Shit, shit and more shit

**Karma** · 15th July 2007, 11:29

Originally Posted by Fumeux

Not everyone's 7' + and built likeabrickshithouse. I know where you're coming from, but I think what you lack is an understanding of the situation.

Sometimes the mind is as real a prison as bars and concrete.

The mind is a construct of your imagination, just believing you can be happy is often enough to make it so.

And who says physical prowess is any relation to mental stability?

And regards professional help... waste of time.

Clinical Depression is just one of those things they made up to get psychs rich... same with ADD.

**Mr. Peanut** · 15th July 2007, 11:31

Yeah, you've read some philosphical literature and you understand that the mind isn't real.

You're part of the 1%...

Clinical depression is not made up. Where's your Phd?

What you're saying isn't going to help this person.

**R1madness** · 15th July 2007, 11:32

I agree with magicfairy. Time for some professional help.
DO NOT BE EMBARRESED. Get help. It really helps to talk to someone that will not judge you for your feelings. Go to your GP and tell him/her how you feel. They can arrange someone for you to talk to, and it will not cost you.
Depression is a clinical issue caused by a lack of a particular chemical in the brain that transfers good feelings. The chemicals get used up in times of stress and suffering. The body takes a long time to make them and if you have been under pressure for a long time your brain simply runs out of them. It takes a simple pill to kickstart the remanufacture of the chemical.

Put it this way, if your bike was out of tune (due to a blocked air filter) you would take it in and get it fixed. Noone would think less of you for that. Depression is the same.

**R1madness** · 15th July 2007, 11:33

Originally Posted by Karma

Clinical Depression is just one of those things they made up to get psychs rich... same with ADD.

You have no idea how wrong you are.

**Toaster** · 15th July 2007, 11:43

Originally Posted by Grahameeboy

I am surprised you can spell 'Nefarious' Ben.......

He better not be riding a bloody honda.

**007XX** · 15th July 2007, 11:45

Originally Posted by R1madness

You have no idea how wrong you are.

Originally Posted by Fumeux

Yeah, you've read some philosphical literature and you understand that the mind isn't real.

You're part of the 1%...

Clinical depression is not made up. Where's your Phd?

What you're saying isn't going to help this person.

I'd second you two very strongly...

Kitty, if you have the time, research a thread by Vifferman from about a month or so ago...
The guy laid his deepest thoughts out for all to see, and you would be amazed as to how many of us have gone through similar things to you...
There was some really good advice there, especially in regards to talking to Lifeline...
Saying this chick, if you need to talk, you only need to PM those that offer.

Keep your chin up, trust in the fact that things do get better, but like Grahameeboy was saying, it may just not happen as fast as you'd like it to.

PM me if you need to talk in more details, I'm always available to mates...

**Toaster** · 15th July 2007, 11:47

Without a doubt our lives present us with many small and some huge and overwhelming hurdles. Yeah it hurts like hell, but we have a choice.... we can use it, learn from it and build character, or we can be defeated.

I choose to win. No matter what life has or will throw at me. The darkest, toughest and loneliest times in my life have inevitably provided the greatest opportunities, I just couldn't see it at the time.... but it has made me who I am today. For that I am thankful and I am a stronger man for it.

**BuFfY** · 15th July 2007, 11:47

Hey Kittie. I really do hope that things start getting a bit better for you. In times like these you need to look at the situation and see what you do have. As far as I can tell you still have your health, your mum and a lot of people who care about you. When I am in horrible situtations I think of all the other people out there who are worse off than me.
I don't quite understand the not wanting to move thing. I have moved atleast every 6 years and have had to start again. It is hard at first but sometimes the best way to get over stuff is to move away from it completely. It isn't a case of 'running away' but is a case of taking action against what is happening.
Some things you can't change and can't get away from. But bad people you can.
Through the bad times we see exactly what we do have. I have had a fairly shit year too (guess it happens when you are 20!) yet so many people have come out of the woodwork and have supported me through it all. People have let me down, and it hurts, a lot. But when you look at things holistically you can see that there is a lot of good that comes from it all.
Feel free to PM me or whatever, I guess us young kb girls should really stick together as it sounds like a lot of us are going through very hard times.

**justsomeguy** · 15th July 2007, 11:49

Originally Posted by Karma

The mind is a construct of your imagination, just believing you can be happy is often enough to make it so.

And who says physical prowess is any relation to mental stability?

And regards professional help... waste of time.

Clinical Depression is just one of those things they made up to get psychs rich... same with ADD.

