Motherfucken cuisine. And shit.

[Akzle]

...cool...had to eat possum as a necessity once...probably had a couple too many...like crays, cant eat them now, don't want to...

they make for good biltong

[Banditbandit]

Two quicky taste ones with shrimps - both take around 10 minutes max (unless you have to boil the pasta longer for the second one. )

Shrimp and Mushroom Soup

You will need -

1 plant of Asian cabbage (any kind)
Garlic
Ginger
Cooking oil
Salt and pepper
Sesame oil
Mushrooms (shitake are best)
Chicken Stock (I buy this in a cardboard box from the supermarket in about the right quantity).
Handful of cooked shrimps

Heat garlic and ginger (amount to taste - about a teaspoon each) in oil. When soft add mushrooms and let them cook. As they cook pour in about two cups of chicken stock and bring it back to the boil. Tear up the Asian cabbage and add, then add the shrimps. Add salt and pepper to taste. Simmer it for two minutes. Add a splash of Sesame oil in the serving bowls. Serves two with hot bread.

Shrimp and Capsicum pasta

You will need

Garlic
Ginger
One quarter of an onion (for two servings)
Red and green capsicums (I use half each to serve two people. I prefer red onions as they have a sweeter flavour)
Pasta (anything will do but I like it best with Fettuccine - and I prefer it with my own homemade pasta)
Shrimps (enough for two people)
Salt and Pepper

Heat garlic and ginger in oil in a wok or large pan. Add diced capsicums and onions. Put on water to boil for pasta. Cook the onions and capsicums while the water is boiling, until they are soft. When the water is boiling add the pasta and boil until al dente. Add the shrimps to the mix in the wok. When cooked, drain the pasta and stir it into the mix in the wok. Add salt and pepper and serve.

These are great fast recipies and you can add other things to enhance the flavours to your tastes.

[HenryDorsetCase]

new season apples are around so that generally means we OD on them but it also means quick cheap absolutely delish Tarte Tatin.

Simplest thing in the world.

get a bunch of apples and peel and core them and cut them in quarters.

get 125 grams of caster sugar and 150 grams of butter.

Get your dish. You can use a frypan (best are Lodge cast iron... I dont use nonstick). Because I am a flash prick I have a specialised Emile Henry dish but it really isnt necessary. You want something that can go from stovetop to oven though so no fucking plastic handles.

So, get your dish. Put the butter in the bottom and sprinkle the sugar over. Make a nice pattern of your apple quarters... go round the outside and then do the middle. Pack the fuckers in pretty tight.

Light a fire under that SOB. Not too high fairly gently. you want to form a caramel with your apples. Now turn your oven on so it is heated up for phase 2.... 180 C on bake

After about 20 mins yank the pan off the stovetop then plunk it into your oven. After 20 mins take the pan out and put a pastry top on that bad boy. Traditionally it is puff but you can use short. I buy the ready made ones because making pastry is a bit of an art, and a major faff, and if you buy the ones made with butter (delicous delicous butter) then you will get a good result. Put the pastry over and round your apples and if you can right up to the edge of the pan... that forms a lip to hold your caramel sauce.

after 20 or so more mins in the oven your Tarte Tatin is ready... the pastry is golden brown. Let it sit for a few then run a knife round the outside so it all comes out properly

To serve get a big plate, put it over the top and flip the whole thing upside down... so you have pastry base, caramelised apples and sauce. Serve with the best vanilla icecream you can afford. or whipped cream. Or custard. or all three.


you can do all sorts of variations to this basic recipe: Pears (or pears and apples) are really good. add other flavours (citrus... orange) and I have seen a recipe where it was flavoured with cardamom pods. ... though I havent tried that.

[Jay GTI]

...cool...had to eat possum as a necessity once...probably had a couple too many...like crays, cant eat them now, don't want to...

Ate a weka once. Well, I say ate, it was one bite and then fuck loads of spitting and washing out my mouth, eating other things with strong flavour to remove the taste, like soil.

Don't.

Ever.

[george formby]

Lamb Coughtas for tea, I make mine spicy. Last of the mince from the poor wee thing we knocked on the head last year.
Home made yoghurt bread & a fossick through the garden for accompaniments.

