Knife incident

[yod]

yeah, violence, thats the answer....

how old is this kid? 8? 11? you're a grown man and you think beating the little guy will help?

where do you think he got the violent behaviour from in the first place?

[peasea]

yeah, violence, thats the answer....

how old is this kid? 8? 11? you're a grown man and you think beating the little guy will help?

where do you think he got the violent behaviour from in the first place?

I'll suss that out when I meet dad in a few hours.
Frankly, I don't buy that ADD shit, I think it's a tree-huggers label for an undisciplined brat.

Like I'd seriously go bash the little shit? It's what I feel like doing but in all honesty I'll take it one step at a time, thoughtfully. IMHO the knives need to in locked cupboards for a start. If it's not my daughter getting stuck, then who's it going to be and when?

[Paul in NZ]

Well your daughters lucky to have a caring parent - good on ya.

Don't blow it by loosing your cool now but you have to take some sort of action. Report it to the police mate. It will hopefully go on his record and further down the track it might make a difference in someone elses life.

The kids parents will doubtless play the blame game having already tried to avoid their responsibilities - report it NOW and walk away.

Cheers

[ManDownUnder]

Pat her on the back and tell her to be proud of herself for doing all the right things, but when it comes down to it, if it's her personal saftey over responsibilities as a babysitter, personal safety comes first.

Can the babysitting gig. She's not going to feel safe there again, and the problem presented is not your daughters - it's the host family's. For every action there are consequences, this seems like a sensible one to me.

Teach her the right thing to do should that happen again...
Step one would have to be "GET THE HELL OUT"
Step two would be get help. Ring you, the cops - whatever.

QDOS to your little girl...

[ynot slow]

Shoot the parents,their attitude is throw money at the problem,they're too busy building their empire at the risk of having nothing for it if the kids fuck it up.Maybe pay a kid a year or too older to smack the little prick around,piss take but an idea lol.The kid is just misunderstood thats all,yeah right tell that to the person who cops it next time and the prat gets older it gets worse.

[Edbear]

I'll suss that out when I meet dad in a few hours.
Frankly, I don't buy that ADD shit, I think it's a tree-huggers label for an undisciplined brat.

Like I'd seriously go bash the little shit? It's what I feel like doing but in all honesty I'll take it one step at a time, thoughtfully. IMHO the knives need to in locked cupboards for a start. If it's not my daughter getting stuck, then who's it going to be and when?

Firstly, congrats on your relationship with your daughter, it pays off! And I would go and speak to the father, it may be that the older son has already told him what happened and there is no comeback on you if you have spoken to him first before taking it further.

My wife is in childcare and gets very frustrated with the restrictions on discipline - basically they are simply not allowed to discipline the kids AT ALL! And it shows up with the toddlers and pre-schoolers. She deplores the attitudes of many parents who have absolutely no clues about parenting!

WE have raised three to adults, 32, 28, 23, and have a very close relationship with them (and the two sons-in-law).

ADHD is a genuine problem, and our son was one of these kids. He was uncontrollable and violent. If we went anywhere I'd basically have to sit him on my knee in a bear-hug until we left as he'd just destroy the place! My wife was a nervous wreck and when he started school the teachers used to ring up and ask her to collect him and take him home as he was beating up kids 2-3 years older and disrupting the class. Hidings had no effect on his behaviour.

This was back before ADHD was "discovered", but once diagnosed and tested for allergies and put on a diet, his behaviour changed virtually overnight. One thing that came to the fore was his own understanding of his problem and instead, as most kids do, wanting the things he couldn't have, he knew what certain foods would do to him and he dsicplined himself to avoid them. We helped, of course by finding nice stuff he could eat and praising his attitude and efforts. It took about 5 years of treatment and diet but he gradually "grew out of it" and by the time he was a teenager he was calmer. (Then of course came the teenage years with their challenges..). He was left with a learning disability but on his own, he worked hard to get welding qualifications and has worked to support himself all his life. To look at him now, you would see a laid back, intelligent young man, (yes at 32 I think he's young...), who cares deeply about his family. He's had some tough times and is divorced - got married too fast - but is recovering and doing well.

As parents, we sacrificed the chase for money to spend all our time and energies on the kids and we did everything together, bushwalking, beachcombing, trips here and there. We never had much but had time for each other and bedtimes were special times for talking together. Weekend mornings would usually see 5 in our bed as the kids would jump on us and wake us up!

