Suicide stories

[Conquiztador]

A real one.

A few years ago I was together with a girl who confessed to me that she could sense things. She was not sure how it happened. But she was able to sense things other could not.

OK I said. I am a white man and sense nothing. But I believe there is things in this world I have no idea about. So yeah, I believe you.

One evening we went out to have a few drinks with a work mate of hers who had been made redundant. At the pub this work mate had a boyfriend with her. One of those who, no matter what you spoke about, had done that and been there. I spoke alot to her. She was one of those who you want to take in your arms and help, do everything you can to. Her ex, who lived a few houses from me, was not a nice guy. He did not want his boys and he had a habit of putting her in hospital...

We had a few drinks and then all 4 headed home to my g/f's friends house. It had beds for 2 young children and I asked where they were. She told me that they were in Oz with her mum. But she would go and see them soon and they would come back home. And we discussed about that her 2 boys would play soccer in a club I run in the winter.

After about four hours I wanted to go home. My ex did not. And after some waiting (I was the driver) I left her there. One hour later she was dropped home by her friend, who when reversing out from my driveway, broke her mirror.

Next day when we drove to somewhere I went past the friends place to apologize for that she had to bring my now ex g/f home. But my now ex g/f did not want me to go in and apologize. She got quite stroppy about it and told me I would look like a dork and that her friend wanted to be alone. Sadly I allowed her to stop me from going in. But I felt very wrong about it.

Her friend flew to Oz the next morning to see her mum and her boys.

One week later I got to know that she had committed suicide. She had argued with her mum. Then walked in to her mums garage and hang her self. Her boys, who were there, had walked in the next morning to find their mum dead.

I only knew her for a few hours, but she made an impression on me. I wish I had gone in to her that morning. Not sure if it would have changed anything. But I will never know.

And my ex g/f... She did not sense that coming. Nor that she was my ex soon after.

[Bikernereid]

is the lowest form of wit!!

I am just being honest and to the point, not beating around the bush and giving platitudes

If only Ian's doctors had thought to say that to him, eh?

I can see you're destined for a brilliant career in psychiatry.

[Nade]

I am impressed. Suacide has to be one of the hardest and most misunderstood topic's / actions to discuss. Untill you have been there it is incomprehensible to anybody else. I have found that talking about it with others that have 'been there' helped. I suffer from BI-polar which after many years of undiagnosed (or more correctly incorrect diagnosis) upheavals and attemps to destroy my life has finally resulted in myself being able to watch for triggers....subtle mood changes, changes in thought patterns etc and allowed me to come off my meds under proper supervised direction. None of this would have been possible if I hadn't been able to talk openly about my attemps on my own life and to some degree listening to those around me while spending time mental health units. Talking to fellow sufferers (call them wot you will) about there own experiences...their own illnesses etc has allowed me to understand more fully my own illness and how to 'combat' it. Im not saying im cured...because I know that at the first inkling...first hiccup in the road...i'll be straight back on the meds untill I can level out. Getting help is not a sign of weakness...to me its a sign of strength..a sign that really you know your not well.
A fellow patient once said to me...'people always call you a coward for attemping or succeeding at suacide.....i rekon it takes balls. To be at a point where your able to take your own life requires its own strength....in a fucked up way'. And ya know...after talking to him for a few days I kinda see where he was coming from....hard to explain....but basically when the minds urge to die overrides the bodys self preservation mechcanisim....and basically it is the mind not the body that wants to die...strange things can happen. The mind is a very fragile thing.....it dosent take much to upset it....drugs...booze...physical damage...mental stress....etc etc etc..the list goes on. Wot makes us different is how we deal with each of those as individuals....everyone is different..we all have differing levels of naturally occuring chemicals and they can get 'out of whack'. its just the way it is...as I see it.
I have attempted suacide on more than one occassion. Gasing, over dose, cutting myself....im not proud of it. But it did act as a catalyst and spur me to keep seeking help till I found wot I needed. GP's although they should always be in the loop are not, in my view, qualified to seriously diagnose a mental illness. My GP for 2 years continually said I was just 'simply' depressed and prescribed anti-depressants....for me being on anti-depressants, and at the levels he was prescribing, was a big no no.....they actually made my illness worse in the fact that I was so 'high' (manic) on them I didn't care about wot I was doing untill it was too late and came crashing down the other side sending me into the deepest darkest period of my life...all the while taking my pills everyday like a good little soldier. Untill I actually attempted suacide I knew nothing of the mental health system and how to get the help i really needed....but by then it was a bit late..the damage was done.
Anyways....I could rant on here for ages and ages....I have written reams of pages on my personal experiences and wot I think are the possible causes and effects of my actions over the past 10 years. I have never showed anyone but Physc's and fellow suffers and I never will show anyone else...cos to my mind no one else would ever understand and probably write me off as a nutter....just like society likes to 'label' people with mental health problems. Hopefully society as a whole is becoming more aware because of people like john kirwin.

[jazbug5]

I GP's although they should always be in the loop are not, in my view, qualified to seriously diagnose a mental illness. My GP for 2 years continually said I was just 'simply' depressed and prescribed anti-depressants....for me being on anti-depressants, and at the levels he was prescribing, was a big no no.....

I would just like to back Nade up on this one. My Dad is bi-polar and we recently discovered that his d*ckhead GP had taken him off Lithium without consulting his notes or referring him to a psychiatrist. (As well as ignoring all the signs of prostate cancer until he was in such agony he went private.. no, I'm not a fan.)