Yoghurt bread.

High grade flour
Olive Oil, the one squeezed by virgins
Natural yoghurt, the happier the better
salt

Dump a cup or so of flour onto the bench or into a bowl, add a couple of dessert spoons of yoghurt, a dash of olive oil & salt. Bring together to form a smooth dough. Amount of yoghurt is approximate, too wet? Add more flour. Too dry... you get the picture, it's a dough.
Roll out into side plate sized rounds, nice & thin, cook in a fairly hot skillet or on the BBQ hot plate. Bit like Naan in a hurry.
Oh, when it starts to puff up a bit flip it over & give it another minute. Wrap stuff in it or drizzle with oil & tear bits off for dunking.

[Akzle]

That reminds me of peach cobbler, hdc.
Move into the cuntry, eat a lotta peaches!

Which reminds me of:

fuken dutchy choc pud! (excellent tramping. use bread bags, shake to mix, easy to carry)

In 1 bag combine 2 cup flour, 1.5c sugar, 1/2tsp salt, 10tsp cocoa powder.

In 2nd bag combine 1cup sugar, 1c soft brown sugar, 1/2c cocoa.

Preheat dutch oven (spark up the dutchy, if youre that way inclined)
melt 6tbsp butter in, coat bottom and sides, add 1cup milk with 2tsp vanilla and 1.5 cups chopped nuts. Stir. Add bag 1. Stir. Sprinkle bag 2, tip in 1 cup water, bake long n low for 1/2 hr. Take off the heat, remove lid to cool for 10, then tip that shit on a big ass plate (or the oven lid)

enjoy it, knowing that youre going to get the best blowjobs ever afterwards (specially if youre 3 days in).

[george formby]

LOL. The way into a womans knickers is definitely through her mouth. Sounds terrible but YKWIM.

[Akzle]

LOL. The way into a womans knickers is definitely through her mouth. Sounds terrible but YKWIM.

physiologically correct...

[blue rider]

Apfelstrudel

with cream, vanilla sauce and ice cream on the side. And a nice cup of coffee.

[george formby]

Apfelstrudel

with cream, vanilla sauce and ice cream on the side. And a nice cup of coffee.

I'm a Black Belt at ze old Apfelstrudel but I draw the line at making mein own pastry. Bad enough buttering & spicing each layer.

I do like a nice bit of Stollen. And do make my own marzipan, alcoholic marzipan. Sorry can't find an umlaut.

[blue rider]

I'm a Black Belt at ze old Apfelstrudel but I draw the line at making mein own pastry. Bad enough buttering & spicing each layer.

I do like a nice bit of Stollen. And do make my own marzipan, alcoholic marzipan. Sorry can't find an umlaut.

you don't make your own pastry? Why?
but why the fear of the apfelstrudel Pastry (is more of an oil dough any ways...the stretching is a bit of a task, but not that tedious)

[george formby]

you don't make your own pastry? Why?
but why the fear of the apfelstrudel Pastry (is more of an oil dough any ways...the stretching is a bit of a task, but not that tedious)

Nail on the head. At work I would have to do enough for 40 portions, at home I have very limited space for chucking flour around & pinning dough.
Timos Filo sheets work admirably if not exactly authentic.
You could also say I'm to lazy

[blue rider]

Nail on the head. At work I would have to do enough for 40 portions, at home I have very limited space for chucking flour around & pinning dough.
Timos Filo sheets work admirably if not exactly authentic.
You could also say I'm to lazy

i would love to see you chucking flower...not sure why you would?

[george formby]

i would love to see you chucking flower...not sure why you would?

Good pastry or dough will always create collateral mess.

Shepherds pie tonight. Made from slow, rioja, braised shanks with parmesan & sage agria mash atop, studded with cherry tomatoes. Broad beans & honey baked puntkin.

[Akzle]

Good pastry or dough will always create collateral mess.

Shepherds pie tonight. Made from slow, rioja, braised shanks with parmesan & sage agria mash atop, studded with cherry tomatoes. Broad beans & honey baked puntkin.

needs m0ar spice!
Add some chilli saus!