You are right, though in that too often a kid is said to have ADHD when it is more a matter of absent parents and no discipline. I find it difficult to believe the stories my wife brings home! We feel so sorry for the kids!

[Grub]

I just about lost my rag when I see you drop that 111kph shit {yawn} into such a serious issue. FFS get over yourself and get a life. Just in case you were away that day, the Policeman in the yellow car is a traffic cop, if you're 11kmh over the limit, he'll give you a ticket. The Policemen in the orange car aren't traffic cops and won't give you a traffic ticket, they're too busy doing things like attending incidents where people pull knives.

So, onto the real issue, call the nice Policeman in an orange car. The incident becomes a matter of record, that kid's record. This means if they're called to an incident at that house, they know to be wary of weapons being used, they know when it happens again that yours wasn't an isolated occurence, they know when it happens again that the kid needs to be referred to an agency for attention. If it's serious enough then there's issues about appropriate parental control.

Do nothing? Then it's you who are starting the soft-cock and wet bus ticket scenario you hate so much. How th F do you know this is not the second or the third time this has happened? If there's a whole lot of others who have also done nothing "because nothing will get done" then it may very well be you that has someone's blood on their hands - from inaction.

[scumdog]

Step two would be get help. Ring you, the cops - whatever....

Hmm, I doubt he'd do that - they're all useless and waaay to busy torturing innocent bikers by dishing out tickets and sending taxis to frantic scared women.....why would they bother with a little non-injury knife incident involving some young kid???

[Swoop]

The community constable is still a policeman, and probably more interested in what goes on in "his patch".
At least give him/her a heads-up on a potential person of future interest.

Knives in the kitchen? They are not the problem, the person is the problem.

[Grub]

And the "dilated pupils" ... what's with that? The kid is on drugs?

[yod]

I'll suss that out when I meet dad in a few hours.
Frankly, I don't buy that ADD shit, I think it's a tree-huggers label for an undisciplined brat.

Like I'd seriously go bash the little shit? It's what I feel like doing but in all honesty I'll take it one step at a time, thoughtfully. IMHO the knives need to in locked cupboards for a start. If it's not my daughter getting stuck, then who's it going to be and when?

good to hear...i was just getting little concerned with the amount of pitchfork waving the kb crowd was engaging in...

You're quite right, if the child is prone to this type of behaviour, preventative measures should certainly be in place!! Although if this is the first time he's gone for a knife then you would hope these measures are about to be adopted - I guess you'll be mentioning this to the dad

and trust me mate....it isnt a "tree-huggers label" and discipline or lack thereof is not necessarily the problem - suffice it to say I have some knowledge in the area....

[Macktheknife]

Sounds like your daughter is a smart cookie, calm and capable too, well done to her, and to you also.
As for the Kid, it needs to be reported for all the reasons stated above, speak to the kids parents by all means but also do the right thing for the next poor babysitter who has to go in there and deal with this kid and his family.
Best of luck

[Coldrider]

The kid is probably high on additives, salts & sugars in the crap food that is fed/sold these days (maybe why ADD is something reletively new & increasing in numbers). The kid is out of control with himself. It is like drugs & alcohol to small bodies. Bet when he calmed down he would have been an angel and gone to sleep exhausted.
It comes down to parenting & responsibilities.
What are the reasons a kid would behave this way.

[Stickchick]

I had the same thing happen to me when I was 18 and babysitting, an 8yo pulled a knife on me and locked me out of the house so I called the cops and his parents. He certainly realised that it wasnt fun anymore when the cops got involved. Needless to say I didn;t babysit for the parents again unless that particular kid was not home

[Angusdog]

Well, to be honest none of us apart from Peasea knows this kid so we don't know the situation. His problems (which no-one's denying) could stem from various sources: diet, poor parenting, psychological problems, chemical imbalance or being possessed by Beelzebub and his many demons. The kid's clearly a danger to himself and others, and it's not appropriate to start claiming this kid's protected, will 'get away with it' and society's too weak on violence - A community constable is obliged to assess these situations and act accordingly.

I personally don't agree with the concept of family group conferences; I think kids need, from a young age, to know there are consequences to actions. Clearly we don't imprison 2 year olds, but what do you do about a violent 11 year old? I don't know, but I do know to defer to those who do. Public safety is why we have a police force, and I think they do a good job. You'll always hear stories about young offenders who get punished by being sent on holiday to the Gold Coast, but I think the reality is somewhat different.