The most stupid thing you have done (while riding)

[ceebie13]

Not only trying to read a text message on my mobile (through the map pocket of my tank bag), but also trying to send a reply one-handed whilst riding the fast lane of the M1 in Buckinghamshire!

Makes me shudder to think of such lunacy!

Managed it though.

[Meanie]

Not only trying to read a text message on my mobile (through the map pocket of my tank bag), but also trying to send a reply one-handed whilst riding the fast lane of the M1 in Buckinghamshire!

Makes me shudder to think of such lunacy!

Managed it though.

Saw someone else doing that one day

[Animal]

Not me personally, but a laugh worth sharing...

I was lounging about in my flat with a bunch of people on a freezing winter night, dicussing the route for the next day's ride. We heard another mate approaching from several blocks away on his hell noisy CB900F. The exhaust system on this bike was not healthy, and we could hear him gearing up and slowing down for the many intersections on the way to my flat. He eventually howled up my driveway, scaring children and animals for miles in every direction. Then the bike went dead silent. Very suddenly, like he'd hit the kill switch. We all looked at each other in surprise, then carried on drinking / looking over maps. After about five minutes, our mate came in, dripping wet and clearly soaked through. He'd sped into my back yard and parked his bike in the bottom of my bloody swimming pool!

[Qkchk:Me]

Ever sneezed inside your helmet when youre gunked up with the flu?

[fireball]

i rode my trail bike over a angry bees nest once... once is enough they fly pretty quick!

[Bren]

Ever sneezed inside your helmet when youre gunked up with the flu?

Would rather sneeze in a helmet than chuck in one...

[Possum41]

Probably the worst for me would have to be a few years back when i had my TL1000R. I'm only about 5'6" or so tall and TL's aren't the lightest of bikes around.
I saddled the beast in town and went to ride away but somehow lost balance and dropped the bike on its side. This happened in the middle of the day on the main street of town.
So i picked myself up and tried and pick the bike up, with my pride already damaged i tried at least three times to pick it up and on the last try i somehow managed it, started her up and quickly rode away.
My face was so red from the embaressment, and became even brighter trying to pick the bike up off the ground. I think if i strained any harder i would have had something else to be embaressed about.
That was the last time i ever parked in that spot.

[Animal]

On a roll now as my memory brings back more embarrassing moments...

Some background first: In South Africa, tubular steel crash bars that formed a C-shaped cage on both sides of your bike, front and back, were compulsory for bikes until the mid-'80s. The front crash bars were usually bolted onto the bike's frame near the exhaust header, and between the frame and pillion footpegs at the rear. The rear bars were usually mounted so that the top of the bar was leaned back a few degrees in relation to the bottom.

The theory behind the crash bars was that they prevented your bike from crushing your legs if you dropped it. However, theory and reality seldom met and the bars tended to get hooked up on your legs and drag you to wherever your bike was going to end up. Pillions were especially vulnerable, and the fatality rate as a result of these bloody things were high, yet the traffic cops enforced their fitment with great enthusiasm as they were great quota material. Public outcry and a nationwide rebellion by most bikers (after two riders burnt to death because they were tangled up in a bike that caught fire and exploded) saw crash bars finally withdrawn as a legal requirement. Not surprisingly, the only people sad to see them go were the traffic cops, and the bike accident fatality figures dropped significantly.

I was on holiday in the UK and saw the launch of the 1100 Katana, which was several months before it first appeared in the South African media. I got home, and immediately went to the local Suzuki dealership and put my deposit down. The agent was surprised because the dealers were under instruction to keep the whole Katana thing secret, but he obliged by putting my name on the top of the list. Three months later, I owned the second 1100 Katana in South Africa - complete with the compulsory crash bars. Of relevance to this incident, and for those of you that remember the weird speedo / tacho unit on the Katana, this was a bizarre design where the needles appeared to be running in opposite directions. I never quite got used to that, but for the first few days, it really fucked with my head.

It all turned to shit during my usual riding-too-fast-while-lane-splitting commute through central Jo'burg traffic a few days later. I approached an intersection between two rows of stopped cars and as the lights turned green, I opened up the throttle to get ahead of the traffic, as one does. However, several things happened at once: The bike stopped dead; I headbutted the speedo / tacho; the speedo dropped to zero; and the bike redlined before I figured out that things were going badly wrong! The gap I'd taken between two cars was way too tight, and the rear crash bars had jammed between them, stopping the bike as effectively as a brick wall would. The angle the crash bars were mounted at caused the back wheel of the Katana to lift off the road by a few inches, hence the zero forward speed and second gear redline.