The result was that we nearly lost him and my mother.. well, I don't really want to have to spell it out. Dad is now hospitalised and Mum devastated. I will never trust a GP again with anything serious- but would particularly advise people with mental illness to see a specialist.

[vifferman]

I ... would particularly advise people with mental illness to see a specialist.

The trouble is this: usually you have to get a referral from your GP, so you're dependent on him/her agreeing that you need to see one, and referring you to the right one.
Secondly, you have no way of telling whether the specialist is any good for you. It's not just a matter of whether they are good at what they do, it's also a question of compatibility. The last one I saw was too old, and had preconceived ideas which were wrong. The one before that didn't offer me any real help in terms of suggestions for managing things or whatever. Both were more oriented toward management by medication than looking at things more holistically - the big picture.

It IS a big picture: lifestyle, attitudes, diet, history, neurochemistry, environment, etc etc. Specialists specialise - usually picking on neurochemistry or history/attitudes. Medication or psychobabble.

[Joni]

The trouble is this: usually you have to get a referral from your GP, so you're dependent on him/her agreeing that you need to see one, and referring you to the right one

And even when he/she sends you to a specialist you cannot 100% be assured that they will get it right.

We were told 100% that my father needed electroshock therapy to treat his problems.

The day he had that done, was the beginning of the end.

[DMNTD:Me]

Your GP is OBLIGED to refer you to a specialist if you ask them to.

[vifferman]

Your GP is OBLIGED to refer you to a specialist if you ask them to.

I did not know that.
However, my point was that your average GP would probably discuss it with you, and might end up talking you out of it, if you started off along the lines of, "Look, I'm not feeling very good, and think seeing a specialist might help."

[DMNTD:Me]

I did not know that.
However, my point was that your average GP would probably discuss it with you, and might end up talking you out of it, if you started off along the lines of, "Look, I'm not feeling very good, and think seeing a specialist might help."

Correct...have had certain GP's try that with me too. More than a little frustrating until I was informed of my rights.

[007XX]

Correct...have had certain GP's try that with me too. More than a little frustrating until I was informed of my rights.

And you hit the nail on the head right there...Knowing your rights is very important when you are dealing with a new doctor / lawyer/ specialist of whatever that you do not have an established trust with...

I have gone to the same GP for the last 13 years and refuse to go see anyone else, as anytime I've had to (like on weekends, going to A & E ), I've had nothing but problems.

My GP is absolutely fantastic and he has seen me through depression, my son's early ADD signs and many other things...never has he made a wrong call nor taken anything for granted. He'll check everything and let's me know about my options in a unbiaised way.

My point: they are not all bad, you just got to find the right one. So get second and third or fourth opinion until your satisfied with the doctor.

[Nade]

My point: they are not all bad, you just got to find the right one. So get second and third or fourth opinion until your satisfied with the doctor.

Exactly.....keep trying till your satisfied your getting the help you need/ want. You have to be 'happy' within yourself that your getting the help you need before you can begin the climb.

[jazbug5]

Look, I know there are good GPs out there. The point I was making was that they do not generally know enough to prescribe properly for very serious mental illness such as bi-polar. It's very common for people to be given anti-depressants by GPs when they aren't even depressed- and as Nade found, they can trigger mania in bi-polar patients. Something even the 'good' GP at my parents' practice didn't know about when I spoke to him.
'Luckily' my dad got sectioned before the meds he'd been prescribed had a chance to take effect.

I know there are also arrogant and incompetent specialists out there- but you still stand a better chance with an average trick cyclist than an average GP. You wouldn't go to a GP for chemotherapy, would you?

As for ECT: I hate it too, and am having great difficulty with the fact that my father is being subjected to it yet again on top of everything else he is having to deal with. However it's a different experience from twenty years ago, the last time he was bad enough to 'need' it. They say it's changed, and they seem to be proceeding with more caution than before.
They've persuaded him it's best, and ultimately it is his decision as he feels he'll get better more quickly with it than without it.

Unfortunately, when someone is ill they tend not to insist upon their rights. So if you've got a close family member or friend who is ill, please think about attending the GP with them to back them up, or encourage them to change doctors if the GP is not sympathetic. I wish we had before it had got to this stage.

[Bikernereid]

In my humble opinion ECT should not be used unless in dire circumstances. Although I do not know the situation your father was in I think for the most part it is barbaric. I have heard of a patient who after ECT stabbed his psychiatrist and killed him so it obviously didn't work for him!

I would always suggest a second opinion, I know it is difficult but at the end of the day an individuals mental health is the most important thing in the world.

And even when he/she sends you to a specialist you cannot 100% be assured that they will get it right.

We were told 100% that my father needed electroshock therapy to treat his problems.

The day he had that done, was the beginning of the end.

[Korumba]

We all know or knew someone like this!!

One day, when I was a freshman in high school,
I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd.'
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. '
They really should get lives.
' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.
He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books
He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends
He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
' He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors we began to think about college.
Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation.
I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.
He looked great.
He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.
He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech.
So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
' Thanks,' he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began
'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach..but mostly your friends...
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.
I am going to tell you a story.'
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
'Thankfully, I was saved.
My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.'
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions.
With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

[rudolph]

would a pirson die from a OD of fentonol, synthetic morphine?