Best opening paragraphs

**ManDownUnder** · 9th July 2007, 15:46

Originally Posted by maha man

Done a bit of research...its called..'007XX Wrestles a Panther'....

Remarkably close... but no banana (ooooo that pun is better than I meant it to be...!)

**Skyryder** · 16th July 2007, 22:46

Originally Posted by ManDownUnder

Author yes... but the name of the book please...

It's a guess but it could be Justine. I've only read bits and peices of de Sades works. Not realy my tast. The Story of O by Anne Declose while not as well written as de Sade is in much the same catorgory; debauchery, sadism etc of woman.

Skyryder

**Biff** · 16th July 2007, 22:50

Originally Posted by Sanx

If, like me, you pick up a book in a book store and read the back, then read the first page then you'll appreciate the art of a good opening paragraph. So, what's the best one you've seen?

My favourite:

"Was there anything quite so under-rated in this shallow, plastic, global-corporate, tall-skinny-latte, kiddy-meal-and-a-toy, united-colours-of-fuck-you-too world, than a good old-fashioned, no-frills, retail blow job?"

The second paragraph's as good:

"It was one of the very few consumer transactions left in which you really did get what you paid for, no more and no less. No packaging, no marketing, no fake smiles, no on-the-door greeters, no aspirational lifestyle kudos; just functional, dispassionate cock-sucking for a pre-agreed flat fee."

Bling for the first person that recognises the book...

Something by Irvine Welsh - The Wasp Factory perhaps?

**vifferman** · 17th July 2007, 09:46

Originally Posted by Sanx

Fantasic book, guys - go read it. And then the other nine he's written.

I did! Or rather, 'I am'! And I'm really enjoying it. If you hadn't started this thread, I probably wouldn't have.

I didn't realise I'd already read his, "Boiling a Frog", so maybe that wasn't as entertaining.

**ManDownUnder** · 17th July 2007, 09:49

Originally Posted by Skyryder

It's a guess but it could be Justine. I've only read bits and peices of de Sades works. Not realy my tast. The Story of O by Anne Declose while not as well written as de Sade is in much the same catorgory; debauchery, sadism etc of woman.

Skyryder

120 days of Sodom...

**Hitcher** · 17th July 2007, 09:51

Originally Posted by ManDownUnder

120 days of Sodom...

My sphincter tightened.

**ManDownUnder** · 17th July 2007, 09:53

Originally Posted by Hitcher

My sphincter tightened.

You'll need lube then.

I am concerned at how rapidly you responded to the mere mention of Sodom... your Mod superpowers working overtime, or just a personal interest?

**007XX** · 17th July 2007, 10:13

Originally Posted by maha man

Done a bit of research...its called..'007XX Wrestles a Panther'....

Why you little...!!!

would you like to share with the class how you came to that interesting conclusion???

I , for one, would be most interested...

**ManDownUnder** · 17th July 2007, 10:18

Originally Posted by Biff

Something by Irvine Welsh - The Wasp Factory perhaps?

LOL.... I thought that was Iain Banks ... a very sick book Biffy... I can't imagine you'd have read it right through (more than 4 or 5 times)

**Toaster** · 17th July 2007, 10:26

Originally Posted by Macktheknife

Jeezus dude calm down, maybe you need a holiday or something.

I reckon mate geez!!! Someone musta fell out of the funny tree and hit their head on the way down.

**Biff** · 17th July 2007, 11:15

Originally Posted by ManDownUnder

LOL.... I thought that was Iain Banks ... a very sick book Biffy... I can't imagine you'd have read it right through (more than 4 or 5 times)

Doh!! You're right! Although unless you understand lowland Scots slang, it's almost impossible to understand. And I only read it the once. He;s one sick dude.

**Maha** · 17th July 2007, 16:32

Originally Posted by 007XX

Why you little...!!!

would you like to share with the class how you came to that interesting conclusion???

Hell i have know idea..seemed the right thing to say at the time, was just trying to help Ned with the book title i think?.... or was it the Girl on Girl action ?... cant recall.....

**007XX** · 17th July 2007, 16:36

Originally Posted by maha man

Hell i have know idea..seemed the right thing to say at the time, was just trying to help Ned with the book title i think?.... or was it the Girl on Girl action ?... cant recall.....

They do say that memorie loss occurs with old age...Sorry Dude! alzheimer is setting in it would seem...

**Maha** · 17th July 2007, 16:49

Originally Posted by 007XX

They do say that memorie loss occurs with old age...Sorry Dude! alzheimer is setting in it would seem...

Contradistinction springs to mind, indeed some would arguably agree with you, i tend not to let such an idiosyncratic mind altering temprament get in the way of my judgement....now my brain hurts...

**007XX** · 17th July 2007, 16:52

Originally Posted by maha man

Contradistinction springs to mind, indeed some would arguably agree with you, i tend not to let such an idiosyncratic mind altering temprament get in the way of my judgement....now my brain hurts...

Nice!

Don't hurt yourself though...everything in moderation, even moderation itself...