The drivers of the cars helped me dislodge my new bike and park it on the footpath. Kind of them, but once my helmet came off the knocked the snot out of me! Half an hour later, still trying to stop my nose, gums and head from bleeding, those fucking bars were removed and never went back on!

[scorpious]

id say that my favourite is backing into the testing officer lol
still passed

[Qkchk:Me]

I got home, and immediately went to the local Suzuki dealership and put my deposit down. The agent was surprised because the dealers were under instruction to keep the whole Katana thing secret, but he obliged by putting my name on the top of the list. Three months later, I owned the second 1100 Katana in South Africa - complete with the compulsory crash bars.

Really interesting story - You would happen to have any photos of these "Crash Bars" fitted to the Katana or any other bike? (Just shear curiousity)

[Mom]

id say that my favourite is backing into the testing officer lol
still passed

That made me laugh. When i did my test a hundred or so years ago, it involved a trip round the block with a traffic officer following you, oh and a few figure of 8's in the carpark. Hand signals were required as there were no indicators..lol.

The guy that tested me said go out here, turn left, then left etc......me i turned right and right and.......got back to the MOT office, cop gets out of car shaking his head, says if i had to pass you on following directions that is a definate fail, but you ride well!

The really dumbest thing I have ever done on a bike was at the Hahei motorcamp about 30 years ago. Riding my boyfriends brand new bike to the camp store, shorts, bare feet, bikini top (yeah, yeah, I once was young and stupid!) I elected to undertake a stationary car that i had followed back through camp. As I went past the rear left passengers door it opened on to my arm, before i could even register the ouch factor the front door opened and took out the indicator and very nearly unseated me from the bike. Now i am a bit shaken, shitting bricks cos the boyfriends bike is showing wiring where it shouldn't, and thinking gee my arm is going to be real sore later, the driver got out and abused the shit out of me at the top of his lungs! Now my cheeks are burning to boot. I slunk back to our camp site feeling very sorry for my self. B/f was ok about the bike, more concerned about any injuries, and very supportive when the camp managers came up and read the riot act to us as well

[ceebie13]

Ever sneezed inside your helmet

Nah, I can't get my head down there ... not that I've tried, you understand!

[fireball]

Nah, I can't get my head down there ... not that I've tried, you understand!

im sure you wouldnt leave a big mess it would be an easy clean!

[james89000]

Haha oh these make me laugh.
Lets see,
I was topping up my oil level, and almost put the engine cap into the container of oil haha oops.

Going for a ride with a friend, i looked back to see if he was far behind,
turned back round and i was heading off the road into the big rocky ditch!!
Was really bumpy and had to fight to keep the bike up, and finished it off with a allmighty rev off the engine.

Or, busting to take a leak and pulling off into the grass verge. doing a big rear skid all across the grass haha.

Or my friend who left his keys in the igniton for a good 2 hours.
Luckily it was in a rural area haha

[karmakillernz]

Well I've done a few silly things, but the most embarrassing was attempting to start the bike while it was in 1st gear.

It happened as I was leaving work. I usually start my bike and let it warm up a bit while I put the rest of my gear on. So I turn the key, lean over and go to start it... Well, before I know it, the bike lurches forward into the wall then comes hurling down on it's side towards me. Luckily I managed to grab it before it hit the ground and hold it inches above the ground before I could get help to lift it back up again.

Thankfully no damage (apart from my ego, of course). Guess who now always starts the bike with the clutch disengaged?

I've also enjoyed some classic newbie mistakes like trying to kick over my RG150 for 10 minutes before realizing the kill switch was on.

But my worst (as in the most dangerous) was when I wasn't paying enough attention while cruising through a small town. I didn't notice the van in front of me stopping for a pedestrian crossing. I soon realized I was coming up way too fast and grabbed a handful of front-break (completely forgetting I had a rear break at my disposal too). Suddenly my front wheel locks up, starts wobbling all over the place and screeching to high heaven. Somehow I managed to gain control again and stop in time.

It was embarrassing for sure (especially as it was a busy Sunday and everyone looked around ), but it also pissed me off because it was such a stupid mistake to make. Oh well, at least I learned that I always need to pay full attention - even when crawling through town.