone to the GC looking for some Aunties..Bro.?

**SMOKEU** · 15th May 2012, 14:13

Originally Posted by Voltaire

Has it gone to the GC looking for some Aunties..Bro.?

One can only assume so.

**tigertim20** · 15th May 2012, 16:46

Originally Posted by unstuck

I could do a bit of welding on the stator before I send it up if you like.

dear god please no!!!!! your parcel arrive today?

Originally Posted by F5 Dave

I was at a Lemming Rally many moons ago, it was held around Palicer in a nasty bay in the middle of winter. Two ways in, but even the Granny route had stone steps to negotiate down (before the stream crossing). Anyways some bloke brought in his K100 Beemer, which at the time was a dreadful German roadbike, but not that old & expensive compared to any bikes we owned let alone the shitters we brought to this rally. So he smacks a hole in the cases & its bleeding.

A plan is hatched & off he goes with mates & they return with some metal filler, spare oil & what have you. . . . To find someone had already repaired it, with Araldite I think. How cool is that? Self repairing bike! Resume drinking. Repair stayed for some years.

But it wasn't as brutal as the XS11 sidecar the boys brought one year which burnt the clutch. took plates out & drilled them for bolts to lock it up. No clutch action, but got them out.

I have nothing on those guys.

Bolts to lock up the clutch? awesome!

**unstuck** · 15th May 2012, 16:54

Originally Posted by tigertim20

dear god please no!!!!! your parcel arrive today?

I did Indeed, thank you. Your one should be there tomorrow.

**riffer** · 15th May 2012, 17:50

Hmmm...

Too cheap to buy clipons for my CB350. Turn the handlebars upside down. Worked a treat.
Same bike, the hole for the screw that held the points in place was stripped. No worries - a large PK screw jammed in there held it fine.

IT400 - the throttle cable bust. No worries - tie the end up in a loop and use your right index finger to control the throttle. Which would have been awesome if the bike didn't have such a grabby clutch. Took me a month until I got a new throttle cable. I've never fallen off a bike such much as during that month.

**Latte** · 15th May 2012, 17:50

Nothi g compared to some of the stories here but i managed to break a clutch perch on my dirtbike out the back of nowhere. Snapped a piece of fencing wire off the post nearby and wrapped it around the handlebar and cable adjuster, kept the perch in roughly the right place and allowed full use. It was only meant to keep it from flapping about all over the place, but worked so well it stayed there for a few months.