How to be a man

[jrandom]

Kill vagrant wetas

You kill wetas? You heathen! I usually sit and talk to them for a while, offer them something fruity, let them clamber about on my hand and hopefully not chomp on it... one of the few species of animal in this world that it pains me to harm.

Remove white-tailed spiders

Now there's a bug that needs killin'.

[Big Dave]

Hitcher says white tails get a bad rap.

They probably do - but the bacteria they can carry on their fags - that causes gangrene in people who are allergic to it however casts them in the kill on sight bin. Mercilessly and without compunction.

I have seen the effects on my own flesh and blood. And the hyperbaric chamber treatment that cured it.

[jrandom]

the bacteria they can carry on their fags - that causes gangrene in people who are allergic to it however casts them in the kill on sight bin. Mercilessly and without compunction.

Yup. Absolutely.

Mother of a friend lost half her thumb to necrosis following a whitetail bite.

Airborne neurotoxins all the way. Die, Aussie motherfuckers. Die.

[Big Dave]

Die, Aussie motherfuckers. Die.

Imagine my delight when I thought I had got away from them.

I don't mind living without funnel webs or red belly black snakes. Nor do I miss motherfucker caterpillers, red backs or termites.

I do miss blue tongues and parrots.

[jrandom]

I do miss blue tongues...

If I recall correctly, back in primary school, there was a flavour of bubblegum which was pretty much guaranteed to achieve that. I'm sure you can still find it at corner dairies.

[idb]

.... but the bacteria they can carry on their fags - ......

Those fags are full of diseases

[deanohit]

So all you whom have completed (or nearly) the list, how does one patch a radiator hose?

One time up in the back blocks with my truck, it decided to blow a radiator hose a long way from help. We got a stick that would fit inside the hose and put some red hot nails down it to make a tube, stuck it in the radiator hose, plenty of duct tape and hose clamps, then drove out with the windows down and the heater on full to help get rid of heat. Held on for 3 hours till we got back to a farm and the cow cocky gave us a hose to fit, but I don't know how much further it would have gone.

[Hitcher]

You kill wetas? You heathen!

Mrs H demands nothing less than seeing total murder death kill. She is not a woman to be trifled with. Be afraid.

[deanohit]

Be very afraid.

My mum is like that, spraying around the house once a week to rain death upon all spiders.

[Goblin]

So all you whom have completed (or nearly) the list, how does one patch a radiator hose?

With ones pantyhose...

[Coyote]

26: Have a Vagina

That's a load of bull. Retouch digital photos? Extend your wireless network?!

[007XX]

With ones pantyhose...

Oh boy! I'd like to see that...

Would electrical tape do the trick? Quite seriously, there are a number of items that never leave my handbag: my leatherman (always have a knife), electrical tape and some earplugs...

These have come to be surprisingly handy over the years, even though I get a lot of crap from both male and females about not having lipstick in there instead!

[Big Dave]

Those fags are full of diseases

Ha! - it's the pricks that get cha.

[007XX]

Ha! - it's the pricks that get cha.

Mmmmm...is that what it was all these years? But they seemed so friendly...

[ManDownUnder]

You kill wetas? You heathen! I usually sit and talk to them for a while, offer them something fruity, let them clamber about on my hand and hopefully not chomp on it... one of the few species of animal in this world that it pains me to harm.

Exactly. I give the little buggers somewhere to live. A short length of bamboo (with a 10mm ID?) with the little bamboo segment/partition at the top as a lid. Nail it to a tree so they can climb up into it sleep in there. No hassles from pesky birds, cats, rats or whatever!