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Thread: Calling all bullshit artists!

  1. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Str8 Jacket View Post
    OK people, I really need excuses cause as of last pay I had 1.5 hours of annual leave owing. I have used all day's that I had accrued already!
    That's unfortunate eh?

    Quote Originally Posted by RantyDave View Post
    Not wishing to appear like a radical, but how about "I have a job interview".

    Oh, silly me, assuming a rational workplace once again.

    Dave
    Yeah, it seems that truth is generally frowned upon these days...

    Quote Originally Posted by Str8 Jacket View Post
    lol, remember were talking about *my* place of work. Anyway. Id much rather "spring" it on them and give them a taste of their own medicine!
    Yeah, you want to move somewhere better - good way to start out by being deceptive to your current employer

    Quote Originally Posted by Conquiztador View Post
    U want to take 1/2 day off to go for another job.
    And you want your current employer to pay for it.
    You have not been in the current job for 6 months so you are not entitled to sick days.
    You have already used your accrured holidays and only have a couple of hours owing.
    You do not have the imagination to figure out an excuse to tell your current employer.

    What a catch...
    +1 - HTFU and say you won't be coming to work until XX am/pm on that or that day. When asked for a reason you can say that you're going to a job interview or that you're not going to answer that question.
    It is preferential to refrain from the utilisation of grandiose verbiage in the circumstance that your intellectualisation can be expressed using comparatively simplistic lexicological entities. (...such as the word fuck.)

    Remember your humanity, and forget the rest. - Joseph Rotblat

  2. #47
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    3rd May 2005 - 10:28
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    Waah! You guy's are being so mean. Stop it!

    Seriously though, it was a bit of fun. Im not stupid but my current employer has treated me like shit since I started and now there is no work coming in so I am going to leave before I *have* to. I am a Team Leader and I start 1 hour before everyone else so I need to make sure that I have a good excuse before getting a director in to work early! I had a few excuses lined up but I am not a very good liar so I was just seeing if anyone had any good excuses just lieing around that I could use cause there is no way in hell I could get away with saying that I am going for a job interview. I work for a small company and they already make my life hell.

    As for HTFU, say it to my face and then see what happens OR just STFU
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  3. #48
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    Although I am a fan of the truth in these situations (what if the interviewer wants to ring your current boss for referals?) and think perhaps just asking for 4hrs off without pay might be the best plan. (why 4hrs? is the interview quite far away?)
    In any case the best bet is the:
    "This morning I discovered my hot water cylinder was leaking and I am trying to clean it up whilst I wait for the plumber, Be in as soon as I can" routine.
    Good luck.
    I wouldn’t be broke if the voices in my head paid rent

  4. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blossom View Post
    Although I am a fan of the truth in these situations (what if the interviewer wants to ring your current boss for referals?) and think perhaps just asking for 4hrs off without pay might be the best plan. (why 4hrs? is the interview quite far away?)
    In any case the best bet is the:
    "This morning I discovered my hot water cylinder was leaking and I am trying to clean it up whilst I wait for the plumber, Be in as soon as I can" routine.
    Good luck.
    Its OK, I was joking about the pay thing. I just want 4 hours off!!
    As for the references I am sweet. I have 4 from all my previous jobs. I will explain to the new company that I have only been there a short time and dont want them to know I am looking..... Not worried about that at all.
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  5. #50
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    What a pathetic load of excuses, it's quite obvious Aliens abducted you. Hmmmph there are some sirry iriots here.
    Caution is not a substitute for skill :no

  6. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElCoyote View Post
    What a pathetic load of excuses, it's quite obvious Aliens abducted you. Hmmmph there are some sirry iriots here.
    Ha! Aliens eh! Last week when we had a powercut and flames started bursting outta the footpath by work I told them all it was aliens..... I told them that they would be back. Mwahahahahahahaha!
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  7. #52
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    oooh no, don't go with the alien one, geez. Imagine the detail you'd have to make up about anal probes and harvesting of your ovarian tissue ......

  8. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Planna View Post
    oooh no, don't go with the alien one, geez. Imagine the detail you'd have to make up about anal probes and harvesting of your ovarian tissue ......
    Maybe it'll be to traumatic for me to talk about!
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  9. #54
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    Hey, you're good ....... and it was so traumatic that ACC's funding three hours a week at psychotherapy for the next six months ...........

    Seriously though, good luck for the job interview! Central government rocks. Shhhh - who said that!?!?

  10. #55
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    Finn was onto it, the tangihana leave thing. OK you don't know anyone that died, so just look up the death notices and pick a funeral on that day that has a person that sounds easily like it could be one of your dearest rellies (in your boss's eyes that is). Then say I'm sorry I've got to go to .........'s funeral but I'll do my best to back just as quick as I can even though it could be a bit traumatic for me having been so close to this person. Make it sound like you are going out of your way to do your best for the boss.

    So its really 5 months since I saw you in town just after your last interview when you were looking so happy about it!
    Cheers

    Merv

  11. #56
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    Tell them you're getting a boob job

  12. #57
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    I'm tired, and I haven't had any dinner yet.

    I'd therefore like you all to imagine that this post is a vicious tirade against all time-wasting socialists bleeding our economy dry and contributing to the pathetic downfall of what used to be a country full of hard-working cunts who'd rather starve than steal or lie, because, frankly, I can't be arsed writing one.

    This is the way the world ends; not with a bang but a whimper.

    Thank you. As you were.
    kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
    - mikey

  13. #58
    Quote Originally Posted by Str8 Jacket View Post
    Its OK, I was joking about the pay thing. I just want 4 hours off!!
    As for the references I am sweet. I have 4 from all my previous jobs. I will explain to the new company that I have only been there a short time and dont want them to know I am looking..... Not worried about that at all.
    Can you get the interview time changed? Having been in similar situations (not wanting current employer to know I'm looking for an exit strategy), most employers (the decent ones at least) will work around current employers restrictions... and will slot you in either early (not good for job interviews), or last thing - which is the best (from an HR point of view), as the last person interviewed is often the one who sticks in the interview panels minds the most...
    UKMC #64

  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrandom View Post
    I'd therefore like you all to imagine that this post is a vicious tirade against all time-wasting socialists bleeding our economy dry and contributing to the pathetic downfall of what used to be a country full of hard-working cunts who'd rather starve than steal or lie, because, frankly, I can't be arsed writing one.
    Well..... Im actually looking for a new job because I cannot handle having NOTHING to do all day. Literally! I have a team who are slowly leaving cause their has been NO work since the beginning of the year and I am not joking! I am sick to death of sitting at work with nothing to do so I am looking for a job where I will be busy and actually earn my wages!
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  15. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Str8 Jacket View Post
    I am sick to death of sitting at work with nothing to do so I am looking for a job where I will be busy and actually earn my wages!
    Fair call.

    I would recommend fronting up to your employer and telling them that. NZ employment law gives you enormous leeway, you know. They can't just fire you because you're dissatisfied.

    In terms of the leave for your job interview, I would suggest taking an unpaid half-day off and providing an honest explanation of why you're doing it. The self-respect you'll gain will be worth every cent of the lost income.

    For that matter, an employee being willing to lose a half-day's wages so that she can pursue other work could be just the wakeup call your employer needs.
    kiwibiker is full of love, an disrespect.
    - mikey

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