Uhmm, there's a reason it's called "clinical" depression.

You sound like a guy who's had a good life, with strong role models around you as you grew up. Or am I wrong and you've personally, i.e. directly experienced "problems". Now, I'm curious to see what your definition of problems are.

**scumdog** · 15th July 2007, 11:51

Originally Posted by Nefarious

roll a fat one and make peace with yourself

Advice that is as pleasant and helpful as a wire-brush enema......

**007XX** · 15th July 2007, 12:11

Originally Posted by scumdog

Advice that is as pleasant and helpful as a wire-brush enema......

As usual...Love your way of thinking

**slowpoke** · 15th July 2007, 12:20

Originally Posted by XxKiTtiExX

Issue being that I have taken myself out of the situation.. I did a long time ago.. Even went to the the cops for help, had a tresspass served against said person... To find out that it did not get served (found out after another bad situation)... Even though he said he would.. Major let down.. Bit hard to just harden the fuck up when it comes to that.. Not when you try getting help and get that slap in the face... Leaves you resorting to other methods of fixing the problem.. why should I be the one to leave..? Its my home and has been for 20 years of my life.. Its what this person has been telling me to do..

OUCH!! "Harden the fuck up" sounds a tad too...er... confronting doesn't it? Without being able to hear the tone or delivery it's a harsh message. I don't like the "hard" part myself 'cos it has as many negative connotations as positive. I mean does anyone want to be perceived as "hard"? If you were "hard" you'd miss just as much of the good stuff as the bad I reckon, and that's no way to live life either.

Hmmm, maybe words like "resilient", "strong", "tenacious", "self-sufficient", "independent" would be better descriptions of how we should respond to the rigours of life.

In my industry we actually do what is called MOME training: Management Of Major Emergencies. I've got as many problems as the next bloke/blokette so I've found it helpful in other parts of life too because it helps get crises etc in perspective. The key component is to carry out what is called a "threat assessment". What is the threat and what is the worst that can happen as a result of the threat or threats? Often you will find that the thing that is upsetting you most is not the biggest threat. (eg: losing your job could be more of a threat than what you see as the problem so take steps to ensure you don't take your problems to work etc)

Once you have defined and prioritised the threats you are able to formulate a plan to nullify them. It's basic stuff that can be applied by anyone:
1. Just list the problems you have in order of the worst possible result any of them could have.
2. Now brainstorm various solutions to any of the threats. (write down any and all ideas you have to combat the problems)
3. Pick the most effective solutions and take steps to carry them out.
4. Bear in mind the solutions have an effect on the situation so constant assessment and readjustment is necessary.
5. If you can't see a way forward, then seek assistance.

If you want the situation to change you must go forward. If you are just hanging on by your fingertips, you must find the strength, you must go forward. If you are stranded in a minefield, you go carefully, but you must go forward. Occasionally, doing nothing is the way forward and but usually only when it is the absolute hardest thing to do.

Yeah, yeah, horribly cliche'd I know, but lots of us have dealt with inumerable life, physical, mental or relationship threatening situations in exactly that manner. If life has crapped on you, or like a lot of us you've managed to crap on yourself, there is no alternative, you can either wallow in the filth or start cleaning it up 'cos nobody else is going to clean it up for you.

If moving in with Mum is a real step forward then do it. If it's just a 20 year old version of a sucky rug then don't. Hugs are nice, but they don't fix the situation. Remember the threat assessment and your list of solutions. Is this just a "misery loves company" solution or is it an effective step in ending the misery?

So much for my 2 cents worth...I think I owe you a dollar for that sermon, I'll leave it in the jar on the fridge OK? Bugger I've only got a fiver, can I pinch a Tui?

**Karma** · 15th July 2007, 13:44

Originally Posted by justsomeguy

You sound like a guy who's had a good life, with strong role models around you as you grew up. Or am I wrong and you've personally, i.e. directly experienced "problems". Now, I'm curious to see what your definition of problems are.

I've had some role models yeh, but I've also been through some shit you wouldn't wish on an enemy.

Perhaps I'm just one of the few that believes in brushing yourself off and moving on, rather than bleating about how life ain't fair and everyone hates me.

**NotaGoth** · 15th July 2007, 18:36

Originally Posted by Karma

I've had some role models yeh, but I've also been through some shit you wouldn't wish on an enemy.

Perhaps I'm just one of the few that believes in brushing yourself off and moving on, rather than bleating about how life ain't fair and everyone hates me.

Sometimes things just aren't as plain cut and dry as you may think